Well it's my first Yu-gi-oh fic and I hope you guys like it!!
Please R&R!!! All criticisms accepted! First and foremost Yu-gi-oh and all
assorted characters are not mine but I am currently planning a way to make
them mine MUAHAHAHAHAHAH! Now I also want to thank people who helped me on
the beginning because my beginnings well suck! Also, Eminem and Vanilla Ice
do not belong to me. If they did I would have committed suicide.
"I am so bored." Yami Bakura groaned, slumping on the couch. "Figures Bakura takes off the Ring before he goes to school, leaving me stranded here!" The ancient tomb robber crossed his arms angrily. "Okay, so maybe I DID try to strangle him and set his hamster on fire, but still.." Yami Bakura's gaze suddenly fell upon a strange, black, rectangular object with many grey buttons (A.K.A, the T.V. remote). "Hmmm." Yami Bakura picked it up thoughtfully. "What is this strange contraption?" He experimentally pressed the button labeled 'Power'. The T.V. turned on with a click. However, the volume was turned down so low, it didn't quite reach the ancient spirit's ears, and thus he had no idea that the T.V. in front of him was on. He still stared at the remote. "Nothing happened. Well, what does this do?" He pressed the channel up button. The channels quickly switched upward, finally coming to a stop on BET. A rap music video was playing. Still unaware of anything, Yami Bakura shook the 'strange device' several times. Finally, he pressed the volume up button. Obviously, the sound became louder until.. "MY DAAAAAAAWWWWG!" The rapper on the screen blared. Yami Bakura screamed and dived behind the couch. Cautiously, he peered over the top. On the T.V. screen, the rapper stomped around, surrounded by bikini-clad women. The screen changed to show him riding in a bouncing car, wearing a fur coat and a pimp hat. Yami Bakura stared at the video unblinkingly, trying to make sense of the rapper's cryptic speech. His elbow unknowingly bumped the forgotten T.V. remote, turning the T.V. off suddenly. Yami Bakura gaped at the television's now blank screen, stunned. Suddenly, he leapt to his feet. " 'Tis a message from the Gods!' He cried. "The strange noise- picture box commands me to become like that strange being it has shown me!" He bowed towards the sun. "I hear your command and obey, Oh Gods." Yami Bakura straightened and frowned. "But." He puzzled, "How am I to become like the strange man on the screen? In truth, it sounds like sheer madness. but I must obey the gods!! The noise-picture box compels me! Who should I speak with to complete my appointed task?!?" Yami Bakura thought for a moment. "AHA!" He exclaimed, snapping his fingers, "There is only one other being on the Earth who would understand such a quest! I must go speak to one of the maddest people I know!"
* * * "So, what brings you to see me, Yami Bakura?" Pegasus questioned taking a sip of his wine. "I have received a message from the gods." Yami Bakura announced gravely. "Hmm. I see, and how exactly is it that I can." Pegasus began. Suddenly, the door to Pegasus's office burst open. Bandit Keith stood in the doorway. But, something was amiss. His clothes were ragged and torn, his skin had developed the sickly grey pallor of the not-so-recently deceased. "Pegasus." The apparition groaned, reaching a hand out towards the billionaire. "AAAAAAHHHH" Yami Bakura shrieked, diving under the table. He glanced up to see what kind of reaction Pegasus must be having to this murderous specter. To Yami Bakura's shock, Pegasus's expression was one of complete annoyance. "Oh, for crying out loud!!" He snapped, slamming his wine glass down hard onto the table, causing some wine to spill onto his hand. "How many times do I have to tell you to LEAVE ME ALONE!?!" "How can you expect me to leave you alone??" Bandit fumed. "You killed me!!" "It's MY fault you can't swim?!?!" Pegasus rolled his eyes. "Besides, you were the one pointing a gun to my head remember?!?" "Well. it's still your fault!" Bandit stuttered. He stretched his arms out to Pegasus and gave a ghostly moan. "And I'll haunt you forever." "Oh go away." Pegasus made a shooing motion with his hands. "Don't you even feel the SLIGHTEST bit of remorse for my death?!" Bandit exclaimed. "Er. not really no." Pegasus shrugged. "Now will you please leave me alone?" "I can't" Bandit stared at the floor. "And why not?" "Because I'm undead and I'm lonely!" Bandit sat heavily down into the chair next to Pegasus and began sobbing into his hands. "Now stop that!" Pegasus said indignantly. "Can't you see I'm having a meeting with Yami Bakura?!?!? I've got no time for you! Shoo! Shoo!" "Time out!!" Yami Bakura crawled out from under the table and leapt to his feet. "Am I MISSING something here?! Bandit's come back from the grave as a zombie and all you can do is be slightly ANNOYED?!?" "Well what am I supposed to do, fear him?" Pegasus rolled his eyes. "Take a good look at the stiff! He's PATHETIC!" "Oh blow it out your ear!" Bandit muttered. He produced a bottle filled with red liquid out of his pocket and took a swig. Yami Bakura paled. "I. Is that." He gulped, staring at the bottle. He read the bottle's label. ".V8???" A sweat drop appeared on the spirit's forehead. "That's tomato juice?" "Well duh!" Bandit growled. "What were you expecting? Blood?" "Considering you're an UNDEAD ZOMBIE." Pegasus remarked dryly, resting his chin in his hand. "Beware." Bandit moaned. Pegasus whacked him on the head with his wine glass. "Knock it off."
