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Authors Note: Danger, Danger Will Rosenberg! Sorry all, but I watched J&SB: Strike Back again last night for inspiration as to this work, and some of the DVD Cut scenes too. Therefore, in a Smithian tone, I've included lots of Actor-recognition jokes. (See: Willow talking about Alyson Hannigan) So there. You've been warned. If you haven't Strike Back, you wont really get it. So read it, get confused, and go ask your friends. And review, too. If you don't, you can't read it...)
Chapter Seven
What's The Story, Morning Glory?
Jay woke up rather early, for him anyway. A little before noon. He went to the bathroom, and was taking off his various clothes, which he hadn't taken off to sleep, on the way. One would find a cap, boots, socks, and a yellow jacket on ones trek from the living room to the stairs. On ones way up the stairs one would trip over a stripped 'quickstop' jacket, a 'berserk' T-shirt, and (frighteningly) a pair of black pants. Fortunately, no underwear was to be found on the floor.
Jay apparently decided to take a shower, a decidedly rare occurrence for him.
Dawn awoke, needing to piss badly, and feeling not-too-peachy. She was about to discover that, for a girl of her size and alcohol capacity, even two beers can be an undertaking. She stumbled out into the hall, moving slowly and groggily, but consistently towards the bathroom. Her ears seemed to have a private playing of 'The Worlds Greatest Percussionists' blasting into her head, and she was quite unthinking in opening the door without knocking.
Fore she ran almost headlong (No pun intended) into Jay. And he was interestingly dressed.
Interestingly, in that he wasn't.
He apparently had just gotten out of the shower, as he had a towel at his head, drying off his hair. To the fact that she was looking at him, he was either ignorant or merely ignoring. She looked at his long, dirty-blonde hair. She looked at his long, strong arms. She looked at his well muscled chest still glistening with water. When her eyes got around to noticing the tattoo on his arm, she was already feeling a sensation between her legs that had nothing at all to do with having to urinate.
When her eyes kept traveling south, they were seemingly out of her control and moving of their own accord. They reached their apparent target, and a number of things happened. First, all blood in Dawns face immediately vacated the area. Second, it became apparent that Jay's shower had not been cold water. Third, it became apparent that Dawn would most definitely need to take a shower with cold water. Fourth, Dawn became quite convinced that she would need to rush the undies she was wearing to the washing machine soon. Finally, Dawn made a feeble, clumsy, idiotic attempt to leave the room, excuse herself, pretend she hadn't seen anything, and run out the door at the same time.
Besides futile, the effort was apparently also unnecessary. Jay went about his business unaware that she'd even entered the room. After all, he'd had quite a few more beers that night than her.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Bob awoke to hear talking. After sitting up, and finding Suzanne asleep on the ground beside him, he found that the talking came from the kitchen. He put on his shoes, stood, and walked to the kitchen to find Jay (now fully dressed), Tara, and Willow sitting in various places around the Island and the table.
"So, like, he was with the military?" Jay asked Willow, who nodded, sipping her coffee.
"M-hm. He was in part of the Initiative. Technically he still is, but it's not so evil anymore." She answered. Jay turned and saw Bob entering. Bob shot him an inquisitive look, and Jay spoke.
"She's tellin me bout some of the shit these guys've done in this town." Jay had a look on his face that suggested he was trying to look interested, while he thought that she was really full of shit. "She's just tellin me about this 'Riley' guy." He turned back to Willow. "Yeah, the government's started some shit with me too. But lets not get into that."
"Wait," Willow said, "Let me show you a picture of him. There's one in the hall." She left the kitchen for a moment, while Bob sat next to Jay and grabbed a cup of coffee. She returned, and showed them a picture pointing to one man. "That's Riley." she said.
Jay and Silent Bob looked at the picture, then to each other, and Jay said muttering under his breath "Zoinks, yo..." To which Bob nodded. Willow headed back out the door to return the Picture to the hall, and Jay asked her. "You ever seen him in a neckerjiff?"
"Huh?" She asked.
"Nothin..." Jay muttered.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Buffy awoke, her head splitting from an extreme hangover, and not very sure of how or when she'd gotten to her own bed. She opened one eye. Cautiously. Bed: Check. Hers: Check. Empty: Check.
She discovered what had awoken her in the first place: Dawn was knocking on her door.
"Come on Buffy, early bird gets the worm." Dawn said.
"Dawn, the early bird is insane." Buffy shouted from her pillow. "Why would I want a worm anyhow?"
