To Kill, or Not to Kill
I woke up again the next morning. Sage and Leon weren't up yet, or at least they weren't in the clinic. Ramza was still sleeping on his pallet, in much worse condition than even I had been. I chalked it up to having a better immune system.
This was a perfect opportunity for me. He's vulnerable, he won't even know if I stab him with my blade. So what if it seems dirty, he was a whole lot dirtier when it came to my little brother. The heretic deserves everything I give him. Even if his allies find out and take me down, I don't care. As long as Izlude is avenged, I will gladly die.
So I walked over to my equipment, and picked up Save the Queen from the pile. Wielding it in both hands, I held it over Ramza's body. I lifted the blade high over my head, and proceeded to bring it down onto his neck.
Just then, something stopped me. It wasn't Sage or Leon coming into the clinic and seeing me, it was something I couldn't define. For some reason my arms were unable to deliver the fatal blow to my enemy. This has never happened before in my life.
Thinking I would need some fresh air to clear my mind, I stepped outside for a minute. I didn't get far before I saw Tess. From what I've heard from Sage, she's really gullible and naïve. Perfect, I won't have to worry about her figuring anything out from what I say to her. Whatever suspicions she gets will be easily thrown out with a convincing lie.
"Good, you're feeling better," she said, "I hate seeing people sick. Ramza is really starting to worry us all. He's never been this bad before. And I remember the time he got the flu and we had to spend a whole week at the inn in Gariland."
"I just have a good immune system, that's all. Hey, Tess. . .can I ask you a question. It's really important," I told her.
Tess replied, "Shoot. I'm all ears."
I looked her square in the eye. "Well, I have this friend, it's not me. And her brother was murdered by this guy, it's not Ramza. She found her way into this guy's company, and luckily escaped. Later on, she found him again in a moment of weakness, but for some reason, she isn't able to give him the death he deserves for what her did. Do you know what is wrong with me. . .I mean, my friend?"
"Well, I'm no expert in these matters," Tess admitted, "But it sounds like your friend has a really bad problem on her hand."
"What should she do? She wants to avenge her brother, but there's something inside of her that tells her not too. She's been having strange dreams too," I continued.
Tess then stated, "It sounds like her heart and mind are at war with each other. Now I may be a romantic at heart, so this advice might be a little skewed. If I were that girl, I would follow what my heart says. After all, your mind can easily be fooled by what people or society tells you, but your heart always knows the right way to go."
I smiled. "Thank you Tess. You seem to know a lot about the heart."
"I'm extremely gullible," she told me, "At least, that's what the others say to me. So I know my mind can be fooled much easier than most. Thus my heart has become my greatest weapon to keep me on track. Ramza thinks in much the same way. He knows you will never do him any real harm, that you might be a Shrine Knight, but you're not with the demons."
"How do you know I'm a Shrine Knight?" I inquired.
Tess said, "My heart told me that you were a confused soul, looking to discover what is right. Society says one thing, but your heart knows the true answers Meliadoul. Ramza didn't kill your brother - - whoever he is - - unless he was a demon. And if he was a demon, then he was no longer himself, and was saved from slavery through his death."
I looked shocked. "Izlude was no demon! He was an innocent boy who was cruelly murdered at Riovanes Castle when he went there on a mission."
"Izlude eh?" asked Tess, "I remember him. Poor kid was tricked and fooled into doing the demon's dirty work while being uninformed of their true plans. Then he was murdered by his own superiors, all because he saw what they really were and decided to stop them from killing innocents. If he hadn't fought, many more may have died at Riovanes. Your brother brought time for many people to escape Lucavi's wrath. We buried him in the cemetery behind the castle and honored his valiant sacrifice. None of us will ever forget him."
"I still can't believe all of this. I need time to think," I whispered.
Tess replied, "Take all the time in the world to sort out what you want to believe. We don't force people to come with us. But if you want to avenge Izlude's death, and kill his real murderer, come with us and we'll hunt for those demon spawn together."
I told her I'd think about it. She was silent, but I knew that she would wait for me to sort things out. Truth is, I was starting to really think she and Ramza were in the right. But how could a dangerous heretic be the good guy, and the church be the bad guy?
So I left and headed back to Bervenia. Tess told me that Ramza and his comrades were bound for Bethla Garrison to talk to Orlandu. Then they would come back the way they came and try to see if Alma was taken to Limberry Castle by Marquis Elmdore. If I wanted, I could meet up with them in Bervenia when they arrived. That would give me plenty of time to consider what Tess had told me about following my heart, and sort out my beliefs. Hopefully, it would be enough.
- - - -
I know the "I have this friend" gag is overplayed, but I was going for testing the extent of Tess's naivete. The part about Ramza getting ill in Gariland happened sometime in the year between chapters 1 & 2, when he was with Gafgarion, in case you're curious.
