Chapter Five
Look What the Cat Dragged In...
Bob walked up the lawn of Buffy's home. Willow had run ahead and was putting the key in the door. Tara was running along side with bob, While Jay walked along behind muttering something to his monkey.
Just as Willow finished turning the key, The door flew open, and Dawn came screaming. "Where have you guys been? Are you alright?" She say her sister in Bobs arms. "Oh my god! What happened? Is she hurt?" Her thoughts seemed to run across the word 'Again,' and she freaked. Tears began pouring down her cheeks, and she spoke in a voice through a throat that was already choking up. "Is she... Is she..." her voice squeaked, and Willow could tell where her thoughts were.
"No, Dawny, she's gonna be okay. She's just a little hurt, Okay? It's gonna be okay. We just got to get her laid down, alright?" She rushed over to Dawn, who was already crying, And pulled her close. Dawn had her head on her shoulder, and Willow was trying to reassure her. "She going to be okay Dawny." She held her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. "Don't worry Dawn. It'll be okay."
"What's going on? What happened? Are you blokes alright?" Spike asked, coming out of the Summers' Kitchen. He saw Bob come in the front door carrying Buffy's unconscious form. "What in the bleed'n hell's going on?" He asked Willow Moving after Bob.
"We were attacked in the woods on our way home. Group of vampires. Big one. Buffy got hurt. What are you doing here?" Willow shot back at him as he stormed past her towards the Living room couch, where Bob was laying Buffy down.
"Lil' Bit came to me crypt bout ten minutes ago, worry'n her little head that her sis hadn't come home yet. Asked me over. What're these two doing here?" He indicated Bob, who was now standing over Buffy, and Jay, who was closing the door, and walked after Bob. Spike pointed to the two of them, then looked back to Willow with a look of anger on his face. "What are those Twips doing?" His face stayed exactly the same as his eyes kind of moved from Willow to just over her shoulder. "And was he just carrying a monkey?"
"Yeah."
He nodded his head once, and seemed to move on. "Okay."
"We were attacked in the woods, and they helped us." Willow said, now moving over towards the couch which Buffy was on. Tara was kneeling beside her, checking her pulse. Tara looked up to them, and nodded.
"She's going to be okay. See if you can get some smelling salts." Tara said, and Dawn moved to leave the room.
"They helped you?" Spike continued incredulously, looking over the two Jersey Boys with skepticism.
"More like 'saved us.'" Tara said, standing up. She moved closer to Willow and Spike, so as not to be overheard by Jay, Bob or Dawn. "We were ambushed. At least half a dozen of them. I think more. They knew Buffy was the Slayer. They said something about a talisman. They seemed to think that she would have had it. They had us cold. Then they showed up, and..." She trailed off, and looked at Jay and Silent Bob. Jay had sat down on the other couch, with Suzanne sitting next to him. Bob stood at the end of the couch on which Buffy lay, staring down on her with concern. "They were amazing. They had these, um, weapons," she seemed unsure about the use of the word, "And they just tore them up. I mean, they were way out numbered, at least three to one. And they didn't get hit once between 'em. I've never seen anything like it. Well, not outside of a George Lucas film anyway." She looked back to Spike.
He merely looked to Jay, who was scratching himself, and nearly screeched "Them?"
"I know. But you should have seen them." Willow said.
"Here you go, Tara." Dawn said, walking past the Couch Jay and Suzanne sat on, "It took me a while to find it," She began a look of simple concern on her face, facing Tara, with her back to Jay. "I forgot what drawer we kept it in, and was that a Monkey on my couch?"
"Yes, and before you ask, I don't know." Willow interrupted as Tara took the salt and kneeled next to Buffy.
She waved the salt under her nose, and Buffy quickly stirred back into consciousness. She moved about slightly, and Tara held her shoulders. "Buffy, It's okay. You're safe, and home."
Buffy looked around, disoriented for a moment. "Willow..." She muttered.
"I'm fine Buffy." Willow piped in.
"Jay... Bob?" She sputtered out.
"Yeah, they're here. They're fine too." Tara said. Bob looked happy at being mentioned. "Buffy, you should get some rest. Try to sleep."
"What... What happened?" Buffy asked.
Tara seemed to be thinking of how to put it. "Well, The vampires struck, and Jay and Silent Bob Struck Back."
