by Julimond
Title: A mother's determination
Author: Julimond (that's me)
Rating: PG-13 - for violence
Disclaimer: Joss owns it all. I do not.
Author's Note: Set after Season 4, although it could as well be set at some later time. Dawn Free Zone here!
"Spencer, get up! Visitor for you." Who could that be? The only person to visit me, Kate Lockley, was in San Francisco as far as I knew. "Move it! Time is precious." Actually I liked being left alone, gave me more time to think. It took me two months getting out of the self-pity phase and to begin thinking about my victims. I wrote long letters to the families of Finch and Professor Wirth, to Cordelia and Wesley. They came back - "return to sender" - only Wesley wrote a small note: "God forgives, I don't." Very funny.
As I lazily follow the female guard I can see the setting sun through one of the windows. So Angel is not my mysterious visitor, the summer is the wrong season for his visits. Well, I'll be here many winters; he promised to take some time and come to see me then. Why couldn't he just kill me? Would have made everything so much simpler. A second slayer would be out there, helping Buffy, instead of rotting away in a state prison. "Get in here", the guard yells at me, holding open the door to the visiting room. But she doesn't take the handcuffs off as she would do if Kate was the visitor. I stare at her, nod my head to the cuffs, not quite getting the point in keeping them on - there's a plastic pane between me and the visitor anyway - but she simply stares back and continues to hold the door open. Anyway, I'm not gonna beg. I enter the room handcuffed.
There are only a few minutes of visiting time left and I am the only one on my site of the pane. "Number six", I hear the guard calling, before she slams the heavy steel door and locks it. Arriving at booth six I am surprised who my visitor is. She looks worried, like she hasn't slept for a few days. My heartbeat speeds up, I wanna scream at her to tell me what's wrong, does it have anything to do with Buffy? But the old tough girl facade comes up again: "Hey Lady, you look like I feel. And that's no compliment." Joyce doesn't smile, actually there's no reaction at all.
"How are you, Faith?" - "A meal three times a day, endless time just lying in bed, I can't complain really. Are you here to make smalltalk?" - "How are you treated?" - "They leave me alone, I was given a solitary cell after I got into one tiny fight with my cellmate." What is she doing here, I ask myself and it gets harder and harder sitting here calmly. It must be something bad, otherwise she wouldn't be sitting there, not saying a word and simply staring at me.
"So, what's up?" Unconsciously I have gotten up, would really like to shake her to bring her out of her lethargic state. "Spencer, sit down!", a voice from the speaker confirms that we are being watched. "I need your help." - "Lady, I tried to kill you. I tried to kill your daughter. And in case you didn't notice: I am the one in the orange jumpsuit which doesn't make you look any thinner." Still the old Faith, lashing out at people who were good to her, just to cover up her own insecurities and fear.
Joyce doesn't seem to register what I am saying. "Buffy has been kidnapped." My mouth is suddenly dry, I can't think of any smart-ass response. "It was a trap, too many different demons. She didn't have a chance. The leader is a Zolpan-demon, do you know anything about them?" I nod, Angel send me some books so I could at least continue my slayer education on a theoretical level. A Zolpan-demon feeds of the pain, fear and anguish of his victims. My stomach turns as Joyce continues. "A slayer is his ideal victim. He keeps her alive, just a step from death." I don't want to hear this. Again I get up, turn my back to her. Joyce continues: "He also feeds off my anguish. Every day I am sent pictures depicting the tortures Buffy has to endure." - "Spencer, sit down!", the speaker comes to life again. Meanwhile I am pacing in the big room to avoid seeing Joyce's pain-filled face. The walls come up again, I don't want any of this pain to touch me: "Why is that my problem? Aren't there enough other people who can help? Let Willow do a spell so Angel can save her. He's good at playing the hero." I sit down again. Joyce's voice becomes even more broken and even I can barely hear her: "Willow is dead."
Finally the whole seriousness of the situation hits me: Buffy will not get out of this one. Not without help. The opponent is too strong. "Angel wants to help, but he refuses to commit suicide. That's what Wesley says, Angel himself refuses to take my calls." I have gone back to pacing as she calls me: "I want you to take a look at this." She takes some polaroids from her purse and puts them against the pane, one by one. "Day one. Day two. Day three." My handcuffs snap, but I don't notice. "That's enough. I don't want to see this!" Joyce puts the pictures away and whispers: "Today is day seven."
