Chapter 10
Malt Beverage And Masturbation
Jay, Buffy and Bob walked in the front door of the Magic Box, and instantly the others looked to them. Giles, Willow, Xander, and Tara were all sitting around the Great-Table-Of-Research, while Anya had decided to stand behind a counter with an open book in hand. The saddened look on Jay and Silent Bobs' faces were less than encouraging, while Buffy seemed firmly intrenched in her 'I'm a determined Slayer' look. They walked over to the table, and Buffy spoke.
"We came up with some useful tidbits at Willy's." She began with a tone that suggested that what they found may be just as much a burden as a blessing.
"You found out who's behind the attacks?" Giles prompted.
"More or less." Buffy answered, sitting down. She got the slightly-perturbed look from Giles and elaborated. "From what I gathered, there are only three troops of vampires in town have any serious out of town connections. Of those three, only two have the monetary power to get any sort of magically inclined professionals to work for them. And of those two, the leader of one troop is male, while the other is female."
" Thus we conclude the former." Giles stated to which Buffy nodded.
"Apparently have a few different safe houses, but their main one is supposed to be somewhere outside of town to the south." She spoke, looking to the others.
"Alright, so we now have a slightly less vague idea of where they may be." Xander said. He looked to Bob, Jay, and then back to Buffy. "So why is this a bad thing?"
"Well, while we were at Willy's," Buffy began, "We were attacked."
Everyone seemed to take on, either a concerned, surprised, or exasperated look.
"Again?" Xander asked.
"You know, you just can't seem to go to bars without getting attacked." Anya commented in her own, endearing way. "Maybe you should just try drinking at home."
After giving Anya a slightly impolite look, Buffy continued. "Not by the same guys, no. This was just..." She seemed to be looking for a good term for it, "A bar fight I suppose. Bunch of drunken idiots looking for a fight." She spoke these words, and Bob seemed to be considering whether the demons she was referring to were the real idiots looking for a fight in the situation.
"No one was hurt." Buffy went on, seemingly to answer the concerned looks on Willow and Tara's faces. "Well, besides them, that is. The bad news is that a vampire seems to have kidnaped Suzanne."
"Pardon me, whom?" Giles asked.
"Suzanne." Jay shouted. "My monkey."
Giles stood there starring at Jay, and there was a long pause. Then a slightly shorter pause. Finally Giles merely sat down and put his forehead in his hand.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
For no reason whatsoever, we cut to Holden McNeill, sitting on his couch, and he speaks sadly. "Nights like this, I miss dating a lesbian."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Jonathan walked along down the road, with the fairly amicable primate hanging onto one arm. Jon found that he rather liked the little creature, and was considering trying to keep it as a pet when he bumped into a person coming out of a shop. The other person was caught off balance and tumbled over, spilling the contents of his bag over half the sidewalk.
"Ah, son of a bitch!" The young man shouted as Jonathan walked on by. "Watch where your going!" The fellow barked out, picking up a few cans and a carton of smokes. "Ya bloody wanker."
And just as Spike placed a plastic bottle of lamp oil in his bag, his eyes rose in an almost disbelieving expression. He saw the young vampire walking away from him, or more to the point, he saw the ape slung over his shoulder. After deciding that it was simply too much to hope that two apes happened to have found their way into his town, he picked up his goods and followed the man at a good distance. After determining exactly where the young vampire was headed, he made his way towards the magic box, deciding some information might be useful to the Scoobies.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Well," Giles began after a few moments of simply moving on without an attempt at understanding these confusing young gentlemen, "We had a bit of luck with our research as well."
"Or found out some major badness. Kinda depends on how you look at it." Xander piped in.
"Oh that's all kinds of encouraging." Buffy muttered.
Giles opened a book to a marked page, preparing to go into the ususal twenty minute explanation of the nature of whatever happened to be threatening the city of Sunnydale that week. After seeing that Bob was a bit too distraught over the lose of Suzanne to listen, and finding that Jay was muttering to himself, making punching motions, cursing violently at times, Giles decided that these two fellows were not the kind of warrior that you took the time to explain complicated matters to. He came to the realization that these two were of the variety which you merely pointed in the direction of the thing you want dead and yell 'Go!'