Jay seemed to overhear her. "Boo-ya, Motha Fucka! Dem bitches aint gonna be fuck'n with any yall anymore. Me and Lunchbox done Schooled those little Fucks like a fuck'n Easter Bunny. "
Dawn seemed stunned by the sheer amount of expletives in that little display. She looked to him and said "I have no idea what you just said."
He looked at her and nodded sadly."I get that a lot."
"Wait." Buffy said, bringing herself up to a sitting position with a strong wince of pain. "You guys took them out? All of them?" To which Bob nodded. She seemed to try to get Up, and Bob offered her his hand. She took it with a smile, and he helped her up. "How?"
Bob looked to Jay, Who stood up, and punched his fist into his hand, saying "Like Bad-ass Motha-Fucka's is how! Woulda Made Morris Day and Jerome proud, seeing us in action like that!" He smiled, please with himself.
He put his hands in the Raise-the-roof position. "I say who's house? Say what?" He was raising himself on the balls of his feet, "Run's House! Say what? Who's house? Say what? Run's house!"
One could almost hear the crickets outside when he finished, and the others starring at him was most comical. They turned back to each other. "I think I should get to bed." Buffy said, and as she tried to take a step, she nearly collapsed in pain. 'Nearly', as Bob caught her in his arms. She opened her eyes, and looked into his, and they looked at each other for a frozen moment or two. Spike saw it, and suddenly took an extreme disliking to Bob, Bobs face, and everything remotely having to do with Bob. He suddenly wanted something very bad to happen to him, and was not pleased when Bob put one of Buffy's arms over his shoulder and helped her up the stairs to her room.
"So..." Willow began, Seeming to have a bit of difficulty in even beginning to think of what to say. Tara seemed to be having trouble thinking of what to say. Spike was far too busy being pissed all to Hell to think of something to say. Therefore, the most unimportant matter was addressed.
"Is that your Monkey?" Dawn asked Jay, who had sat down again next to Suzanne.
"Yeah. Actually it's my girlfriend convicts. I stole it from this lab where they was doin experiments on it after my Girlfriend Justice asked me to while I was on this trip to Hollywood to keep a movie about me from being made, cause she was in this animal-cruelty group doin a protest and shit, except she wasn't actually in an animal-cruelty group. She was in dis group of international lesbo jewel thieves, and she was only asking me ta break into this lab to take the fall while she and these other bitches stole the Diamonds, but That was before we fell in love and shit, But when I finally found out she wasn't really dead, she went and gave herself up to the cops and made it so me and Bob could Keep the Susy here, and I'm waiting for her to get out of prison, so we's can go and get married and shit." He nodded and scratched his chin, while they all looked at him with blank stares.
You really could hear the crickets outside this time.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Buffy awoke a few hours later, and felt little better. She got out of bed, and heard voices downstairs. She moved to her door, and walked down the stairs. She walked into the Kitchen to find Jay, Willow, Bob, Dawn, Tara, and Spike sitting around on the various stools, seats, and the occasional counter. Jay was apparently entertaining them with an interesting Anecdote.
"And then Luncheon here looks to the guy in the seat right there, and he says 'No Ticket!'" He finished, chuckling to himself, and the others seem to think it was rather humorous. She noticed that there was a bag of chips opened on the table. She noticed that an unfamiliar six-pack case sat empty near by it. She also noticed that the two people not drinking were Tara and Spike.
Willow turned and saw that Buffy had entered the room. "Buffy!" She said. Dawn spun her head in a dramatic gesture, then hid the bear in her hand under the table. "You shouldn't be out of bed!" Willow said.
"I'm fine." Buffy said, rather angry. "It's Dawn that's about to be near death!" She shouted, still leaning against the wall.
"Oh, come on, Buffy." Dawn said in her defense. "It's just the one, What's the harm? There's not even much alcohol in that."
Buffy considered making a 'cavewoman' comment, but then a thought occurred to her. "Where'd you get the alcohol?"
"Um," Dawn seemed reluctant to answer. "They're Jay's."
"Yeah, and it's like I always said: If God didn't want us to have alcohol," Jay began, "She wouldn't have put it in Beer."
Buffy almost responded to that, but stopped suddenly when the meaning of those words hit her brain. "Whatever. You know what? I don't care. Um, what's going on?"
"Well," Jay answered, "We was just hangin cause Tubby here wanted to wait'n see if you were gonna be okay." Bob seemed to give him a look of annoyance that Jay had said this, than blushed and looked away from Buffy while taking a swig. "But now that you're up going, I guess we're set on that." Buffy looked at Bob wit ha slight shy Smile on her face.
