Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following:
The rights to the characters of Kevin Smith's works.
The rights to the characters of Joss Whendon's works.
The Hope Diamond
The rights to the concepts of Batman, or any of his wonderful toys.
The rights to Mr. Coffee.
The rights to James Dean.
A Porsche.
The rights to the works of Anne Rice.
The rights to the works of George Lucas, not even his more recent Episodes. (Not that I couldn't have done a better job on the first one...) Heck, I don't even have a light-saber.
The rights to the works of Ridley Scott.
A Gladiator (Though I did get into this costume for my girlfriend one time...)
The rights to Dawson's Creek, though I am currently involved in a legal dispute which, hopefully, shall give me ownership of a nice pond.
I am not receiving money from the use of any of these things, and while I wish this were not the case, it is. Kev, Joss, please don't sue me.
Chapter Eleven
Stealing, Boning, Blowing Shit Up...
Buffy walked down the steps approximately five hours later. She wore a rather plain white shirt and her pajama pants. She entered the kitchen, moving towards the Mr. Coffee with great anticipation. She noticed Willow, siting at the table, a laptop and a bowl of cereal before her. The ravenous little redhead saw Buffy entering and took on a devious (well, devious for her) grin.
"You're looking well," remarked Willow, managing to load the usually innocuous phrase with so many layers of meaning that Buffy jerked to a halt mid-step with a wary look.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Buffy asked, her brain not quite active considering the hour of day, and how few she had slept before that.
"Well, I'm just saying that you must have slept real nice, what with Bob right down the hall." Willow said in a knowing' voice. She locked those big ol' eyes on Buffy and broke from her patronizing comments. "Come on, you got the major hots for him." She cam very close to making the kind of giggle she'd seldom made since highschool.
"Oh, I so do not." Buffy defended herself against the non-attack.
"Pu-leez , Buffy. They way you two were looking at each other last night, it was pretty obvious to everyone but you two. You aught to say something to him."
Buffy seemed to consider this. "You really think so? I mean, he does leave in a few days."
"Yeah." Willow. She smiled. "There's something kinda romantic about knowing it would end soon, ya know? Like something out of an old movie or something." She took a spoonful of frosted flakes. "Besides, I do recognize he is kinda cute. Not that I appreciate his maleness, But you don't have to be an art buff to recognize a decent painting, ya know?"
Buffy smiled, nodding, and took her mug out of the cabinet.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Jay looked over to Bob, who sat on the couch beside him. He nodded to the kitchen. "Yo, Silent Bob, I think that Buffy broads got a thing for ya. Ya aughta make a move."
Bob gave jay a skeptical look and smacked his shoulder.
"Naw, seriously." Jay went on.
Bob shrugged and seemed to think forlornly about the young blond.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
When all the occupants of the household were awake, alert, and had had a drink or two of coffee, they gathered in the kitchen before setting off to meet the others.
"Alright Xander." Buffy spoke to the receiver of the phone, looking at Jay and Silent Bob reading Willows computer over her shoulder. "We'll meet you there in twenty. Bye." She hung up the phone and walked over to the table in time to hear Jay asking what this web-site was.
Willow explained what the page she was researching was. "This is a site populated by militant magic buffs; sad, pathetic little bastard's, living in their parents basements, downloading spells, sharing what they think is 'inside information' about the demons they claim to despise, yet can't stop discussing." She smirked at some of the amateur advice posted like prize jewel pieces of information. "I'm trying to find any new information of Getrovious before we go."
"Ta hell with that shit." Jay said, straightening up with his fists in front of him. "I say we just go in there, I call dees bitches out, and rip'm up Wolvie-Beserk style! Take out the main motha fucka, and bikity-bam! Mother fuckers are done, we go home an smoke a victory blunt." He then proceeded into a complicated series of motions with his arms, in imitation of his beastly-named idol.
"Are we all ready?" Buffy asked. All present nodded, and they each picked up various bags or cases containing a great many items sharp and pointy.
They walked down the sidewalk in a slightly more tightly packed cluster than the night before. Willow and Tara again took the lead, with Buffy and Bob only six or seven feet behind. Jay followed by nearly ten feet, seemingly moving along to the beat of music which only he could hear.
"Hey these bitches think they're fast,
Well we're gonna kick their ass.
Punch, punch, kick, kick, punch it, pile-
drive'n, kick'n ass X-men style,
After we whoop dees vampire queers,
We'll go smoke a blunt and drink some beers,
Whoop these fuck'n bitch-ass Hoes,
when we go, we go, we go.
My jungle love... O-E-O-E-O
think I wanna know ya, know ya..."
Up with Buffy and Bob, each had a look of serious thought and vague nervousness. As they each considered the advice they had received from their respective friends, they shot foolish little glances at each other. Really, they had each been in the presence of Gods (granted, the two were on opposite sides), you would think that they could work up the nerve to make a move on a member of the opposite sex.
Though this may come as a surprise, Buffy began the conversation. "So, do you think you guys are up to this?" To which Bob nodded. "Good, good. So Bob," She began, and he turned to look at her directly, "You got a girlfriend back in Jersey?"
He smiled and shook his head, as if the idea of him having a girlfriend was a funny thing. Then, looking into her eyes, he took on a rather mischievous grin. Using nothing but an incline of the head and his eyebrows, he gave the unmistakable impression of asking 'What about you?'
"No, I don't have a girlfriend in Jersey either." Buffy answered jokingly. They each chuckled politely, and slowly, Buffy placed her hand in Bobs, their fingers interlacing.
They walked in silent joy for several minutes, and hardly could one tell that it was to battle that they marched. They could have been off to a stroll in the park, or some other bright and cheerful place.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Xander closed the door of his car as he got out with an almighty thump. He straightened out his back, still not quite rested from the three hours sleep he'd managed to get, and leaned against the car. He leaned in a rather clique way: A guy standing at the side of a lonely, dusty road, waiting for people to arrive. It seemed that he would not need to wait too long. He squinted at the glare blazing from the windshield of a car that neared. It stopped right where he stood, the driver side window rolling down as it approached. Giles put his forearm out along the door, peering out at Xander once he'd stopped the car.
"Are they here yet?" He asked in a somehow ominous fashion.
Xander looked down from the roof tops to Giles face in such an over-dramatic way that is reminiscent of a James Bond henchman. "Naw." He answered, breaking from his dark look and resuming his usual cheerfulness. "They aught to be here in a few."
Giles nodded and pulled forward. He parked his car in front of Xanders', got out, and walked up to the younger man. "I think it might be wise to proceed on foot from here." Xander nodded, resuming a slightly zoned-out stance. Giles assumed a stance beside him, similarly leaning against the car. He looked around after a moment before asking. "Where's Anya?"
Xander answered without breaking his staring contest with the distance. "She's in the backseat, sleeping. She figured 'if we're about to go get ourselves killed, she might as well be well-rested when we do so.'" He almost seemed to chuckle at this. "I gotta admit, I can't really argue with the logic, but there's not really enough room in the back seat for both of us. Well, not to sleep anyway." He didn't exactly mean to say that last bit aloud, but since Giles wasn't really listening it was okay.