"Dammit." Bandit grumbled, rubbing his head. "How can I ever rest in peace, not being able to bring you pain?" "You're bringing me plenty of ANNOYANCE, which is very close." Pegasus sighed. "So why don't you run along to wherever the heck it is you're supposed to go and let ME rest in peace!?!?" "No way!" Bandit snarled. "Fine, be that way." Pegasus shook his head, irritated. "Now, be a good zombie and shut up while Yami Bakura and I talk. Now, Yami Bakura." He turned back to face the ancient thief, clearing his throat. "About this, er. message from the gods." "Oh, uh. yeah." Yami Bakura shook his head slightly, clearing it. He sat down once more. "You see the Gods visited upon me a very confusing vision. They showed to me a strange man, and, as far as I can understand. I think the Gods want me to become like him. I thought you might be able to help me." "Uh huh." Pegasus pulled a bottle of wine from a liquor cabinet in the corner, before sitting back down and beginning to fill a new glass, the previous one having been broken over Bandit's head. "Tell me about this man you saw." "It was all very bizarre." Yami Bakura scratched his head. "He spoke a strange language. It sounded like English, but there were words I've never heard before. And he spoke very fast, to music. His clothing was very odd as well. Sometimes it was very fancy with leather and fur. But most of the time he was wearing very loose, casual clothing. Like. um, sports jerseys and bandannas." Bandit snorted loudly, spitting out his tomato juice. "You," he coughed, "You. want to be a rapper?!?" The zombie duelist began to laugh. "Oh, that's too good!! YOU! A rapper!!" "You really want to become a rapper, Yami Bakura?" Pegasus eyed him incredulously, ignoring Bandit's hysterics. "If that is what that strange being is, then yes." Yami Bakura nodded fiercely. "It was commanded of me by the Gods. I must appease them." "Out of curiosity, what form did this, er, message from above take?" Pegasus questioned. "The Gods spoke to me through a black box with a face of glass that became filled with sounds and pictures as colorful and loud as if the events lay before me." Yami
Bakura breathed dramatically, his gaze upon the heavens. "And then it. fell silent." Pegasus fell flat on his face. "You mean. the T.V.?" He groaned, getting back to his feet. "The. Tee. Vee?" Yami Bakura blinked, confused. "Is this the mortal name for the noise and picture box?" "Um. yeah." "Oh brother." Bandit shook his head. "Look, Egyptian dude, your 'heavenly vision' was just some music video!" "Music video? What is this phrase?" Yami Bakura cocked his head to one side. Bandit buried his head in his hands. "Oh let him go." Pegasus laughed, waving a hand. "What is the harm if he wants to be a rap star?" "Another white rapper?" Bandit glared daggers at Pegasus. "Another Eminem?! Another Vanilla Ice?!" "Oh." Pegasus cringed. "Um good point. Well, with the right guide, Yami Bakura won't make quite as much of a mess. Um. I hope." Pegasus brightened. "I know! I'll be your manager!" "Manager?" "Yes, you'll provide the talent and I'll provide the brains." Pegasus replied. "You're short at both ends." Bandit snickered. Pegasus ground Bandit's head into the desk. "Of course, I get the customary 10%." Pegasus told Yami Bakura, ignoring the zombie's squeals of pain. "10% of what?" Yami Bakura frowned puzzled. "This is going to be the easiest money I have ever made." Pegasus rubbed his hands together gleefully. "Now let's see." He looked the spirit over appraisingly. "We'll have to work on your image. The clothes definitely must go. except the Millenium Ring, of course. All rappers have medallions, these days. And we need to give you a new name. hmmm." Pegasus appeared thoughtful for a moment. (Someone should have taken a picture and sold it to Ripley's.) Finally, he snapped his fingers. "I've got it! Yami B!" "WHAT!!?!" Yami Bakura exclaimed. "That's awful!" "It's catchy and it'll sell. You can suffer the personal sting for your heavenly mission, right?" "I suppose." Yami Bakura replied grudgingly. "Okay then, from now on you only go by Yami B." Pegasus said sternly. "What's your name?" "Yami B." "Good man." Pegasus patted his 'client' on the back. "Now then." Pegasus pulled a pair of mirrored sunglasses out of nowhere, and donned them, as well as a British accent. "Time to 'ave my people call some other people and do lunch!" "Where did that accent come from?" Bandit asked, horrified. "I've always 'ad it, you simpleton! I've just been suppressin' it for the sake a' blendin' in." Pegasus snapped. "Blending in?" Bandit ran his eyes over Pegasus incredulously. "Red suit, funny lace shirt, really long hair, golden thing jammed into your eye." "Okay, so it was just on account a' my accent's kinda' ridiculous