Title: When Harry Left Severus
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.
Chapter 18 - Breakthrough?
by: Raven Dancer
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.
Warning: male/male smooching ahead.
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Black pushed wearily against the door to Dumbledore's offices. He'd spent a long morning with his godson. Damned long. Harry was still ambivalent in his feelings towards Snape. Black was getting a little more than angry with the young man.
So he'd left Harry with Hagrid and Lupin. The half-giant had recently acquired several new creatures including a pair of rosy boas. They'd been very agitated, unusual for the normally placid creatures, and Harry was quickly involved in trying to soothe them. Lupin offered to stay for awhile and encouraged his mate to go rest.
The Animagus was tired. He'd had a difficult time sleeping the night before (blaming it on the coffee Lupin had suggested then not help drink) and the morning NOT arguing with Harry had not helped matters at all. He closed the door and noticed Jeffrey packing up his satchel.
Wonderful! I was hoping you or Remus would come back, the Healer smiled.
I'm off to the clinic. I've just managed to get Severus to
fall asleep again without any potions. Do you mind sitting
with him in case he has a bad dream? Black sighed and looked towards the couch.
I don't mind; I was thinking of a bit of a nap myself, the animagus replied.
Then just slide up next to Sev. He does sleep best with
a warm body next to him. Albus is down sorting out some
problems with a student prank so it'll just be you for awhile, Barnes explained.
Really? A prank? I really should offer to teach an elective
on that, Black smirked.
You should probably push for a full professorship; from
what I've heard you were a master, Barnes retorted, and not necessarily in a pleasant tone. Black had the decency to blush slightly.
Barnes muttered. I have worked with Severus for
years and your pranks were well discussed. I'm just relieved
that you two have really buried the hatchet.
Well, Remus certainly helped us both. And I have been lucky
enough to really get to know Severus this past year. He's
a very... interesting man, Black managed. The tone and choice of word caused Barnes to smirk.
Rather enticing, eh? Barnes teased and Black's blush deepened. The Healer patted his shoulder.
He's a complex man, Sirius. More than deserving of love
and respect. You need to help him accept what's being
offered to him, Jeffrey suggested.
You think he's ready for... encouragement? Black fumbled about looking for the right terminology.
I think you need to tell him privately how you feel about this
relationship Remus wants. The relationship you want. And if
you do a bit more than telling'... well... showing' some
affection wouldn't be remiss, either, Barnes picked up his satchel, which had been shrunk, and tucked it in his pocket.
But I have held him... Black began.
Yes, yes, and kissed him when he was asleep or just waking
up so he's not quite sure of the intent, Barnes jumped in.
You need to leave no doubt in his mind. Once Severus
really knows where he stands with you I think the difficulties
with Albus' over-protection will clear up. Black just shook his head, rubbing his face in disbelief.
Take a nap, Sirius. Rest, Barnes suggested as he went to the door.
Oh, there's a couple soothing potions on the table. Nothing
too strong but just in case. I plan to tell my Da we're cutting
back on the potions. I think Severus is more than capable of
working through his problems if we give him the chance.
Right. Although I'll probably take one myself the way I'm
feeling, the animagus mumbled.
Mmmm? Well, if you really need one use the diazepam. It's
a muggle product but it works quite well to calm frazzled
nerves without the ensnaring properties. One tablet should
do you, Barnes said.
The powder in the envelop is the doxipen-based stuff that
leaves Severus rather vulnerable. But it works well at
stopping his depressive hysteria.
I'm more frazzled than anything else, but I'll try the nap first, Black replied.
Sleep well, Sirius, Barnes said and left the office. Black glanced over at the couch. It had been widened but not enough for two. Slide in? Not possible. But the lounge was wide enough especially if Snape were arranged carefully. Using his wand he levitated the sleeping wizard and after lying down on the lounge Snape was lowered down.
Black sighed as he pulled the blanket over them both. He relaxed into the warmth of his sleeping companion.