"Well, it appears that this cross of Frellen, while rare, is not unique." Giles explained. After getting a confused look from Buffy, he continued. "Well, while the Cross of Frellen was the only artifact created by Getrovious Frellen to grant abnormal power to specifically vampiric entities, it was not the only artifact created by Getrovious Frellen." Giles finished, and seeing that that confused look on Buffy's face had not changed one Iota, he decided on a different tactic. (Really for such a smart guy, you'd think he would have realized that Buffy is, in fact, blonde.) "The archmage Frellen made a great many talismans and various pieces of armor, each of which performing this effect of increased power and abilities for a different kind of demon."
"So he was an equal opportunity insane demonic assistant." Xander interrupted again. "Have I mentioned yet that I don't like this guy?"
"Yeah, you said that a while ago." Anya spoke, consolingly.
"So a group of various different kinds of demons are going to go get their evil badness on?" Buffy asked. "Get stronger, faster, immune to classic no-no's?"
" No, a fouler games afoot children." Giles muttered, rubbing his chin with his thumb and finger. "What we did not find in the encyclopedia is that this cross can also be used in a very different kind of ceremony. When used in this way, the talisman can also grant those vampiric abilities to a non-vampiric entity." Giles finished.
Buffy, again displaying that she'd stepped out of line when god was handing out brains, asked. "Okay, once more in English?"
Giles stuttered a few moments, the verbal equivalent of falling, picking oneself up again, and dusting off ones pants. "Well, the talisman can be used to give an otherwise normal human the physical abilities of a vampire."
"It will rebuild him," Xander said. "Make him stronger, faster, better than before."
"Oh that's just peachy!" Buffy groaned. And then a thought hit her. "But wait a minute, if there's one of these things for a lot of different types of demons..."
"Than they could all be used simultaneously, and granting one human with the powers of a great many kinds of demons." Giles finished her thought.
Xander interrupted once again. "What, so this would make him, like, some kind of Uber-demon? Man, I miss the 'oh, I just wanna be a big snake' mayor."
"On that note, Willow logged on to... the infernal machine over there," Giles pointed in the general direction of the computer, "and looked up any mention of what talismans were listed in the texts we could find. She found that an odd number of rare and valuable talismans and artifacts have been making their way into our area over the last few years."
Willow smirked her devilish little grin at the mention of her assistance and began. "I found that a few of the artifacts were listed on a page or two. And a few that we weren't even looking for apparently are related to them. It looks like several of them have been coming into the California area over the past twenty years or so."
"Well, than why haven't we been hearing about anybody with the powers of a half dozen demons going around? That sort of thing people tend to notice." Buffy muttered.
Giles piped in as Willow sat down at the computer to bring up a page. "One can assume that, whomever is collecting them wishes to possess all of them. And since the kind of people they would have to deal with wouldn't want to sell the artifacts if they knew they actual use, they would more than likely keep it all quiet until they had gotten all of them."
Willow brought up a page with a series of pictures and descriptions of various objects. Buffy, Giles, and Willow looked at the screen. While Giles and Willow may have understood what was said about all of these old looking objects, Buffy saw only pictures of jewelry, lots of mumbo-jumbo, and some very substantial price tags.
Willow focused on one object, a nice looking ring that was bejeweled with what looked like Jade. "Yeah, this is called the 'Ring of Neritic.' It was made by a magus who studied under Frellen, and was supposedly able to enhance the preternatural abilities of witches."
Tara looked over Willows shoulder. She looked wide-eyed and spoke. "You know, that's kinda weird. Cause, the other day, I was thinking that if I were ever going to propose to you, that I'd get you that instead of a normal ring. I didn't know that it did that kinda stuff."
Willow looked around with a smile and high eyebrows. "Aw, that's so sweet… Wait a minute, you were gonna propose? When were you gonna propose?" She said in a rushed series of questions.
Out of no-where Jay prompted. "When Jaws popped out of the water?"
Slowly a series of heads turned around to look strangely at him, and he put his head down.
The group went on to speak of what devices they knew to have been brought into the town, as Jay and Silent Bob walked around. Suddenly, the front door burst open, and Spike charged in.
"Even'n. Just dropped by," He began, setting his re-packed bag of groceries on a counter, then proceeding to sit beside it, "an figured you lot might enjoy my company."