soundin'." Pegasus admitted. "And it makes you even gayer seeming than before." Yami B added. "Yes, and it ." Pegasus's eyes bugged out "Say what!?! I am not gay!! What on earth makes you think so!?!" Bandit Keith and Yami B gave him narrow looks. "Er. alright, so I do act a bit on the queer side. but I'm not! Really!" "Uh huh." Yami B raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Hey, wait a second!" Bandit exclaimed worriedly. "If you two are going to go running off on some musical odyssey, what's going to happen to me?!" "Um. I think the real question here is, should I care?" Yami B said coldly. Pegasus didn't say anything, but his expression seemed to say the same. Bandit gave them a pathetic look, and then stared at the ground, his shoulders slumped. "Oh." Pegasus rolled his eyes. "Fine! You can be Yami B's bodyguard. At least it'll keep ya partially out of my 'air." "Yaaay!" Bandit gave a very uncharacteristic happy squeal. Yami B and Pegasus stared at him, jaws gaping. "Er. I mean BEWAAARE!!!!!" The zombie quickly moaned. "Go buy yerself another bottle a' V8." Pegasus snapped, handing him a five dollar bill. "Okay." Bandit turned and quickly left the room. The other two stared after him for a moment. "Where the hell does he come from anyway?" Yami B turned to Pegasus. "America, ya dope." Pegasus pushed up his sunglasses matter-of- factly. "No, no. I mean, the zombie thing." "Ah, not really sure, to tell ya the truth. 'e just showed up one day, moanin' 'bout revenge an' all that. 'e goes away an' then comes back again. Damndest thing that." "And just where exactly is he hanging out, when he's not making pathetic attempts at visiting you with misery?" "No idea." "So he just walks in suddenly? No warnings, no nothing? None of your servants stop him?" "Nope." "Ah." Yami B was silent for a moment. "Well, I suppose he'll make an excellent bodyguard.' "Oh yes. If there's one thing 'e's got goin' for 'im, it's sheer brute force." "Not much else though.' "Not a damn thing."
* * *
"The first thing we 'ave to fix is your clothing." Pegasus commented, glancing at Yami B speculatively. "This 'ere will just never do." Bandit Keith was listening in the background sipping on some V8. He started to choke. "And just what do YOU know about what rappers wear?" He asked, laughing as he looked at Pegasus's usual red suit outfit. Pegasus sniffed loudly before studiously turning away from Keith. Pegasus placed one finger delicately on his own chin and the other on his waist. Keith snickered loudly, "Oh suuuuure.. and THAT isn't gay!" Pegasus ignored Keith and turned toward Croquet and started reading off a list of needed clothes. "We must have a hat, preferably a black ski cap, jeans extra extra large in dark blue, ripped in some places. A sports jersey that buttons down the front as well and an extra large white t-shirt. We also must have the most expensive pair of name brand shoes it is possible to buy! Lastly, we need a few pairs of boxers in plaids or patterned." Bandit Keith looked stunned and Yami B looked a little unconscious. Keith glanced down at the now empty V8 bottle. He shook it upside down and then looked at Pegasus pointedly. Pegasus sighed and handed Keith a few bills out of his pocket. Keith laughed happily and went skipping off to find a vending machine. Pegasus looked disgusted. "HA, an' 'e calls ME gay!!!!!" He turned back to Yami Bakura. Yami B glanced at Pegasus. "And how are any of those clothes going to fit me, exactly?" He asked uncertainly. "Oh, don't worry." Pegasus responded absentmindedly. "It's not supposed to." "Uh.okay." "Oh, and make sure the shoes are an odd color, Croquet." Pegasus added, waving off into the distance with one hand. Bandit Keith staggered back into the room. Pegasus groaned, rolling his eyes. "Oh, what is it n-" He cut off abruptly as Bandit gave a loud hiccup, wearing a ridiculous grin on his face. "This here V8 sure gots a punch to it, Peggie mah boy!" He exclaimed cheerfully, throwing an arm over Pegasus' shoulder and giving him a soft punch to the face with his other hand. "This is a stick-up.gimme first prize!" Bandit's eyes rolled back into his head and he passed out on the floor. Pegasus stood there for a moment, frozen. "What.the.'ELL?!" The billionaire finally cried. Croquet leaned down and seized the bottle of V8, which was leaking onto the carpet. He delicately sniffed the inside. "It appears to have been.'spiked', Master Pegasus. In fact, it smells rather like your private sake stash." "Grrr." Pegasus growled. "Will there NEVER be peace and qui-" He was interrupted once again by a snore from the drunken zombie. "But I dun wanna go to school, Mommy.Hic.all the other kids are mean to me." Bandit murmured, as rolled over on the floor and threw an arm over his