"So I guess if you and Ton-O-Fun are done staring at each other," Jay continued, getting harsh stares from just about anybody, "We can go get us a fuck'n room, eh?" he looked to Bob.
"At this time of night?" Buffy looked to the clock, seeing that it was almost four in the morning. "You aren't going be able to get a room at any of the hotels at this time of night."
"Ah, fuck! Look at this shit!" Jay said, and slammed his beer down on the table. Dawn giggled, showing that even a little alcohol could effect her.
"Well," Buffy said, wondering if what she was about to do was a wise idea. "I guess you could stay here. I mean, those are two of the most comfortable couches known to man. I suppose you could crash here a night or two."
Spike looked out-right explosive at this. Jay looked to Bob, who was trying to control his face. "Sure. That's real cool of ya. We'd try not ta get in ya's way an all." He spoke, moving over to where Bob was standing. "One thing though, who were those guys and all?"
"Well," Willow began. "They were vampires."
At this point, both Jay and Bob seemed to finally get the point that she, and the others were talking about Actual vampires. They looked to Willow, Tara, And then each other. "Oooooookay." He said.
"By the way, Willow." Buffy started. "See if you can figure out anything about that Talisman they were talking about. Freller or something. They seemed to think I had it, and they also seemed to know that I'm the..." She had been wincing as she walked over to the table, and as she sat, she trailed off at the last word. She shot a glance at Jay and Silent Bob at trailing off, and then looked to Willow.
"What da fuck are you bitches babbling about?" Jay blabbered out.
"Would you stop calling us that?" Dawn asked, an angry frown forming on her face.
Jay looked at her and then away, muttering "How bout 'Boo-Boo Kitty Fuck'?" Bob looked at him wide-eyed, smacking Jay's shoulder. He looked at Bob innocently and muttered "What? Worked once."
Willow, Buffy, And Tara, who hadn't been listening, seemed to be having a silent conversation, whose words were frowns and various movements of the Eyebrow. Spike, who had been listening, but didn't give a rats ass, was staring intently at Buffy. Could she be about to tell these two morons her little secret?
Apparently so.
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Reviews Appreciated, Even flames.... (I'm So lonely.;) )
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Look What the Cat Dragged In...
Bob walked up the lawn of Buffy's home. Willow had run ahead and was putting the key in the door. Tara was running along side with bob, While Jay walked along behind muttering something to his monkey.
Just as Willow finished turning the key, The door flew open, and Dawn came screaming. "Where have you guys been? Are you alright?" She say her sister in Bobs arms. "Oh my god! What happened? Is she hurt?" Her thoughts seemed to run across the word 'Again,' and she freaked. Tears began pouring down her cheeks, and she spoke in a voice through a throat that was already choking up. "Is she... Is she..." her voice squeaked, and Willow could tell where her thoughts were.
"No, Dawny, she's gonna be okay. She's just a little hurt, Okay? It's gonna be okay. We just got to get her laid down, alright?" She rushed over to Dawn, who was already crying, And pulled her close. Dawn had her head on her shoulder, and Willow was trying to reassure her. "She going to be okay Dawny." She held her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. "Don't worry Dawn. It'll be okay."
"What's going on? What happened? Are you blokes alright?" Spike asked, coming out of the Summers' Kitchen. He saw Bob come in the front door carrying Buffy's unconscious form. "What in the bleed'n hell's going on?" He asked Willow Moving after Bob.
"We were attacked in the woods on our way home. Group of vampires. Big one. Buffy got hurt. What are you doing here?" Willow shot back at him as he stormed past her towards the Living room couch, where Bob was laying Buffy down.
"Lil' Bit came to me crypt bout ten minutes ago, worry'n her little head that her sis hadn't come home yet. Asked me over. What're these two doing here?" He indicated Bob, who was now standing over Buffy, and Jay, who was closing the door, and walked after Bob. Spike pointed to the two of them, then looked back to Willow with a look of anger on his face. "What are those Twips doing?" His face stayed exactly the same as his eyes kind of moved from Willow to just over her shoulder. "And was he just carrying a monkey?"
"Yeah."
He nodded his head once, and seemed to move on. "Okay."
"We were attacked in the woods, and they helped us." Willow said, now moving over towards the couch which Buffy was on. Tara was kneeling beside her, checking her pulse. Tara looked up to them, and nodded.
