vbTorment of ParadiseuChapter 16pJess sat at the table, taking out her knife carefully before she started to sharpen it. The soft ring of steel filled her ears as she watched the gleam of the metal in the light from the lamp. Every once in a while she would glance up to see Treize working away at his desk, apparently unperturbed by her presence in the room.
i'At least it's nice and quiet in here.'/i She tilted her head to the side, making the glint shift with her. i'How many more hours until we have to go out there to the crowd?'/i A glance up at the clock told her it was twelve in the afternoon. 'Half an hour to go…wonderful.' She rose, sheathing back the sharpened blade.
p"Treize," she said. 'you should be leaving now; it's almost time for your speech."
pHe glanced up at the clock before pushing aside the papers and rising. "It would appear so Miss Jessica."
pShe walked to the door, holding it open for him, following after him silently.
p"There you are Your Excellency." Une's silky voice reached her. "I was starting to think that perhaps you may have forgotten about your speech to the people today."
p"No I have not Lady Une." he replied graciously. "In fact I am on my way right now. So if you shall allow me to pass…"
pShe stepped aside with a small bow, leaving his way free. Jess slid Une a narrow glace as she passed by; she saw the light in Une's eyes that had died out once Treize had passed her. 'Murderous intent almost…' she chewed her lower lip nervously.
pA few minutes later, they were in the car, heading towards the Brava Vida Hotel. Feeling the anxiety grow stronger, Jess began to recheck her weapons.
p"This is the fifth time you've done that today." Treize said with light tone. "Is something troubling you?"
p"No Treize." she murmured, not really hearing the question. "Nothing at all."
pHe looked at her before he chuckled slightly. "How you remind me of my dragon…"
p"Pardon?" she glanced up at him puzzled momentarily. "Did you say something?"
pHe shook his head, gazing out of the window. "Your actions betray you Miss Jessica. You know something is going to happen as well as I do."
p"Then jolly good for you Treize." she put the gun back in its holster. "Anything can happen at an event of this size and magnitude." she took out another dagger and began to check it over, testing the edge.
p"Yes, I know that." he paused. "Some things happen for the better or the worse. It's all dependant on how we interact with one another."
p"Hm." she replied, resting the flat against her fingers. "For every action, there is a reaction…"
p"Exactly. Who knows what the reaction will be to my speech today…perhaps someone will try to kill me before I can deliver it, perhaps not."
p"Roulette." she murmured, sheathing back the blade. "So many chances…"
p"May I use you as an example?" he asked. He closed his eyes as she gave a curt nod in acknowledgement. "You're a Gundam pilot correct?"
p"No shit Einstein." she muttered slightly cross; she didn't like where this was headed already.
pA slightly displeased look crossed his face before he continued. "Have you made choices you felt to be wrong or right; have they ever been clear cut or mixed? Have you ever experienced indecision on the battlefield?"
pJess remained silent for a few minutes. "I go through the same things as everyone else, just on a more different level. We all face indecision, doubt, ineptitude-"
p"Fear of rejection perhaps?"
p"That as well." she fell silent momentarily. "But that is the path of the solider, of the warrior. No one expects to find companionship along its rocky road, in any form really. Maybe no one wants to…"
p"Really?" he looked at her rather fixedly. "And what if you found it Miss Jessica; what then? Would you still want it?"
pShe shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm not the person to be asking about companionship Treize. My outlook on life is far from rosy. So very far…I think I may be too…cynical sometimes to ever find someone."
p"Quel dommage[1]." he murmured softly.
p"If it wasn't for that tone in you voice I'd accuse you of mocking me." she muttered. "The way things go in my life, it's better to not become too involved with someone." 'And I even screwed up my own philosophy damn it.'
p"Perhaps you should drop the cynicism and try to be yourself once in a while. Maybe you'll find that fate is all in your head."
p"Drawing on experience from your 'dragon' a bit there?"
pJess blinked in surprise as a slight flush spread across Treize's face. She hadn't expected to hit something in him in a million years…
p"One…could say that." he replied after clearing his throat.
p"Hn. If there's one thing I've heard Treize, it's that you shouldn't drop your guard like that. But my life taught me to never drop my guard; at any given time."
p"So you're forever defensive; how can you live like that?"
p"Quite easily." she replied shortly. 'One develops a complex mask to hide themselves. A complex and steely mask albeit.'
p"I see it as a shame how you exist in the world then. With so much around you to experience and you're so young as well…"
p"What? Cause I act all cold?"
pA sad sort of light came into Treize's eyes. "Because you are trapped within yourself."
pJess didn't respond, simply meeting his gaze for a few minutes before she turned to look out the window. 'He doesn't know what it was like for me growing up; he can't pass judgment on me like that…' But try as she might to ignore or not acknowledge them, deep down inside she knew there was a truth to Treize's words that she could never change.
pThe rest of the car ride was silent as neither spoke again. Even when the car pulled up into the hotel driveway in the back of the building, they never uttered a single word, walking into the building in complete silence.
pJess glanced up in time to see a small redheaded girl come barreling towards Treize. He picked her up with a laughing smile before hugging her.
p"How have you been Maimai?" he asked. "Been behaving for your mother I hope?"
p"Oh yes she has; despite the shuttle ride here." a woman said as she walked up. "Is this your bodyguard?"
p"Yes. Leia, Miss Jessica. Miss Jessica, my wife Leia."
p"A pleasure to meet you." Jess said offering her hand. "I gather that's your daughter?"
that's our little Maimai. Very energetic; all throughout the flight she kept going and talking to people. Not that they talked to her much." Leia replied.
p"A shame. They would ignore a child?"
p"Most of them; only one person talked to her. Nice young man by the name of Beckett. He was busy but he took the time."
p"Nice to see there's some kind people left in the world…" she murmured softly. "If you excuse me Mrs. Khushrenada, I'll have to take away your husband now."
p"No problem. Come along Maimai, we'll find good spots for daddy's speech." Leia took her from Treize. "I'd say you're in good hands dear. We'll see you afterwards."
pJess watched as Leia and Maimai walked away before she looked back at Treize. "Your wife huh?"
p"So who's the dragon; a friend?"
pTreize looked at her. "Are you implying something here?"
p"You tell me. If I am so cold, wouldn't it give me a sort of objectivity, so to speak?" she asked sliding on a pair of shades.
p"Hm. Perhaps too much for your own good." he murmured before he started down the hall.
p"Say what you want. But since I have no idea of the full situation I won't pass any opinions on you Treize." she replied falling in step beside him.
p"How very generous of you Miss Jessica." he replied in a slightly mocking tone of voice.
pJess simply smirked as they walked down the guarded hallway, heading for the podium outside. 'Never would have pegged him as a man to have an affair.' She schooled her face into a stoic expression as they walked outside into the bright sunlight. The cameras flashed with their bright bulbs, blinding to the unprotected eye, the live cameras swinging round to catch them. 'How glad I am I remembered the last time and got these.' Treize walked up to the podium amidst a cheering crowd while Jess took her spot just behind him, eyes, scanning the crowd for the first sign of trouble.
p"Well well…" she murmured under her breath seeing some figures in the crowd.
pThere was Lara and Zechs in plain clothes, blending into the crowd seamlessly; she almost overlooked them. Behind them off to the side, was Samuel in the same guise, only talking into a walkie-talkie. 'Hmph. He's in charge of security? That's gonna go to pot; he'll mess that up in a second.'
pAs Treize started his speech, the large crowd hushed, silence spreading all around. His words passed in and out of Jess' ears though; she couldn't afford to listen to him and have something slip her notice. The crowd ate up everything Treize had to offer, the faces turning serious and contemplative of what he was saying to them. Her eyes shifted up to the building tops, looking for any foreign shapes there. Finding nothing, she went back down to another sweep of the crowd. The anxiousness inside intensified sharply without warning, causing her to shift slightly. She looked around the crowd again; nothing.
p"Shit." she cursed, seeing a figure up on the roof of a building crouched down over something.
pThe faint gleam of a lens caught the sunlight as Jess whipped out her own gun and fired making the crowd shift suddenly as they realized something was wrong. Amongst the screams and fleeing people, she saw the figure go down, with a sharp satisfying jerk. Her eyes casted around the rooftops, spying one more figure that she felled just as quickly. Then she spotted another directly behind Treize, causing her to stand up and point dead at it. Just as she was about to pull the trigger, a heavy person tackled her down the steps and to the ground.
p"What the hell?! Let me go!!" she struggled against the person violently; she could have sworn she heard another gun shot in the noise. "Treize needs- "
p"You aren't going anywhere…traitor."
pHer entire body froze at the sound of Samuel's voice for a split second before she resumed her struggles to push him off of her. "Let me go you baka, someone's trying to kill Treize!! Don't you know what that means?!"
p"I know exactly what it means bitch." he growled. "Let it happen."
pHer eyes widened in shock as the realization sank in. "Oh my God…it's you…you're trying to-"
pHe pressed a hand over her mouth, effectively silencing her. "And we'll succeed this time…with no interference from you or anyone else."