We stare at each other for a long time. Finally I nod. "Okay. Now?" - "Now." Joyce gets up from her chair and moves to one of the corners of her room. It takes all of my slayer powers to yank one of the chairs from the floor. Actually I have to rip out a whole piece of concrete, too. This helps as I attack the pane, which gives way under the very first strike. The speaker comes on again, but I don't hear if the message is intended for me or the other guards. One guard on the other side of the door is sent into dreamland with one punch. As I move through my new home I don't realize it's a small wonder none of the steel doors are locked. We don't encounter any guards but the one on the door to the garage where Mrs. Summers car is probably waiting. He pulls out his gun and I get down on my knees, pretend to give up and let him cuff me before he is also knocked out. They should've learned handcuffs can't hold me by now.
Joyce races out in the direction of a full moon. "They're going to shoot us!", I realize as my mind begins to work properly again and I remember the guards in the towers. "No they won't. Money took care of that." The second she ends that sentence the back window is broken by a bullett and we can hear them shooting at us. "Sure it was enough?" - "I didn't expect them to actually hit the car, but we agreed that they had to shoot at us." We make the getaway semi-safely and change the car in the next town. "Wow, you really planned this." - "Never underestimate the length to which a mother will go to save her only child." The look on her face almost scares me - so determined, so unforgiving. If she had the power to kill this Zolpan she would hack him to pieces until you could feed him to guppies.
"Where are we going?" - "Lincoln. One of the few traces Giles and I could find. A decca who took part in the abduction apparently lives there. Probably with some brothers of his." - "What's a decca?" - "A demon from another dimension. Mean, intelligent killers. About the worst you can ever hope to encounter." - "How far is Lincoln?" - "Twohundred miles." Of course I can get no rest as I try to sleep. The adrenalin is pumping, I'm in full slayer mode. "This must be it." We are still outside Lincoln, one lonely house on a hill overlooks the plains. It reminds me of the Bates Motel and what I will find inside will probably not be more pleasant.
"Do you recognize this one?" Joyce almost smiles as she reaches in the trunk and takes out a very long, very heavy and very deadly weapon. "The sacred sword of Ebenburg!" Buffy and I only got to practice on this one when we had been really good. Giles feared its devastating power in the hand of a slayer. "I trust you will need this. When you go in there, kill as many of the deccas as you can. They all know where Buffy is held, so you only have to keep one of them alive. Do what you have to do to get the information you need. I will be waiting right here. Are you ready?" I slowly nod, grab the longsword with both hands and begin my climb to face possible death.
Crashing through a window I begin to dispose of these eight-foot monsters at once. The sword cleanly cuts off one arm and decapitates another one of the deccas before I get kicked in the back and find myself about thirty feet from where I last stood, crushed against a wall. Joyce wasn't joking when she warned me they were strong. The fight is one big blur as I finish them off one by one. After the fourth or fifth I realize my left leg is broken, the seventh breaks some rips and for a moment I consider getting the hell out of there. But in that split-second the image of Buffy on the third day comes floating to my mind and a renewed vigour helps me kill the next two and seriously wound the last one. "Now, let's play question-and-answer, should we?" - "Who are you? What do you want?" - "Where's Buffy?" - "The slay-ayer? But ..." He is slowly crawling away from me and I bring the sword down beside his head, creating some sparks. "Where - is - she?" - "Well, in Sunnydale, I suppose ..." - "He is holding her in Sunnydale?" - "What do you mean, he is holding her? All I know ..." As I get ready to bring down the sword again to make my point a tentacle shoots out from his leg and pushes me just slightly off balance. But it's enough so that the sword doesn't hit the floor but cleanly splits his skull. Damn, that's probably not what he intended, but it sure isn't what I intended either.
