Sev rounded the corner to the Potions classroom.
"No, I didn't" The greasy haired git complained.
(A/N Yes you did, so shut up)
Anyway, after reluctantly (on pain of death) rounding the corner to the Potions classroom, he ran into Arthur Weasley, a prefect a couple of years older than him.
"Shit" he said, for he and Arthur Weasley were not the best of friends.
"What are you doing here, Snape?" The prefect asked suspiciously.
"Walking." Answered the Slytherin. Untruthfully, for he was in fact running for the sole purpose of escaping Cas, who's new hobby was Sev-Killing.
"Well, why didn't you say that earlier?" He asked the author.
(A/N . MUAHAHAHAHA YOU LIVE IN MY WORLD DO YOU HEAR ME? MY WORLD!!!!)
"Ooookay, who forgot to take her medication this morning?" Sev asked, backing away from the ceiling. Arthur looked at him as though he would rather have been sorted in to Gryffinclaw than stay another millisecond with the psycho standing next to him.
"That's GRYFFINDOR, birdbrain. The prats you are making me room with." Sev snarled.
(A/N Ah, yes. My wonderful plot in a story I haven't updated since my brain was stolen.)
"Yeah, great, whatever. These reviewers have paid to see mousetraps and me being tortured, not the ramblings of a deranged lunatic." Complained the miscreant. He turbaned.
(A/N Turbaned? What the-? AH! I don't have control of this story anymore, the sugar does.)
.the author apologises and corrects her mistake to: turned and saw Arthur Weasely running as fast as he could in the opposite direction.
"Well, that soon sorted him out." He muttered darkly, as he skipped up to Gryffindor tower, absentmindedly trying to subdue a mousetrap that was trying to subdue him.
"By the way, asshole, arsehole, or however you spell it. I don't do skipping."
(A/N Ya, ya, shut it, Kartoffelkoff.)
"How dare you call me Potato Head in German?"
(A/N Oh, I dare, Merde-Tete)
"And Shit Head in French?"
(A/N Look where you're going, you cloth eared git.)
Sev was so busy holding a furious argument with the ceiling, that he didn't notice when he ran right into the Fat Lady and near cracked his head open.
"Ouch." He said
(A/N No, duh)
"Sorry, dear. Ouch is not the password." said the Fat Lady unnecessarily.
"You mean because you wanted at least one crap joke to put in this story to make it a humor fic, huh?" Sev accused the author.
(A/N *blushes* ingrate)
"Anyway, the passwords Kill me Kwick." Sev told the Fat Lady.
"You mean Kiss me Kwick, dear?" said the painting.
"I know what I mean."
The painting swung over and Sev walked in to the Gryffindor Tower and was immediately glomped by.
"Quirrell!" The Slytherin shouted in alarm. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought you had brain damage and were at St. Mungo's!"
(A/N The author wishes to take this note not to insult Severus Snape, but to say that she disregarded what she said earlier and brought Quirrell back, just because he's such a cool character.)
"Yay." Said Sev Sarcastically, for her and Quirrell didn't really get along so great.
(A/N Like it or hate it)
"Hate it more than like it." Complained Snake.
(A/N .must.control.sugar.rush.)
"Hiya, Severus, are ya pleased to see me?" asked the 'at-the-moment-hyper' Quirrell.
"Not really, no." Turning to the author, the slimy freak asked "What happened to his st-st-stutter? And what the heck was that for?"
(A/N His stutter vanished back into the Heavens of 'Who cares' world (Trust me, by the end of this fic you WILL care) and I gave you a stammer for no particular reason at all, apart from to get the sadistic pleasure from it.)
"Twisted, aren't you?"
(A/N As a matter of fact, yes.)
"Hi, Sev." The werewolf looked up from about a ton of work in the corner. Sev ddin't bother to respond. Pettigrew smiled and waved for no good reason, apart from the fact that he was happy.