Giles was paying more attention to the approaching group of persons making their way down the road towards them. The young pair of witches in the lead was of particular interest, for reason completely besides him being a randy old bugger. The two women seemed rather content, peaceful. In other words, not at all like they were about to go battle a troop of vampires in any way. The next two youths seemed even more unexcited about the affair, looking far too cheerful for the planned event. While they had been discreet enough to not hold hands this whole way, they did seem to be rather close to each other as Giles stared at the pair.
In fact, of the entire group, the last young man was by far the most energetic. Almost dancing in place, throwing rhythmic punches and elbows in the air in front of him, he seemed to be chanting a tone under his breath. Giles assumed that the young man was preforming some kind of personal ritual before going into battle.
They walked up to the car, the whole group standing around in a vague circle. A series of somewhat expectant looks shot their way between the people, and when one or two impacted with Ms. Summers cranium, she spoke.
"What?" she asked the persons who had looked at her in the conspicuous manner.
"I think this is where someone gives a big pep-talk, inspiring us all and filling us with hope before we march blindly into battle." Xander said in a far off, James Dean sort of way, not exactly breaking off his stare into the distance.
"Oh." Buffy said simply, not seeming to be able to find the enthusiasm to deliver her normal impromptu. "Um," She muttered, feeling put on the spot, as it were, "Let's go get'm guys! Kick some vampire butt." She spoke with almost pathetically fake energy.
"You people do realize that we are going into battle against a likely superior force?" Giles asked, and he seemed to be getting almost annoyed at the lack of enthusiasm. "Why is no one acting at least somewhat as if this were the case?"
"Well, it's sort of to be expected, G-man." Xander started, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. "I mean, we haven't had much sleep, we know just where we're going, just what we're doing, and while, granted, these aren't just your daily vampire Hijinks, it's not exactly as if we haven't dealt with worse." As he said this, he got a couple of nods and agreeing looks of acknowledge. He stepped away from the car and moved towards the others. "Plus the fact that we've got a couple of extra guys along for the ride." He added, patting Jay on the shoulder.
"Yeah." Jay said in a long, low, almost threatening way.
"So are we ready to go?" Buffy asked, at which Giles sighed. Xander opened his trunk, picking a few rather large weapons out, and knocked on the backseat window.
"Wake up An, it's the end of the world."
She turned on her side, not quite awake, and muttered. "Have fun storming the castle."
"Come on, dear, put your jacket on and let's go." He said. She awoke, and the group continued on their way. He continued his explanations to Giles as they walked. "Besides, even given that one of these guys has managed to activate these talismans, we're not even sure of how strong this guy might be." He paused for a second, and recognized exactly what he'd just said. "I'm not sure how, but I meant that as a good thing."
Anya piped up at this point. "It's okay dear. But you do have a good point; This wizard or whatever might not have even gotten through with all the ceremony and whatnot to activate these talismans."
"Oh Anya, don't be so naive to count on that." Giles quipped, seeming perturbed with the young people nonetheless. "Well it puzzles me, regardless, of how you all can take this so lightly. I do say, this does seem as though it were strangely simplistic."
"And what's worse," Buffy said in a pseudo-humorous way from the front of the group, "Anti-climatic."
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After fifteen minutes of walking, the group approached a respectable looking, if old and slightly run down, estate. One might have called it a mansion, but then again that wouldn't have taken into account the slightly business-like nature of its appearance. The whole building was only three stories high, but having a single main building with what looked like a wing branching off to either side made it extremely large building.
The Scoobies approached quietly and in a very poorly sneaky way. A series of decorative gardens lined a large parking lot, and the young people, and not to mention Giles, moved in crouching behind shrubbery. Buffy, in the lead, came to a stop, lying behind a large fern at the innermost edge of the garden. She flipped on her back to watch the others catch up, and was supremely shocked to see Spike crouching in the shadow of an overgrown palm tree nearby.
"Spike?" she hissed in an excited, confused voice. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Well," He began in a rather indignant voice, "I made my way out here after I left last night, see'n as I guessed you lot probably couldn't handle all this on your own. I figured I lend you a hand. Course, silly me, I thought you would've been here a few hours ago. Wait'n around here for you all, I got stuck outside with the sunrise. So I dived for the closest shade I could, and here I am." He spoke in a voice that implied both a fair degree of annoyance and almost seemed as though he expected her to feel sympathetic for his plight. Ah, silly vampire. "On the plus side," he muttered, gesturing towards the building, "I been keeping an eye on the locals. I don't think they've got a guard or anything like that, but I been able to pick out at least twenty different faces. And that's just the ones in rooms with window."
"No, that's not good." Buffy mumbled, repositioning herself on her elbows. "That's not good at all."
Xander and Willow crawled, side by side, up to Buffy. Xander followed her gaze, and was nearly as shocked as Buffy had been. "Spike!"
Jay and Tara joined the group, and noticed Spike crouching nearby under the stumpy tree. Jay took none too kindly to the vampire, and shouted his displeasure at their meeting. "Look at this pasty mother fucker right here! What the hell you doin here?"
Spike seemed to dislike the Jersey boy with equal intensity. "I happened to be here to help you gits deal with these miscreants and get your animal back." His voice managed to convey the moral superiority that you would almost never hear coming out of a vampire. 'Spike' and 'Morality' were two concepts that, when placed in the same sentence, glared menacingly at each other across the sentence, making rude gestures at one another, until one of them violently expels the other from the paragraph.
"That, or he's here to see if he can possibly obtain a rather useful talisman for his own devices." Giles muttered, approaching in a crouching walk. He had absolutely refused to crawl on his hands and knees like poor Bob beside him, for that would be an extremely un-British thing to do. Anya followed behind them, standing quite upright. She apparently couldn't see the point in hiding, seeing as no one was on watch to see them coming.
Spike got that wonderful look of dawning recognition on his face, the one he always gets when found out to be the horribly funny self-serving son-of-a-bitch that he is."Oh, well yeah, or that. If it comes up."
Buffy moaned (No, not like Spike normally makes her moan, you little perverts.) At Spikes foolishness, and hissed at him once more. "Alright, are you going to help us?"
Spike put on his best smile and spoke to her. "Well, of course, love." He grinned in an attempt to be charming and Buffy added him into her plans.
"Alright, here's what we're going to do." She whispered to the now fully assembled group. "I'll circle the building towards the south and find a place to enter unnoticed. Jay, Bob, you guys try to do the same on the north wing."
"I gotchya," Jay muttered, "the three of us sneak in, get the lay of the place, infiltrate the base while dees guy" he gestured to the rest of the group "sit tight and wait ta come on in and bust up their crib." He nodded, pleased with his own cleverness, while most of the others stared at him with varying degrees of amazement.
"Yeah..." Buffy began slowly. "You guys wait out here, and when you see the signal, just do your best to get in and wreck havoc."
