Title: When Harry Left Severus
rating: R for adult themes including male/male relationships.
Chapter 22 - Outcasts
by: Raven Dancer
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes, Daniel Murphy and Beryl. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.
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Harry walked back into the castle deep in thought. In one short walk around the lake Dr. Mir had given him more to think about AND made him feel completely secure talking with her. He'd been very pleased to agree to meeting with her again the next afternoon.
Moving past the Great Hall Harry looked towards the stairs up to Dumbledore's office. Mir had been puzzled why he hadn't been up to see Snape. Certainly the Potions Master may have some issues dealing with seeing Harry again, between the beating and the destruction. But those issues couldn't begin to be resolved until the two got together.
Hmmmm. Vachel had declared his love for Harry, but it was a possessive, controlling love. Severus had said he loved Harry, too. But he sent Harry away, encouraged him to see the world and make new friends.
Snape loved Harry.
The young wizard now stared up the stairs considering his chances. If he could just get to Snape, tell him how wrong he'd been running off with Vachel. Then they could pick up their relationship, build it together.
The notion of returning to Snape, whom Harry was sure missed him a great deal, took hold. Yes, he needed to go straight upstairs and take his rightful place with his love!
Harry purposefully walked up the stairs and soon was facing the gargoyle wondering what the password was. Guessing was going to take some time. Mentally he began composing a list of sweets.
Cherry Truffles... Lemon Drops... Lion Bars... Harry shot out a few random favorites. He was thinking of his next go-round when suddenly the gargoyle swung out. He quickly hid behind it and watched the older Healer leave the opening.
With a quick dive the young wizard was passed the gargoyle and at the base of the stairway. During the ride up he began thinking of ways to get to Snape. He quickly cast aside any notion of being polite and asking permission as he was certain that wouldn't work at all! All those surrounding the Potions Master continually deflected any requests to see him.
No, the direct approach was best. Push into the room and locate the older wizard immediately. The door came up rather suddenly but Harry squared his shoulders and walked in.
To an empty office. He glanced around the room and noticed someone was resting on the couch. Quietly moving across the room he made out the peaceful countenance of Severus.
This was not one of the scenarios he'd thought about! Alone and asleep!! Carefully Harry sat down on the edge of the coffee table and just watched the older man sleep.
Where were his protectors? Harry reached out and stroked loose hair back, fingers tracing eyebrows... nose... lips... Snape's face animated.
*My Severus!* Harry sighed. *MINE!* He knelt next to the waking man and kissed him soundly on the lips. Lips moved against his and he began to probe gently with his tongue. They were just warming into a good snog when Snape slit open his eyes.
the Potions Master exclaimed, pulling back out of the kiss.
Where's Dr. James? Confused the young wizard tried moving towards his lover.
Left. We're all alone, Harry attempted to reinvestigate the kiss. Snape pushed up and moved down the couch.
Harry, what are you doing? Snape asked gently.
I am trying to kiss you, fool, Harry snapped. He plopped down on the couch next to the older wizard.
Snape pursued.
Because I love you and you love me, Harry explained.
the Potions Master stood slowly and walked carefully to the window.
Harry, I do love you, but not as a lover.
How do you know? I've been gone for months! Harry retorted somewhat angry. How could the man be so sure?!
I know. You know, too, if you would stop to think about it, Snape said calmly. Harry stood up and strode over to the wizard, standing toe to toe.
I LOVE YOU! the younger wizard proclaimed as he threw his arms around the Potions Master.
again the gentle tone. Hands cupped his face and forced him to look up into the deep black eyes.
I love you, also. But not as my mate, Snape said firmly. He ineffectively tried to pry Harry off.
You do love me! You are my mate! Harry said raggedly. He pushed against the Potions Master trying to pull him tighter. Unbalanced Snape went over, falling hard onto the ground. Harry landed partially on the man's side and immediately scrambled on top.
I will make you love me! Harry hissed, pulling out his wand. Snape's eyes bore into his, full of sadness. Harry raised his wand higher and jerked it slightly.
IMPER... IMP... Imp... he faltered on the last, his eyes were still locked with Snape's, now filled with fear. The older wizard was pale, and tried to shield his face from the threatened curse..
gods, Severus, I'm sorry, sorry... Harry burst into tears and threw his wand aside. He was immediately fell against the older wizard sobbing. Snape was shaking but attempted to comfort him.
Hands were on them drawing them apart. Harry found himself drawn up to a new set of arms. He realized it was Dr. Mir.