pStill muffling her mouth, he dragged her away to an alleyway in the general chaos that still ensued. She bit down savagely on his hand making him yelp and draw it away quickly. She drew away quickly but he yanked her back hard, her body slamming against the brick wall before he slapped her hard across the face once.
p"Don't you dare hit me; haven't you learned that by now. Or do you need another lesson?"
p"Ass! When will you learn?" she snarled.
pHis hand closed around her throat as he looked at her with a strange gleam in his eyes. Immediately her mind screamed at her to get out of there but it appeared that Samuel would have none of it.
p"Maybe, it's time you finally learned just what I can do to you 'dear'." he said the last word mockingly. "What we never did on our wedding night…"
p"You wouldn't…" she whispered. "You wouldn't dare…"
p"Are you scared?" he grasped the neckline of her shirt. "You should be."
pJess' scream mingled with the others as another gun report echoed out over the crowd. She tried to punch Samuel with her fist but he caught it with a sadistic smirk.
p"Not very ladylike." he said with a cluck of his tongue.
p"And what makes you a man?" she hissed back, her struggles borne from fear now.
pHer upper chest felt cold from where he'd ripped the material of her shirt away, exposing her thin lacy bra. The look in his eyes never left, but only intensified making her fight harder.
p"Perhaps I should have done this sooner; then you wouldn't be so defiant now." he murmured, hand trailing down to her chest heavily.
p"Stop Samuel, I don't want you to do this to me." she pleaded, voice faltering as she realized a nightmare was about to become reality. "Please, stop this…"
p"Too late." he said, fingers digging in viciously into her breast.
pTears sprang to her eyes, but she refused to shed them and let him win. She ignored the pain he caused and continued fighting until he slapped her again, the lining of her cheek shredding against her teeth. She managed to punch him in the face again, until he drove a knee into her stomach. Breathless, she slid to the ground along the wall before sprawling to the dirty asphalt to catch her breath, unable to defend herself any more.
p"Oh God no…" she managed to whisper as he jumped on top of her.
pShe fended him off weakly, stomach still protesting against his last attack. She felt the last of her shirt being ripped away then his hands were on her bra before a voice stopped him.
p"Take your hands off of her."
pManaging to pull her herself to the side, she saw an unfamiliar figure standing before Samuel. i'Lord…somebody else sees my humiliation…'p"And just what are you going to do about it?" Samuel sneered, picking himself up and standing before the black haired guy.
p"I'll beat you up again. And much worse this time." came the tight response.
p"Again? Ha, I've never seen you before in my life, you moron."
p"Let' see if you remember this then."
pJess managed to pick herself up watching as the guy launched himself at Samuel. "This guy…he looks…familiar…" she watched as he beat Samuel to a pulp before finally stopping.
p"Are you all right Jess?" he asked, standing up and looking at her.
pShe stepped forward slowly, unsure of what she was seeing. "Quatre…is…that you?"
it's me." he reached forward and closed her jacket. "Sorry if you didn't recognize me. I didn't want him to." he motioned towards Samuel. "Let's get out of here while they're still confused."
pShe nodded her head as they disappeared down the opposite end of the alleyway, onto the other main street, free from the chaos on the other.
p"Quatre?" she asked in a quiet whisper.
p"Yes Jess?"
p"Please…don't tell anyone what you saw."
pHe looked down in to her eyes for a few moments before he pulled her close. "All right Jess…I won't. I'll take you back to your parents all right? Duo's there with them. He'll look out for you…until you get back on your feet."
p"Thank you Quatre." she sighed, leaning into him.
pHe paused for a moment, thinking over her words. "I said I'll never leave you."
pA feeling of dread settled in her stomach as she stood before her parents' door. What could she possibly say this time around?
p"Jess…are you OK?"
p"Yeah…I'm fine Quatre…just…I'm fine." she replied in a hesitant voice.
p"Hey…it'll be all right, don't worry; I'll stay if you want me too."
pShe gave him a smile before she reached out with a trembling hand to knock on the door. Quatre stilled her hand with his own as he knocked for her. She fell silent, as he let their hands fall. Her heart started to pound as he still held hers gently in his. She glanced at him meeting his aqua green eyes before she gave a shaky sort of smile. He gave her hand a gentle reassuring squeeze as the door opened slowly.
pStanding in the doorway was Noel, intimidating as ever with his height. She looked up at him. "Hi Papa. I was…in the neighborhood and I…I thought I'd drop in."
pNoel's eyes flickered to their linked hands, a frown forming in his face. "Uh huh; and who is this young man with you?"
p"Quatre Winner Sir." he said, offering his hand.
p"Quatre Winner huh?" there was a dry tone to Noel's voice as he shook it. "You certainly don't look like him."
p"I dyed my hair Sir."
p"Quatre, Jess." they looked behind Noel to see Duo standing in the hallway. "I think you two better come in here and see what's on the news."
pNoel stood aside so they could walk into the house. Jess led Quatre down the hallway to the living room, where Aiko and Adrian sat glued to the TV. There in the screen was the event that happened at Brava Vida. She saw herself, firing away at the unseen assailants until she finally went for the one right behind Treize before she was tackled to the ground, just as the assassin fired.
p"Oh my God…it looks like I shot Treize…" she whispered in horror.
p"Jess-chan!!" Aiko turned and rose quickly, going to hug her daughter tightly. "You're safe!! I was so worried about you!!"
p"I'm fine Mama." she replied wincing slightly. "Quatre here got me out of there in time."
p"Quatre?" she drew back puzzled. "This young man here?"
p"Yes. Not that it was easy to get back down here." she said softly.
p"I would imagine so Jessica. You do realize that you can't hide so easily now. It'll be even harder for you now than it was before." Noel said standing behind them.
p"That bastard knew…he set me up for the fall…it all makes sense now…that fu…damn bastard…" she cursed. "I swear I'll have his head for this one."
p"Jess-chan…do you mind me asking who?" Aiko asked.
p"Samuel." she said in a tight voice.
p"Samuel? Why on Earth would he do something like that to you?" Noel demanded. "Is there something you're not telling us Jessica?"
pShe fell silent, gathering up what little courage she had left now. "Yes, there is. Can we go and talk in the parlor…alone?"
p"Why do that?" Duo said, herding Adrian out of the living room. "Come on Quatre; let's see if we can find something to do in the meanwhile."
pJess flashed him a grateful look before she turned to her parents, nervousness running through her.
p"So what do you need to talk to us about?" Aiko asked seating herself on the couch again.
p"About Samuel…about that thing called a marriage." she said softly as she sat in the spot that Aiko was patting beside her.
p"What about it?" Noel asked seating himself beside her.
p"I…it…" she faltered, unsure of what to say.
p"Take your time Jessica and talk when you feel ready." Noel said with a gentle smile. "We'll listen to what you have to say in full."
pJess nodded her head. "You see…I never thought he would be like this at first…he was…civil and polite and nice…so when you said I was going to marry him; I thought it wouldn't be so bad…but…" she tightened her hands on her knees.
pFeeling a gentle touch on her shoulder, she found herself looking at Aiko's smiling face. All the things that she had wanted to say to them for so long came tumbling out in a rush. The initial fear and pain of loneliness, the fear of disappointing them, wanting to make them proud of her, wanting to be a daughter they could be proud of before it took a darker twist descending down rapidly into the tales of almost ritual abuse suffered from Samuel's hands. By the time he finished everything she had to say, her eyes, were red-rimmed and bloodshot from staying awake for so long, the clock that had once read nine p.m. now saying four a.m. The early morning room was filled with silence as Noel and Aiko sat there in shock, absorbing everything she had told them.
p"Jessica…why didn't you tell us this before?" Noel asked in a hushed voice.
pShe shrugged weakly. "I figured…that I could get away…get a divorce and then tell you…I never wanted to disappoint you guys. I...I only…I only wanted to-"
p"Jess-chan." Aiko hugged her tightly. "You've never disappointed us at all. Made us angry and worried yes, but you could never do that to us. We only wanted you to be you and happy; nothing more."
pJess sighed, blinking rapidly. "I know Mama…but I thought it would be better that way…you and Papa would see for yourself and…"
p"Jess…just how badly has he hurt you?"
pJess pulled down the neck of her shirt showing Noel the livid dark black and blue bruise on her upper collarbone. "It goes lower…but modesty prevents me from showing it to you."
p"How did he do that?" Noel's voice was tight with anger.
p"He slammed me into a wall." she paused hearing Aiko gasp. "And then he…then he…I'd rather not talk about it." she fell silent for a moment, not saying anything. "Mama…you said that you wanted me to be happy."
p"Yes…that's all we have ever wanted for you Jess-chan." Aiko stroked her hair gently. "My poor baby….you're never going back to him again."
p"Mama…can you tell me about my past? Like before you adopted me? Before I was brought here?" she looked expectantly at Aiko then Noel. 'I need to know myself at least before I can open up to others.'
pFor the first time she saw them hesitant to tell her something. They suddenly grew restless and unsure. She peered into their faces to see uncertainty lingering in their eyes.
p"All right then; why can't you tell me, since you don't seem to be very forthcoming in the direct department."
p"To be honest Jessica…we don't really know anything about your past before you came to us. You know that Duo brought you here to us right?" Noel replied with a weary sort of sigh.