"Uhhhg," she moaned pulling herself up to a sitting position. 'Uhhhg' pretty much described her condition; She had a dull ache all throughout her head, she was tired, and she was extremely hungry. She stood up, and though she wasn't exactly sure what she'd done the night before, she regretted whatever it was. She was about to get dressed until she realized that she already was. She thought, I must have been pretty out of it to sleep in my pants. Feeling the cold air, and knowing the floor would be freezing, she was about to put socks on, until she saw that she'd neglected to take them off in the first place. Looking in the mirror, seeing that she was fully dressed, she simply dealt with her unruly bed hair, and headed downstairs for some much desired breakfast.
She entered the kitchen to find Jay and Silent Bob sitting at the kitchen table, with Tara standing by the kitchen island, and Willow on one of the stools. "Hey guys." She muttered on her way to the coffee pot. "What're you talking about?"
Jay looked up Buffy. "She's just tellin us bout this chick, Faith, you guys messed with before. Damn, she sounds like this jewel stealin bitch Me and Lunchbox ran into a while back."
Buffy looked rather confused at this statement. She decided that trying to get what they were talking about would require the use of brain cells that were hours and cups of coffee away from use. She sat, and listened to their conversation, while allowing her body to slowly adapt to the state of being awake. Only when Dawn entered the kitchen and spoke to her did she come out of her haze.
"Hey, Buffy. Are you feeling any better than last night?" Dawn spoke, coming in the kitchen.
"Yeah, Dawny, I feel fine." Buffy said, still seeming in a bit of a daze. Though, wether this was due to the alcohol she'd consumed, or the fact that the sun was up, none could determine.
"You seemed like you were getting better last night, so I..." Dawn spoke moving towards the refrigerator, but at the sight of Jay (Like many women, though for a different reason) broke off and looked a different direction. She blushed profusely, and Buffy barely saw this. Buffy had looked up and at Dawn. She saw the embarrassed look on Dawns face. She was fairly confused until she saw that the thing she had turned away from was Jay, though he didn't seem to have even registered her presence. After that, she got the basic impression that, once again, Dawn had a little crush for the B. A. B. B.: Bad Ass Blonde Boy. She sighed, and leaned her head back.
Willow looked to Buffy, seeming to wait for Buffy to become more attentive, until she gave up the waiting by coughing loudly. Buffy looked to her. "Um, didn't you want to go to the Magic Box to research that talisman they were talking about?"
"Oh, yeah." Buffy said, muttering. "We aught to do that." She stood, while Tara and Willow stood as well. "Um, We need to go to the Shop to do some research." She said, speaking to Jay and Silent Bob.
"You guys can come too if you want." Though it was obvious that she was speaking to both of them, she was noticeably looking only at Bob. Though her face didn't betray any sort of unusual emotion, it was fairly obvious to everyone in the room but those two that she had not desire for Jay to come along.
Well, as usual, Jay was oblivious to what others found obvious. "Sure thing, B. It aint like we got much else to do today. Aint that right Lunchbox?" He said looking over to Bob, who nodded.
Buffy, though she didn't smile, she did seem pleased. "Um, Dawn? You coming?"
Dawn looked up, shot a glance at Jay, and muttered "Uh, no... I got things to do here." She murmured, and left the room.
"Alright than." Buffy said, putting her coffee cup in the sink, and continued. "Let's go than."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Giles carried his tea in one hand, a book in the other, and made his way to his desk in his make-shift office. He set down his tea, opened the book to the page he'd been reading, and enjoyed his moment of peace and quiet.
Since it was a moment of peace and quiet, he should have expected it to be interrupted.
Anya burst in and set a form on his desk, right on top of the book he was reading. "I need you to sign this." Anya said abruptly.
Giles looked up at her, signed the form with his right hand, than brought his right thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose. "You know, Anya," He said, speaking in an annoyed voice, "in a thousand years of interaction, even by torturing people, one should have gained better social skills than yours."
Anya took the form and gave him an annoyed frown. "Now see, if you were funnier than that, the Doubleya B would've never dropped us." She spoke while moving back towards the door.
Giles looked up in confusion. "What?"
Anya stood there, shaking her head. "Nothing."
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Sorry, but that last bit had no purpose whatsoever. It was a joke I wanted to get out there for those of us who were willing to spring for the 'Strike Back' DVD set, and if you watch the extra scenes, you'll understand. Keep watching, I'll update within the week's end. Review!