Hullo Harry, she said soothingly. I met up with Jeffrey
before I left and decided I may have made a poor suggestion.
Not poor, Snape managed. Jeffrey had sat down on the floor next to his patient and had pulled him up to lean against him.
Sssshh, Severus. You're safe. Just rest, Barnes said as he scanned for any problems. With a sigh Snape curled against the Healer.
I should have handled that better, the Potions Master murmured. He was still trembling uncontrollably.
I'm so sorry, Harry cried. He clung to the witch.
It will be ok, Harry. You just need to give yourself some
time to heal and think through all that's happened, Mir said as she brought him to the couch. Tissue materialized.
How can it be ok? I nearly cast an imperio curse! I was
going to d-do the same thing to Severus as Vachel did to
me! Harry spat out clearly disgusted with himself.
But you didn't Harry. You stopped yourself, Mir said simply. Harry turned slightly so he could see Snape. The older wizard was tucked tightly against the concerned Healer, eyes closed.
Look what I did to him! He's shaking! The only person who
loved me and now he hates me, Harry said with a hysteric edge. Snape's eyes opened and stared directly into the young wizard's wet green ones.
I do not hate you, Harry. The curse frightened me, I have
been under its effects before. But I do not hate you. I am
only sorry I cannot give you the love you want, Snape shivered as Barnes completely encircle him, arms and legs wrapped tightly as energy was fed in.
ssshh, Severus. I need you to relax. Harry will be fine. Dr.
Mir is simply the best, Jeffrey murmured mostly to his patient as he upped the energy flow. The fall and fear had drained Snape and he wanted the wizard to rest. He didn't have to wait long; the Potions Master sniffed and buried his face in the Healer's shoulder.
Let's get you down to your rooms, Harry. You need to rest
for awhile, Mir said. On one hand it had been a mistake to suggest Harry see his ex-lover. On the other hand the confrontation cleared the way for some meaningful dialog and healing for the young man.
We'll send for your Godfather? Or your friend Hermione? the witch suggested.
Is Mrs. Weasley still here? Harry asked as he sniffed, trying to stop crying. Dr. Mir looked over at Jeffrey.
Yes, she is here. I'm sure one of the house elves would be
happy to find her, Barnes said as he eased Snape into a deeper energy feed.
Let's go Harry. We'll find an elf on the way, Mir stood and held out her hand. Harry looked for a long moment at Snape considering. Then the moment past and he shifted his eyes to his new Healer. Taking her hand he stood and allowed her to lead him out of the room.
Lupin and Black climbed the stairs up to the astronomy tower. They'd fled the Headmaster's rooms as soon as they could.
I've never been so embarrassed! the werewolf muttered.
Geeze, you'd think we'd deliberately hurt Severus, Black added. There was movement near the door to the tower and Dumbledore appeared.
What did you do to Severus?! the Headmaster asked, startling both men.
Nothing! Well, nothing mean or bad! Sirius quickly answered.
Lupin blushed. Dumbledore's frown deepened.
So, you took advantage of him... Before he was well enough
and ready to make a decision, the older wizard said sternly.
We didn't take advantage' of Severus. You know that we
love him and he loves us! Black growled. Dumbledore glared briefly then sighed.
I know you do; but he must be very tired if Dr. James is
upset with you, Albus pointed out.
Severus was so content this morning, Lupin said with a quiet smile.
He certainly did not fight us Albus; we did not force him! Black pointed out.
No one would ever say Severus would docilely comply if
he didn't want to.
Yes, Severus is very good about expressing his opinions,
isn't he? the Headmaster rolled his eyes and opened the tower door. The wind lifted this hair and stirred his robes.
Come on, we'll be safe out here.
Lupin glanced at his mate in askance. Black shrugged and walked outside. The three men stood in silence for a time looking over the school grounds. It was a warm day and the cool wind was inviting.
Looks as if between the three of us we've got the doctors
upset, Lupin offered with a remorseful grin. Albus snorted.
Oh, yes, we've made a complete job of it. I'm sure we're
personas non grata! the Headmaster decided.
Dr. James said we should make ourselves scarce for a few
hours, Black admitted. He perched on the stone battlement while the headmaster sat on the nearby bench. Lupin chose to lean against the wall between them.
Well, we could all commiserate on how we've mucked up, the werewolf said, but perhaps we should plan our trip to the manor tomorrow. This was agreed to and they began to discuss their trip.