p"Then I would say ask him." Noel rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Your mother and I have always wondered when you'd ask us this question; we figured when you'd be twenty or something…guess the time came sooner than expected."
p"Ask Duo…" she murmured. "I…I want you to know, no matter what you two will always be my futaoya[2]."
pNoel smiled, hugging her. "And you'll always be our reijou[3]. Now I think you've had a pretty full day, so go upstairs and sleep. Besides you're probably dead tired now, ne?"
p"I am. Oyasumi nasai[4]…ai shiteru." she murmured, giving each of them a kiss on the cheek before she headed upstairs to her room and sinking into the much needed warmth of her own soft bed.
pOpening her eyes slowly, Jess blinked in the face of the sunlight streaming into her room. She burrowed back beneath the covers, trying to escape it and go back to sleep. She felt languid and heavy with thrumming content.
p"I don't recall the blinds being open…" she muttered into her pillow.
p"I opened them."
pShe pulled back the covers slightly to see Duo seated on the window alcove gazing outside, a serious look on his face. "You know if I wasn't used to you doing this I would scream bloody murder for you to get the hell out of here."
p"Hm." he continued looking out of the window. "You slept all day."
p"What? Yeah right; what time is it?" she asked, pulling her head back beneath the covers. "Twelve or two?"
p"More like five...six in the afternoon. Heard you didn't sleep until four in the morning. Must have been a doozy of a thing to say."
p"Yeah well…some things take a long time." she sat up on the edge of the bed, rubbing her face. "If you don't mind I do need to change and all…"
p"Noel and Aiko said you wanted to talk to me…about you past."
p"So you want to do this now? Jeez, let me get changed and eat something first; then we'll talk." she pointed to the door.
pDuo shook his head. "I can't. I should have told you this from day one, despite what you told me…maybe I did indulge you too much sometimes…"
p"What? What are you talking about? What did I tell you?"
p"To not tell you, even if you did ask…I should have…it would be much easier to do it then instead of going through this now."
p"All right then Duo…" she headed for the door. "I'm going to go and brush my teeth…if you don't mind."
p"Jessica, this is serious. Would you please just sit and listen to me. Please?"
pShe stopped at that, turning around to face him. '…trapped within yourself.' Treize's words echoed in her head, taunting her with the sting of their meaning. Steeling herself, she closed the door and leaned against it, arms crossed; suddenly she found herself fearful of what she was going to hear.
p"All right; start shooting Duo." she muttered.
p"OK...do you remember back when we were kids and all?"
p"How much do you remember?"
p"I remember you taking me to Noel and Aiko…I remember the epidemic on L2...the streets again...the church with Father Maxwell and Sister Helen... when we were on the streets for the first time...beyond that...I have no clue."
p"Do you remember when I found you?"
I remember that." she said with an involuntary shiver passing through her.
p"So you want to know about before all of that?"
pShe remained silent for a few minutes. "Yes...I do."
p"You don't sound too sure Jess." Duo paused. "I mean I figured it was for the best maybe that you forgot...you wouldn't have to go through it all over again...so I never told you...that and you told me not to."
p"When I was how old? Three? Four? Five?" she lapsed in to a brief silence. "I want to know now Duo."
p"All right then." he sat on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his bangs lightly. "I can't tell you much about your parents...I didn't know them very well. We did grow up together; you've been there with me from the start..."
p"Go on." she said quietly, staring out of the window.
p"We were happy once in life I guess...I can't remember anything of our childhood except the bad parts on the streets." he paused, lost in sad nostalgia. "Sorry. Anyways...when we were about three...four I guess...your parents died in a car crash...they died and we got stuck in a foster home."
p"A car crash..." her face twitched slightly. "foster home....sounds like a bad TV movie or something like that..."
pDuo gave a small snort. "We were at the foster home...but we couldn't stand it. So we left one night. Simply walked out and disappeared into the colony."
p"You mean to tell me that an adult simply let us walk out into the night like that." she muttered derisively. "Some responsible adult."
p"Yeah that thought occurred to me too. We were on the streets for a year and then something happened."
p"You...got hit by a car when you ran across the road; it wasn't serious or anything life threatening." he paused looking at her face. You just had to have the damn apple you saw. Who was I to stop you...I never should have let you go and steal it."
p"I was hit by a car...then what?"
p"After I grabbed you and ran, I took you back to the hideout...and then you kinda pushed away from me and ran. I still can't figure out why you did that." he scratched his head. "Maybe you didn't recognize me right away...maybe you were confused...but you ran away and I couldn't find you for three weeks..."
p"And that's when you found me in the alleyway..."
pHe nodded his head. "You let me take you back then and you've been with me ever since until I took you to Noel and Aiko. You were lucky they took you in."
pJess paused for a moment, mind racing. "Because of that epidemic...you got me out of there because of it...didn't you?"
p"Yes. I wasn't about to sit by and watch you die like Solo did. I wanted to get you the hell out of there and he agreed with me; I was very glad to might I add."
p"I never wanted to leave Duo! I wanted to stay; why would you do that to me? Maybe it would have been better if I had died there, who knows. But I didn't want to leave you and the others!"
p"It was for your safety that we agreed to get you out of there; me, Solo and the rest of the guys."
p"Always my safety; didn't you guys ever think about yourselves for once?! I did the exact same things you did; why the hell did you treat me like a special case!?"
p"Because you're a girl Jess!!" he exploded. "Sorry to sound like Wufei here, but when you're a girl on the streets, things are three times more dangerous for you than they are for guys!! You have no strength on the streets!! IT was too risky for you to even be there as long as you were!"
p"Do you think I cared about the risk?! I knew that just as well as the next girl who was out there. But, no: 'We have to look after Jessica; she's a girl.' " she said the last part in a mocking voice. "Damn it Duo, how do you think I felt to see you walk away like that, huh?"
p"How do you think I felt?! I had to find decent people for you to stay with! I didn't like it anymore than you did, but I did it cause it had to be done."
p"It had to be done; you mean you made the decision without and for me. You just said 'Up and at 'em!' one day and the next thing I knew, I was here!! " she scowled at him. "I swear the only thing keeping me from maybe slapping you is the fact that I'm too busy yelling at you right now!!"
p"Jeez, Jess; must you always be so bloody stubborn and defensive? I know life was tough but give yourself a break here. I did what was best for you and the others. You think it was easy for me to lead the others after Solo died? If I made one screw up, we could have starved for a week or two or end up in jail! I wasn't allowed a screw up!! That why I got you out of there; I just didn't know and didn't want to run the risk!"
p"So you just got rid of me like that, huh? I could have helped out; I could have gotten food and gotten you guys out of jail! But you had to send me here, huh?"
p"Because I've always done what's best for you even if I didn't like it or it was so clear that it could have slapped you in your damn face Jess!" he paused anger snapping in his eyes. "Damn it Jess, you think you could cut me a little slack here…"
p"No." she retorted, gathering her thoughts. "So how did you get Noel and Aiko to agree to take me in Duo?"
p"What does it matter? They took you in; you had an education, food, clothes…you were living a good life with them and I knew they wouldn't mistreat you in any way."
p"It does matter Duo! Why; did you beg them or something? Did you get down on your knees and don't want to tell me that fact so you can save your pride?"
p"Damn it Jess I did beg! I wasn't beyond begging at that point! I begged them to take you in and give you the life that I never could!"
p"So why Duo?" she demanded, sensing something else behind his words. "Why the hell would you do that for me? I was just another person to you; I could have been anybody who was-"
p"Goddamn it Jess, you're my sister!! I couldn't let you go through all of that and not suffer along with you in one way or another!!"
pAn abrupt silence descended over the room as Jess looked at Duo in shock. From outside the door, faint voices could be heard before hasty steps down the stairs told them an unexpected audience had fled.
p"What?" she whispered not quite believing the impromptu words she had heard. She had never known Duo to lie to her. "Did you say sister?"
p"Yeah…I said sister." Duo replied quietly, eyes suddenly downcast as he scuffed his socked foot on the floor.
pJess walked up to him in three strides before her palm connected with his face with a loud smack. His cheek went red as he turned his head back to look at her, pain evident on his face. Her lip trembled with rage and hurt as she looked him dead in the eye.
p"And…you never told me this for over ten years? Duo Maxwell…I…" she broke off, unable to continue for lack of the right words.
pDuo looked down again, simply shaking his head. "Look…I'm not going to ask for your forgiveness, I don't deserve it after that… you said that you didn't want to know, so I did what you wanted…but I was only looking out for my sister…I was doing what any brother would do Jess…I'm human too ya know…."
pJess looked at him, feeling the anger inside wash away in the face of new ones; she believed him. She couldn't deny the waves of remorse, guilt, sadness and misery that came off of him; they were like a cloth she could run her fingers against. Suddenly Duo moved slightly before an old worn photo came out of his pocket and into his hand, held out to her. Wordlessly, she took it, seeing the truth on it; there on the back in some unfamiliar scrawl was 'Duo and Jessica; born A.C. 180'. With a trembling hand, she turned it over to be greeted by the faces of two children in someone's arms, who almost looked exactly alike.
p"Are we…" she breathed.