"Well how will we know when? What's the signal?" Willow asked, leaving herself open to Buffy's personal version of the clique answer to the question 'what's the signal?'
Buffy moved herself up to a crouching position, and grinned as she answered. "You'll know as soon as I come up with it." With that, she sprinted quickly and quietly away.
Jay and Silent Bob each moved to a crouching position, met eyes in a rather dramatic nod, and moved off to the north wing of the building. "Alright, Silent Bob, lets get this straight." Jay began in his lecturing voice. "We just get in there and find our monkey. No dick'n around, no pick'n fights, no nothing. We don't wanna start a fight or be noticed. Remember: In-cog-nito!" Bob gave him a thumbs up, and they moved to the wall of the building. Bob looked up, saw a line of windows on the top story, and a thought occurred to him.
He opened overcoat, and revealed a nice gun with a grappling-hook and rope attached. He fired at the roof, and Jay stuck out his tongue while making the 'rock-on!' signal with his hand. The grappling hooks landed on the roof, caught on the ledge, and Jay wrapped his arms around his comrade. Bob hooked the gun to his belt, and they flew upward. Reaching the third floor, Bob used his weight to swing them through a large set of windows. They fell through, and lay on the ground in shock for a few moments.
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Willow, who had been watching them from afar, muttered to the others. "Um, I think they're in."
Spike, whose enhanced senses allowed him a perfect sight of what had happened, grunted in an amused disbelief. "If you say so, Red."
Anya yawned loudly. "You know, they probably don't need us. I mean, they can probably take care of this whole thing themselves. Buffy is kind of running the show here, you know."
Giles seemed annoyed with the woman. "Anya, this is not just some silly little television program!"
Anya scowled at him in return. "Now who's being naive?"
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Jay and Silent Bob stood, checked themselves over, and found that they had broken into what looked like a typical meeting room. A long table dominated the area, with chairs lining either side. A thick layer of dust lined everything, and Bob doubted that the room had even been entered in years.
He waved for Jay to follow him, and moved towards a door. It opened into a long corridor, which itself looked as though it had rarely been used in recent months. The drug-dealing-duo snuck quietly down the hall, towards what the hoped was the center of the building. Passing a great many open doors, Bob saw that this was indeed an abandoned office building; rooms with empty, dusty bookcases and large spaces with cobwebbed cubicles filled too many thresholds to count. After several moments of walking, two left turns and a right, they heard voices . No, not the kind that would be sign of a good hit, these voices were a very bad sign.
"I could have sworn I heard something around here." Bob heard a distant voice growing nearer as it spoke. The two young men looked at each other in fear, and Bob grabbed Jay and pulled him into an open door. The duo pressed themselves up against a wall, and peeked around the corner of the threshold to watch who passed. Within moments two men passed by. One was a lean, mid-heighted man with short dark hair, the other a powerful looking man of a similar height, with long wavy blonde hair. It was the second who spoke first.
"Do not even pretend that you did not hear it too, Christopher." The blonde man muttered, stalking down the hall like the predator that he was.
Christopher, his dark haired comrade, walked along with an almost bored posture. "It was probably just some bookcases falling over or something. This old place is falling apart."
The blonde stopped in his tracks, and turned around to face his fellow. He had a noble face, with a sharp nose, a strong chin, an thin cheeks. He also looked as though he tried very hard to maintain this image. "Maybe, my friend," He said taking in a deep breath in an over-dramatic fashion, "But I smell something. A man I think."
Christopher took in a whiff, and wrinkled his nose at the musk of the old building. "Probably just rats. Come on, lets get back." The two men turned around, and returned the way they came. After several moments Jay and Silent Bob moved back into the hall and followed. As they snuck quietly down the hall they could pick out bits and pieces of the conversation of the two vampires.
"We aught to get some rest today. I heard Sean talking about the boss having a run in with the Slayer." Bob could hear Christopher saying. "He says it's likely that we'll be going after her sometime soon. After the Master gets through with the old geezer, he's liable to lead an assault on the city himself." He said with a chuckle.
"Yes, it is only too fitting that we hunt down the wench and dispose of her." They could hear the blonde man saying, with only the slightest hint of humor in his voice. "After all, God kills, and so shall we; indiscriminately."
Jay and Silent Bob had snuck up to a turn in the hall and peeked around, watching the two men they followed. They watched Christopher groan and saw his shoulders drop. "Ug, will you stop with those stupid 'Lestat' sayings?" They heard him shout in annoyance and disgust. "You don't even look like Tom Cruise, Lester."
"Oh, stop your complaining." Lester shouted back. "You know life would be so much worse without me." He said, chuckling.
"That's it." Christopher said, throwing up his arms in anger. "Next time I turn anybody, I'm gonna make damn sure they've never read a word of Anne Rice."
Jay and Silent Bob looked at each other as though slightly unsure of what to make of these two. They snuck quietly after them once more, keeping a great deal of distance. After a few more turns and what seemed like a hundred empty doorways, they reached the main inhabited part of the building. The main lobby of the building filled a great empty space three stories high, surrounded by balconies and bridges on three sides, with the front of the building a three story wall of glass. They entirety of the windows had been spray painted with a thick layer of black paint, leaving a number of torches and candles to light the area. Huge tapestries and murals decorated walls ad hung from the upper stories. The center of the inner space was dominated by what looked like a stone slab alter, which lay before a very impressive looking throne. On the upper story balconies, many doorways leading to what could only be called barracks could be seen.
This was no mere abandoned building serving as a nest for a troop of vampires. No, this here was a fortress.
"Damn." Jay muttered, taking in the grandiose hall. "This musta set'm back a couple hundred bucks."
Upon moving closer to one of the balconies railing, they saw their quarries walking down a flight of stairs to the second floor. It was there that the quibbling vampires intercepted a rather distracted member of their ilk. The young man was distracted primarily by a primate.
"John," They heard Christopher begin in a rather confused tone, "What are you doing with a monkey?"
They saw the ape-napper look up from Suzanne, who had been hanging by her arms around his neck. "Huh? Oh, well," He seemed almost shy and embarrassed, as though he were addressing a superior officer, "I found it in a bar. I picked it up, cause I figured it might be useful. And, well, now that I've had it for a while, it's kind of cute. I figured I might keep it."
The other vampires looked at him incredulously. "John, what the Hell is wrong with you?" Christopher asked.
"You want to keep it?" Lester pipped in. "What kinda idiot wants to keep an ape around? Let alone a vampire."
Christopher continued berating his underling. "I mean, you'd have to be a serious mentally defective faggot to want to actually keep that hairy little beast around. I can only guess you got it from a band of traveling Gypsy fags, who were too busy bending each other over to notice you making off with their ape! Now get that filthy thing out of my sight and clean yourself up." Christopher stormed past Jonathan in an annoyed fluster, leaving the young man to stand there feeling sorry for himself.
Jay looked over Bobs shoulder down on the three vampires below them. Each of the boys with a glare of serious, murderous rage on their faces. "I'm gonna kill all dees fucks." A slight gong could be heard at these words.