With a collected sigh of annoyance from the local group, and a glare of disdain or two thrown in for flavor, Xander got to be the first to comment. "Well sure. We always welcome annoying little bleach laden freaks in our little gatherings." He took a step towards Spike. "Spike, since when do we ever enjoy your company?"
"Since I know exactly who took that little stoner over there's beast, and exactly where they took it. Not to mention how to get in there, and what their planning to do with it." Spike, as always, promising a great deal more than he could actually deliver, and yet still having enough to get his foot in the door.
There was slight pause of disbelief among the Scoobies and extras. 'Slight,' of course, in the way that Spike had a slight problem with sun tanning. Xander broke out with a serious question this time. "Spike, exactly how is it that you find out about these things so fast? I mean, is there some demon news team out there? You get up to the minute information? Do you get a news letter or something?" He sounded quite incredulous.
Spike looked at him, and answered as if it were the simplest thing in the world. "I read the script."
Xander looked plainly confused at this and Spike used the opportunity to move past him and into the actual core of the conversation. "A vampire took of with the ape, and ended up an old, expensive lookin joint jus south of town." He was looking and speaking to Buffy, and glanced at Bob at the Ape comment. "I jus happen to know a bit about this bunch, an it isnt all good. These are some very dangerous people, love, an I'd suggest against you have'n anything to do with'm."
"Very dangerous?" Giles questioned. "Might I ask you how you would know this? Do you know any of them?"
"No. I knew the man who, as I hear, was this group's leader's sire. An he was a bloody tough bugger, too." Spike said, sniffing a bit at the last part and wiping his nose on his sleeve.
"What does that have to do with them?" Giles asked.
"Because," Spike continued, "The man I knew was Killed by his own childe. An I don't feel all that anxious to figure out how he managed it."
"Well that's just perfect." Buffy said in a rather chipper voice, which got a confused look from Spike. "I thought that that was where they were, and now that we know they have Suzanne, it's either definitely them, or we need to do it anyway."
This gained a bit of a look from Spike. He was halfway turned towards Buffy, so he gave her that trademark look of his, a single raised eyebrow (the one with the scar across it) and a look on his face that makes one think he's stealing a gimmick from The Rock (who stole it from Leonard Nemoy, who stole it from James Dean...) "What, exactly were you planning to do?"
"We're gonna bust in there an get back our Monkey, ya crazy pasty bastad!" (No, I didn't misspell it accidentally, that was Jay who said it.) At that, Spike received a few nods of agreement.
"You're planning to go in there, face down an entire troop, just to get back a bloody ape?" He asked incredulously. "Is everybody here very stoned?"
Giles looked annoyed at the comment. "No one here is sto-" He paused in mid-word, shot a look to Jay and Silent Bob, and moved on. "The point is that there is more at stake than a mere animal."
They proceeded to explain the Suzanne-Talisman-Extreme badness of the night. After a little bit of drooling at the prospect and a little bit more planning on how to obtain these items, Spike left, realizing that he would be of little or any use that night.
"I don't believe," Giles began, taking off his glasses once again in his nervous habit, "That attempting anything tonight would be wise. It is very likely that they knew of your relationship with Jay and Bob here." Though he didn't know it, he got a few shocked glances from Bob and Buffy, and a knowing smirk from Willow. "They likely took the ape to draw the three of you into rash action. Additionally, It will still be night for several hours. I suggest that we all get a few hours sleep and plan to investigate matters in the day. They will be tired and unprepared." There was a general consensus of 'Sure' with the occasional 'whatever' or 'right' thrown in for flavor. As the group left the magic box, it split up as Anya and Xander went home, as did Giles, while the rest of them went to the 'Summer's Temporary Bed And Breakfast'.
In walking home, that group divided itself into a few smaller portions. There was Willow and Tara a few seconds ahead of Jay. The events of the night had taught them that it would be unwise to be friendly to the point of distraction, and thus they were no fun for the purposes of this story. Jay, of course watching them in the hopes that I missed a lurid lesbian deed or two, was distracted. Buffy and Bob walked side by side about ten feet behind.
