FLF: here's chapter 7.
Voices: 7. What a big number. I don't know how people can actually read seven chapters of this fic.
FLF: It's nice when they review though. Wink. Wink.
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or any of its characters. But I'm thinking maybe I could own some of their angst.
~*~
Izzy's POV
I couldn't even begin to deal with all of the emotions whizzing through my head and heart before Kari had kissed me. Needless to say the kiss messed me up even more. What on earth did she think she was doing? I wanted to ask her. . . but then, it wasn't every day that a pretty girl like Kari surprised me with kisses, so I didn't pull away. Pretty girls like Kari normally go after hot jocks like TK. TK. . . What kind of friend was I? I was letting him down. I was letting Kari down. And then my mind wandered back a half an hour to the other beautiful girl I'd let down. . . The typical teenage male in me didn't want to pull away, but my own ethics overcame and I managed to do so.
I clutched Kari's shoulders with my cold shaking hands, she looked up at me through tear glazed eyes, clearly terrified. I let her go, and she fell to a lump on the floor. We just sort of sat there for a while, lost in our own little worlds of thought.
"Kari?" I asked gently, lifting her chin with my index finger so that her puffy red eyes met with mine.
"Yes." she whispered in reply
"That wasn't what your heart told you to do, was it?"
"I thought."
"Thinking is with your head, Kari. I mean really. . . Really Kari. Tell the truth. Did that. . . that kiss. . . Did it feel right to you?"
She paused for a moment gauging whether or not she was about to hurt my feelings, eventually deciding that it didn't matter.
"No, it was wrong, Izz. You know it was wrong." Her voice stopped and she looked up at me, I must have looked slightly disappointed, and amidst my confusion maybe I was, because then she said, giving me a very slight sheepish smile, "But just because it didn't feel right. . . didn't mean that it was bad."
I laughed gently, "Oh, Kari. What am I going to do with you?" I took her hand into mine and began to play with her fingers like she was a little child. I pulled her close to me and whispered, "I won't tell anyone if you don't want me too, we can let this whole thing be a secret."
Kari looked thoughtful for a moment, I was surprised that she was actually considering this, but I was not at all shocked when she gave me a cold flat, "No. TK's gotta know what's going on." That was the Kari I knew talking. She was back.
"Alright," I whispered softly, "But maybe. . . Maybe we could hold off telling Tai?"
"Oh yeah, Tai's gonna kick your ass!" Kari was laughing, but I didn't think it was all that much of a laughing matter.
"Well what are you going to tell TK?" I snapped. Kari's giggle fit stopped immediately. I felt bad, it was kinda nice to hear her laughing.
"The truth I guess." She replied shakily.
"What is the truth Kari? I'm dying to know. Why did you kiss me?"
And I looked into her trembling amber eyes and she cut away from my gaze and ran out the door. I sighed as I picked up the phone to call the first girl who'd run out of my room that day. I frowned. All these ins and outs and ups and downs were making me dizzy. I began to laugh, Dizzy Izzy. How had I not seen that before? But I was soon sobered as I heard the person on the other end speak "Hello." And I found myself too confused to reply.
~*~
Kari's POV
What was I going to tell TK? Why had I kissed Izzy? Why hadn't I just written "I forgive you, TK" even if I hadn't meant it? Why did I have to drag this messed up soap opera on and on? I decided that I just needed to think by myself for a while.
Dear TK. I took the paper into my hands and tossed it over my shoulder.
I had begun the letters two hours ago. But this was all I'd written. Drafts and drafts lay crumpled on the floor. Dear Takeru. Dear Teeks, Dear Keru, Dear Tiki, Dear my dear, Dear Takeru, love . . . This was as far as I'd gotten and about as far as I thought I would get that night. I didn't want this right now. I wanted someone to hug me and kiss me and tell me everything was alright. Yes, I thought to myself, that was exactly what I needed! That was exactly what I'd always needed! Ever since my journey to the dark ocean when I'd suddenly seen the reason to stop bottling I'd run to TK's arms. . .
I picked up the pen.
~*~
TK's POV
I couldn't wait to get out of school that day. Today would be the day; I could feel it in my bones. Today I'd get a letter from Kari. I just wondered what it would say. As the bell rang for last period I was first out the door. I didn't bother to get the homework, I just ran home. I climbed the stairs to my apartment, the elevator wasn't coming quick enough. I walked inside and looked onto the table. Sure enough in a pretty pink pen I saw an envelope with my name on it.
Dear TK,
I love you. You know that, don't you? God, TK. If I could be anywhere right now it would be in your arms. Do you remember, well I guess it's kinda hard to forget, when I used to get stuck in the dark ocean? It was because I used to bottle things. Well after that I was very forthright about my feelings. Remember how I always used to come to you? And you'd hold me in your arms and tell me what I should do. Remember that? Well, I do. Everything is on a whole new level now, TK. Love adds depth to pain.