p"No…not identical…some other word, I can't remember what it is." he paused. "I've had that picture as far back as I can tell…probably took it in for show and tell at school or something like that…"
pJess looked back up to see Duo still looking at his moving feet.
p"Sorry to have taken up your time. I…I'll let you get breakfast now…or brush you teeth…or have some time to yourself…whatever…" he mumbled walking past her.
pJess watched as he went closer and closer to the door. There was no Shinigami there, no Duo Maxwell, the ever cheery person; only Duo Maxwell, the little boy who had tried so hard in life only to be beaten down at almost every turn yet still remained optimistic. Abandoning the photo, she ran in front of Duo, blocking the door.
p"What now Jess?" he asked, not meeting her face.
pShe raised his face up, finally seeing the tears in his eyes. Without a sound, she hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry Duo."
p"What for babe?" he asked a light joke in his voice.
p"Yelling at you. You didn't deserve that and-"
p"I recall yelling at you too ya know." he replied hugging her back. "Just seems that you did the loudest of the yelling."
p"Yeah sure, blame me." she said with a shaky sort of laugh. She drew back, looking into his eyes. "Am I really that stubborn?"
p"You have no idea Jess. You can be so bullheaded that a steel wall would crack if you butted it gently." he wiped away his tears. "Wanna get breakfast now?"
p"Sure. What do you want to eat?" she asked as they walked to the door.
p"I dunno. Hey, do you hear someone?" he asked.
pNodding her head, she opened the door, walking out into the hallway. There stood Quatre, lecturing Adrian.
p"You should know better than to eavesdrop on someone's conversation; how would you like it if someone did that to you?" Quatre said in a gentle voice.
p"What?! The little snot was eavesdropping?! Kid, explain yourself!" Jess exclaimed with a mock look of anger.
pQuatre and Adrian looked up startled by her appearance. Adrian took one look at the expression on her face and bolted down the hallway, half falling down the stairs.
p"He's awful." Quatre sighed shaking his head. "I caught him listening outside the door. So, what were you guys up to?"
p"Weren't you awake earlier on?" Duo asked puzzled; if their yelling didn't wake up Quatre of all people…
but I went out for a bit and I just got back in; why…what did I miss?"
p"I'll tell you later Quatre. Let's go get some breakfast now. I'm starving!" Jess said, going down the stairs.
pThe three pilots bounded into the kitchen going through the cupboards and cabinets. Finally they had all the stuff ready to go until Quatre said something.
p"Uh…Duo…we're out of…" he paused for a moment. "cinnamon. Think you can run to the store and get some?"
p"What do ya need cinnamon for?"
p"The French toast. You can have it plain if you like though…"
pJess looked at Quatre. "Are you sure there's no cinnamon? I kinda did want some…but I'm not too eager to go out there yet. Would you mind Duo?"
p"Fine…I'll go and get it." he sighed with resignation. "You two behave yourselves all right?"
pJess chuckled as Duo walked out of the kitchen, the slam of the front door heard a few minutes later. She looked over at Quatre. "I get the feeling that you wanted to talk to me alone?"
p"Yeah…I did. What was Duo talking to you about anyways?"
p"Well…it started off as an argument…but then we ended up apologizing and making up." she paused, fidgeting nervously. "Wanna guess who my brother is?"
p"Brother?" Quatre blinked in surprise. "But I thought…and then…how can he be your brother?"
pShe giggled at his utter confusion. "Yeah…it caught me off guard as well. But basically he said things, I said things and well, here we are." she gave a small shrug.
p"Your brother. Are you sure of this?" he asked, still not quite believing.
p"Yeah, there's a picture but it's upstairs now. Besides, Duo hasn't ever lied to me; why would he do that now?"
p"True." he paused for a moment, a slightly troubled look on his face. "Well, shall we get started? Duo's probably going to be back any moment now."
p"What were you going to say Quatre?" she asked, coming to stand beside him.
p"No. . .nothing don't worry about it. What did you talk to Duo about besides that?" he asked, cracking the eggs.
pJess watched him for a moment. "He told me about my past. Nothing too big though." she paused, watching as the eggs fell in to the bowl. "We basically grew up together until he brought me here to live with Noel and Aiko. You know. . .that sorta explains why he was always teasing me when we were younger."
p"Because he's your brother?" Quatre asked, glancing at her with a small laugh.
don't siblings normally torment each other? You have twenty nine sisters don't you? They musta done something to tick you off."
p"A few things." he paused as she took the bowl and began to batter the bread. "Like the younger ones would dress me up and want to play tea party. . ."
pShe paused, the bread floating in the eggs, a smile spreading on her face. "Tea party? Was the tea any good?"
p"Surprisingly good for imaginary tea." he watched as she deftly removed the soppy bread and placed it into the frying pan. "A bit sugary though. . ."
p"Just a bit huh?" she looked at him a laugh about to escape. "And I bet you brushed your teeth everyday to be sure right?"
p"Exactly." he moved behind her. "Is the bread OK?"
p"Yeah, I just put it on Quatre. You don't think I can possibly mess this up can you?"
p"I don't know. . .you called me asking how to make pancakes and all. . ."he chuckled as she whapped him lightly with her hand. "But I don't think you can mess it up."
p"Thank you."
p"That much." he laughed as she frowned back at him, a smile on her face. "Don't worry if the whole pan goes up in smoke, I'll know what to do."
p"Oh thanks. . ."she muttered, grabbing the spatula. "You really have some faith in me huh."
p"Yup." he rested his chin on her shoulder gently. "You can do this; it's pretty easy. Practically no fail."
p"Hm." she glanced back at him before focusing on the pan; her stomach was fluttering so much from that simple little action of his. "Quatre?"
p"Yes Jess?" he looked up at her.
pShe paused, feeling as if she could fall into those eyes of his and never come out; she wasn't sure if she even wanted to come out, it would be nice to- "Do you. . .do you dream?"
p"Yeah I do." he said after a brief pause. "Why? Do you too?"
p"I do. I. . .dreamt. . .I dreamt that there was this guy with me once and he sorta said the same thing you said that day when Treize was shot."
p"I'll never leave you Jessica. Trust in me; I never will." Quatre paused. "Is that what he said?"
p"Yes." she turned around looking at him. "How could you know that; it doesn't make sense. Should it make sense Quatre?"
p"I honestly don't know Jess." his hands took hers softly. "I'm starting to wonder too."
pShe touched his cheek softly with a smile, his eyes holding hers. She left her hand there not quite willing to move it; she didn't know why but this seemed so...something she couldn't describe, like their contact should never end or be broken. His hand went over hers softly, fingers resting against hers. She started to lean in closer to him, unsure of what exactly she was doing, but it felt so. . .right. Quatre's arm snaked down to her waist, pulling her in slowly, heads and lips separated by mere millimeters. Her heart pounded away in her chest, as she slid a hand over his shoulder, cupping the back of his neck, drawing him in until his lips were just brushing hers. His fingertips touched her cheek slowly, light and caressing before his eyes flickered up to meet hers, the aqua green weaving their spell over her.
p"All right Quatre, I got the cinnamon. Hope you didn't want a specific one."
pThey broke apart hastily at the sound of Duo's voice, looking around to find something to make themselves look busy. Quatre turned to the pan and Jess found herself cracking more eggs as Duo walked into the kitchen.
p"Ok I'm back. Got the cinnamon, plus some other stuff too. How do you guys feel about coffee?"
p"Duo, you know you shouldn't drink that stuff." Jess groaned. "Don't you remember what happened last time? You got all hyper and decided to make friends with Wufei on the day he was trying to meditate? Then he wanted to introduce you to his katana."
p"I didn't think he'd try to chop my hair off." he shrugged. "Besides, it's decaf. Less caffeine is the point right? And tea does have caffeine in it too ya know. I'll make a pot ok?"
p"Fine." she sighed, turning back to the eggs and bread. "But if I bite your head off later when you start bouncing off the walls, I won't say I told ya so."
p"That's what you say." he chuckled. "You know where the filters are?"
p"Downstairs in the pantry; coffee isn't drunk much in this house."
pDuo shook his head. "Downstairs I go eh? Maybe I'll skip coffee. I don't really want to walk anymore."
pJess shook her head as she continued to beat the eggs. Once in a while, she would glance back at Quatre, his eyes meeting hers. i'What's wrong with me?'/i She smiled back despite the flush spreading over her face, not wanting to worry him. i"What did we just do? Could he really have the same dream as me? Is that even possible? He. . .no. . . .he couldn't. . .it was probably. . .'/i Frustrated, she grabbed the carton of eggs and placed it back in the fridge. i'I honestly don't know anymore; I'm going to be hunted for 'assassinating' Treize, I find out that Duo is my brother and my love life, if you can call it that, I don't know what the hell to make of it.'p[1] Quel dommage ~ French for 'What a shame.'
br[2] futaoya ~ Japanese for parents…if this is wrong, please tell me so I can fix the error.