head. "No, Mommy!! NOO!!" Pegasus gave an exasperated sigh, covering his eyes with one hand. "Stupid idiot! Well, I guess we 'ad better let 'im sleep it off." Pegasus motioned for Croquet and Yami B to follow him from the room. Behind them, Bandit Keith began shrieking hysterically. "Stay away from me!! Help!! HELP!!!" He woke up with a jerk and grabbed onto Pegasus' leg. "Please don't leave me!! The Reaper of the Cards is coming to get me!! PLEASE.!!" The zombie duelist sobbed noisily, and Pegasus' pant leg rapidly became soaking wet with his tears. Pegasus glared daggers down at Bandit, who smiled weakly as he slowly backed away. "Please don't hurt me." Croquet glanced around the room anxiously before hurridly exiting out into the hallway, presumably to carry out the clothing order, but more likely to get away from the walking hysterical undead. "Wait a minute, Croquet." Pegasus called after him, stopping him in his tracks. "Take Bandit Keith here to a spare bedroom to sleep off his lunacy, would you?" Before the others could stop him, Bandit grabbed his V8 and glugged the rest of it down. He passed out again almost immediately. "That'd have to be an awfully long nap." Croquet remarked dryly, dragging the sleeping, drunken corpse out of the room. "Make it so!" Pegasus ordered, and then giggled. "I've always wanted to say that!" Yami B stared after Bandit and Croquet for a while. "And he's ALWAYS like that?" The soon-to-be rapper finally demanded. "Yeah," Pegasus nodded sadly. "Really needs to dig that stick out of 'is ass, doesn't 'e?" "What?" Yami B blinked. "Oh, not Croquet! I meant Bandit." "Oh." Pegasus cocked his head to the side for a minute. "What, you mean the violent mood swings, frequent 'ysterics, and constant alcoholic binges? Pretty much." Pegasus' one good eye went rather shoujo-esque for a moment. "But 'e's AWFULLY cute when 'e's sleeping, eh?" "Uh." Yami B stuttered. "I.wouldn't know." He gave Pegasus the Fish Eye. Pegasus blinked, suddenly seeming to realize what he was saying. "Ewww.not that I sleep WITH 'im, mind you!" He quickly corrected. "Yeah, not HIM." Yami B snickered. "I AM NOT GAY!!" Pegasus cried angrily. Just then, Croquet passed by in the hallway. "Croquet, tell 'im I'm not gay!!" "Leave me out of this." Croquet held up his hands, a droplet of sweat appearing over his head. He quickly walked away again. Yami B barely contained his laughter behind his hands. "Oh, shut up." Pegasus glared at the ancient robber, seething. "You want my 'elp completing your 'oly mission or not?!" "Okay, okay." "Now," Pegasus continued. "we most definitely need some bikini-clad women! Who could we possibly call?" He wondered, unconsciously perhaps, his hand had wandered back to his chin. Abruptly Pegasus snapped his fingers and went to the rolofile sitting on his desk. He flipped through the file and pulled out three names with phone numbers. The first two he placed carefully on the desk, the third however, he handled very gently and looked at it for a while, his face growing red. Yami B looked puzzled and watched as Pegasus dialed the first two phone numbers. "'ello Téa? Yeah could use your help." Pegasus winced slightly at whatever Téa was saying on the other end. "Yes, I know I did that but in truth it isn't for me.. No it's for Yami B.. Yes, yes I know that as well but. We'll pay you and besides Yugi and I worked all that out. oh, thank you indeed! The job? Heh heh, well Yami B needs you to be in his rapper video.. Yeah, I know, it is strange but come on, please? You'll do it? Smahshing, I'll call you later. Cheerio." Pegasus hung up the phone and filled a glass with wine. He quickly drank it and filled another glass. "Now for the next call." He said sighing. "Mai, Pegasus 'ere and I 'ave a proposition for you." Pegasus turned bright red and laughed slightly. "Not that sort of proposition, of course! Yami B needs you in his debut rapper music video. Haha! Knew I could count on you! Thanks! Ciao!" Finally Pegasus turned to the last card and carefully dialed the number. "Serenity? Oh 'ello, so nice to speak to you again. 'ow was the operation? Great, look I have a favor. Yeah before I tell you, is your brother there? 'e isn't? Perfect, now then, Yami B needs you in his rap video.oh that is good of you! Yeah maybe sometime we could get together. Heh, yeah next Saturday would be great. Tea? Lovely. ok well bye then" Pegasus smiled slightly before hanging up the telephone receiver. "Now that is done maybe we should get to this 'music' part you spoke of." Yami B reminded Pegasus. "What? Oh that part isn't important at all. Let's go see how far Croquet has gotten with the clothing situation." Pegasus swept out of the room with a slightly giddy look on his face and a confused Yami B trailing along behind him.