Do you know how hard it was for me to stop bottling? It was damn near impossible! But I did, I stopped bottling. I told you EVERYTHING. I came clean about EVERYTHING. Even things about Ben. I owned up to my actions. And when I found out that you hadn't, oh God. I was so furious! Because you probably would never have told me. I understand why, I do now, but I was just hysterical then. And what do I do when I'm upset? I run to you, you hold me close and tell me what to do.
But you weren't there. And this ran too deep for a hug and an advising. So I kissed Izzy. There. I came clean again. I'm sorry TK. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. If I could take it back, I would. I love YOU TK. It was a moment and I thought it was the right thing to do. But it wasn't, I was just confused. I think. . . I think I wanted you to feel that pain too. And that was very selfish of me, TK. And I'm sorry. I forgive you a million times over. I forgive you forever. But please, you just gotta forgive me! Now that I'm thinking straight all I wanna do is put the past in the past and move on together.
Can we try?
Love always,
Hikari Kamiya.
~*~
Kari's POV
My fingers were trembling and icy. I looked up at the ceiling, knowing full well that I had to open this letter, but I didn't want to. I wanted to leave it with me doing the right thing, and that being it. But I did what had to be done.
Dear Kari,
This is all so ridiculous! Honestly, if I knew that it would be this difficult to be with you, I would have never fallen for you in the first place. But I did, and I fell too hard. So Kari, yes, I understand what it's like to be confused.
Kari, I'm not mad at you. I love you way too much. And I think that every last bit of this mess has been cleaned up and gone over again. I don't think I could be mad! So let's just move forward, how does that sound? Good? I know. I think it's time we had some real clean happiness again.
As for Izzy. . . I don't think I know exactly what to say. Maybe I'll just let it be that he has good taste. I'm so tired of anger, I think I'll let Tai whoop his ass for me. Make him a very Dizzy Izzy.
Love you always,
TK
PS: I've got a very special surprise for you on the 13th! Wait for it!
I smiled and read the letter again. This was all too easy, I thought, but then again, this had been way too difficult for way too long, so thank God it was easy now! All I could wonder was what was happening on the 13th. . . And whether I could persuade Tai that I had been the one kissing Izzy.
But that all seemed so easy now that TK and I were cool again. He had that calming effect. It was just one of the many things I loved about him.
~*~
~*~
~*~
I fixed it! Yay. Review and show your appreciation to me! haha.
Voices: 7. What a big number. I don't know how people can actually read seven chapters of this fic.
FLF: It's nice when they review though. Wink. Wink.
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or any of its characters. But I'm thinking maybe I could own some of their angst.
~*~
Izzy's POV
I couldn't even begin to deal with all of the emotions whizzing through my head and heart before Kari had kissed me. Needless to say the kiss messed me up even more. What on earth did she think she was doing? I wanted to ask her. . . but then, it wasn't every day that a pretty girl like Kari surprised me with kisses, so I didn't pull away. Pretty girls like Kari normally go after hot jocks like TK. TK. . . What kind of friend was I? I was letting him down. I was letting Kari down. And then my mind wandered back a half an hour to the other beautiful girl I'd let down. . . The typical teenage male in me didn't want to pull away, but my own ethics overcame and I managed to do so.
I clutched Kari's shoulders with my cold shaking hands, she looked up at me through tear glazed eyes, clearly terrified. I let her go, and she fell to a lump on the floor. We just sort of sat there for a while, lost in our own little worlds of thought.
"Kari?" I asked gently, lifting her chin with my index finger so that her puffy red eyes met with mine.
"Yes." she whispered in reply
"That wasn't what your heart told you to do, was it?"
"I thought."
"Thinking is with your head, Kari. I mean really. . . Really Kari. Tell the truth. Did that. . . that kiss. . . Did it feel right to you?"
She paused for a moment gauging whether or not she was about to hurt my feelings, eventually deciding that it didn't matter.
"No, it was wrong, Izz. You know it was wrong." Her voice stopped and she looked up at me, I must have looked slightly disappointed, and amidst my confusion maybe I was, because then she said, giving me a very slight sheepish smile, "But just because it didn't feel right. . . didn't mean that it was bad."
I laughed gently, "Oh, Kari. What am I going to do with you?" I took her hand into mine and began to play with her fingers like she was a little child. I pulled her close to me and whispered, "I won't tell anyone if you don't want me too, we can let this whole thing be a secret."
Kari looked thoughtful for a moment, I was surprised that she was actually considering this, but I was not at all shocked when she gave me a cold flat, "No. TK's gotta know what's going on." That was the Kari I knew talking. She was back.
"Alright," I whispered softly, "But maybe. . . Maybe we could hold off telling Tai?"
"Oh yeah, Tai's gonna kick your ass!" Kari was laughing, but I didn't think it was all that much of a laughing matter.