br[3] reijou ~ Japanese for 'daughter' as in daughter daughter, not adopted…I know I made it purposefully mushy at that part. Again, if this is wrong, tell me!! I hate having spelling errors when it comes to other languages and I do my best; I'm only human after all…
br[4] Oyasumi nasai ~ Japanese for 'Good night'…again, if I'm wrong please feel free to totally stick it to me…
i'At least it's nice and quiet in here.'/i She tilted her head to the side, making the glint shift with her. i'How many more hours until we have to go out there to the crowd?'/i A glance up at the clock told her it was twelve in the afternoon. 'Half an hour to go…wonderful.' She rose, sheathing back the sharpened blade.
p"Treize," she said. 'you should be leaving now; it's almost time for your speech."
pHe glanced up at the clock before pushing aside the papers and rising. "It would appear so Miss Jessica."
pShe walked to the door, holding it open for him, following after him silently.
p"There you are Your Excellency." Une's silky voice reached her. "I was starting to think that perhaps you may have forgotten about your speech to the people today."
p"No I have not Lady Une." he replied graciously. "In fact I am on my way right now. So if you shall allow me to pass…"
pShe stepped aside with a small bow, leaving his way free. Jess slid Une a narrow glace as she passed by; she saw the light in Une's eyes that had died out once Treize had passed her. 'Murderous intent almost…' she chewed her lower lip nervously.
pA few minutes later, they were in the car, heading towards the Brava Vida Hotel. Feeling the anxiety grow stronger, Jess began to recheck her weapons.
p"This is the fifth time you've done that today." Treize said with light tone. "Is something troubling you?"
p"No Treize." she murmured, not really hearing the question. "Nothing at all."
pHe looked at her before he chuckled slightly. "How you remind me of my dragon…"
p"Pardon?" she glanced up at him puzzled momentarily. "Did you say something?"
pHe shook his head, gazing out of the window. "Your actions betray you Miss Jessica. You know something is going to happen as well as I do."
p"Then jolly good for you Treize." she put the gun back in its holster. "Anything can happen at an event of this size and magnitude." she took out another dagger and began to check it over, testing the edge.
p"Yes, I know that." he paused. "Some things happen for the better or the worse. It's all dependant on how we interact with one another."
p"Hm." she replied, resting the flat against her fingers. "For every action, there is a reaction…"
p"Exactly. Who knows what the reaction will be to my speech today…perhaps someone will try to kill me before I can deliver it, perhaps not."
p"Roulette." she murmured, sheathing back the blade. "So many chances…"
p"May I use you as an example?" he asked. He closed his eyes as she gave a curt nod in acknowledgement. "You're a Gundam pilot correct?"
p"No shit Einstein." she muttered slightly cross; she didn't like where this was headed already.
pA slightly displeased look crossed his face before he continued. "Have you made choices you felt to be wrong or right; have they ever been clear cut or mixed? Have you ever experienced indecision on the battlefield?"
pJess remained silent for a few minutes. "I go through the same things as everyone else, just on a more different level. We all face indecision, doubt, ineptitude-"
p"Fear of rejection perhaps?"
p"That as well." she fell silent momentarily. "But that is the path of the solider, of the warrior. No one expects to find companionship along its rocky road, in any form really. Maybe no one wants to…"
p"Really?" he looked at her rather fixedly. "And what if you found it Miss Jessica; what then? Would you still want it?"
pShe shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm not the person to be asking about companionship Treize. My outlook on life is far from rosy. So very far…I think I may be too…cynical sometimes to ever find someone."
p"Quel dommage[1]." he murmured softly.
p"If it wasn't for that tone in you voice I'd accuse you of mocking me." she muttered. "The way things go in my life, it's better to not become too involved with someone." 'And I even screwed up my own philosophy damn it.'
p"Perhaps you should drop the cynicism and try to be yourself once in a while. Maybe you'll find that fate is all in your head."
p"Drawing on experience from your 'dragon' a bit there?"
pJess blinked in surprise as a slight flush spread across Treize's face. She hadn't expected to hit something in him in a million years…
p"One…could say that." he replied after clearing his throat.
p"Hn. If there's one thing I've heard Treize, it's that you shouldn't drop your guard like that. But my life taught me to never drop my guard; at any given time."
p"So you're forever defensive; how can you live like that?"
p"Quite easily." she replied shortly. 'One develops a complex mask to hide themselves. A complex and steely mask albeit.'
p"I see it as a shame how you exist in the world then. With so much around you to experience and you're so young as well…"
p"What? Cause I act all cold?"
pA sad sort of light came into Treize's eyes. "Because you are trapped within yourself."
pJess didn't respond, simply meeting his gaze for a few minutes before she turned to look out the window. 'He doesn't know what it was like for me growing up; he can't pass judgment on me like that…' But try as she might to ignore or not acknowledge them, deep down inside she knew there was a truth to Treize's words that she could never change.
pThe rest of the car ride was silent as neither spoke again. Even when the car pulled up into the hotel driveway in the back of the building, they never uttered a single word, walking into the building in complete silence.
pJess glanced up in time to see a small redheaded girl come barreling towards Treize. He picked her up with a laughing smile before hugging her.
p"How have you been Maimai?" he asked. "Been behaving for your mother I hope?"
p"Oh yes she has; despite the shuttle ride here." a woman said as she walked up. "Is this your bodyguard?"
p"Yes. Leia, Miss Jessica. Miss Jessica, my wife Leia."
p"A pleasure to meet you." Jess said offering her hand. "I gather that's your daughter?"
that's our little Maimai. Very energetic; all throughout the flight she kept going and talking to people. Not that they talked to her much." Leia replied.
p"A shame. They would ignore a child?"
p"Most of them; only one person talked to her. Nice young man by the name of Beckett. He was busy but he took the time."
p"Nice to see there's some kind people left in the world…" she murmured softly. "If you excuse me Mrs. Khushrenada, I'll have to take away your husband now."
p"No problem. Come along Maimai, we'll find good spots for daddy's speech." Leia took her from Treize. "I'd say you're in good hands dear. We'll see you afterwards."
pJess watched as Leia and Maimai walked away before she looked back at Treize. "Your wife huh?"
p"So who's the dragon; a friend?"
pTreize looked at her. "Are you implying something here?"
p"You tell me. If I am so cold, wouldn't it give me a sort of objectivity, so to speak?" she asked sliding on a pair of shades.
p"Hm. Perhaps too much for your own good." he murmured before he started down the hall.
p"Say what you want. But since I have no idea of the full situation I won't pass any opinions on you Treize." she replied falling in step beside him.
p"How very generous of you Miss Jessica." he replied in a slightly mocking tone of voice.
pJess simply smirked as they walked down the guarded hallway, heading for the podium outside. 'Never would have pegged him as a man to have an affair.' She schooled her face into a stoic expression as they walked outside into the bright sunlight. The cameras flashed with their bright bulbs, blinding to the unprotected eye, the live cameras swinging round to catch them. 'How glad I am I remembered the last time and got these.' Treize walked up to the podium amidst a cheering crowd while Jess took her spot just behind him, eyes, scanning the crowd for the first sign of trouble.
p"Well well…" she murmured under her breath seeing some figures in the crowd.
pThere was Lara and Zechs in plain clothes, blending into the crowd seamlessly; she almost overlooked them. Behind them off to the side, was Samuel in the same guise, only talking into a walkie-talkie. 'Hmph. He's in charge of security? That's gonna go to pot; he'll mess that up in a second.'
pAs Treize started his speech, the large crowd hushed, silence spreading all around. His words passed in and out of Jess' ears though; she couldn't afford to listen to him and have something slip her notice. The crowd ate up everything Treize had to offer, the faces turning serious and contemplative of what he was saying to them. Her eyes shifted up to the building tops, looking for any foreign shapes there. Finding nothing, she went back down to another sweep of the crowd. The anxiousness inside intensified sharply without warning, causing her to shift slightly. She looked around the crowd again; nothing.
p"Shit." she cursed, seeing a figure up on the roof of a building crouched down over something.
pThe faint gleam of a lens caught the sunlight as Jess whipped out her own gun and fired making the crowd shift suddenly as they realized something was wrong. Amongst the screams and fleeing people, she saw the figure go down, with a sharp satisfying jerk. Her eyes casted around the rooftops, spying one more figure that she felled just as quickly. Then she spotted another directly behind Treize, causing her to stand up and point dead at it. Just as she was about to pull the trigger, a heavy person tackled her down the steps and to the ground.
p"What the hell?! Let me go!!" she struggled against the person violently; she could have sworn she heard another gun shot in the noise. "Treize needs- "
p"You aren't going anywhere…traitor."
pHer entire body froze at the sound of Samuel's voice for a split second before she resumed her struggles to push him off of her. "Let me go you baka, someone's trying to kill Treize!! Don't you know what that means?!"
p"I know exactly what it means bitch." he growled. "Let it happen."
pHer eyes widened in shock as the realization sank in. "Oh my God…it's you…you're trying to-"
pHe pressed a hand over her mouth, effectively silencing her. "And we'll succeed this time…with no interference from you or anyone else."
pStill muffling her mouth, he dragged her away to an alleyway in the general chaos that still ensued. She bit down savagely on his hand making him yelp and draw it away quickly. She drew away quickly but he yanked her back hard, her body slamming against the brick wall before he slapped her hard across the face once.
