Chapter Three
"Who needs underwear anyway?"
"Don'tlookattheelfdon'tlookattheelf" Samantha looked inside the box, and repeated her test, glad to be doing something that kept her from seeing.him. He was sooooo gorgeous! It is the normal attraction of looking at beautiful things, she assured herself. She liked to look at beautiful women, and children, and beautiful sunsets as well. Perfectly natural. "Well, I don't think you could get better quality naquida. Fourteen and a half kilos of it. That is twice what we have already, Sir."
"Good job, Carter," O'Neil glared. "How about you drive up the price even more?"
The Elf laughed. "I don't need naquida. I am happy to part with it. If you plan to use it to destroy the Gou'ld - then my price will be small."
Colonel O'Neil looked at him, interested. "How small?"
Trolls eyes fell on Samantha. Instinctively she stepped back and caught her breath.
"I chose four items to trade for this naquida. Four things - one from each of SG1. From Major Carter, I will settle for her underclothes."
O'Neil tried to hide his smirk, but the others grinned - and then seeing Carter's face- they quickly hid their smiles.
"No way," she said.
"OK, time out," the Colonel said imperiously, forming the referees "time out" sign with his hands. He nodded to Troll, "Excuse us a minute."
"Of course."
The Colonel gathered the SG1 team together, and moved just out of Trolls hearing. "Carter, I can't order you to give up your." he gestured, "you know."
"I know, Sir."
"Right."
There was an uncomfortable silence while Sam thought it over. Obviously, it was very little to ask for. But it was the principal of the thing.
"Do you think he would take mine, instead?" Jonas asked innocently.
Teal'c added, "I have gone many times without such garments. He could have mine, as well."
"Okkk..ayyy." O'Neil smiled widely, deciding not to go there. "For crying out loud! I think you guys are missing the point. I don't think Troll is interested in either of your.." He gestured again, unable to quite say the word.
"Oh all right, he can have them," Sam snarled, giving up. "But I will give them to him in a brown paper bag, and none of you get to see them!" She stormed off to a room to change.
As she left the Colonel said murmured softly, "Do you think Troll will put them in a display case next to the bikini?" he asked with genuine interest.
"I heard that!" Sam turned hotly. "Oh, crap! I can see it now." She stopped to think it over, and began to grin, speaking to herself out loud, "What did you do today, Sam, for your country? I gave a stranger my underwear. He will probably put them in a display case for everyone to see." "Wow! Good for you! Above and beyond the call of duty!" She suddenly realised something and gave a "look" to the Colonel. "How are we going to write this in a report to General Hammond?"
O'Neil shrugged.
"Well, I'll do it - but you get to write the report."
"Double crap!" O'Neil frowned. If he was having trouble saying it - he sure was going to have trouble writing it. "OK, Carter - you win." But he still planned to find out if Troll intended to display them. He wasn't going to miss that. I wonder what colour they are? he thought fleetingly.
They waited patiently for Sam's return. "OK, what else?" O'Neil asked Troll, once Sam handed over the bag.
Troll looked at the Colonel. "I wish to wear your army fatigues. I had thought of Jonas - but I think, Colonel O'Neill, that you and I are closer in size."
O'Neil looked miffed. "And what am I supposed to wear???"
"At least you get to keep your underclothes!" Sam muttered under her breath.
Troll obtained a change of clothes for O'Neill, and shaking his head in disgust the Colonel walked off to change. When he returned he was wearing blue jeans - tight ones- and a black T- shirt, kind of tunic affair. It had no sleeves and seemed designed to show off his upper body. Sam looked twice.
"Don't say a thing," the Colonel warned, holding up an admonishing finger.
"No Sir, of course not, Sir, " Sam said, not quite suppressing a giggle.
Troll took the proffered garments, and nodded. "I think that is enough for one day. It is time for evening meal - and the stars are out." He looked up into the night sky that was clear and bright through the dome. "Let us sleep this night and conclude our business in the morning. You may all enjoy my hospitality, and, if you wish, view more of my collection."
Colonel O'Neil wasn't impressed with the delay, but knew that to complain would be rude - even for him. Besides, this mission was going extremely well. With difficulty he shut his mouth and held back any objection.
