FLF: Okay, chapter six
Voices: This is new. Yay.
FLF: Newness rocks.
Voices: So what's new with you?
FLF: An A in math, you best believe
Disclaimer: I don't own the Digidestined, but the rest of the story is pretty much mine. I think? Dunno. It feels like mine, but then so does this computer and we've had that debate.
Voices: Yes, yes we have fur.
~*~
~*~
~*~
TK's POV
I was completely confused by the letter that I held in my hand. Why would Kari send me this? What was she talking about? I read the words one more time.
So TK, who's the girl?
-Kari
~*~
Kari's POV
I was astounded that I hadn't noticed it before, how blind I'd been! "The things we've done, the people we've kissed." TK had said. Well I'd come clean, but he surely hadn't. He'd been right, it was time to move on, but you can't move on from something you'd never known. I couldn't believe he'd cheated and never told me. But then. what proof did I have? Maybe he wasn't cheating and I'd just jumped to conclusions as quickly as I'd jumped out of Izzy's room that night. Words had raced through my head, begging to be heard, written, read.
I regretted the bluntness of the letter; it must have given TK some jolt if he hadn't actually done what I thought. But I felt so sure, remembering the way he'd spoken to me. I frowned, I didn't even know if I was angry. I was so confused. I climbed up into my bed and fell asleep.
The next day classes begun, I was glad to have some time to just paint what I felt so 'freedom of the brush' was even nicer than usual for me. Afterward I felt a little better, enough that I could work up the courage to check my mail. Before I'd been too afraid, not wanting to read anything I'd get from TK. I walked up to the main office where the students had their post boxes and emptied mine into my hand. Sure enough, there was a letter from TK. My heart throbbed. I couldn't wait to open it, yet I dreaded it with my whole heart. I began to tear at the edges as I felt a tap on my shoulder. I took a deep breath and turned around.
"Kari?" Ben asked sheepishly as he saw my frustrated expression.
"Yes?" I replied, biting my lower lip.
"Look I just wanted to let you know." He began, looking me straight in the eye and speaking gently, "that I'm not mad and I don't think you're crazy. I know it wasn't your fault that you hurt me. And I think I'm ready to be your friend."
I smiled up at him, almost forgetting the letter, "Thanks. You know, your friendship means a lot to me."
"I'm glad," He spoke, he looked me over and his voice was lined with genuine worry, "Are you alright?"
"Sure." I replied, but his expression didn't change. "No, you know what? Actually, I'm not alright."
"Do you. wanna talk about it?" He asked. I nodded and led him to my room. I opened the door to find a note from Kaori, which said that she'd be playing basketball in the gym right now, but if I needed to talk about anything I could catch her at dinner. I sighed and climbed up to my top bunk, motioning for Ben to follow. He looked uncomfortable as he sat there with me, but I reassured him that this was normal- we were friends.
"So what is it?" he asked, watching me with concern
"It's this." I said holding up the letter, "When I went back home for break my boyfriend TK and I had the best time. Do you remember," I shifted uncomfortably, "When I told you off in the hallway that day? Well Kaori recorded what I said and sent it to him. So when I came home he'd forgiven me. Everything was just perfect, it was fun and exciting. we were at an apex, you know? Things couldn't get better, they could only get worse."
"And that's when my brother came to deliver a pizza."
"Yes. I felt so bad that I snapped to reality, like I'd been on some sort of cloud. And once I fell off I just couldn't get back on. When I got here I was. confused and lost. Something in the back of my mind had been torturing me and I'd just kept pushing it back. You know how that is?"
"Yeah,"
"And I saw you and you looked. Tortured. I don't know why, I think maybe that's self important of me to say, but you did. And I finally let this little thing at the back of my mind creep to the forefront. And I needed comfort. and so I ran to you, but I took you for granted and you sent me away and. That night I wrote two letters. You got yours, and now you're here. And TK got his. And this is his response."