p"Don't you dare hit me; haven't you learned that by now. Or do you need another lesson?"
p"Ass! When will you learn?" she snarled.
pHis hand closed around her throat as he looked at her with a strange gleam in his eyes. Immediately her mind screamed at her to get out of there but it appeared that Samuel would have none of it.
p"Maybe, it's time you finally learned just what I can do to you 'dear'." he said the last word mockingly. "What we never did on our wedding night…"
p"You wouldn't…" she whispered. "You wouldn't dare…"
p"Are you scared?" he grasped the neckline of her shirt. "You should be."
pJess' scream mingled with the others as another gun report echoed out over the crowd. She tried to punch Samuel with her fist but he caught it with a sadistic smirk.
p"Not very ladylike." he said with a cluck of his tongue.
p"And what makes you a man?" she hissed back, her struggles borne from fear now.
pHer upper chest felt cold from where he'd ripped the material of her shirt away, exposing her thin lacy bra. The look in his eyes never left, but only intensified making her fight harder.
p"Perhaps I should have done this sooner; then you wouldn't be so defiant now." he murmured, hand trailing down to her chest heavily.
p"Stop Samuel, I don't want you to do this to me." she pleaded, voice faltering as she realized a nightmare was about to become reality. "Please, stop this…"
p"Too late." he said, fingers digging in viciously into her breast.
pTears sprang to her eyes, but she refused to shed them and let him win. She ignored the pain he caused and continued fighting until he slapped her again, the lining of her cheek shredding against her teeth. She managed to punch him in the face again, until he drove a knee into her stomach. Breathless, she slid to the ground along the wall before sprawling to the dirty asphalt to catch her breath, unable to defend herself any more.
p"Oh God no…" she managed to whisper as he jumped on top of her.
pShe fended him off weakly, stomach still protesting against his last attack. She felt the last of her shirt being ripped away then his hands were on her bra before a voice stopped him.
p"Take your hands off of her."
pManaging to pull her herself to the side, she saw an unfamiliar figure standing before Samuel. i'Lord…somebody else sees my humiliation…'p"And just what are you going to do about it?" Samuel sneered, picking himself up and standing before the black haired guy.
p"I'll beat you up again. And much worse this time." came the tight response.
p"Again? Ha, I've never seen you before in my life, you moron."
p"Let' see if you remember this then."
pJess managed to pick herself up watching as the guy launched himself at Samuel. "This guy…he looks…familiar…" she watched as he beat Samuel to a pulp before finally stopping.
p"Are you all right Jess?" he asked, standing up and looking at her.
pShe stepped forward slowly, unsure of what she was seeing. "Quatre…is…that you?"
it's me." he reached forward and closed her jacket. "Sorry if you didn't recognize me. I didn't want him to." he motioned towards Samuel. "Let's get out of here while they're still confused."
pShe nodded her head as they disappeared down the opposite end of the alleyway, onto the other main street, free from the chaos on the other.
p"Quatre?" she asked in a quiet whisper.
p"Yes Jess?"
p"Please…don't tell anyone what you saw."
pHe looked down in to her eyes for a few moments before he pulled her close. "All right Jess…I won't. I'll take you back to your parents all right? Duo's there with them. He'll look out for you…until you get back on your feet."
p"Thank you Quatre." she sighed, leaning into him.
pHe paused for a moment, thinking over her words. "I said I'll never leave you."
pA feeling of dread settled in her stomach as she stood before her parents' door. What could she possibly say this time around?
p"Jess…are you OK?"
p"Yeah…I'm fine Quatre…just…I'm fine." she replied in a hesitant voice.
p"Hey…it'll be all right, don't worry; I'll stay if you want me too."
pShe gave him a smile before she reached out with a trembling hand to knock on the door. Quatre stilled her hand with his own as he knocked for her. She fell silent, as he let their hands fall. Her heart started to pound as he still held hers gently in his. She glanced at him meeting his aqua green eyes before she gave a shaky sort of smile. He gave her hand a gentle reassuring squeeze as the door opened slowly.
pStanding in the doorway was Noel, intimidating as ever with his height. She looked up at him. "Hi Papa. I was…in the neighborhood and I…I thought I'd drop in."
pNoel's eyes flickered to their linked hands, a frown forming in his face. "Uh huh; and who is this young man with you?"
p"Quatre Winner Sir." he said, offering his hand.
p"Quatre Winner huh?" there was a dry tone to Noel's voice as he shook it. "You certainly don't look like him."
p"I dyed my hair Sir."
p"Quatre, Jess." they looked behind Noel to see Duo standing in the hallway. "I think you two better come in here and see what's on the news."
pNoel stood aside so they could walk into the house. Jess led Quatre down the hallway to the living room, where Aiko and Adrian sat glued to the TV. There in the screen was the event that happened at Brava Vida. She saw herself, firing away at the unseen assailants until she finally went for the one right behind Treize before she was tackled to the ground, just as the assassin fired.
p"Oh my God…it looks like I shot Treize…" she whispered in horror.
p"Jess-chan!!" Aiko turned and rose quickly, going to hug her daughter tightly. "You're safe!! I was so worried about you!!"
p"I'm fine Mama." she replied wincing slightly. "Quatre here got me out of there in time."
p"Quatre?" she drew back puzzled. "This young man here?"
p"Yes. Not that it was easy to get back down here." she said softly.
p"I would imagine so Jessica. You do realize that you can't hide so easily now. It'll be even harder for you now than it was before." Noel said standing behind them.
p"That bastard knew…he set me up for the fall…it all makes sense now…that fu…damn bastard…" she cursed. "I swear I'll have his head for this one."
p"Jess-chan…do you mind me asking who?" Aiko asked.
p"Samuel." she said in a tight voice.
p"Samuel? Why on Earth would he do something like that to you?" Noel demanded. "Is there something you're not telling us Jessica?"
pShe fell silent, gathering up what little courage she had left now. "Yes, there is. Can we go and talk in the parlor…alone?"
p"Why do that?" Duo said, herding Adrian out of the living room. "Come on Quatre; let's see if we can find something to do in the meanwhile."
pJess flashed him a grateful look before she turned to her parents, nervousness running through her.
p"So what do you need to talk to us about?" Aiko asked seating herself on the couch again.
p"About Samuel…about that thing called a marriage." she said softly as she sat in the spot that Aiko was patting beside her.
p"What about it?" Noel asked seating himself beside her.
p"I…it…" she faltered, unsure of what to say.
p"Take your time Jessica and talk when you feel ready." Noel said with a gentle smile. "We'll listen to what you have to say in full."
pJess nodded her head. "You see…I never thought he would be like this at first…he was…civil and polite and nice…so when you said I was going to marry him; I thought it wouldn't be so bad…but…" she tightened her hands on her knees.
pFeeling a gentle touch on her shoulder, she found herself looking at Aiko's smiling face. All the things that she had wanted to say to them for so long came tumbling out in a rush. The initial fear and pain of loneliness, the fear of disappointing them, wanting to make them proud of her, wanting to be a daughter they could be proud of before it took a darker twist descending down rapidly into the tales of almost ritual abuse suffered from Samuel's hands. By the time he finished everything she had to say, her eyes, were red-rimmed and bloodshot from staying awake for so long, the clock that had once read nine p.m. now saying four a.m. The early morning room was filled with silence as Noel and Aiko sat there in shock, absorbing everything she had told them.
p"Jessica…why didn't you tell us this before?" Noel asked in a hushed voice.
pShe shrugged weakly. "I figured…that I could get away…get a divorce and then tell you…I never wanted to disappoint you guys. I...I only…I only wanted to-"
p"Jess-chan." Aiko hugged her tightly. "You've never disappointed us at all. Made us angry and worried yes, but you could never do that to us. We only wanted you to be you and happy; nothing more."
pJess sighed, blinking rapidly. "I know Mama…but I thought it would be better that way…you and Papa would see for yourself and…"
p"Jess…just how badly has he hurt you?"
pJess pulled down the neck of her shirt showing Noel the livid dark black and blue bruise on her upper collarbone. "It goes lower…but modesty prevents me from showing it to you."
p"How did he do that?" Noel's voice was tight with anger.
p"He slammed me into a wall." she paused hearing Aiko gasp. "And then he…then he…I'd rather not talk about it." she fell silent for a moment, not saying anything. "Mama…you said that you wanted me to be happy."
p"Yes…that's all we have ever wanted for you Jess-chan." Aiko stroked her hair gently. "My poor baby….you're never going back to him again."
p"Mama…can you tell me about my past? Like before you adopted me? Before I was brought here?" she looked expectantly at Aiko then Noel. 'I need to know myself at least before I can open up to others.'
pFor the first time she saw them hesitant to tell her something. They suddenly grew restless and unsure. She peered into their faces to see uncertainty lingering in their eyes.
p"All right then; why can't you tell me, since you don't seem to be very forthcoming in the direct department."
p"To be honest Jessica…we don't really know anything about your past before you came to us. You know that Duo brought you here to us right?" Noel replied with a weary sort of sigh.
p"Then I would say ask him." Noel rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Your mother and I have always wondered when you'd ask us this question; we figured when you'd be twenty or something…guess the time came sooner than expected."