Black wasn't in any fit state to greet the Slytherin as he walked into the dorms, as Potter was sitting on top of him. Peter rushed to help subdue the highly peeved black haired menace,, but appeared to be of no help, as he was kicked in a rather unmentionable place.
"Give it back, Sirius. Now, or Peter goes out of the window and I'll kick you again." James snarled. Peter squeaked and ran off to hide under the bed. Lupin didn't bother to look up from his work. Maybe this sort of thing happened too often. Dan Quirrell apologised for his roommates' behaviour and tried to wrest them apart.
"What the fuck is going on?" Sev asked in a kind of pissed off voice. He was so busy being angry with the immature Gryffindors that he only noticed that there was a mousetrap behind him when it bit him on the arse.
(A/N Can mousetraps bite? Oh well.)
His cry of pain and humiliation was load enough to disturb the entire Hogwarts. It was so loud that it actually caused a lull in the fighting. Not a very big one, mind. Lupin looked up, shocked, and rushed over to Sev's aid.
"Are you ok?" He asked the now pissed - to - heck Slytherin.
"What, apart from the fact that a supposedly Brain dead boy has come back, all of my friends are dead, I am in hiding to save myself being murdered by a psychopath bitch, I am rooming in a mentally unstable dorm, my worst enemies look about to kill each other then move on to me and I have just been bitten on the arse by a mutant mousetrap from hell? Yeah, I'm ok." Sev growled.
"I'm sorry I asked." Remus told the pessimist.
There was a knock at the door. James hastily got off Sirius, Sirius hastily got up, Peter came out from under the bed, Remus ran back and continued with his work and Sev hurried and behind the door. Receiving apprehensive glances from his roommates, Siriuswalked slowly over to the door and opened it.
The six boys yelled in horror, and then the world went black as they blissfully fainted away.
(A/N Aren't I wicked? You'll have to wait until next chapter before you can see who ~~ or what ~~ is at the door. I promise you, though, it is NOT McGonagall or Dumbledore in a bikini, thank god!!!)
"No, I didn't" The greasy haired git complained.
(A/N Yes you did, so shut up)
Anyway, after reluctantly (on pain of death) rounding the corner to the Potions classroom, he ran into Arthur Weasley, a prefect a couple of years older than him.
"Shit" he said, for he and Arthur Weasley were not the best of friends.
"What are you doing here, Snape?" The prefect asked suspiciously.
"Walking." Answered the Slytherin. Untruthfully, for he was in fact running for the sole purpose of escaping Cas, who's new hobby was Sev-Killing.
"Well, why didn't you say that earlier?" He asked the author.
(A/N . MUAHAHAHAHA YOU LIVE IN MY WORLD DO YOU HEAR ME? MY WORLD!!!!)
"Ooookay, who forgot to take her medication this morning?" Sev asked, backing away from the ceiling. Arthur looked at him as though he would rather have been sorted in to Gryffinclaw than stay another millisecond with the psycho standing next to him.
"That's GRYFFINDOR, birdbrain. The prats you are making me room with." Sev snarled.
(A/N Ah, yes. My wonderful plot in a story I haven't updated since my brain was stolen.)
"Yeah, great, whatever. These reviewers have paid to see mousetraps and me being tortured, not the ramblings of a deranged lunatic." Complained the miscreant. He turbaned.
(A/N Turbaned? What the-? AH! I don't have control of this story anymore, the sugar does.)
.the author apologises and corrects her mistake to: turned and saw Arthur Weasely running as fast as he could in the opposite direction.
"Well, that soon sorted him out." He muttered darkly, as he skipped up to Gryffindor tower, absentmindedly trying to subdue a mousetrap that was trying to subdue him.
"By the way, asshole, arsehole, or however you spell it. I don't do skipping."
(A/N Ya, ya, shut it, Kartoffelkoff.)
"How dare you call me Potato Head in German?"
(A/N Oh, I dare, Merde-Tete)
"And Shit Head in French?"