Authors Note: Danger, Danger Will Rosenberg! Sorry all, but I watched J&SB: Strike Back again last night for inspiration as to this work, and some of the DVD Cut scenes too. Therefore, in a Smithian tone, I've included lots of Actor-recognition jokes. (See: Willow talking about Alyson Hannigan) So there. You've been warned. If you haven't Strike Back, you wont really get it. So read it, get confused, and go ask your friends. And review, too. If you don't, you can't read it...)
Chapter Seven
What's The Story, Morning Glory?
Jay woke up rather early, for him anyway. A little before noon. He went to the bathroom, and was taking off his various clothes, which he hadn't taken off to sleep, on the way. One would find a cap, boots, socks, and a yellow jacket on ones trek from the living room to the stairs. On ones way up the stairs one would trip over a stripped 'quickstop' jacket, a 'berserk' T-shirt, and (frighteningly) a pair of black pants. Fortunately, no underwear was to be found on the floor.
Jay apparently decided to take a shower, a decidedly rare occurrence for him.
Dawn awoke, needing to piss badly, and feeling not-too-peachy. She was about to discover that, for a girl of her size and alcohol capacity, even two beers can be an undertaking. She stumbled out into the hall, moving slowly and groggily, but consistently towards the bathroom. Her ears seemed to have a private playing of 'The Worlds Greatest Percussionists' blasting into her head, and she was quite unthinking in opening the door without knocking.
Fore she ran almost headlong (No pun intended) into Jay. And he was interestingly dressed.
Interestingly, in that he wasn't.
He apparently had just gotten out of the shower, as he had a towel at his head, drying off his hair. To the fact that she was looking at him, he was either ignorant or merely ignoring. She looked at his long, dirty-blonde hair. She looked at his long, strong arms. She looked at his well muscled chest still glistening with water. When her eyes got around to noticing the tattoo on his arm, she was already feeling a sensation between her legs that had nothing at all to do with having to urinate.
When her eyes kept traveling south, they were seemingly out of her control and moving of their own accord. They reached their apparent target, and a number of things happened. First, all blood in Dawns face immediately vacated the area. Second, it became apparent that Jay's shower had not been cold water. Third, it became apparent that Dawn would most definitely need to take a shower with cold water. Fourth, Dawn became quite convinced that she would need to rush the undies she was wearing to the washing machine soon. Finally, Dawn made a feeble, clumsy, idiotic attempt to leave the room, excuse herself, pretend she hadn't seen anything, and run out the door at the same time.
Besides futile, the effort was apparently also unnecessary. Jay went about his business unaware that she'd even entered the room. After all, he'd had quite a few more beers that night than her.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Bob awoke to hear talking. After sitting up, and finding Suzanne asleep on the ground beside him, he found that the talking came from the kitchen. He put on his shoes, stood, and walked to the kitchen to find Jay (now fully dressed), Tara, and Willow sitting in various places around the Island and the table.
"So, like, he was with the military?" Jay asked Willow, who nodded, sipping her coffee.
"M-hm. He was in part of the Initiative. Technically he still is, but it's not so evil anymore." She answered. Jay turned and saw Bob entering. Bob shot him an inquisitive look, and Jay spoke.
"She's tellin me bout some of the shit these guys've done in this town." Jay had a look on his face that suggested he was trying to look interested, while he thought that she was really full of shit. "She's just tellin me about this 'Riley' guy." He turned back to Willow. "Yeah, the government's started some shit with me too. But lets not get into that."
"Wait," Willow said, "Let me show you a picture of him. There's one in the hall." She left the kitchen for a moment, while Bob sat next to Jay and grabbed a cup of coffee. She returned, and showed them a picture pointing to one man. "That's Riley." she said.
Jay and Silent Bob looked at the picture, then to each other, and Jay said muttering under his breath "Zoinks, yo..." To which Bob nodded. Willow headed back out the door to return the Picture to the hall, and Jay asked her. "You ever seen him in a neckerjiff?"
"Huh?" She asked.
"Nothin..." Jay muttered.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Buffy awoke, her head splitting from an extreme hangover, and not very sure of how or when she'd gotten to her own bed. She opened one eye. Cautiously. Bed: Check. Hers: Check. Empty: Check.
She discovered what had awoken her in the first place: Dawn was knocking on her door.
"Come on Buffy, early bird gets the worm." Dawn said.
"Dawn, the early bird is insane." Buffy shouted from her pillow. "Why would I want a worm anyhow?"