Snape woke slowly. He was wrapped snugly against a long lean body. Which was snoring.
Loudly!
Moving carefully the Potions Master was able to nudge his companion and disrupt the noise. Black rumbled and turned carrying Snape with him. He found himself snugged securely under the animagus' chin pillowed against his shoulder.
Sighing Snape struggled slightly getting his arm untangled from the blanket. Finally free he pulled back enough to look at the sleeping man.
Sirius Black was still handsome, the long years in prison and fighting in the trenches under Dumbledore only added to his beauty. Even his hair was lovely and Snape reached up carefully to brush a few strands off his lax face. Soft. Not snarled and greasy as his own was.
Black was also relatively scar-free; there had been opportunities to see the muscular back and somewhat hairy chest at the manor fresh from a swim or stumbling in search of a hot cuppa first thing in the morning. The animagus was not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination!
Snape couldn't blame Lupin for wanting to go back to his mate so readily. There was no comparison: Snape's own too-thin torso was liberally covered with scars. Lashings and beatings from his death eater days and even back to his childhood left many marks. His face had been spared only so there would be no embarrassing questions.
Nothing there to hold anyone's affections. Especially topped with his less than acceptable background. Snape had come to accept he was a good man, an honorable man, from years of counseling with Jeffrey. Having Albus Dumbledore's love and protection certainly reinforced that. But outside of a very small circle of friends most people saw the tattoo and the malicious whispers followed him. Snape had been a superb role-player during all those years and even the death of Voldemort at his own hands did not clear him in the public's eyes.
So there was no way that Lupin or Black would ever look at him for any reason except perhaps pity.
Severus? What's wrong? Your eyes... you look so sad, Black said softly breaking into the Potions Master's depression. Snape startled and stared at his very awake companion.
N-nothing Sirius. Nothing important, the ill wizard managed to mumble. He felt a soft hand running up and down his back as Black tugged him closer.
I think it is important Sev. You can tell me, Black encouraged. Snape moved weakly against the strong body.
Just, just thinking how lucky you and Remus are, Snape blurted out. Black looked at the slight blush on his companion's face. At the melancholy flourishing in his eyes. The animagus was at a loss for words.
So he kissed Snape. A rather chaste thing, gently pressing his lips against the surprised squeak of his companion. Then he carefully shifted his lips, opening slightly to better taste the startled Potions Master.
At first stiff, Snape slowly relaxed into the animagus' welcoming body. Sensing acceptance Black began to place a row of small kisses around his mouth before attempting another full lip lock. The squeaks of surprise were replaced by a interested hum.
Fingers came into play. The animagus kneaded the Potions Master's shoulders as he rolled pulling Snape across his torso. No longer passive Snape's hands moved up into the soft hair that had drawn his attention earlier. Lightly entangling his fingers in the silkiness he moved closer still into the wonderful kiss.
I think, Black said pausing from kissing the armful of Potions Master,
I think Remie and I just got luckier. At the mention of his ex-lover's name Snape went still then tried to push back, fear and shame painted on his face.
S-s-sorry Sirius. I... was as far as Snape got when his mouth was recaptured and penetrated with short thrusts of a warm tongue. With a moan the Potions Master gave into the animagus. After a few moments of slowly cataloguing his companion's mouth Black pulled back.
Severus, Remus and I really do love you. Love... You... Black punctuated the two words with soft kisses to Snape's astonished face.
But you two are mates, Snape managed to gasp as eager lips explored his sensitive brows.
Yes, we committed to each other a year before James
and Lily died and I ended up in Azkaban, Black agreed as his hands moved slowly up and down Snape's back encouraging him to stay close.
But you and Remus were together over twelve years dear
one. Twelve years you took care of my Remus and he took
care of you, the animagus continued.
I love Remus, Snape admitted under the sensual barrage. Black's roving lips traced along his jaw up to his ear and began moving against the sensitive skin just behind it.
This elicited a long moan which was very encouraging to say the least for Black.