They watched with seldom matched ire as the two vampires they had followed made their way to the first floor, across the great hall, and into a room beyond their range of vision. Their attention then shifted to the Undead thief that caused their reason for being there in the first place. They watched young Jonathan skulk up the steps to the third story, and they very quietly snuck up to him. When they were very close behind him as he walked towards what they guessed was his room, they could hear him mumbling to Suzanne.
"You're not that bad." He seemed to be defending her as much as himself. "You're not filthy at all. Are you, girl? Are you?" He had reduced to the baby talk that people always seem to degrade themselves to when talking to supposedly less intelligent animals.
Just as he crossed the threshold of his room, a close up of a hand tapping on his shoulder (with the humorous 'Bink, Bink, Bink' sound effect) could be seen. He turned around with an exasperated "What?" appearantly thinking that his peers had followed him to verbally assault him.
He was quite surprised to see that Jay (carrying a steel bat) and Silent Bob (carrying a sharpened wooden bat Buffy had given him) had followed him to assault him, though not in a verbal fashion.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Buffy slinked along through the shadows of a corridor with such lithe grace and spry flexibility that everyone watching is reminded just how much of a U. P.N. show this really is, and some of the more pathetic loser guy readers suddenly need to go to the restroom. She had entered the building through a first story window, though in a much more silent fashion than her partners in demon hunting.
She made her way expertly unnoticed towards the center of building, following what her Slayer-senses told her was the largest concentration of the demons. Along the way she had found a single male vampire, lounging quite lazily, killing time until the sun went down. She decided that it would be better to deal with him alone right then rather than later with all of his brothers, and relieved him of his need to await nightfall.
She finally found a corridor leading to the main center throne room, and hid behind a Support pillar for observation. She saw two of the undead beasts making their way down a flight of stairs, leaving a third whose back was to her behind them. She watched the descending pair make their way across the open space, and enter a room nearby her.
Seeing that the hall was otherwise empty, she approached the doorway they had entered, and listened in. She heard several voices speaking, though she couldn't make out most of the words. She picked out a few here and there; Nightfall... Restless... Ceremony... Slayer... Pissed... (Though she wasn't sure whether it was in the context 'He was seriously pissed' or if she'd misheard and it was 'I seriously need to take a piss.')
She focused on the myriad voices, trying to make sense of it, until a single voice shouted out "Silence!" and there was no more conversation to hear. It was a dark voice that had spoken, a cold voice. Colder than an ancient grave, and deeper than the pits of hell. More commanding than will to breath, and darker than a black nights shade. It was a powerful voice, a frightening voice.
And a familiar one.
That dark and compelling voice she'd heard but just two nights before. That powerful, harmonious voice that had frozen a dozen vampires in place out of respect or fear, or both. The insidious, terrifying voice that came with a slightly noble face and a powerful, confident man.
"Listen, Old Man." The voice commanded in a rather threatening way. "I'll not long put up with your insolence. You shall remember your place and hold your tongue when you speak to me or You shall learn first hand just what the food chain is like in this town. Nor shall I tolerate your delays. We shall retrieve the talisman, But you shall be ready to use it immediately."
"Now," The voice began seeming to have gotten out some frustration, "Christopher, Lester, you shall prepare the others. Gather an attack force, we are going to make a move tonight to recover the Amulet. The Slayer has it, and she seems to be aided by a pair of very powerful warriors. I believe they are armed with weapons of a mystic nature, and we shall match their power with numbers." He received a grunt of acknowledgment, and mumbled, "You may go."
Buffy quickly moved away from the door, but apparently not quick enough. One of the vampires exiting the room heard someone running, and shouted out in alarm. "What's going on? Who's there?" Buffy stood stone-still behind a support pillar, but knew that she had lost her cover. She could hear one of them making an approach towards her, and she reached to her pants.
She pulled a large and rather impressive wooden spike out the front of her pants where the bad guys always keep a gun in the movies. (I don't know, 'She pulled a large and impressive spike out of her pants.' Would that qualify as a spoiler for the last season?) She brought the stake up to her chest and mentally prepared to fight. She could sense that the vampire was but a few feet from discovering her. He was about to look around to see her...
But the screaming body flying down from the third story somehow distracted him.
Poor Jonathan, severely bruised and beaten, fell two stories to land on a set of steps. I don't care how undead you are, that has just got to hurt like a bitch. Though, it was a better fate than Mike, who had been in his barrack when he'd been attacked. Mike had rushed to Jon's rescue when the two young men had assailed him. The tubby one had grabbed Mike by the collar and thrown him out a window. Into the sunlight.
Thank heaven for small favors, eh?
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Xander shifted on his elbows to maintain a surveillance of the place.
"Um, how are we going to know when to move in?" Willow asked uncertainly.
"Well, Buffy did say she would give a signal to attack." Giles answered, keeping an unsure eye on the building. "Though she did not specify what that might be."
They sat quietly for but a few moments before they saw a man fly through a third story window, screaming, and falling towards the ground. He didn't quite hit, however, before he had vaporized. The group shot a few curious glaces at each other.
"Think that might be the signal?" Xander asked in a somewhat uncertain voice.
"If that isn't, I'd hate to see what is, mate." Spike muttered, rather shaken to see one of his brethren destroyed in such a way. He pulled his trench coat up over his head and prepared to run for the doors. The others came up to crouching and kneeling positions, readying themselves to attack.
Giles looked at them and muttered rather lamely. "I believe a charge is in order."
The band of demon fighters stood there, crouching to the ground, trying to ready themselves for battle. They reached into their various duffle bags and pulled out assorted weapons. And eventually, the most unexpected of persons spoke.
"Grant us the will not to run, not to flinch, not to fear." Xander spoke, his head bowed, his eyes closed. "Grant Us the will to face our trials, the wisdom to find our path, the patience to await your hand, and the strength to make our way." His prayer done, he looked up at the faces of his friends, and Spike. "If you find your self alone, in a green field with the sun on your face, do not be troubled." He said with a smile on his face. "For you are already dead."
"Hey, I resent that!" Spike said, "Though all of your company would be greatly improved if you were dead."
"For others," Xander continued, "What you do in life, echoes in eternity."
Giles, who had completely missed the fact that he was quoting movies, thought along poetic lines. "We few, we happy few...."
Spike finished for him. "We band of buggered."
With a series of annoyed glances shooting their way around the group, they decided to just get it over with. They all stood, and made best speed for the main entrance.
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Okay, I know, I'm a bitch when it comes to updates, But this was a long chapter for me and I barely had any time to work on it. Any way, I hope you like it. In fact, I hope you like it enough to where you take three seconds and let me know you read it by giving even just the slightest little review.
Sorry if it doesn't have the usual Kevin Smith humor quality, but I just watched 'A Better Place,' a movie of his that is freaky as hell. You aughta see it. (See there, Kev? I'm advertising for you.) Anyway, If you dislike, Review and flame. I'd just like to know you're reading.
I hope I'll update soon, but I can't promise. In the mean time,
-Love and Snoochie Boochies
The rights to the characters of Kevin Smith's works.