I woke up again the next morning. Sage and Leon weren't up yet, or at least they weren't in the clinic. Ramza was still sleeping on his pallet, in much worse condition than even I had been. I chalked it up to having a better immune system.
This was a perfect opportunity for me. He's vulnerable, he won't even know if I stab him with my blade. So what if it seems dirty, he was a whole lot dirtier when it came to my little brother. The heretic deserves everything I give him. Even if his allies find out and take me down, I don't care. As long as Izlude is avenged, I will gladly die.
So I walked over to my equipment, and picked up Save the Queen from the pile. Wielding it in both hands, I held it over Ramza's body. I lifted the blade high over my head, and proceeded to bring it down onto his neck.
Just then, something stopped me. It wasn't Sage or Leon coming into the clinic and seeing me, it was something I couldn't define. For some reason my arms were unable to deliver the fatal blow to my enemy. This has never happened before in my life.
Thinking I would need some fresh air to clear my mind, I stepped outside for a minute. I didn't get far before I saw Tess. From what I've heard from Sage, she's really gullible and naïve. Perfect, I won't have to worry about her figuring anything out from what I say to her. Whatever suspicions she gets will be easily thrown out with a convincing lie.
"Good, you're feeling better," she said, "I hate seeing people sick. Ramza is really starting to worry us all. He's never been this bad before. And I remember the time he got the flu and we had to spend a whole week at the inn in Gariland."
"I just have a good immune system, that's all. Hey, Tess. . .can I ask you a question. It's really important," I told her.
Tess replied, "Shoot. I'm all ears."
I looked her square in the eye. "Well, I have this friend, it's not me. And her brother was murdered by this guy, it's not Ramza. She found her way into this guy's company, and luckily escaped. Later on, she found him again in a moment of weakness, but for some reason, she isn't able to give him the death he deserves for what her did. Do you know what is wrong with me. . .I mean, my friend?"
"Well, I'm no expert in these matters," Tess admitted, "But it sounds like your friend has a really bad problem on her hand."
"What should she do? She wants to avenge her brother, but there's something inside of her that tells her not too. She's been having strange dreams too," I continued.
Tess then stated, "It sounds like her heart and mind are at war with each other. Now I may be a romantic at heart, so this advice might be a little skewed. If I were that girl, I would follow what my heart says. After all, your mind can easily be fooled by what people or society tells you, but your heart always knows the right way to go."
I smiled. "Thank you Tess. You seem to know a lot about the heart."
"I'm extremely gullible," she told me, "At least, that's what the others say to me. So I know my mind can be fooled much easier than most. Thus my heart has become my greatest weapon to keep me on track. Ramza thinks in much the same way. He knows you will never do him any real harm, that you might be a Shrine Knight, but you're not with the demons."
"How do you know I'm a Shrine Knight?" I inquired.
Tess said, "My heart told me that you were a confused soul, looking to discover what is right. Society says one thing, but your heart knows the true answers Meliadoul. Ramza didn't kill your brother - - whoever he is - - unless he was a demon. And if he was a demon, then he was no longer himself, and was saved from slavery through his death."
I looked shocked. "Izlude was no demon! He was an innocent boy who was cruelly murdered at Riovanes Castle when he went there on a mission."
"Izlude eh?" asked Tess, "I remember him. Poor kid was tricked and fooled into doing the demon's dirty work while being uninformed of their true plans. Then he was murdered by his own superiors, all because he saw what they really were and decided to stop them from killing innocents. If he hadn't fought, many more may have died at Riovanes. Your brother brought time for many people to escape Lucavi's wrath. We buried him in the cemetery behind the castle and honored his valiant sacrifice. None of us will ever forget him."
"I still can't believe all of this. I need time to think," I whispered.
Tess replied, "Take all the time in the world to sort out what you want to believe. We don't force people to come with us. But if you want to avenge Izlude's death, and kill his real murderer, come with us and we'll hunt for those demon spawn together."
I told her I'd think about it. She was silent, but I knew that she would wait for me to sort things out. Truth is, I was starting to really think she and Ramza were in the right. But how could a dangerous heretic be the good guy, and the church be the bad guy?
So I left and headed back to Bervenia. Tess told me that Ramza and his comrades were bound for Bethla Garrison to talk to Orlandu. Then they would come back the way they came and try to see if Alma was taken to Limberry Castle by Marquis Elmdore. If I wanted, I could meet up with them in Bervenia when they arrived. That would give me plenty of time to consider what Tess had told me about following my heart, and sort out my beliefs. Hopefully, it would be enough.
- - - -
I know the "I have this friend" gag is overplayed, but I was going for testing the extent of Tess's naivete. The part about Ramza getting ill in Gariland happened sometime in the year between chapters 1 & 2, when he was with Gafgarion, in case you're curious.