p"Ask Duo…" she murmured. "I…I want you to know, no matter what you two will always be my futaoya[2]."
pNoel smiled, hugging her. "And you'll always be our reijou[3]. Now I think you've had a pretty full day, so go upstairs and sleep. Besides you're probably dead tired now, ne?"
p"I am. Oyasumi nasai[4]…ai shiteru." she murmured, giving each of them a kiss on the cheek before she headed upstairs to her room and sinking into the much needed warmth of her own soft bed.
pOpening her eyes slowly, Jess blinked in the face of the sunlight streaming into her room. She burrowed back beneath the covers, trying to escape it and go back to sleep. She felt languid and heavy with thrumming content.
p"I don't recall the blinds being open…" she muttered into her pillow.
p"I opened them."
pShe pulled back the covers slightly to see Duo seated on the window alcove gazing outside, a serious look on his face. "You know if I wasn't used to you doing this I would scream bloody murder for you to get the hell out of here."
p"Hm." he continued looking out of the window. "You slept all day."
p"What? Yeah right; what time is it?" she asked, pulling her head back beneath the covers. "Twelve or two?"
p"More like five...six in the afternoon. Heard you didn't sleep until four in the morning. Must have been a doozy of a thing to say."
p"Yeah well…some things take a long time." she sat up on the edge of the bed, rubbing her face. "If you don't mind I do need to change and all…"
p"Noel and Aiko said you wanted to talk to me…about you past."
p"So you want to do this now? Jeez, let me get changed and eat something first; then we'll talk." she pointed to the door.
pDuo shook his head. "I can't. I should have told you this from day one, despite what you told me…maybe I did indulge you too much sometimes…"
p"What? What are you talking about? What did I tell you?"
p"To not tell you, even if you did ask…I should have…it would be much easier to do it then instead of going through this now."
p"All right then Duo…" she headed for the door. "I'm going to go and brush my teeth…if you don't mind."
p"Jessica, this is serious. Would you please just sit and listen to me. Please?"
pShe stopped at that, turning around to face him. '…trapped within yourself.' Treize's words echoed in her head, taunting her with the sting of their meaning. Steeling herself, she closed the door and leaned against it, arms crossed; suddenly she found herself fearful of what she was going to hear.
p"All right; start shooting Duo." she muttered.
p"OK...do you remember back when we were kids and all?"
p"How much do you remember?"
p"I remember you taking me to Noel and Aiko…I remember the epidemic on L2...the streets again...the church with Father Maxwell and Sister Helen... when we were on the streets for the first time...beyond that...I have no clue."
p"Do you remember when I found you?"
I remember that." she said with an involuntary shiver passing through her.
p"So you want to know about before all of that?"
pShe remained silent for a few minutes. "Yes...I do."
p"You don't sound too sure Jess." Duo paused. "I mean I figured it was for the best maybe that you forgot...you wouldn't have to go through it all over again...so I never told you...that and you told me not to."
p"When I was how old? Three? Four? Five?" she lapsed in to a brief silence. "I want to know now Duo."
p"All right then." he sat on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his bangs lightly. "I can't tell you much about your parents...I didn't know them very well. We did grow up together; you've been there with me from the start..."
p"Go on." she said quietly, staring out of the window.
p"We were happy once in life I guess...I can't remember anything of our childhood except the bad parts on the streets." he paused, lost in sad nostalgia. "Sorry. Anyways...when we were about three...four I guess...your parents died in a car crash...they died and we got stuck in a foster home."
p"A car crash..." her face twitched slightly. "foster home....sounds like a bad TV movie or something like that..."
pDuo gave a small snort. "We were at the foster home...but we couldn't stand it. So we left one night. Simply walked out and disappeared into the colony."
p"You mean to tell me that an adult simply let us walk out into the night like that." she muttered derisively. "Some responsible adult."
p"Yeah that thought occurred to me too. We were on the streets for a year and then something happened."
p"You...got hit by a car when you ran across the road; it wasn't serious or anything life threatening." he paused looking at her face. You just had to have the damn apple you saw. Who was I to stop you...I never should have let you go and steal it."
p"I was hit by a car...then what?"
p"After I grabbed you and ran, I took you back to the hideout...and then you kinda pushed away from me and ran. I still can't figure out why you did that." he scratched his head. "Maybe you didn't recognize me right away...maybe you were confused...but you ran away and I couldn't find you for three weeks..."
p"And that's when you found me in the alleyway..."
pHe nodded his head. "You let me take you back then and you've been with me ever since until I took you to Noel and Aiko. You were lucky they took you in."
pJess paused for a moment, mind racing. "Because of that epidemic...you got me out of there because of it...didn't you?"
p"Yes. I wasn't about to sit by and watch you die like Solo did. I wanted to get you the hell out of there and he agreed with me; I was very glad to might I add."
p"I never wanted to leave Duo! I wanted to stay; why would you do that to me? Maybe it would have been better if I had died there, who knows. But I didn't want to leave you and the others!"
p"It was for your safety that we agreed to get you out of there; me, Solo and the rest of the guys."
p"Always my safety; didn't you guys ever think about yourselves for once?! I did the exact same things you did; why the hell did you treat me like a special case!?"
p"Because you're a girl Jess!!" he exploded. "Sorry to sound like Wufei here, but when you're a girl on the streets, things are three times more dangerous for you than they are for guys!! You have no strength on the streets!! IT was too risky for you to even be there as long as you were!"
p"Do you think I cared about the risk?! I knew that just as well as the next girl who was out there. But, no: 'We have to look after Jessica; she's a girl.' " she said the last part in a mocking voice. "Damn it Duo, how do you think I felt to see you walk away like that, huh?"
p"How do you think I felt?! I had to find decent people for you to stay with! I didn't like it anymore than you did, but I did it cause it had to be done."
p"It had to be done; you mean you made the decision without and for me. You just said 'Up and at 'em!' one day and the next thing I knew, I was here!! " she scowled at him. "I swear the only thing keeping me from maybe slapping you is the fact that I'm too busy yelling at you right now!!"
p"Jeez, Jess; must you always be so bloody stubborn and defensive? I know life was tough but give yourself a break here. I did what was best for you and the others. You think it was easy for me to lead the others after Solo died? If I made one screw up, we could have starved for a week or two or end up in jail! I wasn't allowed a screw up!! That why I got you out of there; I just didn't know and didn't want to run the risk!"
p"So you just got rid of me like that, huh? I could have helped out; I could have gotten food and gotten you guys out of jail! But you had to send me here, huh?"
p"Because I've always done what's best for you even if I didn't like it or it was so clear that it could have slapped you in your damn face Jess!" he paused anger snapping in his eyes. "Damn it Jess, you think you could cut me a little slack here…"
p"No." she retorted, gathering her thoughts. "So how did you get Noel and Aiko to agree to take me in Duo?"
p"What does it matter? They took you in; you had an education, food, clothes…you were living a good life with them and I knew they wouldn't mistreat you in any way."
p"It does matter Duo! Why; did you beg them or something? Did you get down on your knees and don't want to tell me that fact so you can save your pride?"
p"Damn it Jess I did beg! I wasn't beyond begging at that point! I begged them to take you in and give you the life that I never could!"
p"So why Duo?" she demanded, sensing something else behind his words. "Why the hell would you do that for me? I was just another person to you; I could have been anybody who was-"
p"Goddamn it Jess, you're my sister!! I couldn't let you go through all of that and not suffer along with you in one way or another!!"
pAn abrupt silence descended over the room as Jess looked at Duo in shock. From outside the door, faint voices could be heard before hasty steps down the stairs told them an unexpected audience had fled.
p"What?" she whispered not quite believing the impromptu words she had heard. She had never known Duo to lie to her. "Did you say sister?"
p"Yeah…I said sister." Duo replied quietly, eyes suddenly downcast as he scuffed his socked foot on the floor.
pJess walked up to him in three strides before her palm connected with his face with a loud smack. His cheek went red as he turned his head back to look at her, pain evident on his face. Her lip trembled with rage and hurt as she looked him dead in the eye.
p"And…you never told me this for over ten years? Duo Maxwell…I…" she broke off, unable to continue for lack of the right words.
pDuo looked down again, simply shaking his head. "Look…I'm not going to ask for your forgiveness, I don't deserve it after that… you said that you didn't want to know, so I did what you wanted…but I was only looking out for my sister…I was doing what any brother would do Jess…I'm human too ya know…."
pJess looked at him, feeling the anger inside wash away in the face of new ones; she believed him. She couldn't deny the waves of remorse, guilt, sadness and misery that came off of him; they were like a cloth she could run her fingers against. Suddenly Duo moved slightly before an old worn photo came out of his pocket and into his hand, held out to her. Wordlessly, she took it, seeing the truth on it; there on the back in some unfamiliar scrawl was 'Duo and Jessica; born A.C. 180'. With a trembling hand, she turned it over to be greeted by the faces of two children in someone's arms, who almost looked exactly alike.
p"Are we…" she breathed.
p"No…not identical…some other word, I can't remember what it is." he paused. "I've had that picture as far back as I can tell…probably took it in for show and tell at school or something like that…"
pJess looked back up to see Duo still looking at his moving feet.
