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Forewarning: For those of you uncomfortable with smut, don't worry. It doesn't get all that intense. For those of you in search of it, sorry. Maybe next time. Read anyway!
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Chapter Six
Sex, Drugs, And Alcohol

Buffy looked at Willow and Tara, silently asking advice. She then Seemed to come to a decision, leveled her gaze across the table at Jay and Silent Bob, who now had fairly wary looks on their faces, and she spoke. "I'm the slayer."

This didn't have an immediate reaction, and Jay and Bob looked at each other before looking back to her. Jay responded. "The what?"

She merely repeated herself, expecting them to understand the significance. "The slayer."

Jay verbalized what both he and Bob were thinking. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

She was quite used to everyone knowing about the Slayer already, and wasn't quite sure how to describe herself. "I'm the Slayer; a super-powered vampire hunter, charged by fate to fight the powers of evil, and these are my friends, two of which are witches, one is an ex-sorcerer, and another is an ex-demon. The latter two are not present. Those guys who attacked us are, were, vampires. They knew that I'm the Slayer, and thought that I had something they wanted."

Jay and Silent Bob sat there quite still, quite silent, and staring quite blankly. Jay was about to make some comment containing shock, retardation, and use of narcotics when Bob spoke. "That's okay, I'm a junkie with a monkey." That seemed to settle the matter. They all seemed to simply sit there, and stare at the table between them.

Until, of course, Spike spoke. "Um, Buff, I don't suppose you kept any of that blood in the fridge, I haven't really had the chance." Jay and Bob sat confused. Buffy was, again, too tire to give him shit.

"Yeah, it's behind the orange juice." Dawn answered.

"Thank's Lil' Bit." He stood, seemingly unaware of the silent reverie of the room. He grabbed a mug, and leaned over to get in the fridge. When he turned around, he'd revealed his true face to drink, and Jay went berserk.

"Ah! It's the fuck'n Undead! Kill it! Kill it!" Jay screamed, jumping up from his seat at the table, Bob at his side.

Spike merely sighed and muttered to himself. "That sounds familiar." Bob and Jay both made threatening motions toward Spike, and he realized that her was in serious shit.

"No, wait! He's Okay!" Buffy shouted. "He's a frie... well, we tolerate him." She said.

Jay and Silent Bob stood close together, still shocked, but somewhat disarmed. Jay muttered in Bobs ear. "The whole fuck'n worlds out to get us, Silent Bob, I swear to God."
"You don't have to worry about Spike," Dawn spoke, coming to his defense. "He's not dangerous."

"Hey! Take that back!" Spike shouted in defense of what little dignity he had around here.

"Sorry." Dawn said before continuing. "You see, Spike used to be all big and evil, but then the government agency called the Initiative kidnaped him, and they performed this wicked bad experiment, and they like, put a chip in his head, and made it, like, give'm this big shock whenever he tries to hurt a human. And now he like, hangs around and helps us, cause he..." Trailing off like that seemed a very good option to Dawn when she noticed the looks that she was getting from Willow, Buffy, and most specifically, Spike. The acidity of the glare coming frm the Vampire was enough to give her heartburn.

Again, Jay and Bob merely stared at her, before looking to each other, to Spike, then to each other again. Jay spoke. "People take train rides with layovers all the time, but you and me try to do it, and I swear it's like were trapped in a fuck'n t.v. show." Then, nodding, Bob looked back to the locals. He seemed to be thinking, then apparently came to a solution to the problems of the night. He walked over to his Bag, and pulled out the other six-pack of 'General-Problem- Solvers,' and a bag of 'Universal-Situation-Enhancer.'


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"What now?" Jay asked, having just finished the last of the last of his beer. After they'd finished off Jays Budweiser's, Buffy'd gone into her pantry in search of alcohol, and found half a twelve-pack of Milwaukee from a party that broke up early (One of which Buffy, Inebriated at this point, gave to Dawn), and a quarter-bottle of scotch from god-knows when. They'd finished talking about very little, taking their time doing so. At some point in the evening no one could specifically recall, Spike had left for his crypt, not wanting to be trapped here during the day.

"I say we put in a movie and pass out in various places in the living room." Buffy spoke, feeling it was quite a cleaver statement after tree beers and two shots. Dawn smiled in agreement, and stood up with a stupid smile still on her face. She made it two steps from the chair before collapsing to the ground. Buffy looked at her sister, crumpled on the floor, and spoke. "Or in here, whatever." Tara laughed, and with Buffy's help, got Dawn up and to bed.

After this, the remainder of the group joined a sleeping Suzanne in the Living room and piled into the various seats, except for Tara, who stood at the video cabinet. After a moment she offered a choice. "We could watch 'American Pie.'"

"Is that the movie where the guy puts his dick in the apple pie?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, Me and Bob here met him once. Got his ass thrown in jail! Baaaang!" He said the last part hitting fists with Bob, who sat in the next sofa seat.

"Lets watch that." Willow said, conspicuously.

"Why?" Tara asked with a raised eyebrow.

She seemed to concede. "I like that Shannon Elizabeth. I think she's hot."

Tara gasped in mock angry. When Jay piped in. "Damn straight she is. Man she is one hot piece-a ass, but then again, I got a girl, so she's outta the picture for me."