"You really should try to not worry." Buffy said reassuringly. "We'll get her back, safe and sound." He looked up from the ground and peered at her face, his semi-chubby face in a sort of tired smile. She put a sympathetic arm across his shoulders, and they walked beside each other silently for a few peaceful moments. Buffy spoke with a bit of a chuckle. "You know, it's kind of cute. I can't think of many guys who would be so emotional about this." She put her smiling head on his shoulder, and looked down at her, and began smiling for a completely different reason. When, Lord? When's gonna be my time?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
They arrived at the Summers' residence, and as Jay proceeded directly to the restroom, Willow and Tara (after checking that Dawn was asleep in bed) went to bed themselves. (It was probably the prospect of this that lead to Jay's's need to go to the restroom, but Buffy refused to think such thoughts.) Buffy sulked up the stairs, and Bob followed her to her door. She opened her bedroom door, and leaned against the inside of the frame, looking at Bob, looking at her.
"Well, I guess I'll see you in a few hours." She said with a devilish little smile and a hand on his shoulder. She pulled her hand away from his shoulder, and he held her hand in his with all her fingers between his thumb and forefinger.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
If you had been looking really close, (or reading this) You would have been able to tell that a small man wearing a green overcoat, a backwards hat, and two little horns coming out of his forehead, and he looked as though he could stand to lose a pound or two. This little man appeared in a burst of flame, and showed up with a cigarette already taking a drag. Bob looked down at this little man, who exhaled in a rather dramatic manner. The little demon Bob grinned at Buffy, and then nodded in an evil little way. Bob got the impression that it was trying to say 'go for it,' and he nodded conspiratorially. After giving bob a thumbs up, the little man disappears in a poof of flame, and just then, a little man of very similar build, but wearing white robes and a fake Halo, appears on Bobs other shoulder. Bob looked to the tiny man, who glares at Buffy, then at Bob. The Tiny robed man Glares at Bob with disapproval, and Backhands him. The little man disappeared shaking his head.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
After a moments hesitation, Bob took Buffy's hand, Smiled politely yet suggestively, and kissed her hand good night. He walked down the hall with a grin wider than his face, and Buffy stood at her door in absolute amazement.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, how did you like it? Give me a yell if you did or didn't. Again, I must apologize sincerely for my obscene delays, but you would have no idea the crap that's happened the last couple weeks. And seeing as that crap isn't over, I likely wont be soon in posting again, But If you review and leave your Email, I'd be happy to inform you myself. In the Mean time,
Love, Snoogans, and Keep It Real.
Malt Beverage And Masturbation
Jay, Buffy and Bob walked in the front door of the Magic Box, and instantly the others looked to them. Giles, Willow, Xander, and Tara were all sitting around the Great-Table-Of-Research, while Anya had decided to stand behind a counter with an open book in hand. The saddened look on Jay and Silent Bobs' faces were less than encouraging, while Buffy seemed firmly intrenched in her 'I'm a determined Slayer' look. They walked over to the table, and Buffy spoke.
"We came up with some useful tidbits at Willy's." She began with a tone that suggested that what they found may be just as much a burden as a blessing.
"You found out who's behind the attacks?" Giles prompted.
"More or less." Buffy answered, sitting down. She got the slightly-perturbed look from Giles and elaborated. "From what I gathered, there are only three troops of vampires in town have any serious out of town connections. Of those three, only two have the monetary power to get any sort of magically inclined professionals to work for them. And of those two, the leader of one troop is male, while the other is female."
" Thus we conclude the former." Giles stated to which Buffy nodded.
"Apparently have a few different safe houses, but their main one is supposed to be somewhere outside of town to the south." She spoke, looking to the others.
"Alright, so we now have a slightly less vague idea of where they may be." Xander said. He looked to Bob, Jay, and then back to Buffy. "So why is this a bad thing?"
"Well, while we were at Willy's," Buffy began, "We were attacked."
Everyone seemed to take on, either a concerned, surprised, or exasperated look.
"Again?" Xander asked.
"You know, you just can't seem to go to bars without getting attacked." Anya commented in her own, endearing way. "Maybe you should just try drinking at home."
After giving Anya a slightly impolite look, Buffy continued. "Not by the same guys, no. This was just..." She seemed to be looking for a good term for it, "A bar fight I suppose. Bunch of drunken idiots looking for a fight." She spoke these words, and Bob seemed to be considering whether the demons she was referring to were the real idiots looking for a fight in the situation.
"No one was hurt." Buffy went on, seemingly to answer the concerned looks on Willow and Tara's faces. "Well, besides them, that is. The bad news is that a vampire seems to have kidnaped Suzanne."
"Pardon me, whom?" Giles asked.