Well welcome to this new wacky world of scary people? It's kinda based on Evil Super Villains isn't it? Oh well the weirder the funnier! Well TaTa Cheerio and review please!!!! If I get enough reviews we'll write chappie 2!!!! Won't that be fun? Tee hee hee!
"I am so bored." Yami Bakura groaned, slumping on the couch. "Figures Bakura takes off the Ring before he goes to school, leaving me stranded here!" The ancient tomb robber crossed his arms angrily. "Okay, so maybe I DID try to strangle him and set his hamster on fire, but still.." Yami Bakura's gaze suddenly fell upon a strange, black, rectangular object with many grey buttons (A.K.A, the T.V. remote). "Hmmm." Yami Bakura picked it up thoughtfully. "What is this strange contraption?" He experimentally pressed the button labeled 'Power'. The T.V. turned on with a click. However, the volume was turned down so low, it didn't quite reach the ancient spirit's ears, and thus he had no idea that the T.V. in front of him was on. He still stared at the remote. "Nothing happened. Well, what does this do?" He pressed the channel up button. The channels quickly switched upward, finally coming to a stop on BET. A rap music video was playing. Still unaware of anything, Yami Bakura shook the 'strange device' several times. Finally, he pressed the volume up button. Obviously, the sound became louder until.. "MY DAAAAAAAWWWWG!" The rapper on the screen blared. Yami Bakura screamed and dived behind the couch. Cautiously, he peered over the top. On the T.V. screen, the rapper stomped around, surrounded by bikini-clad women. The screen changed to show him riding in a bouncing car, wearing a fur coat and a pimp hat. Yami Bakura stared at the video unblinkingly, trying to make sense of the rapper's cryptic speech. His elbow unknowingly bumped the forgotten T.V. remote, turning the T.V. off suddenly. Yami Bakura gaped at the television's now blank screen, stunned. Suddenly, he leapt to his feet. " 'Tis a message from the Gods!' He cried. "The strange noise- picture box commands me to become like that strange being it has shown me!" He bowed towards the sun. "I hear your command and obey, Oh Gods." Yami Bakura straightened and frowned. "But." He puzzled, "How am I to become like the strange man on the screen? In truth, it sounds like sheer madness. but I must obey the gods!! The noise-picture box compels me! Who should I speak with to complete my appointed task?!?" Yami Bakura thought for a moment. "AHA!" He exclaimed, snapping his fingers, "There is only one other being on the Earth who would understand such a quest! I must go speak to one of the maddest people I know!"
* * * "So, what brings you to see me, Yami Bakura?" Pegasus questioned taking a sip of his wine. "I have received a message from the gods." Yami Bakura announced gravely. "Hmm. I see, and how exactly is it that I can." Pegasus began. Suddenly, the door to Pegasus's office burst open. Bandit Keith stood in the doorway. But, something was amiss. His clothes were ragged and torn, his skin had developed the sickly grey pallor of the not-so-recently deceased. "Pegasus." The apparition groaned, reaching a hand out towards the billionaire. "AAAAAAHHHH" Yami Bakura shrieked, diving under the table. He glanced up to see what kind of reaction Pegasus must be having to this murderous specter. To Yami Bakura's shock, Pegasus's expression was one of complete annoyance. "Oh, for crying out loud!!" He snapped, slamming his wine glass down hard onto the table, causing some wine to spill onto his hand. "How many times do I have to tell you to LEAVE ME ALONE!?!" "How can you expect me to leave you alone??" Bandit fumed. "You killed me!!" "It's MY fault you can't swim?!?!" Pegasus rolled his eyes. "Besides, you were the one pointing a gun to my head remember?!?" "Well. it's still your fault!" Bandit stuttered. He stretched his arms out to Pegasus and gave a ghostly moan. "And I'll haunt you forever." "Oh go away." Pegasus made a shooing motion with his hands. "Don't you even feel the SLIGHTEST bit of remorse for my death?!" Bandit exclaimed. "Er. not really no." Pegasus shrugged. "Now will you please leave me alone?" "I can't" Bandit stared at the floor. "And why not?" "Because I'm undead and I'm lonely!" Bandit sat heavily down into the chair next to Pegasus and began sobbing into his hands. "Now stop that!" Pegasus said indignantly. "Can't you see I'm having a meeting with Yami Bakura?!?!? I've got no time for you! Shoo! Shoo!" "Time out!!" Yami Bakura crawled out from under the table and leapt to his feet. "Am I MISSING something here?! Bandit's come back from the grave as a zombie and all you can do is be slightly ANNOYED?!?" "Well what am I supposed to do, fear him?" Pegasus rolled his eyes. "Take a good look at the stiff! He's PATHETIC!" "Oh blow it out your ear!" Bandit muttered. He produced a bottle filled with red liquid out of his pocket and took a swig. Yami Bakura paled. "I. Is that." He gulped, staring at the bottle. He read the bottle's label. ".V8???" A sweat drop appeared on the spirit's forehead. "That's tomato juice?" "Well duh!" Bandit growled. "What were you expecting? Blood?" "Considering you're an UNDEAD ZOMBIE." Pegasus remarked dryly, resting his chin in his hand. "Beware." Bandit moaned. Pegasus whacked him on the head with his wine glass. "Knock it off."