"Well what are you going to tell TK?" I snapped. Kari's giggle fit stopped immediately. I felt bad, it was kinda nice to hear her laughing.
"The truth I guess." She replied shakily.
"What is the truth Kari? I'm dying to know. Why did you kiss me?"
And I looked into her trembling amber eyes and she cut away from my gaze and ran out the door. I sighed as I picked up the phone to call the first girl who'd run out of my room that day. I frowned. All these ins and outs and ups and downs were making me dizzy. I began to laugh, Dizzy Izzy. How had I not seen that before? But I was soon sobered as I heard the person on the other end speak "Hello." And I found myself too confused to reply.
~*~
Kari's POV
What was I going to tell TK? Why had I kissed Izzy? Why hadn't I just written "I forgive you, TK" even if I hadn't meant it? Why did I have to drag this messed up soap opera on and on? I decided that I just needed to think by myself for a while.
Dear TK. I took the paper into my hands and tossed it over my shoulder.
I had begun the letters two hours ago. But this was all I'd written. Drafts and drafts lay crumpled on the floor. Dear Takeru. Dear Teeks, Dear Keru, Dear Tiki, Dear my dear, Dear Takeru, love . . . This was as far as I'd gotten and about as far as I thought I would get that night. I didn't want this right now. I wanted someone to hug me and kiss me and tell me everything was alright. Yes, I thought to myself, that was exactly what I needed! That was exactly what I'd always needed! Ever since my journey to the dark ocean when I'd suddenly seen the reason to stop bottling I'd run to TK's arms. . .
I picked up the pen.
~*~
TK's POV
I couldn't wait to get out of school that day. Today would be the day; I could feel it in my bones. Today I'd get a letter from Kari. I just wondered what it would say. As the bell rang for last period I was first out the door. I didn't bother to get the homework, I just ran home. I climbed the stairs to my apartment, the elevator wasn't coming quick enough. I walked inside and looked onto the table. Sure enough in a pretty pink pen I saw an envelope with my name on it.
Dear TK,
I love you. You know that, don't you? God, TK. If I could be anywhere right now it would be in your arms. Do you remember, well I guess it's kinda hard to forget, when I used to get stuck in the dark ocean? It was because I used to bottle things. Well after that I was very forthright about my feelings. Remember how I always used to come to you? And you'd hold me in your arms and tell me what I should do. Remember that? Well, I do. Everything is on a whole new level now, TK. Love adds depth to pain.
Do you know how hard it was for me to stop bottling? It was damn near impossible! But I did, I stopped bottling. I told you EVERYTHING. I came clean about EVERYTHING. Even things about Ben. I owned up to my actions. And when I found out that you hadn't, oh God. I was so furious! Because you probably would never have told me. I understand why, I do now, but I was just hysterical then. And what do I do when I'm upset? I run to you, you hold me close and tell me what to do.
But you weren't there. And this ran too deep for a hug and an advising. So I kissed Izzy. There. I came clean again. I'm sorry TK. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. If I could take it back, I would. I love YOU TK. It was a moment and I thought it was the right thing to do. But it wasn't, I was just confused. I think. . . I think I wanted you to feel that pain too. And that was very selfish of me, TK. And I'm sorry. I forgive you a million times over. I forgive you forever. But please, you just gotta forgive me! Now that I'm thinking straight all I wanna do is put the past in the past and move on together.
Can we try?
Love always,
Hikari Kamiya.
~*~
Kari's POV
My fingers were trembling and icy. I looked up at the ceiling, knowing full well that I had to open this letter, but I didn't want to. I wanted to leave it with me doing the right thing, and that being it. But I did what had to be done.
Dear Kari,
This is all so ridiculous! Honestly, if I knew that it would be this difficult to be with you, I would have never fallen for you in the first place. But I did, and I fell too hard. So Kari, yes, I understand what it's like to be confused.
Kari, I'm not mad at you. I love you way too much. And I think that every last bit of this mess has been cleaned up and gone over again. I don't think I could be mad! So let's just move forward, how does that sound? Good? I know. I think it's time we had some real clean happiness again.
As for Izzy. . . I don't think I know exactly what to say. Maybe I'll just let it be that he has good taste. I'm so tired of anger, I think I'll let Tai whoop his ass for me. Make him a very Dizzy Izzy.
Love you always,
TK
PS: I've got a very special surprise for you on the 13th! Wait for it!
I smiled and read the letter again. This was all too easy, I thought, but then again, this had been way too difficult for way too long, so thank God it was easy now! All I could wonder was what was happening on the 13th. . . And whether I could persuade Tai that I had been the one kissing Izzy.
But that all seemed so easy now that TK and I were cool again. He had that calming effect. It was just one of the many things I loved about him.
~*~
~*~
~*~
I fixed it! Yay. Review and show your appreciation to me! haha.