Willow apparently felt the need to keep speaking. " That Alyson Hannigan's not that bad either." To which Tara really gasped this time, and to which Jay and Bob both silently nodded in agreement to each other. Willow looked up at Tara, and shot back at her. "Oh, come on, like you wouldn't jump'er bones if you got the chance." To which Tara could only nod concedingly.

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It was several hours after the movie, which had gone off without a single event of notice. Well, Bob did have to stop Jay from staring as Willow and Tara started getting frisky in the back couch. He spoke in his own defense. "Come on! When else am I gonna be able to see this shit without paying for it?" They didn't seem to hear him, and didn't seem to stop. In fact, the only sign that they recognized the presence of the others at all was the fact that they went and got a room before any Items of clothing were removed. At some point in the movie Buffy had fallen asleep. Passed out more likely. Bob (Ever the gentleman) again picked her up and carried her to her bed.

He stood at her bed side for a moment, noticing that the sun was rearing it's ugly head. Like Gods own flashlight. He stood for a moment, admiring the was the sunlight came in through her window, and felt his cheeks burn at the golden glow it gave her hair as it lay spread over her dark red pillow, and the Arbern shade it gave her cheeks. He managed to tear himself away from the view and close the window so that it would not disrupt her sleep.

The fact that he got a raging hard-on from holding her so close was not helped by the various yelps and gasps he heard passing by Willow and Tara's room. He entered the living room to find Jay asleep on one couch, and Susy asleep on top of him. He smiled, took off his coat and hat, and laid down on the other to sleep.

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Willow and Tara, it seemed, had no intention of sleeping anytime soon. Willow whispered a comment about how they had to be up in hours anyway, so they might as well find an activity that kept them awake and occupied.

Of course, It was difficult for Tara to hear all this with Willows' tongue in her ear.

Tara sat on the edge of the bed, her skirt having fallen to the floor on her way there, and her shirt now heading the same way. Mode of transport: Willows right hand. Willows left hand was busy transporting her own various clothing to any location but 'on.'

Tara lay back, nothing but bra and panties, while Willow straddled above her, slowly drawing off her shirt in an erotic manor. (If you would like help in visualizing this I know an excellent website you can visit... Snoogans!) Willow drew off her shirt exposing the red bra that Tara loved her in.

Tar brought herself up to her elbows and teasingly kissed Willows stomach, lingering and teasing with each kiss. Willow moved down and locked her mouth to Tara's, one hand at the back of her head, one slowly familiarizing itself with Tara's underwear.

It unlocked Tara's bra with surprising skill for a girl under influence, and quickly capitalized on the fruit of it's efforts. Namely Tara's right breast. Willow broke her oral excavation and moved her tongue down Tara's neck to her left breast. Tara' fell back to her back, moving one hand up to run through Willows hair and the other to run along Willows back, and she quickly unlatched Willows bra.

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An hour or so later, Willow claimed that she was getting up to take a shower. She didn't seem to be going anywhere, but she claimed it none the less. After about ten minutes of tired hands sliding along sweaty, tired bodies, and finally threats of tickling, Willow got up. She stood up beside the bed and went in search of a clean bra and panties. Tara admired the view in this search, watching her ruffled red hair matted with sweat, and started muttering that she had to take a shower too, so Willow should hurry up.

Willow looked at Tara, who was now smiling as she laid on her back. The thin sheet only just covered her thighs, and that which fell between. Tara smiled at Willow innocently, seemingly unaware of exactly how intoxicatingly erotic she was, with her bare stomach and chest exposed. Willow walked over to her, a dark smile on her face, and kneeled before kissing her lips. Their faces upside down to each other, Willow began kissing upwards to her.
Which was down to Tara. As Willows lips began to grace the tops of her breasts, and Willows' dangled above her eyes, she giggled before rolling out from under Willow.
"I knew it." She said laughing, as she sat up from the side of the bed. "You're only dating me for my physical attraction."
Willow grinned, and pretended to be considering the matter, before she stood up and started to turn away. "Nah." She said. "It's the sex."
Tara gasped and laughed and threw a pillow. She dodged it on her way out the door to the bathroom.

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"Who were they!" A voice demanded in the darkness. It was the fourth time the old man had heard the question. I thought third time's the charm. He thought, answering in the same manor.

"I told you I don't know. How could I know if I've never seen them myself?" He said this with all honesty in his voice, but the Dark voice seemed to have other ideas about his sincerity.

"They fought like nothing I've ever seen." The voice said, for the third time that night. "Well, outside of a George Lucas film..." It muttered. "They took out seven of my best fighters like nothing! Who do you know of that could do that? Humans, I mean."

The old man thought to himself for a moment. "I know plenty of people who could take out seven vampires. But few of them use golf clubs and baseball bats. Are you sure you didn't eat a fresh stoner before this? I hear that can cause hallucinations in vampi," He began, a smile forming on his face.

"Don't test me, you old fool!" The voice said, the darkness of the room still hiding the face, but the mans hearing told him it was closer. His smile faded, but didn't disappear. He knew that He was invaluable to the vampire's plans... To a point. The good graces of this vampire was what kept him alive after the ceremony.

'Or so he thinks.' The old man thought. 'If all goes to plan, this fool will be as dead as his troop. And maybe even a Slayer. But two other warlocks or something? They may have word of what was being planned here. That would most definitely be a very bad thing. And if this idiot demon is right, I may be dealing two of the most dangerous men alive.'

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Miles, and levels of consciousness away, Jay rolled over in his sleeps, scratching himself, while Suzanne picked a flea out of his hair.





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