The rights to the characters of Joss Whendon's works.
The Hope Diamond
The rights to the concepts of Batman, or any of his wonderful toys.
The rights to Mr. Coffee.
The rights to James Dean.
A Porsche.
The rights to the works of Anne Rice.
The rights to the works of George Lucas, not even his more recent Episodes. (Not that I couldn't have done a better job on the first one...) Heck, I don't even have a light-saber.
The rights to the works of Ridley Scott.
A Gladiator (Though I did get into this costume for my girlfriend one time...)
The rights to Dawson's Creek, though I am currently involved in a legal dispute which, hopefully, shall give me ownership of a nice pond.
I am not receiving money from the use of any of these things, and while I wish this were not the case, it is. Kev, Joss, please don't sue me.
Chapter Eleven
Stealing, Boning, Blowing Shit Up...
Buffy walked down the steps approximately five hours later. She wore a rather plain white shirt and her pajama pants. She entered the kitchen, moving towards the Mr. Coffee with great anticipation. She noticed Willow, siting at the table, a laptop and a bowl of cereal before her. The ravenous little redhead saw Buffy entering and took on a devious (well, devious for her) grin.
"You're looking well," remarked Willow, managing to load the usually innocuous phrase with so many layers of meaning that Buffy jerked to a halt mid-step with a wary look.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Buffy asked, her brain not quite active considering the hour of day, and how few she had slept before that.
"Well, I'm just saying that you must have slept real nice, what with Bob right down the hall." Willow said in a knowing' voice. She locked those big ol' eyes on Buffy and broke from her patronizing comments. "Come on, you got the major hots for him." She cam very close to making the kind of giggle she'd seldom made since highschool.
"Oh, I so do not." Buffy defended herself against the non-attack.
"Pu-leez , Buffy. They way you two were looking at each other last night, it was pretty obvious to everyone but you two. You aught to say something to him."
Buffy seemed to consider this. "You really think so? I mean, he does leave in a few days."
"Yeah." Willow. She smiled. "There's something kinda romantic about knowing it would end soon, ya know? Like something out of an old movie or something." She took a spoonful of frosted flakes. "Besides, I do recognize he is kinda cute. Not that I appreciate his maleness, But you don't have to be an art buff to recognize a decent painting, ya know?"
Buffy smiled, nodding, and took her mug out of the cabinet.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Jay looked over to Bob, who sat on the couch beside him. He nodded to the kitchen. "Yo, Silent Bob, I think that Buffy broads got a thing for ya. Ya aughta make a move."
Bob gave jay a skeptical look and smacked his shoulder.
"Naw, seriously." Jay went on.
Bob shrugged and seemed to think forlornly about the young blond.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
When all the occupants of the household were awake, alert, and had had a drink or two of coffee, they gathered in the kitchen before setting off to meet the others.
"Alright Xander." Buffy spoke to the receiver of the phone, looking at Jay and Silent Bob reading Willows computer over her shoulder. "We'll meet you there in twenty. Bye." She hung up the phone and walked over to the table in time to hear Jay asking what this web-site was.
Willow explained what the page she was researching was. "This is a site populated by militant magic buffs; sad, pathetic little bastard's, living in their parents basements, downloading spells, sharing what they think is 'inside information' about the demons they claim to despise, yet can't stop discussing." She smirked at some of the amateur advice posted like prize jewel pieces of information. "I'm trying to find any new information of Getrovious before we go."
"Ta hell with that shit." Jay said, straightening up with his fists in front of him. "I say we just go in there, I call dees bitches out, and rip'm up Wolvie-Beserk style! Take out the main motha fucka, and bikity-bam! Mother fuckers are done, we go home an smoke a victory blunt." He then proceeded into a complicated series of motions with his arms, in imitation of his beastly-named idol.
"Are we all ready?" Buffy asked. All present nodded, and they each picked up various bags or cases containing a great many items sharp and pointy.
They walked down the sidewalk in a slightly more tightly packed cluster than the night before. Willow and Tara again took the lead, with Buffy and Bob only six or seven feet behind. Jay followed by nearly ten feet, seemingly moving along to the beat of music which only he could hear.
"Hey these bitches think they're fast,
Well we're gonna kick their ass.
Punch, punch, kick, kick, punch it, pile-
drive'n, kick'n ass X-men style,
After we whoop dees vampire queers,
We'll go smoke a blunt and drink some beers,
Whoop these fuck'n bitch-ass Hoes,
when we go, we go, we go.
My jungle love... O-E-O-E-O
think I wanna know ya, know ya..."
Up with Buffy and Bob, each had a look of serious thought and vague nervousness. As they each considered the advice they had received from their respective friends, they shot foolish little glances at each other. Really, they had each been in the presence of Gods (granted, the two were on opposite sides), you would think that they could work up the nerve to make a move on a member of the opposite sex.
Though this may come as a surprise, Buffy began the conversation. "So, do you think you guys are up to this?" To which Bob nodded. "Good, good. So Bob," She began, and he turned to look at her directly, "You got a girlfriend back in Jersey?"
He smiled and shook his head, as if the idea of him having a girlfriend was a funny thing. Then, looking into her eyes, he took on a rather mischievous grin. Using nothing but an incline of the head and his eyebrows, he gave the unmistakable impression of asking 'What about you?'
"No, I don't have a girlfriend in Jersey either." Buffy answered jokingly. They each chuckled politely, and slowly, Buffy placed her hand in Bobs, their fingers interlacing.
They walked in silent joy for several minutes, and hardly could one tell that it was to battle that they marched. They could have been off to a stroll in the park, or some other bright and cheerful place.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Xander closed the door of his car as he got out with an almighty thump. He straightened out his back, still not quite rested from the three hours sleep he'd managed to get, and leaned against the car. He leaned in a rather clique way: A guy standing at the side of a lonely, dusty road, waiting for people to arrive. It seemed that he would not need to wait too long. He squinted at the glare blazing from the windshield of a car that neared. It stopped right where he stood, the driver side window rolling down as it approached. Giles put his forearm out along the door, peering out at Xander once he'd stopped the car.
"Are they here yet?" He asked in a somehow ominous fashion.
Xander looked down from the roof tops to Giles face in such an over-dramatic way that is reminiscent of a James Bond henchman. "Naw." He answered, breaking from his dark look and resuming his usual cheerfulness. "They aught to be here in a few."
Giles nodded and pulled forward. He parked his car in front of Xanders', got out, and walked up to the younger man. "I think it might be wise to proceed on foot from here." Xander nodded, resuming a slightly zoned-out stance. Giles assumed a stance beside him, similarly leaning against the car. He looked around after a moment before asking. "Where's Anya?"
Xander answered without breaking his staring contest with the distance. "She's in the backseat, sleeping. She figured 'if we're about to go get ourselves killed, she might as well be well-rested when we do so.'" He almost seemed to chuckle at this. "I gotta admit, I can't really argue with the logic, but there's not really enough room in the back seat for both of us. Well, not to sleep anyway." He didn't exactly mean to say that last bit aloud, but since Giles wasn't really listening it was okay.