"Suzanne." Jay shouted. "My monkey."
Giles stood there starring at Jay, and there was a long pause. Then a slightly shorter pause. Finally Giles merely sat down and put his forehead in his hand.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
For no reason whatsoever, we cut to Holden McNeill, sitting on his couch, and he speaks sadly. "Nights like this, I miss dating a lesbian."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Jonathan walked along down the road, with the fairly amicable primate hanging onto one arm. Jon found that he rather liked the little creature, and was considering trying to keep it as a pet when he bumped into a person coming out of a shop. The other person was caught off balance and tumbled over, spilling the contents of his bag over half the sidewalk.
"Ah, son of a bitch!" The young man shouted as Jonathan walked on by. "Watch where your going!" The fellow barked out, picking up a few cans and a carton of smokes. "Ya bloody wanker."
And just as Spike placed a plastic bottle of lamp oil in his bag, his eyes rose in an almost disbelieving expression. He saw the young vampire walking away from him, or more to the point, he saw the ape slung over his shoulder. After deciding that it was simply too much to hope that two apes happened to have found their way into his town, he picked up his goods and followed the man at a good distance. After determining exactly where the young vampire was headed, he made his way towards the magic box, deciding some information might be useful to the Scoobies.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Well," Giles began after a few moments of simply moving on without an attempt at understanding these confusing young gentlemen, "We had a bit of luck with our research as well."
"Or found out some major badness. Kinda depends on how you look at it." Xander piped in.
"Oh that's all kinds of encouraging." Buffy muttered.
Giles opened a book to a marked page, preparing to go into the ususal twenty minute explanation of the nature of whatever happened to be threatening the city of Sunnydale that week. After seeing that Bob was a bit too distraught over the lose of Suzanne to listen, and finding that Jay was muttering to himself, making punching motions, cursing violently at times, Giles decided that these two fellows were not the kind of warrior that you took the time to explain complicated matters to. He came to the realization that these two were of the variety which you merely pointed in the direction of the thing you want dead and yell 'Go!'
"Well, it appears that this cross of Frellen, while rare, is not unique." Giles explained. After getting a confused look from Buffy, he continued. "Well, while the Cross of Frellen was the only artifact created by Getrovious Frellen to grant abnormal power to specifically vampiric entities, it was not the only artifact created by Getrovious Frellen." Giles finished, and seeing that that confused look on Buffy's face had not changed one Iota, he decided on a different tactic. (Really for such a smart guy, you'd think he would have realized that Buffy is, in fact, blonde.) "The archmage Frellen made a great many talismans and various pieces of armor, each of which performing this effect of increased power and abilities for a different kind of demon."
"So he was an equal opportunity insane demonic assistant." Xander interrupted again. "Have I mentioned yet that I don't like this guy?"
"Yeah, you said that a while ago." Anya spoke, consolingly.
"So a group of various different kinds of demons are going to go get their evil badness on?" Buffy asked. "Get stronger, faster, immune to classic no-no's?"
" No, a fouler games afoot children." Giles muttered, rubbing his chin with his thumb and finger. "What we did not find in the encyclopedia is that this cross can also be used in a very different kind of ceremony. When used in this way, the talisman can also grant those vampiric abilities to a non-vampiric entity." Giles finished.
Buffy, again displaying that she'd stepped out of line when god was handing out brains, asked. "Okay, once more in English?"
Giles stuttered a few moments, the verbal equivalent of falling, picking oneself up again, and dusting off ones pants. "Well, the talisman can be used to give an otherwise normal human the physical abilities of a vampire."
"It will rebuild him," Xander said. "Make him stronger, faster, better than before."
"Oh that's just peachy!" Buffy groaned. And then a thought hit her. "But wait a minute, if there's one of these things for a lot of different types of demons..."
"Than they could all be used simultaneously, and granting one human with the powers of a great many kinds of demons." Giles finished her thought.
Xander interrupted once again. "What, so this would make him, like, some kind of Uber-demon? Man, I miss the 'oh, I just wanna be a big snake' mayor."
"On that note, Willow logged on to... the infernal machine over there," Giles pointed in the general direction of the computer, "and looked up any mention of what talismans were listed in the texts we could find. She found that an odd number of rare and valuable talismans and artifacts have been making their way into our area over the last few years."
