Title: When Harry Left Severus
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.
Chapter 16 - Nightmares
by: Raven Dancer
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works. Although it is a pretty good method of psychological release...
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They weathered the first nightmare in fine style. Soft voices, gently touches, a warm sheltered place. The whimpers diminished and the spasming body resettled into sleep. Both men watched the Potions Master sink back down in the dim light.
There, that's much better, Black gave Snape's hair a final stroke.
Yes, much, Lupin sighed.
At least he's easier to handle than Harry was, the animagus remarked as he settled down on his pillow once more. Lupin perked up a bit.
I never had a chance to ask you how the day went with
Harry, Lupin prompted his spouse. He watched Black grimace at the memory.
I had to keep reminding myself he's still suffering from the
residuals, Black muttered.
I will certainly be glad once Jeffrey has worked with him
and sorted out some of his confusion. Now Lupin sighed.
I don't think Jeffrey's going to work with Harry much longer, the werewolf replied. Black rose back up on his elbows.
What? Why can't Jeffrey work with Harry? He asked sharply, leaning slightly towards his mate. He was hampered by the sleeping body of the Potions master.
He said he doesn't feel comfortable working with Harry. He
feels angry because Severus was hurt, Lupin explained carefully, noting the stress in Black's voice.
But it wasn't Harry's fault! the animagus returned. Lupin shrugged.
No, it wasn't but Jeffrey's only human. He associates Harry
with the injuries and suffering Sev's experienced. At least
he's honest, the werewolf replied. Neither noticed the slight grimace on the sleeping man's face.
But it wasn't Harry's fault, Black repeated as though this was the important factor.
It was that bastard Vachel and his friends!
I know Siri! But you have to admit it wouldn't do Harry
any good if Jeffrey's not willing or uncomfortable, Lupin tried to reach over and stroke his mate's shoulder. Black momentarily stiffened which caused another slight muscle twitching in Snape. Then Black relaxed into the touch.
You're right, I know you're right. I just didn't like the idea
that Jeffrey associates Harry with the attack on Severus.
He feels very guilty about Sev getting beaten so bad, the animagus continued.
As the two men talked about Harry, Jeffrey and the horrible situation that landed the two together in the Healer's realm they didn't notice their sleeping companion's reactions to them. Key words slipped into Snape's mind, twisting into his dreams. They reverberated as he began to panic.
The masked wizards shattered his lounge before turning on him, slamming him into the wall. At first he was in his own home, but it dissolved in a wall of fire. Instead of the masked wizards Snape suddenly found himself prostrate before Voldemort; surrounded by evil laughter and taunts.
*Traitor!*
*Turncoat!*
*Death is too good for the likes of you!*
Snape twisted on the ground as he was battered from one side to the other, never knowing where the next blow was coming from. The scene shifted from Voldemort's sitting room to the graveyard to his own Morning Room.
*Disgusting piece of filth!*
*Pervert!*
*We'll fix you so you can't fuck anyone else!*
The blows landed harder and harder when he suddenly jerked upright in bed shrieking.
Lupin immediately yelled as he grasp his ex-lover. Snape pulled sharply away from him and slammed into Black.
NO! NO! I'M NOT! DON'T! he screamed trying desparatly to get out of the bed. Through pure fear and adrenaline he moved over the animagus and fell hard to the floor. Still in motion he began to crawl as fast as he could to the door.
Lupin had his wand out and slammed the door shut preventing Snape from escaping that route. He then cast impervious charms over the windows in case the terrified man tried to go through the glass.
Black was out of the bed calling to the Potions Master trying to get him to wake up or at least recognize where he was. Helpless, he watched Snape claw at the door trying to get out.
Severus, Severus! It's all right! You're safe! You're in
Albus' rooms at Hogwarts. It's just Remie and Sirius, Black spoke urgently but did not try to touch the wizard. Lupin was now out of bed next to him wringing his hands.
We have to stop him Siri, he's going to hurt himself if we
don't, Lupin said. Black nodded.
Look, he's starting to wear down a bit, he said and they inched closer. Snape was now on his knees huddled against the door, lips moving as he tried to spell the door opened.
Severus, love, it's ok! It's me, Remie! Oh, Sev, it's going
to be just fine, Lupin soothed. He dropped to his knees as he came even closer to the Potions Master. Snape's breath tore out in gasps as he tried to control himself. Eyes tried to focus through tears.
Snape's pathetic whimper was barely audible.
Severus, it's going to be fine. You're safe. Siri and Remie
are right here, love, do you see me? Lupin kept talking gently and watched as black eyes finally found his in recognition.
the longing in his voice hurt. Lupin was finally close enough to touch.
Severus? I want to hold you. It's Remie and Sirius, we just
want to help you, Lupin said as his hand brushed over Snape's shoulder. There was a flinch, but Snape managed to stay in place as both of his companions drew next to him. The werewolf opened his arms and the exhausted wizard fell into the embrace.
Snape twisted into his friend's body trying to get as close as possible as the first sobs broke. Black came from behind and soon the distraught man was sandwiched in between.
Severus, you're safe. It will be all right, Black tried to soothe but the sobbing continued even with all their soft words and gentle hands.
Do you want to go see Albus? Lupin asked desperately grabbing at straws. For the first time Snape reacted, nodding just a little.
Then you'll have to calm down and be good, Black suggested. Snape drew in long shuddering breaths trying to stifle his emotional outburst wanted nothing more than to go to Dumbledore. Lupin rocked slowly as the Potions Master gained some control. They sat huddled together for a few minutes until no more tears fell and Snape's breathing evened out.