Giles was paying more attention to the approaching group of persons making their way down the road towards them. The young pair of witches in the lead was of particular interest, for reason completely besides him being a randy old bugger. The two women seemed rather content, peaceful. In other words, not at all like they were about to go battle a troop of vampires in any way. The next two youths seemed even more unexcited about the affair, looking far too cheerful for the planned event. While they had been discreet enough to not hold hands this whole way, they did seem to be rather close to each other as Giles stared at the pair.
In fact, of the entire group, the last young man was by far the most energetic. Almost dancing in place, throwing rhythmic punches and elbows in the air in front of him, he seemed to be chanting a tone under his breath. Giles assumed that the young man was preforming some kind of personal ritual before going into battle.
They walked up to the car, the whole group standing around in a vague circle. A series of somewhat expectant looks shot their way between the people, and when one or two impacted with Ms. Summers cranium, she spoke.
"What?" she asked the persons who had looked at her in the conspicuous manner.
"I think this is where someone gives a big pep-talk, inspiring us all and filling us with hope before we march blindly into battle." Xander said in a far off, James Dean sort of way, not exactly breaking off his stare into the distance.
"Oh." Buffy said simply, not seeming to be able to find the enthusiasm to deliver her normal impromptu. "Um," She muttered, feeling put on the spot, as it were, "Let's go get'm guys! Kick some vampire butt." She spoke with almost pathetically fake energy.
"You people do realize that we are going into battle against a likely superior force?" Giles asked, and he seemed to be getting almost annoyed at the lack of enthusiasm. "Why is no one acting at least somewhat as if this were the case?"
"Well, it's sort of to be expected, G-man." Xander started, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. "I mean, we haven't had much sleep, we know just where we're going, just what we're doing, and while, granted, these aren't just your daily vampire Hijinks, it's not exactly as if we haven't dealt with worse." As he said this, he got a couple of nods and agreeing looks of acknowledge. He stepped away from the car and moved towards the others. "Plus the fact that we've got a couple of extra guys along for the ride." He added, patting Jay on the shoulder.
"Yeah." Jay said in a long, low, almost threatening way.
"So are we ready to go?" Buffy asked, at which Giles sighed. Xander opened his trunk, picking a few rather large weapons out, and knocked on the backseat window.
"Wake up An, it's the end of the world."
She turned on her side, not quite awake, and muttered. "Have fun storming the castle."
"Come on, dear, put your jacket on and let's go." He said. She awoke, and the group continued on their way. He continued his explanations to Giles as they walked. "Besides, even given that one of these guys has managed to activate these talismans, we're not even sure of how strong this guy might be." He paused for a second, and recognized exactly what he'd just said. "I'm not sure how, but I meant that as a good thing."
Anya piped up at this point. "It's okay dear. But you do have a good point; This wizard or whatever might not have even gotten through with all the ceremony and whatnot to activate these talismans."
"Oh Anya, don't be so naive to count on that." Giles quipped, seeming perturbed with the young people nonetheless. "Well it puzzles me, regardless, of how you all can take this so lightly. I do say, this does seem as though it were strangely simplistic."
"And what's worse," Buffy said in a pseudo-humorous way from the front of the group, "Anti-climatic."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
After fifteen minutes of walking, the group approached a respectable looking, if old and slightly run down, estate. One might have called it a mansion, but then again that wouldn't have taken into account the slightly business-like nature of its appearance. The whole building was only three stories high, but having a single main building with what looked like a wing branching off to either side made it extremely large building.
The Scoobies approached quietly and in a very poorly sneaky way. A series of decorative gardens lined a large parking lot, and the young people, and not to mention Giles, moved in crouching behind shrubbery. Buffy, in the lead, came to a stop, lying behind a large fern at the innermost edge of the garden. She flipped on her back to watch the others catch up, and was supremely shocked to see Spike crouching in the shadow of an overgrown palm tree nearby.
"Spike?" she hissed in an excited, confused voice. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Well," He began in a rather indignant voice, "I made my way out here after I left last night, see'n as I guessed you lot probably couldn't handle all this on your own. I figured I lend you a hand. Course, silly me, I thought you would've been here a few hours ago. Wait'n around here for you all, I got stuck outside with the sunrise. So I dived for the closest shade I could, and here I am." He spoke in a voice that implied both a fair degree of annoyance and almost seemed as though he expected her to feel sympathetic for his plight. Ah, silly vampire. "On the plus side," he muttered, gesturing towards the building, "I been keeping an eye on the locals. I don't think they've got a guard or anything like that, but I been able to pick out at least twenty different faces. And that's just the ones in rooms with window."
"No, that's not good." Buffy mumbled, repositioning herself on her elbows. "That's not good at all."
Xander and Willow crawled, side by side, up to Buffy. Xander followed her gaze, and was nearly as shocked as Buffy had been. "Spike!"
Jay and Tara joined the group, and noticed Spike crouching nearby under the stumpy tree. Jay took none too kindly to the vampire, and shouted his displeasure at their meeting. "Look at this pasty mother fucker right here! What the hell you doin here?"
Spike seemed to dislike the Jersey boy with equal intensity. "I happened to be here to help you gits deal with these miscreants and get your animal back." His voice managed to convey the moral superiority that you would almost never hear coming out of a vampire. 'Spike' and 'Morality' were two concepts that, when placed in the same sentence, glared menacingly at each other across the sentence, making rude gestures at one another, until one of them violently expels the other from the paragraph.
"That, or he's here to see if he can possibly obtain a rather useful talisman for his own devices." Giles muttered, approaching in a crouching walk. He had absolutely refused to crawl on his hands and knees like poor Bob beside him, for that would be an extremely un-British thing to do. Anya followed behind them, standing quite upright. She apparently couldn't see the point in hiding, seeing as no one was on watch to see them coming.
Spike got that wonderful look of dawning recognition on his face, the one he always gets when found out to be the horribly funny self-serving son-of-a-bitch that he is."Oh, well yeah, or that. If it comes up."
Buffy moaned (No, not like Spike normally makes her moan, you little perverts.) At Spikes foolishness, and hissed at him once more. "Alright, are you going to help us?"
Spike put on his best smile and spoke to her. "Well, of course, love." He grinned in an attempt to be charming and Buffy added him into her plans.
"Alright, here's what we're going to do." She whispered to the now fully assembled group. "I'll circle the building towards the south and find a place to enter unnoticed. Jay, Bob, you guys try to do the same on the north wing."
"I gotchya," Jay muttered, "the three of us sneak in, get the lay of the place, infiltrate the base while dees guy" he gestured to the rest of the group "sit tight and wait ta come on in and bust up their crib." He nodded, pleased with his own cleverness, while most of the others stared at him with varying degrees of amazement.
"Yeah..." Buffy began slowly. "You guys wait out here, and when you see the signal, just do your best to get in and wreck havoc."