"Dammit." Bandit grumbled, rubbing his head. "How can I ever rest in peace, not being able to bring you pain?" "You're bringing me plenty of ANNOYANCE, which is very close." Pegasus sighed. "So why don't you run along to wherever the heck it is you're supposed to go and let ME rest in peace!?!?" "No way!" Bandit snarled. "Fine, be that way." Pegasus shook his head, irritated. "Now, be a good zombie and shut up while Yami Bakura and I talk. Now, Yami Bakura." He turned back to face the ancient thief, clearing his throat. "About this, er. message from the gods." "Oh, uh. yeah." Yami Bakura shook his head slightly, clearing it. He sat down once more. "You see the Gods visited upon me a very confusing vision. They showed to me a strange man, and, as far as I can understand. I think the Gods want me to become like him. I thought you might be able to help me." "Uh huh." Pegasus pulled a bottle of wine from a liquor cabinet in the corner, before sitting back down and beginning to fill a new glass, the previous one having been broken over Bandit's head. "Tell me about this man you saw." "It was all very bizarre." Yami Bakura scratched his head. "He spoke a strange language. It sounded like English, but there were words I've never heard before. And he spoke very fast, to music. His clothing was very odd as well. Sometimes it was very fancy with leather and fur. But most of the time he was wearing very loose, casual clothing. Like. um, sports jerseys and bandannas." Bandit snorted loudly, spitting out his tomato juice. "You," he coughed, "You. want to be a rapper?!?" The zombie duelist began to laugh. "Oh, that's too good!! YOU! A rapper!!" "You really want to become a rapper, Yami Bakura?" Pegasus eyed him incredulously, ignoring Bandit's hysterics. "If that is what that strange being is, then yes." Yami Bakura nodded fiercely. "It was commanded of me by the Gods. I must appease them." "Out of curiosity, what form did this, er, message from above take?" Pegasus questioned. "The Gods spoke to me through a black box with a face of glass that became filled with sounds and pictures as colorful and loud as if the events lay before me." Yami
Bakura breathed dramatically, his gaze upon the heavens. "And then it. fell silent." Pegasus fell flat on his face. "You mean. the T.V.?" He groaned, getting back to his feet. "The. Tee. Vee?" Yami Bakura blinked, confused. "Is this the mortal name for the noise and picture box?" "Um. yeah." "Oh brother." Bandit shook his head. "Look, Egyptian dude, your 'heavenly vision' was just some music video!" "Music video? What is this phrase?" Yami Bakura cocked his head to one side. Bandit buried his head in his hands. "Oh let him go." Pegasus laughed, waving a hand. "What is the harm if he wants to be a rap star?" "Another white rapper?" Bandit glared daggers at Pegasus. "Another Eminem?! Another Vanilla Ice?!" "Oh." Pegasus cringed. "Um good point. Well, with the right guide, Yami Bakura won't make quite as much of a mess. Um. I hope." Pegasus brightened. "I know! I'll be your manager!" "Manager?" "Yes, you'll provide the talent and I'll provide the brains." Pegasus replied. "You're short at both ends." Bandit snickered. Pegasus ground Bandit's head into the desk. "Of course, I get the customary 10%." Pegasus told Yami Bakura, ignoring the zombie's squeals of pain. "10% of what?" Yami Bakura frowned puzzled. "This is going to be the easiest money I have ever made." Pegasus rubbed his hands together gleefully. "Now let's see." He looked the spirit over appraisingly. "We'll have to work on your image. The clothes definitely must go. except the Millenium Ring, of course. All rappers have medallions, these days. And we need to give you a new name. hmmm." Pegasus appeared thoughtful for a moment. (Someone should have taken a picture and sold it to Ripley's.) Finally, he snapped his fingers. "I've got it! Yami B!" "WHAT!!?!" Yami Bakura exclaimed. "That's awful!" "It's catchy and it'll sell. You can suffer the personal sting for your heavenly mission, right?" "I suppose." Yami Bakura replied grudgingly. "Okay then, from now on you only go by Yami B." Pegasus said sternly. "What's your name?" "Yami B." "Good man." Pegasus patted his 'client' on the back. "Now then." Pegasus pulled a pair of mirrored sunglasses out of nowhere, and donned them, as well as a British accent. "Time to 'ave my people call some other people and do lunch!" "Where did that accent come from?" Bandit asked, horrified. "I've always 'ad it, you simpleton! I've just been suppressin' it for the sake a' blendin' in." Pegasus snapped. "Blending in?" Bandit ran his eyes over Pegasus incredulously. "Red suit, funny lace shirt, really long hair, golden thing jammed into your eye." "Okay, so it was just on account a' my accent's kinda' ridiculous soundin'." Pegasus admitted. "And it makes you even gayer seeming than before." Yami