There you go Severus, much better. Let's get you back
to bed, Lupin suggested thinking they'd be able to simply put the drowsy wizard to bed. Pulling his head off the werewolf's shoulder hurt, sad eyes blinked back threatening tears.
y-you said I c-could go to Albus, Snape said as his hard-won composure crumbled. He covered his face to hide his distress.
You can, Severus! I just thought you'd be ok and we
wouldn't have to wake him this late, Lupin explained. If possible Snape curled into a tighter ball as guilt piled on top of his despair. If the wizard had been upset before, this was worse. He was shutting down just as he had with the healers several days before.
Dr. James is going to kill us! Black hissed as he tried to convince Snape to let them hold and comfort him.
Let's just get him to Albus, Lupin decided.
n-no, don't w-wake th-the... Snape begged. He didn't want to upset Dumbledore. Black and Lupin stared at each other as the same thought hit both.
The potion, he's reacting to the potion, Black realized. Lupin nodded then turned his attention back to Snape.
Severus? Sev? I think Albus wants to see you, Lupin told the shivering wizard.
Yes, Severus. I'm sure Albus would like to see you, Black picked up the assurance.
Come with us and will have a quick wash-up and go to the
loo. Then we'll all go see Albus, Lupin suggested.
Slowly the miserable ball relaxed slightly and two tear-filled dark eyes glistening in the low light.
Good. Let Remie and I help you Sev. I'll bet we can find
something cool to drink when we get to Albus' room, Black offered, remembering the sleeping draught the Healer left. With many assurances and much cajoling Snape was cleaned up and used the loo. A fresh sleepshirt was pulled out and with a little more convincing he was redressed. Finally they carefully helped him into the Headmaster's bedroom.
Dumbledore heard the door open and slowly sat up. He could hear sniffling and then the calm voice of Lupin assuring someone that it was all right. The Headmaster waved on a light and watched as the werewolf led a reluctant Snape across the room. Black was quick to follow with a cup in his hand.
See, Severus? You didn't wake Albus. He was waiting
for you, Lupin coaxed the shaky wizard closer. Dumbledore wasn't sure what was going on but he swung his legs out of bed and smiled encouragingly at the Potions Master.
Severus? What's wrong? the Headmaster yawned. To his dismay Snape tried to back out.
N-nothing. I-I... S-sorry, the Potions Master eked out and tried to bolt out of the room.
Severus, Albus wants you here, Black said, his voice lilting over the words.
*Wants you here?* Dumbledore thought a moment and then the tumblers clicked into place.
Come here, Severus, I wanted to see you, the Headmaster said as warmly as he could. Snape stopped struggling and eyed the older wizard suspiciously.
Look, Severus, here's a cup of cool juice. Come sit on the
bed by Albus and you can have a nice long sip, Black stood next to the seated Headmaster and held up the cup. With more tugging Lupin finally managed to get Snape across the room and onto the bed.
I'm glad you came to me, Severus, Dumbledore smiled.
Have some juice, Sev, it tastes very good, Black handed the cup to the Headmaster who in turn coaxed Snape closer to him. Noting how hard the Potions Master was shaking he decided to hold the cup and let the exhausted wizard guide it to his lips.
Just sip it slowly, child, Dumbledore encouraged. Snape's nose wrinkled.
Tastes funny, he muttered, but continued to drink.
It's a little blackberry juice, Sev, Black explained.
Needs more sugar, the Potions Master replied as his eyes began to blink sleepily.
Well, we'll call Dobby a little later and have him fix
it sweeter for you, Lupin promised. The cup was moved away and they watched Snape fight the heavy pull of potioned sleep.
he whimpered looking at his mentor.
Then lie down and sleep with me child. I will keep you
very safe, Dumbledore assured him.
Snape agreed. He let Black and Lupin pull back the covers and levitate him into the middle of the bed. Eyes slipped closed as his head snuggled into a pillow. All three wizards waited a few minutes making sure the Potions Master was deeply asleep.
Do I want to know? Dumbledore asked finally. He turned to face the two wizards.
He had a horrendous nightmare and we forgot about the
potion Dr. James had given him earlier. We'd calmed him
down by promising to bring him here to you, Black began.
Then I tried to put him back to bed because he was so
sleepy and he fell apart again, Lupin confessed.
I'm so sorry, Albus. We didn't want to wake you but
Severus was very upset.
We didn't help matters by suggesting we shouldn't wake
you. Merlin, he was so scared! Black blurted out.
Those drugs Dr. James used are very strong, Dumbledore said.
That's why he stayed with Severus to regulate all the
conversations. That's why I was upset when James put
Severus in your bed.
I understand better now, Lupin admitted. The person
taking the drugs is susceptible to both words and intonation.
At the higher doses. At lower doses you can do what
Vachel did: create a functioning slave, Black pointed out. Both Lupin and Dumbledore agreed.
Well, it's four in the morning and I for one want a few more
hours of sleep, the Headmaster yawned.
That sleeping draught will keep Sev asleep at least six
hours, Black said,
so Remus and I will go back to our room for now.
Good. You can check back in around 8 and we'll see how
things are going, Dumbledore said as he climbed back under the covers. In his sleep Snape began to curl closer. The Headmaster simply let the ill wizard nestle into his side.
Night Albus, Black and Lupin said softly.
Night gentlemen, came the reply.