"Uhhhg," she moaned pulling herself up to a sitting position. 'Uhhhg' pretty much described her condition; She had a dull ache all throughout her head, she was tired, and she was extremely hungry. She stood up, and though she wasn't exactly sure what she'd done the night before, she regretted whatever it was. She was about to get dressed until she realized that she already was. She thought, I must have been pretty out of it to sleep in my pants. Feeling the cold air, and knowing the floor would be freezing, she was about to put socks on, until she saw that she'd neglected to take them off in the first place. Looking in the mirror, seeing that she was fully dressed, she simply dealt with her unruly bed hair, and headed downstairs for some much desired breakfast.
She entered the kitchen to find Jay and Silent Bob sitting at the kitchen table, with Tara standing by the kitchen island, and Willow on one of the stools. "Hey guys." She muttered on her way to the coffee pot. "What're you talking about?"
Jay looked up Buffy. "She's just tellin us bout this chick, Faith, you guys messed with before. Damn, she sounds like this jewel stealin bitch Me and Lunchbox ran into a while back."
Buffy looked rather confused at this statement. She decided that trying to get what they were talking about would require the use of brain cells that were hours and cups of coffee away from use. She sat, and listened to their conversation, while allowing her body to slowly adapt to the state of being awake. Only when Dawn entered the kitchen and spoke to her did she come out of her haze.
"Hey, Buffy. Are you feeling any better than last night?" Dawn spoke, coming in the kitchen.
"Yeah, Dawny, I feel fine." Buffy said, still seeming in a bit of a daze. Though, wether this was due to the alcohol she'd consumed, or the fact that the sun was up, none could determine.
"You seemed like you were getting better last night, so I..." Dawn spoke moving towards the refrigerator, but at the sight of Jay (Like many women, though for a different reason) broke off and looked a different direction. She blushed profusely, and Buffy barely saw this. Buffy had looked up and at Dawn. She saw the embarrassed look on Dawns face. She was fairly confused until she saw that the thing she had turned away from was Jay, though he didn't seem to have even registered her presence. After that, she got the basic impression that, once again, Dawn had a little crush for the B. A. B. B.: Bad Ass Blonde Boy. She sighed, and leaned her head back.
Willow looked to Buffy, seeming to wait for Buffy to become more attentive, until she gave up the waiting by coughing loudly. Buffy looked to her. "Um, didn't you want to go to the Magic Box to research that talisman they were talking about?"
"Oh, yeah." Buffy said, muttering. "We aught to do that." She stood, while Tara and Willow stood as well. "Um, We need to go to the Shop to do some research." She said, speaking to Jay and Silent Bob.
"You guys can come too if you want." Though it was obvious that she was speaking to both of them, she was noticeably looking only at Bob. Though her face didn't betray any sort of unusual emotion, it was fairly obvious to everyone in the room but those two that she had not desire for Jay to come along.
Well, as usual, Jay was oblivious to what others found obvious. "Sure thing, B. It aint like we got much else to do today. Aint that right Lunchbox?" He said looking over to Bob, who nodded.
Buffy, though she didn't smile, she did seem pleased. "Um, Dawn? You coming?"
Dawn looked up, shot a glance at Jay, and muttered "Uh, no... I got things to do here." She murmured, and left the room.
"Alright than." Buffy said, putting her coffee cup in the sink, and continued. "Let's go than."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Giles carried his tea in one hand, a book in the other, and made his way to his desk in his make-shift office. He set down his tea, opened the book to the page he'd been reading, and enjoyed his moment of peace and quiet.
Since it was a moment of peace and quiet, he should have expected it to be interrupted.
Anya burst in and set a form on his desk, right on top of the book he was reading. "I need you to sign this." Anya said abruptly.
Giles looked up at her, signed the form with his right hand, than brought his right thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose. "You know, Anya," He said, speaking in an annoyed voice, "in a thousand years of interaction, even by torturing people, one should have gained better social skills than yours."
Anya took the form and gave him an annoyed frown. "Now see, if you were funnier than that, the Doubleya B would've never dropped us." She spoke while moving back towards the door.
Giles looked up in confusion. "What?"
Anya stood there, shaking her head. "Nothing."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry, but that last bit had no purpose whatsoever. It was a joke I wanted to get out there for those of us who were willing to spring for the 'Strike Back' DVD set, and if you watch the extra scenes, you'll understand. Keep watching, I'll update within the week's end. Review!