"Well how will we know when? What's the signal?" Willow asked, leaving herself open to Buffy's personal version of the clique answer to the question 'what's the signal?'
Buffy moved herself up to a crouching position, and grinned as she answered. "You'll know as soon as I come up with it." With that, she sprinted quickly and quietly away.
Jay and Silent Bob each moved to a crouching position, met eyes in a rather dramatic nod, and moved off to the north wing of the building. "Alright, Silent Bob, lets get this straight." Jay began in his lecturing voice. "We just get in there and find our monkey. No dick'n around, no pick'n fights, no nothing. We don't wanna start a fight or be noticed. Remember: In-cog-nito!" Bob gave him a thumbs up, and they moved to the wall of the building. Bob looked up, saw a line of windows on the top story, and a thought occurred to him.
He opened overcoat, and revealed a nice gun with a grappling-hook and rope attached. He fired at the roof, and Jay stuck out his tongue while making the 'rock-on!' signal with his hand. The grappling hooks landed on the roof, caught on the ledge, and Jay wrapped his arms around his comrade. Bob hooked the gun to his belt, and they flew upward. Reaching the third floor, Bob used his weight to swing them through a large set of windows. They fell through, and lay on the ground in shock for a few moments.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Willow, who had been watching them from afar, muttered to the others. "Um, I think they're in."
Spike, whose enhanced senses allowed him a perfect sight of what had happened, grunted in an amused disbelief. "If you say so, Red."
Anya yawned loudly. "You know, they probably don't need us. I mean, they can probably take care of this whole thing themselves. Buffy is kind of running the show here, you know."
Giles seemed annoyed with the woman. "Anya, this is not just some silly little television program!"
Anya scowled at him in return. "Now who's being naive?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Jay and Silent Bob stood, checked themselves over, and found that they had broken into what looked like a typical meeting room. A long table dominated the area, with chairs lining either side. A thick layer of dust lined everything, and Bob doubted that the room had even been entered in years.
He waved for Jay to follow him, and moved towards a door. It opened into a long corridor, which itself looked as though it had rarely been used in recent months. The drug-dealing-duo snuck quietly down the hall, towards what the hoped was the center of the building. Passing a great many open doors, Bob saw that this was indeed an abandoned office building; rooms with empty, dusty bookcases and large spaces with cobwebbed cubicles filled too many thresholds to count. After several moments of walking, two left turns and a right, they heard voices . No, not the kind that would be sign of a good hit, these voices were a very bad sign.
"I could have sworn I heard something around here." Bob heard a distant voice growing nearer as it spoke. The two young men looked at each other in fear, and Bob grabbed Jay and pulled him into an open door. The duo pressed themselves up against a wall, and peeked around the corner of the threshold to watch who passed. Within moments two men passed by. One was a lean, mid-heighted man with short dark hair, the other a powerful looking man of a similar height, with long wavy blonde hair. It was the second who spoke first.
"Do not even pretend that you did not hear it too, Christopher." The blonde man muttered, stalking down the hall like the predator that he was.
Christopher, his dark haired comrade, walked along with an almost bored posture. "It was probably just some bookcases falling over or something. This old place is falling apart."
The blonde stopped in his tracks, and turned around to face his fellow. He had a noble face, with a sharp nose, a strong chin, an thin cheeks. He also looked as though he tried very hard to maintain this image. "Maybe, my friend," He said taking in a deep breath in an over-dramatic fashion, "But I smell something. A man I think."
Christopher took in a whiff, and wrinkled his nose at the musk of the old building. "Probably just rats. Come on, lets get back." The two men turned around, and returned the way they came. After several moments Jay and Silent Bob moved back into the hall and followed. As they snuck quietly down the hall they could pick out bits and pieces of the conversation of the two vampires.
"We aught to get some rest today. I heard Sean talking about the boss having a run in with the Slayer." Bob could hear Christopher saying. "He says it's likely that we'll be going after her sometime soon. After the Master gets through with the old geezer, he's liable to lead an assault on the city himself." He said with a chuckle.
"Yes, it is only too fitting that we hunt down the wench and dispose of her." They could hear the blonde man saying, with only the slightest hint of humor in his voice. "After all, God kills, and so shall we; indiscriminately."
Jay and Silent Bob had snuck up to a turn in the hall and peeked around, watching the two men they followed. They watched Christopher groan and saw his shoulders drop. "Ug, will you stop with those stupid 'Lestat' sayings?" They heard him shout in annoyance and disgust. "You don't even look like Tom Cruise, Lester."
"Oh, stop your complaining." Lester shouted back. "You know life would be so much worse without me." He said, chuckling.
"That's it." Christopher said, throwing up his arms in anger. "Next time I turn anybody, I'm gonna make damn sure they've never read a word of Anne Rice."
Jay and Silent Bob looked at each other as though slightly unsure of what to make of these two. They snuck quietly after them once more, keeping a great deal of distance. After a few more turns and what seemed like a hundred empty doorways, they reached the main inhabited part of the building. The main lobby of the building filled a great empty space three stories high, surrounded by balconies and bridges on three sides, with the front of the building a three story wall of glass. They entirety of the windows had been spray painted with a thick layer of black paint, leaving a number of torches and candles to light the area. Huge tapestries and murals decorated walls ad hung from the upper stories. The center of the inner space was dominated by what looked like a stone slab alter, which lay before a very impressive looking throne. On the upper story balconies, many doorways leading to what could only be called barracks could be seen.
This was no mere abandoned building serving as a nest for a troop of vampires. No, this here was a fortress.
"Damn." Jay muttered, taking in the grandiose hall. "This musta set'm back a couple hundred bucks."
Upon moving closer to one of the balconies railing, they saw their quarries walking down a flight of stairs to the second floor. It was there that the quibbling vampires intercepted a rather distracted member of their ilk. The young man was distracted primarily by a primate.
"John," They heard Christopher begin in a rather confused tone, "What are you doing with a monkey?"
They saw the ape-napper look up from Suzanne, who had been hanging by her arms around his neck. "Huh? Oh, well," He seemed almost shy and embarrassed, as though he were addressing a superior officer, "I found it in a bar. I picked it up, cause I figured it might be useful. And, well, now that I've had it for a while, it's kind of cute. I figured I might keep it."
The other vampires looked at him incredulously. "John, what the Hell is wrong with you?" Christopher asked.
"You want to keep it?" Lester pipped in. "What kinda idiot wants to keep an ape around? Let alone a vampire."
Christopher continued berating his underling. "I mean, you'd have to be a serious mentally defective faggot to want to actually keep that hairy little beast around. I can only guess you got it from a band of traveling Gypsy fags, who were too busy bending each other over to notice you making off with their ape! Now get that filthy thing out of my sight and clean yourself up." Christopher stormed past Jonathan in an annoyed fluster, leaving the young man to stand there feeling sorry for himself.
Jay looked over Bobs shoulder down on the three vampires below them. Each of the boys with a glare of serious, murderous rage on their faces. "I'm gonna kill all dees fucks." A slight gong could be heard at these words.