"I think you left something out. You never told me what was at the back of your mind." He began; I could tell he was excited, wondering if maybe I'd been harboring feelings for him. I sighed.
"Oh. Right. Well, I guess that's even the most important part." I started again, clearing my throat. "Right when I got back and he ran up to greet me, I went to apologize. He cut me off though, and he said something along the lines of 'it doesn't matter who we kissed because we're together now'. And I realized that he was hiding something from me. I didn't mean to overreact. But it's really hard to own up to your actions, you know?"
"Yeah."
"And I had. Completely. I never denied that I. enjoyed the kiss." I began, blushing and finding myself unable to meet his gaze, "I never denied that I kissed you back. I never blamed it on you or any of the other things that I could have done to make the ordeal easier for me. I told him the whole entire truth. And he didn't tell me any of it." I was beginning to get upset, and he could tell.
"Shhh. It's alright to be upset, Kari, I know this has been hard for you, but maybe. Maybe you're jumping to conclusions."
"Well that's what I'm about to find out." I said as I tore open the letter, heart pounding like crazy, head spinning, Ben took my hand as I read what it said.
Dear Kari,
Her name is Marie. I swear it's not like you think. She's not a boy snatcher. She's sweet and kind and. she had a crush on me. It was innocent and pure like your Ben. And so we became friends and when I got that letter from Davis and when I saw what happened on TV. She was there for me. And she hugged me and told me that everything would be okay. I don't know. it was comfort, free and simple. We kissed maybe twice. No more. I don't know why I didn't tell you about her. I guess things were finally going just right with us and I didn't want to change them. I'm sorry. I feel terrible. And she's a wreck. She doesn't want to cause trouble. I told her that there would be no trouble. I hope that I'm right, Kari.
Love always,
TK
I looked up at Ben, frowning, "What do I do with this?" I cried
"You forgive him." He replied, "He forgave you. He just wants things to be right, so forgive him."
I was moved by Ben's words: after all of this I'd made a true friend. He was selfless with his advice, I could tell that he didn't want to say these words, but knew that they were the proper advice. I knew that they were the proper advice. But that didn't matter. "I don't. I don't want to. I don't want to forgive him." I whispered.
"Then take some time to calm down."
"That sounds like a good idea. I just need to talk this out."
"Listen, this is just my advice, you have to deal with it however you see fit. The last decision is yours. But I'm always here to help" He said. I smiled sadly at him.
"Thank you, but I think I've talked you out for now. I'll see you at dinner in a little while."
"Alright," He said climbing down from the top bunk, "Goodbye, Kari."
"Bye," I said, giggling slightly as Kaori burst through the door, sweaty and flushed, bumping into Ben. Kaori was terribly embarrassed as she apologized, but Ben just smiled and walked out the door.
~*~
After Ben left, I gave Kaori the letter to read. After she was finished she said that she needed to think before dispensing any thought gems. So I told her to go take a shower. I said that we could talk after dinner.
I walked down the hall with the letter crumpled in my pocket. I felt slightly like a cancer patient taking as many opinions as I could because I wasn't really ready to see the truth. I stood at Izzy's door, wanting more than anything to hear his calm voice smooth through all of my problems like a comb. But instead I stopped to listen to voices through the walls.
"What is it with you, lately? You never had problems with exclusivity before, now all the sudden it's every time we talk, or kiss or are even near each other, God, Izzy make up your mind, what do you want us to be?" Yelled a female voice
"I want us to be. both?" I heard Izzy reply weakly
"We can't be both. Look Damnit, as far as I see it, either we are or we're not. I don't even know if I want to be a part of this anymore. I won't just be your booty call at three in the morning, because you drag emotion into it. And I can't just be your girlfriend because you can't make up your mind. So choose, Izzy. Relationships need order and definition to survive, so what are we?"
"Why can't we be both?"
"It's one or nothing." She said firmly.
"Fine." He replied, still calm
"Fine. So what will it be?"
"Right now neither choice is right for me, so I guess I have to choose nothing."