"She's going to be okay. See if you can get some smelling salts." Tara said, and Dawn moved to leave the room.
"They helped you?" Spike continued incredulously, looking over the two Jersey Boys with skepticism.
"More like 'saved us.'" Tara said, standing up. She moved closer to Willow and Spike, so as not to be overheard by Jay, Bob or Dawn. "We were ambushed. At least half a dozen of them. I think more. They knew Buffy was the Slayer. They said something about a talisman. They seemed to think that she would have had it. They had us cold. Then they showed up, and..." She trailed off, and looked at Jay and Silent Bob. Jay had sat down on the other couch, with Suzanne sitting next to him. Bob stood at the end of the couch on which Buffy lay, staring down on her with concern. "They were amazing. They had these, um, weapons," she seemed unsure about the use of the word, "And they just tore them up. I mean, they were way out numbered, at least three to one. And they didn't get hit once between 'em. I've never seen anything like it. Well, not outside of a George Lucas film anyway." She looked back to Spike.
He merely looked to Jay, who was scratching himself, and nearly screeched "Them?"
"I know. But you should have seen them." Willow said.
"Here you go, Tara." Dawn said, walking past the Couch Jay and Suzanne sat on, "It took me a while to find it," She began a look of simple concern on her face, facing Tara, with her back to Jay. "I forgot what drawer we kept it in, and was that a Monkey on my couch?"
"Yes, and before you ask, I don't know." Willow interrupted as Tara took the salt and kneeled next to Buffy.
She waved the salt under her nose, and Buffy quickly stirred back into consciousness. She moved about slightly, and Tara held her shoulders. "Buffy, It's okay. You're safe, and home."
Buffy looked around, disoriented for a moment. "Willow..." She muttered.
"I'm fine Buffy." Willow piped in.
"Jay... Bob?" She sputtered out.
"Yeah, they're here. They're fine too." Tara said. Bob looked happy at being mentioned. "Buffy, you should get some rest. Try to sleep."
"What... What happened?" Buffy asked.
Tara seemed to be thinking of how to put it. "Well, The vampires struck, and Jay and Silent Bob Struck Back."
Jay seemed to overhear her. "Boo-ya, Motha Fucka! Dem bitches aint gonna be fuck'n with any yall anymore. Me and Lunchbox done Schooled those little Fucks like a fuck'n Easter Bunny. "
Dawn seemed stunned by the sheer amount of expletives in that little display. She looked to him and said "I have no idea what you just said."
He looked at her and nodded sadly."I get that a lot."
"Wait." Buffy said, bringing herself up to a sitting position with a strong wince of pain. "You guys took them out? All of them?" To which Bob nodded. She seemed to try to get Up, and Bob offered her his hand. She took it with a smile, and he helped her up. "How?"
Bob looked to Jay, Who stood up, and punched his fist into his hand, saying "Like Bad-ass Motha-Fucka's is how! Woulda Made Morris Day and Jerome proud, seeing us in action like that!" He smiled, please with himself.
He put his hands in the Raise-the-roof position. "I say who's house? Say what?" He was raising himself on the balls of his feet, "Run's House! Say what? Who's house? Say what? Run's house!"
One could almost hear the crickets outside when he finished, and the others starring at him was most comical. They turned back to each other. "I think I should get to bed." Buffy said, and as she tried to take a step, she nearly collapsed in pain. 'Nearly', as Bob caught her in his arms. She opened her eyes, and looked into his, and they looked at each other for a frozen moment or two. Spike saw it, and suddenly took an extreme disliking to Bob, Bobs face, and everything remotely having to do with Bob. He suddenly wanted something very bad to happen to him, and was not pleased when Bob put one of Buffy's arms over his shoulder and helped her up the stairs to her room.
"So..." Willow began, Seeming to have a bit of difficulty in even beginning to think of what to say. Tara seemed to be having trouble thinking of what to say. Spike was far too busy being pissed all to Hell to think of something to say. Therefore, the most unimportant matter was addressed.
"Is that your Monkey?" Dawn asked Jay, who had sat down again next to Suzanne.
"Yeah. Actually it's my girlfriend convicts. I stole it from this lab where they was doin experiments on it after my Girlfriend Justice asked me to while I was on this trip to Hollywood to keep a movie about me from being made, cause she was in this animal-cruelty group doin a protest and shit, except she wasn't actually in an animal-cruelty group. She was in dis group of international lesbo jewel thieves, and she was only asking me ta break into this lab to take the fall while she and these other bitches stole the Diamonds, but That was before we fell in love and shit, But when I finally found out she wasn't really dead, she went and gave herself up to the cops and made it so me and Bob could Keep the Susy here, and I'm waiting for her to get out of prison, so we's can go and get married and shit." He nodded and scratched his chin, while they all looked at him with blank stares.