The car is gone. The car is gone! I momentarily forget the pain in my leg as my brain slowly processes the possibility of another trap. The Zolpan sacrificed the deccas to get his hands on Joyce. Now he can torture Joyce to cause Buffy anguish and torture Buffy ... Great Faith, just great. You stupid, stupid, stupid, unworthy slayer. Someone like Buffy would have used her brain first, she would have protected one of the nicest persons you ever got to know. And what does Faith have now? One very tiny bit of information, another kidnap victim and a broken leg. And no apparent way to get to Sunnydale and do something about it. Sometimes I hate myself.
It takes me twenty minutes to hobble my way into town. I'm glad it's still dark, I must look a total mess, covered in green (the deccas) and red (my own) blood, using a sword as a crutch. Finally something goes right when a man clearly too drunk to drive stumbles to his car and unlocks it. After I knocked him out as painless as possible I get in and thank god it's an automatic. I'm on my way to Sunnydale.
It's seven A.M. as I knock on Giles' door. I just continue knocking till he opens up. "Giles, listen ... ahm." One very sleepy looking fella is looking back at me. "I am looking for my uncle Rupert Giles. It's kind of urgent." - "Goodness! Girl, are you alright? Shall I call the ambulance?" - "No, I'm fine. Well, not really, but my uncle will take care of that. Where is he?" - "He's the owner of the Magic Shop and also lives there. I think I have the address somewhere." Seconds later he hands me a piece of paper. "Do you really think it's a good idea to ..." - "Thanks. Bye."
"Come on Giles, open up!", I mumble to myself as the door suddenly opens and I crash down on the floor. Obviously I had been leaning on the door but didn't realize it. Maybe hospital would be a good idea now. "Faith", he gasps. "You escaped?" - "Yes", I grunt, slowly picking myself up without any help from him. "And why in all the places did you come here?" - "Joyce was kidnapped." - "What?" - "I was with her and then I left her, didn't protect her and she was kidnapped." The tears are making a move but I can hold them back - for now. "God, I suck." - "You kidnapped Joyce?" - "Are you crazy? Of course not. Must have been that Zolpan." - "A Zolpan demon kidnapped Joyce while you were with her." - "That's the point. I wasn't with her. I fucked up again." - "So how do you know?" - "It's an assumption. But I do have a point, don't I?" He looked at me like I had gone even more insane than he had last seen me. "Okay, we'll check this first and then I will take you to the police."
"Is that your car?", he motioned to the stolen Ford. "Today it is, yes." Giles sighed. "Well, I don't have a car at the moment, so it will have to do. Give me the keys." He drove like the devil and in almost no time we arrived in front of the Summers' house. "Your leg is broken." - "Yes." He finally showed some pity. "Let me help you. Put your arm over my shoulder - like that - and I'll ... that's better, right?" After my nod, we moved up the stairs and stood intertwined in front of the door. Giles knocked three times.
Holding a piece of toast, she opened the door. My jaw dropped down so hard it would have hit the floor but for the fist which stopped its way. "What have you done to Giles?" Smiling hurt, Buffy probably seriously bruised my jaw, but I just couldn't stop. Lying on the floor a few feet from the stairs which I had just been knocked down from I smiled up at my fellow slayer. She was waiting to get another punch in, but Giles stopped her: "Buffy! We can deal with her later. Where is Joyce?" - "I'm here Rupert." Joyce came out to the porch and time stopped. Buffy was unsure what to do and just stood, glancing at her mother, who was staring wide-eyed at me, and back at me; Giles tried to make sense of the whole situation and Joyce couldn't believe I was alive. As for myself, I didn't understand why Buffy was here at her home, seemingly unharmed, just like her mother, but I knew I was completely happy. I hugged Buffy's knees - the highest I could reach from my position - and babbled again and again "You're alive and well. You're alive and well" until I finally passed out.