"Okay!" screamed the girl, "If that's how it's going to be, then goodbye Izzy." I could hear her beginning to cry. "Look, I just wanted to be a good girlfriend. I'm sorry if that's not good enough for you. There's only so much I can give." And with that, I watched a tall blonde girl dash from the room where I'd been standing, but not before slapping my friend hard across the face. Normally I would have said something, but I got this feeling that she'd the right.
I was shocked. I didn't understand at all. What was going on? Izzy knew how to handle any situation. He was good with those things. But here he was acting. strange. Selfish. And for some strange reason I was outraged.
I looked at him in awe as he rubbed his sore cheek, "Kari," he began weakly, "I can explain the situation."
"I don't want you to. I came for some advice. Maybe it's a bad time. I'll talk to you later." I turned around trying to hide my anger, but he grabbed me by the arm, and looked me straight in the eye. I saw pain and sadness reflecting there, and I softened.
"Wait. I really need a friend right now." And soon enough I was sitting on the floor of his dorm room spilling my heart out.
"And I really don't want to forgive him." I finished, feeling very silly bringing my problems to the spotlight when Izzy was the one who clearly needed to get something off his chest. But he hadn't really wanted to talk.
"It's because you think it might happen again. But I don't think it will, Kar. You are the fourth leaf to his clover. He was hurt, don't hurt him and I don't think history will repeat itself. Exclusivity is hard, Kar. Look at you two, miles away and you're making it, it's a struggle, but you're doing it all right. Look at me and Lin, we live in the same building, for crying out loud, and we can't do it. You two are in love. And." Izzy began to cry, "I've never been in love."
I must have looked terribly confused because he spoke up, "You follow your heart, Kar, that's good. I never have. Just follow your heart, what does it tell you to do?"
And so I leaned over and gave him a kiss.
~*~
~*~
~*~
Oh. My god. I just did that, yes I did. But it's not like it means anything with my Takari inclination.
But if it irks you so, or tickles you the best thing to do is just review.
Voices: This is new. Yay.
FLF: Newness rocks.
Voices: So what's new with you?
FLF: An A in math, you best believe
Disclaimer: I don't own the Digidestined, but the rest of the story is pretty much mine. I think? Dunno. It feels like mine, but then so does this computer and we've had that debate.
Voices: Yes, yes we have fur.
~*~
~*~
~*~
TK's POV
I was completely confused by the letter that I held in my hand. Why would Kari send me this? What was she talking about? I read the words one more time.
So TK, who's the girl?
-Kari
~*~
Kari's POV
I was astounded that I hadn't noticed it before, how blind I'd been! "The things we've done, the people we've kissed." TK had said. Well I'd come clean, but he surely hadn't. He'd been right, it was time to move on, but you can't move on from something you'd never known. I couldn't believe he'd cheated and never told me. But then. what proof did I have? Maybe he wasn't cheating and I'd just jumped to conclusions as quickly as I'd jumped out of Izzy's room that night. Words had raced through my head, begging to be heard, written, read.
I regretted the bluntness of the letter; it must have given TK some jolt if he hadn't actually done what I thought. But I felt so sure, remembering the way he'd spoken to me. I frowned, I didn't even know if I was angry. I was so confused. I climbed up into my bed and fell asleep.
The next day classes begun, I was glad to have some time to just paint what I felt so 'freedom of the brush' was even nicer than usual for me. Afterward I felt a little better, enough that I could work up the courage to check my mail. Before I'd been too afraid, not wanting to read anything I'd get from TK. I walked up to the main office where the students had their post boxes and emptied mine into my hand. Sure enough, there was a letter from TK. My heart throbbed. I couldn't wait to open it, yet I dreaded it with my whole heart. I began to tear at the edges as I felt a tap on my shoulder. I took a deep breath and turned around.
"Kari?" Ben asked sheepishly as he saw my frustrated expression.
"Yes?" I replied, biting my lower lip.