p"Sorry to have taken up your time. I…I'll let you get breakfast now…or brush you teeth…or have some time to yourself…whatever…" he mumbled walking past her.
pJess watched as he went closer and closer to the door. There was no Shinigami there, no Duo Maxwell, the ever cheery person; only Duo Maxwell, the little boy who had tried so hard in life only to be beaten down at almost every turn yet still remained optimistic. Abandoning the photo, she ran in front of Duo, blocking the door.
p"What now Jess?" he asked, not meeting her face.
pShe raised his face up, finally seeing the tears in his eyes. Without a sound, she hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry Duo."
p"What for babe?" he asked a light joke in his voice.
p"Yelling at you. You didn't deserve that and-"
p"I recall yelling at you too ya know." he replied hugging her back. "Just seems that you did the loudest of the yelling."
p"Yeah sure, blame me." she said with a shaky sort of laugh. She drew back, looking into his eyes. "Am I really that stubborn?"
p"You have no idea Jess. You can be so bullheaded that a steel wall would crack if you butted it gently." he wiped away his tears. "Wanna get breakfast now?"
p"Sure. What do you want to eat?" she asked as they walked to the door.
p"I dunno. Hey, do you hear someone?" he asked.
pNodding her head, she opened the door, walking out into the hallway. There stood Quatre, lecturing Adrian.
p"You should know better than to eavesdrop on someone's conversation; how would you like it if someone did that to you?" Quatre said in a gentle voice.
p"What?! The little snot was eavesdropping?! Kid, explain yourself!" Jess exclaimed with a mock look of anger.
pQuatre and Adrian looked up startled by her appearance. Adrian took one look at the expression on her face and bolted down the hallway, half falling down the stairs.
p"He's awful." Quatre sighed shaking his head. "I caught him listening outside the door. So, what were you guys up to?"
p"Weren't you awake earlier on?" Duo asked puzzled; if their yelling didn't wake up Quatre of all people…
but I went out for a bit and I just got back in; why…what did I miss?"
p"I'll tell you later Quatre. Let's go get some breakfast now. I'm starving!" Jess said, going down the stairs.
pThe three pilots bounded into the kitchen going through the cupboards and cabinets. Finally they had all the stuff ready to go until Quatre said something.
p"Uh…Duo…we're out of…" he paused for a moment. "cinnamon. Think you can run to the store and get some?"
p"What do ya need cinnamon for?"
p"The French toast. You can have it plain if you like though…"
pJess looked at Quatre. "Are you sure there's no cinnamon? I kinda did want some…but I'm not too eager to go out there yet. Would you mind Duo?"
p"Fine…I'll go and get it." he sighed with resignation. "You two behave yourselves all right?"
pJess chuckled as Duo walked out of the kitchen, the slam of the front door heard a few minutes later. She looked over at Quatre. "I get the feeling that you wanted to talk to me alone?"
p"Yeah…I did. What was Duo talking to you about anyways?"
p"Well…it started off as an argument…but then we ended up apologizing and making up." she paused, fidgeting nervously. "Wanna guess who my brother is?"
p"Brother?" Quatre blinked in surprise. "But I thought…and then…how can he be your brother?"
pShe giggled at his utter confusion. "Yeah…it caught me off guard as well. But basically he said things, I said things and well, here we are." she gave a small shrug.
p"Your brother. Are you sure of this?" he asked, still not quite believing.
p"Yeah, there's a picture but it's upstairs now. Besides, Duo hasn't ever lied to me; why would he do that now?"
p"True." he paused for a moment, a slightly troubled look on his face. "Well, shall we get started? Duo's probably going to be back any moment now."
p"What were you going to say Quatre?" she asked, coming to stand beside him.
p"No. . .nothing don't worry about it. What did you talk to Duo about besides that?" he asked, cracking the eggs.
pJess watched him for a moment. "He told me about my past. Nothing too big though." she paused, watching as the eggs fell in to the bowl. "We basically grew up together until he brought me here to live with Noel and Aiko. You know. . .that sorta explains why he was always teasing me when we were younger."
p"Because he's your brother?" Quatre asked, glancing at her with a small laugh.
don't siblings normally torment each other? You have twenty nine sisters don't you? They musta done something to tick you off."
p"A few things." he paused as she took the bowl and began to batter the bread. "Like the younger ones would dress me up and want to play tea party. . ."
pShe paused, the bread floating in the eggs, a smile spreading on her face. "Tea party? Was the tea any good?"
p"Surprisingly good for imaginary tea." he watched as she deftly removed the soppy bread and placed it into the frying pan. "A bit sugary though. . ."
p"Just a bit huh?" she looked at him a laugh about to escape. "And I bet you brushed your teeth everyday to be sure right?"
p"Exactly." he moved behind her. "Is the bread OK?"
p"Yeah, I just put it on Quatre. You don't think I can possibly mess this up can you?"
p"I don't know. . .you called me asking how to make pancakes and all. . ."he chuckled as she whapped him lightly with her hand. "But I don't think you can mess it up."
p"Thank you."
p"That much." he laughed as she frowned back at him, a smile on her face. "Don't worry if the whole pan goes up in smoke, I'll know what to do."
p"Oh thanks. . ."she muttered, grabbing the spatula. "You really have some faith in me huh."
p"Yup." he rested his chin on her shoulder gently. "You can do this; it's pretty easy. Practically no fail."
p"Hm." she glanced back at him before focusing on the pan; her stomach was fluttering so much from that simple little action of his. "Quatre?"
p"Yes Jess?" he looked up at her.
pShe paused, feeling as if she could fall into those eyes of his and never come out; she wasn't sure if she even wanted to come out, it would be nice to- "Do you. . .do you dream?"
p"Yeah I do." he said after a brief pause. "Why? Do you too?"
p"I do. I. . .dreamt. . .I dreamt that there was this guy with me once and he sorta said the same thing you said that day when Treize was shot."
p"I'll never leave you Jessica. Trust in me; I never will." Quatre paused. "Is that what he said?"
p"Yes." she turned around looking at him. "How could you know that; it doesn't make sense. Should it make sense Quatre?"
p"I honestly don't know Jess." his hands took hers softly. "I'm starting to wonder too."
pShe touched his cheek softly with a smile, his eyes holding hers. She left her hand there not quite willing to move it; she didn't know why but this seemed so...something she couldn't describe, like their contact should never end or be broken. His hand went over hers softly, fingers resting against hers. She started to lean in closer to him, unsure of what exactly she was doing, but it felt so. . .right. Quatre's arm snaked down to her waist, pulling her in slowly, heads and lips separated by mere millimeters. Her heart pounded away in her chest, as she slid a hand over his shoulder, cupping the back of his neck, drawing him in until his lips were just brushing hers. His fingertips touched her cheek slowly, light and caressing before his eyes flickered up to meet hers, the aqua green weaving their spell over her.
p"All right Quatre, I got the cinnamon. Hope you didn't want a specific one."
pThey broke apart hastily at the sound of Duo's voice, looking around to find something to make themselves look busy. Quatre turned to the pan and Jess found herself cracking more eggs as Duo walked into the kitchen.
p"Ok I'm back. Got the cinnamon, plus some other stuff too. How do you guys feel about coffee?"
p"Duo, you know you shouldn't drink that stuff." Jess groaned. "Don't you remember what happened last time? You got all hyper and decided to make friends with Wufei on the day he was trying to meditate? Then he wanted to introduce you to his katana."
p"I didn't think he'd try to chop my hair off." he shrugged. "Besides, it's decaf. Less caffeine is the point right? And tea does have caffeine in it too ya know. I'll make a pot ok?"
p"Fine." she sighed, turning back to the eggs and bread. "But if I bite your head off later when you start bouncing off the walls, I won't say I told ya so."
p"That's what you say." he chuckled. "You know where the filters are?"
p"Downstairs in the pantry; coffee isn't drunk much in this house."
pDuo shook his head. "Downstairs I go eh? Maybe I'll skip coffee. I don't really want to walk anymore."
pJess shook her head as she continued to beat the eggs. Once in a while, she would glance back at Quatre, his eyes meeting hers. i'What's wrong with me?'/i She smiled back despite the flush spreading over her face, not wanting to worry him. i"What did we just do? Could he really have the same dream as me? Is that even possible? He. . .no. . . .he couldn't. . .it was probably. . .'/i Frustrated, she grabbed the carton of eggs and placed it back in the fridge. i'I honestly don't know anymore; I'm going to be hunted for 'assassinating' Treize, I find out that Duo is my brother and my love life, if you can call it that, I don't know what the hell to make of it.'p[1] Quel dommage ~ French for 'What a shame.'
br[2] futaoya ~ Japanese for parents…if this is wrong, please tell me so I can fix the error.
br[3] reijou ~ Japanese for 'daughter' as in daughter daughter, not adopted…I know I made it purposefully mushy at that part. Again, if this is wrong, tell me!! I hate having spelling errors when it comes to other languages and I do my best; I'm only human after all…
br[4] Oyasumi nasai ~ Japanese for 'Good night'…again, if I'm wrong please feel free to totally stick it to me…