Willow smirked her devilish little grin at the mention of her assistance and began. "I found that a few of the artifacts were listed on a page or two. And a few that we weren't even looking for apparently are related to them. It looks like several of them have been coming into the California area over the past twenty years or so."
"Well, than why haven't we been hearing about anybody with the powers of a half dozen demons going around? That sort of thing people tend to notice." Buffy muttered.
Giles piped in as Willow sat down at the computer to bring up a page. "One can assume that, whomever is collecting them wishes to possess all of them. And since the kind of people they would have to deal with wouldn't want to sell the artifacts if they knew they actual use, they would more than likely keep it all quiet until they had gotten all of them."
Willow brought up a page with a series of pictures and descriptions of various objects. Buffy, Giles, and Willow looked at the screen. While Giles and Willow may have understood what was said about all of these old looking objects, Buffy saw only pictures of jewelry, lots of mumbo-jumbo, and some very substantial price tags.
Willow focused on one object, a nice looking ring that was bejeweled with what looked like Jade. "Yeah, this is called the 'Ring of Neritic.' It was made by a magus who studied under Frellen, and was supposedly able to enhance the preternatural abilities of witches."
Tara looked over Willows shoulder. She looked wide-eyed and spoke. "You know, that's kinda weird. Cause, the other day, I was thinking that if I were ever going to propose to you, that I'd get you that instead of a normal ring. I didn't know that it did that kinda stuff."
Willow looked around with a smile and high eyebrows. "Aw, that's so sweet… Wait a minute, you were gonna propose? When were you gonna propose?" She said in a rushed series of questions.
Out of no-where Jay prompted. "When Jaws popped out of the water?"
Slowly a series of heads turned around to look strangely at him, and he put his head down.
The group went on to speak of what devices they knew to have been brought into the town, as Jay and Silent Bob walked around. Suddenly, the front door burst open, and Spike charged in.
"Even'n. Just dropped by," He began, setting his re-packed bag of groceries on a counter, then proceeding to sit beside it, "an figured you lot might enjoy my company."
With a collected sigh of annoyance from the local group, and a glare of disdain or two thrown in for flavor, Xander got to be the first to comment. "Well sure. We always welcome annoying little bleach laden freaks in our little gatherings." He took a step towards Spike. "Spike, since when do we ever enjoy your company?"
"Since I know exactly who took that little stoner over there's beast, and exactly where they took it. Not to mention how to get in there, and what their planning to do with it." Spike, as always, promising a great deal more than he could actually deliver, and yet still having enough to get his foot in the door.
There was slight pause of disbelief among the Scoobies and extras. 'Slight,' of course, in the way that Spike had a slight problem with sun tanning. Xander broke out with a serious question this time. "Spike, exactly how is it that you find out about these things so fast? I mean, is there some demon news team out there? You get up to the minute information? Do you get a news letter or something?" He sounded quite incredulous.
Spike looked at him, and answered as if it were the simplest thing in the world. "I read the script."
Xander looked plainly confused at this and Spike used the opportunity to move past him and into the actual core of the conversation. "A vampire took of with the ape, and ended up an old, expensive lookin joint jus south of town." He was looking and speaking to Buffy, and glanced at Bob at the Ape comment. "I jus happen to know a bit about this bunch, an it isnt all good. These are some very dangerous people, love, an I'd suggest against you have'n anything to do with'm."
"Very dangerous?" Giles questioned. "Might I ask you how you would know this? Do you know any of them?"
"No. I knew the man who, as I hear, was this group's leader's sire. An he was a bloody tough bugger, too." Spike said, sniffing a bit at the last part and wiping his nose on his sleeve.
"What does that have to do with them?" Giles asked.
"Because," Spike continued, "The man I knew was Killed by his own childe. An I don't feel all that anxious to figure out how he managed it."
"Well that's just perfect." Buffy said in a rather chipper voice, which got a confused look from Spike. "I thought that that was where they were, and now that we know they have Suzanne, it's either definitely them, or we need to do it anyway."
This gained a bit of a look from Spike. He was halfway turned towards Buffy, so he gave her that trademark look of his, a single raised eyebrow (the one with the scar across it) and a look on his face that makes one think he's stealing a gimmick from The Rock (who stole it from Leonard Nemoy, who stole it from James Dean...) "What, exactly were you planning to do?"