They watched with seldom matched ire as the two vampires they had followed made their way to the first floor, across the great hall, and into a room beyond their range of vision. Their attention then shifted to the Undead thief that caused their reason for being there in the first place. They watched young Jonathan skulk up the steps to the third story, and they very quietly snuck up to him. When they were very close behind him as he walked towards what they guessed was his room, they could hear him mumbling to Suzanne.
"You're not that bad." He seemed to be defending her as much as himself. "You're not filthy at all. Are you, girl? Are you?" He had reduced to the baby talk that people always seem to degrade themselves to when talking to supposedly less intelligent animals.
Just as he crossed the threshold of his room, a close up of a hand tapping on his shoulder (with the humorous 'Bink, Bink, Bink' sound effect) could be seen. He turned around with an exasperated "What?" appearantly thinking that his peers had followed him to verbally assault him.
He was quite surprised to see that Jay (carrying a steel bat) and Silent Bob (carrying a sharpened wooden bat Buffy had given him) had followed him to assault him, though not in a verbal fashion.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Buffy slinked along through the shadows of a corridor with such lithe grace and spry flexibility that everyone watching is reminded just how much of a U. P.N. show this really is, and some of the more pathetic loser guy readers suddenly need to go to the restroom. She had entered the building through a first story window, though in a much more silent fashion than her partners in demon hunting.
She made her way expertly unnoticed towards the center of building, following what her Slayer-senses told her was the largest concentration of the demons. Along the way she had found a single male vampire, lounging quite lazily, killing time until the sun went down. She decided that it would be better to deal with him alone right then rather than later with all of his brothers, and relieved him of his need to await nightfall.
She finally found a corridor leading to the main center throne room, and hid behind a Support pillar for observation. She saw two of the undead beasts making their way down a flight of stairs, leaving a third whose back was to her behind them. She watched the descending pair make their way across the open space, and enter a room nearby her.
Seeing that the hall was otherwise empty, she approached the doorway they had entered, and listened in. She heard several voices speaking, though she couldn't make out most of the words. She picked out a few here and there; Nightfall... Restless... Ceremony... Slayer... Pissed... (Though she wasn't sure whether it was in the context 'He was seriously pissed' or if she'd misheard and it was 'I seriously need to take a piss.')
She focused on the myriad voices, trying to make sense of it, until a single voice shouted out "Silence!" and there was no more conversation to hear. It was a dark voice that had spoken, a cold voice. Colder than an ancient grave, and deeper than the pits of hell. More commanding than will to breath, and darker than a black nights shade. It was a powerful voice, a frightening voice.
And a familiar one.
That dark and compelling voice she'd heard but just two nights before. That powerful, harmonious voice that had frozen a dozen vampires in place out of respect or fear, or both. The insidious, terrifying voice that came with a slightly noble face and a powerful, confident man.
"Listen, Old Man." The voice commanded in a rather threatening way. "I'll not long put up with your insolence. You shall remember your place and hold your tongue when you speak to me or You shall learn first hand just what the food chain is like in this town. Nor shall I tolerate your delays. We shall retrieve the talisman, But you shall be ready to use it immediately."
"Now," The voice began seeming to have gotten out some frustration, "Christopher, Lester, you shall prepare the others. Gather an attack force, we are going to make a move tonight to recover the Amulet. The Slayer has it, and she seems to be aided by a pair of very powerful warriors. I believe they are armed with weapons of a mystic nature, and we shall match their power with numbers." He received a grunt of acknowledgment, and mumbled, "You may go."
Buffy quickly moved away from the door, but apparently not quick enough. One of the vampires exiting the room heard someone running, and shouted out in alarm. "What's going on? Who's there?" Buffy stood stone-still behind a support pillar, but knew that she had lost her cover. She could hear one of them making an approach towards her, and she reached to her pants.
She pulled a large and rather impressive wooden spike out the front of her pants where the bad guys always keep a gun in the movies. (I don't know, 'She pulled a large and impressive spike out of her pants.' Would that qualify as a spoiler for the last season?) She brought the stake up to her chest and mentally prepared to fight. She could sense that the vampire was but a few feet from discovering her. He was about to look around to see her...
But the screaming body flying down from the third story somehow distracted him.
Poor Jonathan, severely bruised and beaten, fell two stories to land on a set of steps. I don't care how undead you are, that has just got to hurt like a bitch. Though, it was a better fate than Mike, who had been in his barrack when he'd been attacked. Mike had rushed to Jon's rescue when the two young men had assailed him. The tubby one had grabbed Mike by the collar and thrown him out a window. Into the sunlight.
Thank heaven for small favors, eh?
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Xander shifted on his elbows to maintain a surveillance of the place.
"Um, how are we going to know when to move in?" Willow asked uncertainly.
"Well, Buffy did say she would give a signal to attack." Giles answered, keeping an unsure eye on the building. "Though she did not specify what that might be."
They sat quietly for but a few moments before they saw a man fly through a third story window, screaming, and falling towards the ground. He didn't quite hit, however, before he had vaporized. The group shot a few curious glaces at each other.
"Think that might be the signal?" Xander asked in a somewhat uncertain voice.
"If that isn't, I'd hate to see what is, mate." Spike muttered, rather shaken to see one of his brethren destroyed in such a way. He pulled his trench coat up over his head and prepared to run for the doors. The others came up to crouching and kneeling positions, readying themselves to attack.
Giles looked at them and muttered rather lamely. "I believe a charge is in order."
The band of demon fighters stood there, crouching to the ground, trying to ready themselves for battle. They reached into their various duffle bags and pulled out assorted weapons. And eventually, the most unexpected of persons spoke.
"Grant us the will not to run, not to flinch, not to fear." Xander spoke, his head bowed, his eyes closed. "Grant Us the will to face our trials, the wisdom to find our path, the patience to await your hand, and the strength to make our way." His prayer done, he looked up at the faces of his friends, and Spike. "If you find your self alone, in a green field with the sun on your face, do not be troubled." He said with a smile on his face. "For you are already dead."
"Hey, I resent that!" Spike said, "Though all of your company would be greatly improved if you were dead."
"For others," Xander continued, "What you do in life, echoes in eternity."
Giles, who had completely missed the fact that he was quoting movies, thought along poetic lines. "We few, we happy few...."
Spike finished for him. "We band of buggered."
With a series of annoyed glances shooting their way around the group, they decided to just get it over with. They all stood, and made best speed for the main entrance.
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Okay, I know, I'm a bitch when it comes to updates, But this was a long chapter for me and I barely had any time to work on it. Any way, I hope you like it. In fact, I hope you like it enough to where you take three seconds and let me know you read it by giving even just the slightest little review.
Sorry if it doesn't have the usual Kevin Smith humor quality, but I just watched 'A Better Place,' a movie of his that is freaky as hell. You aughta see it. (See there, Kev? I'm advertising for you.) Anyway, If you dislike, Review and flame. I'd just like to know you're reading.
I hope I'll update soon, but I can't promise. In the mean time,
-Love and Snoochie Boochies