B added. "Yes, and it ." Pegasus's eyes bugged out "Say what!?! I am not gay!! What on earth makes you think so!?!" Bandit Keith and Yami B gave him narrow looks. "Er. alright, so I do act a bit on the queer side. but I'm not! Really!" "Uh huh." Yami B raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Hey, wait a second!" Bandit exclaimed worriedly. "If you two are going to go running off on some musical odyssey, what's going to happen to me?!" "Um. I think the real question here is, should I care?" Yami B said coldly. Pegasus didn't say anything, but his expression seemed to say the same. Bandit gave them a pathetic look, and then stared at the ground, his shoulders slumped. "Oh." Pegasus rolled his eyes. "Fine! You can be Yami B's bodyguard. At least it'll keep ya partially out of my 'air." "Yaaay!" Bandit gave a very uncharacteristic happy squeal. Yami B and Pegasus stared at him, jaws gaping. "Er. I mean BEWAAARE!!!!!" The zombie quickly moaned. "Go buy yerself another bottle a' V8." Pegasus snapped, handing him a five dollar bill. "Okay." Bandit turned and quickly left the room. The other two stared after him for a moment. "Where the hell does he come from anyway?" Yami B turned to Pegasus. "America, ya dope." Pegasus pushed up his sunglasses matter-of- factly. "No, no. I mean, the zombie thing." "Ah, not really sure, to tell ya the truth. 'e just showed up one day, moanin' 'bout revenge an' all that. 'e goes away an' then comes back again. Damndest thing that." "And just where exactly is he hanging out, when he's not making pathetic attempts at visiting you with misery?" "No idea." "So he just walks in suddenly? No warnings, no nothing? None of your servants stop him?" "Nope." "Ah." Yami B was silent for a moment. "Well, I suppose he'll make an excellent bodyguard.' "Oh yes. If there's one thing 'e's got goin' for 'im, it's sheer brute force." "Not much else though.' "Not a damn thing."
* * *
"The first thing we 'ave to fix is your clothing." Pegasus commented, glancing at Yami B speculatively. "This 'ere will just never do." Bandit Keith was listening in the background sipping on some V8. He started to choke. "And just what do YOU know about what rappers wear?" He asked, laughing as he looked at Pegasus's usual red suit outfit. Pegasus sniffed loudly before studiously turning away from Keith. Pegasus placed one finger delicately on his own chin and the other on his waist. Keith snickered loudly, "Oh suuuuure.. and THAT isn't gay!" Pegasus ignored Keith and turned toward Croquet and started reading off a list of needed clothes. "We must have a hat, preferably a black ski cap, jeans extra extra large in dark blue, ripped in some places. A sports jersey that buttons down the front as well and an extra large white t-shirt. We also must have the most expensive pair of name brand shoes it is possible to buy! Lastly, we need a few pairs of boxers in plaids or patterned." Bandit Keith looked stunned and Yami B looked a little unconscious. Keith glanced down at the now empty V8 bottle. He shook it upside down and then looked at Pegasus pointedly. Pegasus sighed and handed Keith a few bills out of his pocket. Keith laughed happily and went skipping off to find a vending machine. Pegasus looked disgusted. "HA, an' 'e calls ME gay!!!!!" He turned back to Yami Bakura. Yami B glanced at Pegasus. "And how are any of those clothes going to fit me, exactly?" He asked uncertainly. "Oh, don't worry." Pegasus responded absentmindedly. "It's not supposed to." "Uh.okay." "Oh, and make sure the shoes are an odd color, Croquet." Pegasus added, waving off into the distance with one hand. Bandit Keith staggered back into the room. Pegasus groaned, rolling his eyes. "Oh, what is it n-" He cut off abruptly as Bandit gave a loud hiccup, wearing a ridiculous grin on his face. "This here V8 sure gots a punch to it, Peggie mah boy!" He exclaimed cheerfully, throwing an arm over Pegasus' shoulder and giving him a soft punch to the face with his other hand. "This is a stick-up.gimme first prize!" Bandit's eyes rolled back into his head and he passed out on the floor. Pegasus stood there for a moment, frozen. "What.the.'ELL?!" The billionaire finally cried. Croquet leaned down and seized the bottle of V8, which was leaking onto the carpet. He delicately sniffed the inside. "It appears to have been.'spiked', Master Pegasus. In fact, it smells rather like your private sake stash." "Grrr." Pegasus growled. "Will there NEVER be peace and qui-" He was interrupted once again by a snore from the drunken zombie. "But I dun wanna go to school, Mommy.Hic.all the other kids are mean to me." Bandit murmured, as rolled over on the floor and threw an arm over his head. "No, Mommy!! NOO!!" Pegasus gave an exasperated sigh, covering his eyes with one hand. "Stupid idiot! Well, I guess we 'ad better let 'im sleep it off." Pegasus motioned