Remus loves you Severus. Very... Much... Black murmured as he discovered another extremely sensitive spot on Snape's neck.
He loves you as much as he loves me.
Snape gasped as teeth gently came into play nibbling along his neck. His body began to quiver. Black pulled back and looked into the depthless black eyes.
We want you to be with us, Black said. Snape's moist eyes blinked back tears. No words came but the Potions Master rested his head against the animagus' chest and accepted the comfort offered.
Dumbledore watched Black rock the ill wizard back to sleep, promising to care and protect Snape. As for love, that would go along at a pace comfortable for the Potions Master. Feeling incredibly safe and wanted the ill wizard sighed and began to doze. Neither had noted the Headmaster sitting silently on the couch. The shielding charm had been helpful in that regard!
The older wizard had listened, held himself back when Black first kissed Snape. Finally smiled when his child had rested again secure in the animagus' arms. Perhaps Jeffrey was right; Lupin and Black did love Snape.
Dumbledore knew Snape loved Lupin. He had a sneaky little suspicion Snape might just care about Black, too. The Headmaster suddenly felt a great weight lift off his shoulders he didn't know he'd been carrying. With a distracted wave he ended the charm and stood up.
*Uh oh, this is not going to be good* Black thought to himself as the older wizard suddenly appeared in front of him. Cool blue eyes slowly traveled over the two men nestled together on the lounge.
Dumbledore asked quietly.
Appears to be, Black hedged. The Headmaster nodded and simply walked away leaving the animagus in confusion.
That's it?! Black suddenly called out halting Dumbledore in his tracks.
a carefully tooled query. Black's temper reared up to compensate for his fear.
You stood there and watched me snog with Severus
and you don't say a bloody thing! the animagus snapped.
Should I say something? Dumbledore turned, his eyes sharp, boring into Black's.
No, you really shouldn't Albus, Snape's thin voice cut through the tension and caused both wizards to startle. The Potions Master gave Black a light kiss on his cheek and slowly pushed up gaining his feet unsteadily.
But you can help me to the loo, Snape continued holding a hand out to his mentor. With alacrity Dumbledore was at his child's side supporting him. Black stood and eased his arm around the Potions Master's waist. Together they took care of their friend.
Hey! Remus! Dr. James Barnes called out across the field. He'd spotted the wizard with a group of students who were trudging slowly towards the castle. A friendly drifted back to him accompanied with a broad wave of an arm. Continuing down the path the Healer watched the wizard turn to another adult in the group before running gracefully to join him.
Dr. James, Lupin nodded with a smile as he matched the Healer's pace.
I wasn't expecting you this evening.
I had a house call. Actually a farm call, Dr. James smiled.
I thought I'd stop by to see my favorite patient before
heading home. Where were you off to?
Oh, I spent some time with Hagrid. He has some new
animals. Then I joined his afternoon class on a little trip
to the edge of the forest to gather some moss for a stag
that he's nursing back to health, Lupin replied. They walked together for a moment in silence before several students crossed their paths.
Mr. Lupin? Is Harry Potter going to come down to dinner
tonight? a student asked rather out of breath.
I don't know. He was down with Professor Hagrid at lunch, Lupin began to reply.
Oh, yes, we saw him when we came out! But he went into
the hut before we could talk with him, another student added.
He's rather shy, Lupin started to explain but was met with delighted laughs.
Harry Potter shy? That's not what my uncle said! declared a sixth year Gryffindor.
He gave me a picture of Potter in France at this village pub.
Said he was shaking everybody's hands and chatted the
whole time. Lupin just shrugged.
I don't know if he's coming down. Best get on and wash
up for dinner yourselves! the werewolf encouraged and stopped in by the door with the Healer. They waited until all the students had filed in and disappeared down the hall. Barnes glanced at his companion.
So, should I ask how your time with Harry went? the Healer asked tentatively. Lupin snorted.