"Look I just wanted to let you know." He began, looking me straight in the eye and speaking gently, "that I'm not mad and I don't think you're crazy. I know it wasn't your fault that you hurt me. And I think I'm ready to be your friend."
I smiled up at him, almost forgetting the letter, "Thanks. You know, your friendship means a lot to me."
"I'm glad," He spoke, he looked me over and his voice was lined with genuine worry, "Are you alright?"
"Sure." I replied, but his expression didn't change. "No, you know what? Actually, I'm not alright."
"Do you. wanna talk about it?" He asked. I nodded and led him to my room. I opened the door to find a note from Kaori, which said that she'd be playing basketball in the gym right now, but if I needed to talk about anything I could catch her at dinner. I sighed and climbed up to my top bunk, motioning for Ben to follow. He looked uncomfortable as he sat there with me, but I reassured him that this was normal- we were friends.
"So what is it?" he asked, watching me with concern
"It's this." I said holding up the letter, "When I went back home for break my boyfriend TK and I had the best time. Do you remember," I shifted uncomfortably, "When I told you off in the hallway that day? Well Kaori recorded what I said and sent it to him. So when I came home he'd forgiven me. Everything was just perfect, it was fun and exciting. we were at an apex, you know? Things couldn't get better, they could only get worse."
"And that's when my brother came to deliver a pizza."
"Yes. I felt so bad that I snapped to reality, like I'd been on some sort of cloud. And once I fell off I just couldn't get back on. When I got here I was. confused and lost. Something in the back of my mind had been torturing me and I'd just kept pushing it back. You know how that is?"
"Yeah,"
"And I saw you and you looked. Tortured. I don't know why, I think maybe that's self important of me to say, but you did. And I finally let this little thing at the back of my mind creep to the forefront. And I needed comfort. and so I ran to you, but I took you for granted and you sent me away and. That night I wrote two letters. You got yours, and now you're here. And TK got his. And this is his response."
"I think you left something out. You never told me what was at the back of your mind." He began; I could tell he was excited, wondering if maybe I'd been harboring feelings for him. I sighed.
"Oh. Right. Well, I guess that's even the most important part." I started again, clearing my throat. "Right when I got back and he ran up to greet me, I went to apologize. He cut me off though, and he said something along the lines of 'it doesn't matter who we kissed because we're together now'. And I realized that he was hiding something from me. I didn't mean to overreact. But it's really hard to own up to your actions, you know?"
"Yeah."
"And I had. Completely. I never denied that I. enjoyed the kiss." I began, blushing and finding myself unable to meet his gaze, "I never denied that I kissed you back. I never blamed it on you or any of the other things that I could have done to make the ordeal easier for me. I told him the whole entire truth. And he didn't tell me any of it." I was beginning to get upset, and he could tell.
"Shhh. It's alright to be upset, Kari, I know this has been hard for you, but maybe. Maybe you're jumping to conclusions."
"Well that's what I'm about to find out." I said as I tore open the letter, heart pounding like crazy, head spinning, Ben took my hand as I read what it said.
Dear Kari,
Her name is Marie. I swear it's not like you think. She's not a boy snatcher. She's sweet and kind and. she had a crush on me. It was innocent and pure like your Ben. And so we became friends and when I got that letter from Davis and when I saw what happened on TV. She was there for me. And she hugged me and told me that everything would be okay. I don't know. it was comfort, free and simple. We kissed maybe twice. No more. I don't know why I didn't tell you about her. I guess things were finally going just right with us and I didn't want to change them. I'm sorry. I feel terrible. And she's a wreck. She doesn't want to cause trouble. I told her that there would be no trouble. I hope that I'm right, Kari.
Love always,
TK
I looked up at Ben, frowning, "What do I do with this?" I cried
"You forgive him." He replied, "He forgave you. He just wants things to be right, so forgive him."