"We're gonna bust in there an get back our Monkey, ya crazy pasty bastad!" (No, I didn't misspell it accidentally, that was Jay who said it.) At that, Spike received a few nods of agreement.
"You're planning to go in there, face down an entire troop, just to get back a bloody ape?" He asked incredulously. "Is everybody here very stoned?"
Giles looked annoyed at the comment. "No one here is sto-" He paused in mid-word, shot a look to Jay and Silent Bob, and moved on. "The point is that there is more at stake than a mere animal."
They proceeded to explain the Suzanne-Talisman-Extreme badness of the night. After a little bit of drooling at the prospect and a little bit more planning on how to obtain these items, Spike left, realizing that he would be of little or any use that night.
"I don't believe," Giles began, taking off his glasses once again in his nervous habit, "That attempting anything tonight would be wise. It is very likely that they knew of your relationship with Jay and Bob here." Though he didn't know it, he got a few shocked glances from Bob and Buffy, and a knowing smirk from Willow. "They likely took the ape to draw the three of you into rash action. Additionally, It will still be night for several hours. I suggest that we all get a few hours sleep and plan to investigate matters in the day. They will be tired and unprepared." There was a general consensus of 'Sure' with the occasional 'whatever' or 'right' thrown in for flavor. As the group left the magic box, it split up as Anya and Xander went home, as did Giles, while the rest of them went to the 'Summer's Temporary Bed And Breakfast'.
In walking home, that group divided itself into a few smaller portions. There was Willow and Tara a few seconds ahead of Jay. The events of the night had taught them that it would be unwise to be friendly to the point of distraction, and thus they were no fun for the purposes of this story. Jay, of course watching them in the hopes that I missed a lurid lesbian deed or two, was distracted. Buffy and Bob walked side by side about ten feet behind.
"You really should try to not worry." Buffy said reassuringly. "We'll get her back, safe and sound." He looked up from the ground and peered at her face, his semi-chubby face in a sort of tired smile. She put a sympathetic arm across his shoulders, and they walked beside each other silently for a few peaceful moments. Buffy spoke with a bit of a chuckle. "You know, it's kind of cute. I can't think of many guys who would be so emotional about this." She put her smiling head on his shoulder, and looked down at her, and began smiling for a completely different reason. When, Lord? When's gonna be my time?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
They arrived at the Summers' residence, and as Jay proceeded directly to the restroom, Willow and Tara (after checking that Dawn was asleep in bed) went to bed themselves. (It was probably the prospect of this that lead to Jay's's need to go to the restroom, but Buffy refused to think such thoughts.) Buffy sulked up the stairs, and Bob followed her to her door. She opened her bedroom door, and leaned against the inside of the frame, looking at Bob, looking at her.
"Well, I guess I'll see you in a few hours." She said with a devilish little smile and a hand on his shoulder. She pulled her hand away from his shoulder, and he held her hand in his with all her fingers between his thumb and forefinger.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
If you had been looking really close, (or reading this) You would have been able to tell that a small man wearing a green overcoat, a backwards hat, and two little horns coming out of his forehead, and he looked as though he could stand to lose a pound or two. This little man appeared in a burst of flame, and showed up with a cigarette already taking a drag. Bob looked down at this little man, who exhaled in a rather dramatic manner. The little demon Bob grinned at Buffy, and then nodded in an evil little way. Bob got the impression that it was trying to say 'go for it,' and he nodded conspiratorially. After giving bob a thumbs up, the little man disappears in a poof of flame, and just then, a little man of very similar build, but wearing white robes and a fake Halo, appears on Bobs other shoulder. Bob looked to the tiny man, who glares at Buffy, then at Bob. The Tiny robed man Glares at Bob with disapproval, and Backhands him. The little man disappeared shaking his head.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
After a moments hesitation, Bob took Buffy's hand, Smiled politely yet suggestively, and kissed her hand good night. He walked down the hall with a grin wider than his face, and Buffy stood at her door in absolute amazement.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, how did you like it? Give me a yell if you did or didn't. Again, I must apologize sincerely for my obscene delays, but you would have no idea the crap that's happened the last couple weeks. And seeing as that crap isn't over, I likely wont be soon in posting again, But If you review and leave your Email, I'd be happy to inform you myself. In the Mean time,
Love, Snoogans, and Keep It Real.