Oh, it was fine. Harry's less paranoid since the potions wore
off. He's going to the Ministry to see Vachel's questioning
and arraignment on various charges tomorrow, Lupin explained. Barnes' eyebrow raised.
he pressed. Lupin pretended to look confused by the prompt for a moment then broke down.
And he's trying to decide if he loves Vachel or Severus, the wizard huffed.
Harry thinks he loves Severus? Dr. James asked sharply.
Harry doesn't know what he thinks. He is rather mixed-up
at the moment, Lupin reported as he moved through the door. Barnes followed and was soon walking next to him down the long dim hallway.
Has Harry been up to see Severus? the Healer asked lightly.
Lupin said sharply, then softer, No. Jeffrey doesn't
want him near Severus yet. Probably won't let them get
together until he has time to talk with Severus about all that's
happened. James nodded in agreement.
Yes, you're right. I certainly don't see any reason to let
Harry speak with Severus. Harry needs to figure out Vachel
first, the Healer replied. I don't want him anywhere near
Severus for now! They had come to the Headmaster's passage and were soon on the upward spiral.
Jeffrey shooed us all out this morning. He spent the night
but I thought you were suppose to come for the day! Lupin lightly complained.
Well, Jeffrey wanted to ascertain how Severus was doing
emotionally. No need for both of us to be here, Barnes explained. Lupin sighed.
Grand. After the nightmares and arguing I'm sure he's less than happy with us! the werewolf grumbled.
Severus had nightmares, plural, even with the potions I gave
him? Dr. James asked. He received a strong affirmative.
Jeffrey's not going to be happy with ME then. I have been
very insistent Severus take those potions and he's been
nearly equally insistent Severus should not. If the nightmares
bled through then the dosage will either be doubled or
eliminated totally. If Jeffrey has his way they'll be eliminated.
Maybe he's still here, Lupin said as he pushed on the door into the Headmaster's office. Glancing about they saw Dumbledore pouring out tea at the table. Black was hovering near the bedroom door seemingly watching someone beyond. Together they moved towards the animagus.
So, is Jeffrey still here? Barnes asked.
No, left hours ago. Just waiting on Mr. "I-don't-need-any-
help" to get a hairbrush, Black grumbled.
Impatient mutt, retorted the Potions Master as he emerged from the bedroom, brush in hand, his long hair was going every which way. As Snape pushed past Black, a sneer plastered on his face, he looked up and saw Lupin. The sneer vanished instantly and a shy smile crept over his lips.
Hi Remie, came a much softer voice. Barnes was immediately curious about the change of demeanor. Lupin simply grinned and raised his hand to pat his friend on the back. The Potions Master slipped under the arm and leaned slightly against the startled man.
+hug him!+ Black whispered sharply, snapping Lupin from his surprise. Quickly he gathered Snape into his arms and held tight. He could feel the tremors, a constant reminder of the Potions Master's weakened condition. Lupin gently kissed his forehead.
Hi love, Lupin murmured and was suddenly looking into Snape's dark eyes. He could see some fear and hesitancy but also longing. Longing? Lupin raised an eyebrow in query.
Missed you, came the tentative voice. Lupin lowered his eyebrow trying to figure out what was wrong, what he was missing. Snape's tongue darted out to wet his lower lip before closing his eyes. Finally he sighed and rested his head against Lupin's shoulder.
Black rolled his eyes in exasperation. Dumb fool just missed his chance to kiss Snape. Dr. James smirked and quelled his urge to snicker.
Well, Severus, let me have a scan and then we'll get your
hair brushed out, Barnes smiled broadly and held his hand out to his patient. With a final look of pure desire at Lupin, Snape huffed in frustration and accepted the Healer's lead. Pausing, the werewolf looked at his mate in confusion.
You should have kissed him silly! Black growled crossly.
I snogged with him and survived Albus and you chickened
out! Unable to pursue the conversation, especially with Dumbledore standing so near with a knowing smirk, Lupin simply excused himself and hid in the loo to regroup.