I was moved by Ben's words: after all of this I'd made a true friend. He was selfless with his advice, I could tell that he didn't want to say these words, but knew that they were the proper advice. I knew that they were the proper advice. But that didn't matter. "I don't. I don't want to. I don't want to forgive him." I whispered.
"Then take some time to calm down."
"That sounds like a good idea. I just need to talk this out."
"Listen, this is just my advice, you have to deal with it however you see fit. The last decision is yours. But I'm always here to help" He said. I smiled sadly at him.
"Thank you, but I think I've talked you out for now. I'll see you at dinner in a little while."
"Alright," He said climbing down from the top bunk, "Goodbye, Kari."
"Bye," I said, giggling slightly as Kaori burst through the door, sweaty and flushed, bumping into Ben. Kaori was terribly embarrassed as she apologized, but Ben just smiled and walked out the door.
~*~
After Ben left, I gave Kaori the letter to read. After she was finished she said that she needed to think before dispensing any thought gems. So I told her to go take a shower. I said that we could talk after dinner.
I walked down the hall with the letter crumpled in my pocket. I felt slightly like a cancer patient taking as many opinions as I could because I wasn't really ready to see the truth. I stood at Izzy's door, wanting more than anything to hear his calm voice smooth through all of my problems like a comb. But instead I stopped to listen to voices through the walls.
"What is it with you, lately? You never had problems with exclusivity before, now all the sudden it's every time we talk, or kiss or are even near each other, God, Izzy make up your mind, what do you want us to be?" Yelled a female voice
"I want us to be. both?" I heard Izzy reply weakly
"We can't be both. Look Damnit, as far as I see it, either we are or we're not. I don't even know if I want to be a part of this anymore. I won't just be your booty call at three in the morning, because you drag emotion into it. And I can't just be your girlfriend because you can't make up your mind. So choose, Izzy. Relationships need order and definition to survive, so what are we?"
"Why can't we be both?"
"It's one or nothing." She said firmly.
"Fine." He replied, still calm
"Fine. So what will it be?"
"Right now neither choice is right for me, so I guess I have to choose nothing."
"Okay!" screamed the girl, "If that's how it's going to be, then goodbye Izzy." I could hear her beginning to cry. "Look, I just wanted to be a good girlfriend. I'm sorry if that's not good enough for you. There's only so much I can give." And with that, I watched a tall blonde girl dash from the room where I'd been standing, but not before slapping my friend hard across the face. Normally I would have said something, but I got this feeling that she'd the right.
I was shocked. I didn't understand at all. What was going on? Izzy knew how to handle any situation. He was good with those things. But here he was acting. strange. Selfish. And for some strange reason I was outraged.
I looked at him in awe as he rubbed his sore cheek, "Kari," he began weakly, "I can explain the situation."
"I don't want you to. I came for some advice. Maybe it's a bad time. I'll talk to you later." I turned around trying to hide my anger, but he grabbed me by the arm, and looked me straight in the eye. I saw pain and sadness reflecting there, and I softened.
"Wait. I really need a friend right now." And soon enough I was sitting on the floor of his dorm room spilling my heart out.
"And I really don't want to forgive him." I finished, feeling very silly bringing my problems to the spotlight when Izzy was the one who clearly needed to get something off his chest. But he hadn't really wanted to talk.
"It's because you think it might happen again. But I don't think it will, Kar. You are the fourth leaf to his clover. He was hurt, don't hurt him and I don't think history will repeat itself. Exclusivity is hard, Kar. Look at you two, miles away and you're making it, it's a struggle, but you're doing it all right. Look at me and Lin, we live in the same building, for crying out loud, and we can't do it. You two are in love. And." Izzy began to cry, "I've never been in love."
I must have looked terribly confused because he spoke up, "You follow your heart, Kar, that's good. I never have. Just follow your heart, what does it tell you to do?"
And so I leaned over and gave him a kiss.
~*~
~*~
~*~
Oh. My god. I just did that, yes I did. But it's not like it means anything with my Takari inclination.
But if it irks you so, or tickles you the best thing to do is just review.