* * *
"Who needs underwear anyway?"
"Don'tlookattheelfdon'tlookattheelf" Samantha looked inside the box, and repeated her test, glad to be doing something that kept her from seeing.him. He was sooooo gorgeous! It is the normal attraction of looking at beautiful things, she assured herself. She liked to look at beautiful women, and children, and beautiful sunsets as well. Perfectly natural. "Well, I don't think you could get better quality naquida. Fourteen and a half kilos of it. That is twice what we have already, Sir."
"Good job, Carter," O'Neil glared. "How about you drive up the price even more?"
The Elf laughed. "I don't need naquida. I am happy to part with it. If you plan to use it to destroy the Gou'ld - then my price will be small."
Colonel O'Neil looked at him, interested. "How small?"
Trolls eyes fell on Samantha. Instinctively she stepped back and caught her breath.
"I chose four items to trade for this naquida. Four things - one from each of SG1. From Major Carter, I will settle for her underclothes."
O'Neil tried to hide his smirk, but the others grinned - and then seeing Carter's face- they quickly hid their smiles.
"No way," she said.
"OK, time out," the Colonel said imperiously, forming the referees "time out" sign with his hands. He nodded to Troll, "Excuse us a minute."
"Of course."
The Colonel gathered the SG1 team together, and moved just out of Trolls hearing. "Carter, I can't order you to give up your." he gestured, "you know."
"I know, Sir."
"Right."
There was an uncomfortable silence while Sam thought it over. Obviously, it was very little to ask for. But it was the principal of the thing.
"Do you think he would take mine, instead?" Jonas asked innocently.
Teal'c added, "I have gone many times without such garments. He could have mine, as well."
"Okkk..ayyy." O'Neil smiled widely, deciding not to go there. "For crying out loud! I think you guys are missing the point. I don't think Troll is interested in either of your.." He gestured again, unable to quite say the word.
"Oh all right, he can have them," Sam snarled, giving up. "But I will give them to him in a brown paper bag, and none of you get to see them!" She stormed off to a room to change.
As she left the Colonel said murmured softly, "Do you think Troll will put them in a display case next to the bikini?" he asked with genuine interest.
"I heard that!" Sam turned hotly. "Oh, crap! I can see it now." She stopped to think it over, and began to grin, speaking to herself out loud, "What did you do today, Sam, for your country? I gave a stranger my underwear. He will probably put them in a display case for everyone to see." "Wow! Good for you! Above and beyond the call of duty!" She suddenly realised something and gave a "look" to the Colonel. "How are we going to write this in a report to General Hammond?"
O'Neil shrugged.
"Well, I'll do it - but you get to write the report."
"Double crap!" O'Neil frowned. If he was having trouble saying it - he sure was going to have trouble writing it. "OK, Carter - you win." But he still planned to find out if Troll intended to display them. He wasn't going to miss that. I wonder what colour they are? he thought fleetingly.
They waited patiently for Sam's return. "OK, what else?" O'Neil asked Troll, once Sam handed over the bag.
Troll looked at the Colonel. "I wish to wear your army fatigues. I had thought of Jonas - but I think, Colonel O'Neill, that you and I are closer in size."
O'Neil looked miffed. "And what am I supposed to wear???"
"At least you get to keep your underclothes!" Sam muttered under her breath.
Troll obtained a change of clothes for O'Neill, and shaking his head in disgust the Colonel walked off to change. When he returned he was wearing blue jeans - tight ones- and a black T- shirt, kind of tunic affair. It had no sleeves and seemed designed to show off his upper body. Sam looked twice.
"Don't say a thing," the Colonel warned, holding up an admonishing finger.
"No Sir, of course not, Sir, " Sam said, not quite suppressing a giggle.
Troll took the proffered garments, and nodded. "I think that is enough for one day. It is time for evening meal - and the stars are out." He looked up into the night sky that was clear and bright through the dome. "Let us sleep this night and conclude our business in the morning. You may all enjoy my hospitality, and, if you wish, view more of my collection."
Colonel O'Neil wasn't impressed with the delay, but knew that to complain would be rude - even for him. Besides, this mission was going extremely well. With difficulty he shut his mouth and held back any objection.
* * *