for Croquet and Yami B to follow him from the room. Behind them, Bandit Keith began shrieking hysterically. "Stay away from me!! Help!! HELP!!!" He woke up with a jerk and grabbed onto Pegasus' leg. "Please don't leave me!! The Reaper of the Cards is coming to get me!! PLEASE.!!" The zombie duelist sobbed noisily, and Pegasus' pant leg rapidly became soaking wet with his tears. Pegasus glared daggers down at Bandit, who smiled weakly as he slowly backed away. "Please don't hurt me." Croquet glanced around the room anxiously before hurridly exiting out into the hallway, presumably to carry out the clothing order, but more likely to get away from the walking hysterical undead. "Wait a minute, Croquet." Pegasus called after him, stopping him in his tracks. "Take Bandit Keith here to a spare bedroom to sleep off his lunacy, would you?" Before the others could stop him, Bandit grabbed his V8 and glugged the rest of it down. He passed out again almost immediately. "That'd have to be an awfully long nap." Croquet remarked dryly, dragging the sleeping, drunken corpse out of the room. "Make it so!" Pegasus ordered, and then giggled. "I've always wanted to say that!" Yami B stared after Bandit and Croquet for a while. "And he's ALWAYS like that?" The soon-to-be rapper finally demanded. "Yeah," Pegasus nodded sadly. "Really needs to dig that stick out of 'is ass, doesn't 'e?" "What?" Yami B blinked. "Oh, not Croquet! I meant Bandit." "Oh." Pegasus cocked his head to the side for a minute. "What, you mean the violent mood swings, frequent 'ysterics, and constant alcoholic binges? Pretty much." Pegasus' one good eye went rather shoujo-esque for a moment. "But 'e's AWFULLY cute when 'e's sleeping, eh?" "Uh." Yami B stuttered. "I.wouldn't know." He gave Pegasus the Fish Eye. Pegasus blinked, suddenly seeming to realize what he was saying. "Ewww.not that I sleep WITH 'im, mind you!" He quickly corrected. "Yeah, not HIM." Yami B snickered. "I AM NOT GAY!!" Pegasus cried angrily. Just then, Croquet passed by in the hallway. "Croquet, tell 'im I'm not gay!!" "Leave me out of this." Croquet held up his hands, a droplet of sweat appearing over his head. He quickly walked away again. Yami B barely contained his laughter behind his hands. "Oh, shut up." Pegasus glared at the ancient robber, seething. "You want my 'elp completing your 'oly mission or not?!" "Okay, okay." "Now," Pegasus continued. "we most definitely need some bikini-clad women! Who could we possibly call?" He wondered, unconsciously perhaps, his hand had wandered back to his chin. Abruptly Pegasus snapped his fingers and went to the rolofile sitting on his desk. He flipped through the file and pulled out three names with phone numbers. The first two he placed carefully on the desk, the third however, he handled very gently and looked at it for a while, his face growing red. Yami B looked puzzled and watched as Pegasus dialed the first two phone numbers. "'ello Téa? Yeah could use your help." Pegasus winced slightly at whatever Téa was saying on the other end. "Yes, I know I did that but in truth it isn't for me.. No it's for Yami B.. Yes, yes I know that as well but. We'll pay you and besides Yugi and I worked all that out. oh, thank you indeed! The job? Heh heh, well Yami B needs you to be in his rapper video.. Yeah, I know, it is strange but come on, please? You'll do it? Smahshing, I'll call you later. Cheerio." Pegasus hung up the phone and filled a glass with wine. He quickly drank it and filled another glass. "Now for the next call." He said sighing. "Mai, Pegasus 'ere and I 'ave a proposition for you." Pegasus turned bright red and laughed slightly. "Not that sort of proposition, of course! Yami B needs you in his debut rapper music video. Haha! Knew I could count on you! Thanks! Ciao!" Finally Pegasus turned to the last card and carefully dialed the number. "Serenity? Oh 'ello, so nice to speak to you again. 'ow was the operation? Great, look I have a favor. Yeah before I tell you, is your brother there? 'e isn't? Perfect, now then, Yami B needs you in his rap video.oh that is good of you! Yeah maybe sometime we could get together. Heh, yeah next Saturday would be great. Tea? Lovely. ok well bye then" Pegasus smiled slightly before hanging up the telephone receiver. "Now that is done maybe we should get to this 'music' part you spoke of." Yami B reminded Pegasus. "What? Oh that part isn't important at all. Let's go see how far Croquet has gotten with the clothing situation." Pegasus swept out of the room with a slightly giddy look on his face and a confused Yami B trailing along behind him.
Well welcome to this new wacky world of scary people? It's kinda based on Evil Super Villains isn't it? Oh well the weirder the funnier! Well TaTa Cheerio and review please!!!! If I get enough reviews we'll write chappie 2!!!! Won't that be fun? Tee hee hee!