When I came to, I was lying on the sofa inside the house and a heated discussion was going on. I decided to keep my eyes closed. "Why would you help Faith escape from jail? So that she gets another ten years when she is captured again? Why, mom?" - "I had to do it", came the stoic voice of her mother. "That's no answer. I know she did terrible things, she did terrible things to you, she threatened you, but I never suspected you would risk your own safety to stomp her even deeper into this shithole she created herself." - "Watch your language, young lady." - "Watch your language? That's all you have to say?" Buffy was ready to keep on fuming, but Giles interrupted her: "I think I have a general idea what happened. It was about the deccas, right Joyce?" Joyce must have nodded, cause Giles continued: "You stole the sword of Ebenburg?" - "Stop", Buffy interfered. "What are deccas?" - "A very dangerous type of demon. I was told by the council they were here for no other reason than to kill you. They are from another dimension which has been taken over by demons and were sent here to establish the equilibrium again. One slayer on earth at any time. Of course they favored a slayer in jail. I was about to tell you." - "He told me a week ago", Joyce began explaining. "And he added you would not stand a chance. They were too strong, too fast, too many. Then he added: Maybe Faith would have a chance to kill at least a few of them." - "Why should she have a chance if I don't have one?" - "Buffy, she has always been the stronger of you two. Even with very little formal training she could take you. Slayers are chosen for different reasons we don't really know. But they include some categories in which Faith wouldn't score very highly, like resisting temptations and telling good from bad. But she made up with an extraordinary talent to fight. Whenever I watched you train, it was all just a game to her, while you were fighting at full strength." - "But I was winning almost all of the time." - "Because you loved it so much. And she loved to see you happy. So she let you win. Not easily, but eventually she gave you the chance to defeat her." Buffy was pissed off at that revelation, the memories of that fights brought a smile to my face which I couldn't suppress. "But even when we were fighting for our lives I won." Everyone fell silent.
"You mean ... she let me win?" - "Buffy ... Buffy, I wasn't there, I didn't see what happened, but I can't believe you would win a fight against an armed Faith if she didn't want you to. She wanted you to win." Of course he was right. It would have been so easy to stab her, but that's not how it was meant. Not how it was planned in my mind. The silence was explosive. Joyce continued: "I helped Faith escape so she could take out some deccas. Maybe you could take on the rest with a little help from Willow and Angel." - "You wanted her to die!", Buffy realised. "I didn't want her to die, Buffy. I am not David and Faith is not Urija. Anyway", she continued as Buffy obviously didn't get the bible reference, "it would just eventually happen. A slayer who dies fighting demons. Why are you so upset?" - "You never asked me how I felt about it. You wanted to trade in Faith's life for mine. Maybe I wouldn't want that. But that never came to your mind, did it?" The ensuing silence was broken by Giles. "How did you convince Faith to break out of jail?" Joyce hesitated, but finally admitted: "I told her Buffy had been kidnapped by a Zolpan demon and only she could save her. That was all it took." - "Really?" - "Buffy, I know I am just your mom, but I have eyes. When I first saw Faith she was already in love with you. And that never changed, even when she took a walk on the dark side there was always this warmth in her eyes when she looked at you. She would chop off her right arm to save you and yes, she would die for you. She would even live for you, spent the rest of her life in jail."
Buffy's voice was tearfilled as she replied: "You saw that in her but you never realized I felt the same way about her. Why didn't we idiots ever tell each other?" - "Well, you told her now", Giles tried to console her. "Yeah, it's easy when she is in cloud cuckoo land." - "I don't think she is." Okay, so Giles saw the smile. I open my eyes and smile at Buffy: "I do. Love you." - "You are probably so pissed at all of us." I tell her the truth: "No, B., I'm just happy." My head spins a bit as I move into a sitting position and before I realize what's going on, Buffy's lips are on mine. It takes a while before we break the kiss.
The look on Joyce's face says it all: This is not why she risked her freedom. Buffy softly strokes my face and tries to convince herself as much as me: "We'll get through this. Somehow we will get you out of jail. The legal way." - "Well, the legal way should prove impossible", Giles discourages us. "But we have to do something to protect Joyce from getting arrested. The easiest thing would be for Willow and Tara to do a spell. And they will probably find it easier to erase the whole memory of a Faith Spencer in the prison system than erasing special incidents. The council has already indicated they are content with Faith's progress and don't see the need of a reeducation any more. You will most probably be allowed to stay in Sunnydale." It was all like a dream to me, Buffy's beaming face making it all so much better. Someone to share the happiness with. She moved in for another kiss. As she broke it, she accidentally brushed my left leg and I let out a soft wimper.
"We better get you to a hospital right now, but when you return ..." She leaned forward and whispered something in my ear. Since I was twelve I haven't blushed because of a sexual proposal but then again she always surprises me.