You really could hear the crickets outside this time.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Buffy awoke a few hours later, and felt little better. She got out of bed, and heard voices downstairs. She moved to her door, and walked down the stairs. She walked into the Kitchen to find Jay, Willow, Bob, Dawn, Tara, and Spike sitting around on the various stools, seats, and the occasional counter. Jay was apparently entertaining them with an interesting Anecdote.
"And then Luncheon here looks to the guy in the seat right there, and he says 'No Ticket!'" He finished, chuckling to himself, and the others seem to think it was rather humorous. She noticed that there was a bag of chips opened on the table. She noticed that an unfamiliar six-pack case sat empty near by it. She also noticed that the two people not drinking were Tara and Spike.
Willow turned and saw that Buffy had entered the room. "Buffy!" She said. Dawn spun her head in a dramatic gesture, then hid the bear in her hand under the table. "You shouldn't be out of bed!" Willow said.
"I'm fine." Buffy said, rather angry. "It's Dawn that's about to be near death!" She shouted, still leaning against the wall.
"Oh, come on, Buffy." Dawn said in her defense. "It's just the one, What's the harm? There's not even much alcohol in that."
Buffy considered making a 'cavewoman' comment, but then a thought occurred to her. "Where'd you get the alcohol?"
"Um," Dawn seemed reluctant to answer. "They're Jay's."
"Yeah, and it's like I always said: If God didn't want us to have alcohol," Jay began, "She wouldn't have put it in Beer."
Buffy almost responded to that, but stopped suddenly when the meaning of those words hit her brain. "Whatever. You know what? I don't care. Um, what's going on?"
"Well," Jay answered, "We was just hangin cause Tubby here wanted to wait'n see if you were gonna be okay." Bob seemed to give him a look of annoyance that Jay had said this, than blushed and looked away from Buffy while taking a swig. "But now that you're up going, I guess we're set on that." Buffy looked at Bob wit ha slight shy Smile on her face.
"So I guess if you and Ton-O-Fun are done staring at each other," Jay continued, getting harsh stares from just about anybody, "We can go get us a fuck'n room, eh?" he looked to Bob.
"At this time of night?" Buffy looked to the clock, seeing that it was almost four in the morning. "You aren't going be able to get a room at any of the hotels at this time of night."
"Ah, fuck! Look at this shit!" Jay said, and slammed his beer down on the table. Dawn giggled, showing that even a little alcohol could effect her.
"Well," Buffy said, wondering if what she was about to do was a wise idea. "I guess you could stay here. I mean, those are two of the most comfortable couches known to man. I suppose you could crash here a night or two."
Spike looked out-right explosive at this. Jay looked to Bob, who was trying to control his face. "Sure. That's real cool of ya. We'd try not ta get in ya's way an all." He spoke, moving over to where Bob was standing. "One thing though, who were those guys and all?"
"Well," Willow began. "They were vampires."
At this point, both Jay and Bob seemed to finally get the point that she, and the others were talking about Actual vampires. They looked to Willow, Tara, And then each other. "Oooooookay." He said.
"By the way, Willow." Buffy started. "See if you can figure out anything about that Talisman they were talking about. Freller or something. They seemed to think I had it, and they also seemed to know that I'm the..." She had been wincing as she walked over to the table, and as she sat, she trailed off at the last word. She shot a glance at Jay and Silent Bob at trailing off, and then looked to Willow.
"What da fuck are you bitches babbling about?" Jay blabbered out.
"Would you stop calling us that?" Dawn asked, an angry frown forming on her face.
Jay looked at her and then away, muttering "How bout 'Boo-Boo Kitty Fuck'?" Bob looked at him wide-eyed, smacking Jay's shoulder. He looked at Bob innocently and muttered "What? Worked once."
Willow, Buffy, And Tara, who hadn't been listening, seemed to be having a silent conversation, whose words were frowns and various movements of the Eyebrow. Spike, who had been listening, but didn't give a rats ass, was staring intently at Buffy. Could she be about to tell these two morons her little secret?
Apparently so.
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Reviews Appreciated, Even flames.... (I'm So lonely.;) )
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