(A/N Look where you're going, you cloth eared git.)
Sev was so busy holding a furious argument with the ceiling, that he didn't notice when he ran right into the Fat Lady and near cracked his head open.
"Ouch." He said
(A/N No, duh)
"Sorry, dear. Ouch is not the password." said the Fat Lady unnecessarily.
"You mean because you wanted at least one crap joke to put in this story to make it a humor fic, huh?" Sev accused the author.
(A/N *blushes* ingrate)
"Anyway, the passwords Kill me Kwick." Sev told the Fat Lady.
"You mean Kiss me Kwick, dear?" said the painting.
"I know what I mean."
The painting swung over and Sev walked in to the Gryffindor Tower and was immediately glomped by.
"Quirrell!" The Slytherin shouted in alarm. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought you had brain damage and were at St. Mungo's!"
(A/N The author wishes to take this note not to insult Severus Snape, but to say that she disregarded what she said earlier and brought Quirrell back, just because he's such a cool character.)
"Yay." Said Sev Sarcastically, for her and Quirrell didn't really get along so great.
(A/N Like it or hate it)
"Hate it more than like it." Complained Snake.
(A/N .must.control.sugar.rush.)
"Hiya, Severus, are ya pleased to see me?" asked the 'at-the-moment-hyper' Quirrell.
"Not really, no." Turning to the author, the slimy freak asked "What happened to his st-st-stutter? And what the heck was that for?"
(A/N His stutter vanished back into the Heavens of 'Who cares' world (Trust me, by the end of this fic you WILL care) and I gave you a stammer for no particular reason at all, apart from to get the sadistic pleasure from it.)
"Twisted, aren't you?"
(A/N As a matter of fact, yes.)
"Hi, Sev." The werewolf looked up from about a ton of work in the corner. Sev ddin't bother to respond. Pettigrew smiled and waved for no good reason, apart from the fact that he was happy.
Black wasn't in any fit state to greet the Slytherin as he walked into the dorms, as Potter was sitting on top of him. Peter rushed to help subdue the highly peeved black haired menace,, but appeared to be of no help, as he was kicked in a rather unmentionable place.
"Give it back, Sirius. Now, or Peter goes out of the window and I'll kick you again." James snarled. Peter squeaked and ran off to hide under the bed. Lupin didn't bother to look up from his work. Maybe this sort of thing happened too often. Dan Quirrell apologised for his roommates' behaviour and tried to wrest them apart.
"What the fuck is going on?" Sev asked in a kind of pissed off voice. He was so busy being angry with the immature Gryffindors that he only noticed that there was a mousetrap behind him when it bit him on the arse.
(A/N Can mousetraps bite? Oh well.)
His cry of pain and humiliation was load enough to disturb the entire Hogwarts. It was so loud that it actually caused a lull in the fighting. Not a very big one, mind. Lupin looked up, shocked, and rushed over to Sev's aid.
"Are you ok?" He asked the now pissed - to - heck Slytherin.
"What, apart from the fact that a supposedly Brain dead boy has come back, all of my friends are dead, I am in hiding to save myself being murdered by a psychopath bitch, I am rooming in a mentally unstable dorm, my worst enemies look about to kill each other then move on to me and I have just been bitten on the arse by a mutant mousetrap from hell? Yeah, I'm ok." Sev growled.
"I'm sorry I asked." Remus told the pessimist.
There was a knock at the door. James hastily got off Sirius, Sirius hastily got up, Peter came out from under the bed, Remus ran back and continued with his work and Sev hurried and behind the door. Receiving apprehensive glances from his roommates, Siriuswalked slowly over to the door and opened it.
The six boys yelled in horror, and then the world went black as they blissfully fainted away.
(A/N Aren't I wicked? You'll have to wait until next chapter before you can see who ~~ or what ~~ is at the door. I promise you, though, it is NOT McGonagall or Dumbledore in a bikini, thank god!!!)