"Dumbledore?"
What Remus saw looked incredibly like the old geezer with his 3 foot long beard, but it may not have been. It was in fact a small elf like creature with big googly eyes and a pillowcase. Sev recognised it immediately, being good friends with the Malfoys.
"DOBBY???"
Then, Sev rolled his eyes at the ceiling.
"Dobby hasn't been born yet, Prickhead."
(A/N ... He's insulted me enough now. I'm going to have to bring the twins in.)
"NOT THE TWINS!!!"
(A/N Yes the twins)
By the way, Dobby or whatever was Dumbledore, I was just trying to throw you readers off balance.
Sirius looked at Sev, who was shaking in a heap on the floor and sobbing, and nudged the asshole with his foot.
"Piss off"
"What is up with you, Sev?"
"Piss off"
"..."
At that moment two people stepped out of the darkness in that dark dark room in the dark dark cellar where the skeletons live, but that's another story. One had grey eyes and light brown hair and was a chaser, the other had black eyes, black hair and was a beater.
"Justine?" The Marauders shouted at the first one, the grey eyed one.
"Rene?" Sev shouted at the other.
"YOU SLUTS GO FIND YOUR OWN BOYFRIENDS!!!" Lily yelled, then blushed as James said:
"But she's going out with Remus."
These are the twins.
"No shit" said Sev, fending off Rene who was hugging him madly, surprising for an evil Death Eater Slytherin.
(A/N Watch your language or I'll send Artemisa in as well!)
"I'LL BE GOOD!!!"
James turned to Dumbledore.
"Why did you kidnap us?" he asked the kindly Professor, but Dumbledore was not himself.
"To hand you over to the almighty Lord Dark Helmet, alias RICK MORANIS!!!" Dumbledore held up one of those Jerry Springer signs that says applause as the Spaceball leader walked in, breathing through his overlarge helmet and getting stuck in the door.
"BUGGER! NOT AGAIN!" Was the cry he gave out.
"Lord Helmet," Dumbledore continued, pointing at the Darth Vader spoof, "Is the king of the mousetraps and organiser of TAMEO. He started it to calm his nerves, lower his blood pressure and prevent himself from having a nervous breakdown after his ship was destroyed by Lone Starr."
"By the way," Justine told them in between harassing Sev and dishing out horrible punishment to the latter, "Lord Helmet is a hidden joke from Spaceballs the movie, so see it if you want to understand this chapter."
(A/N I'm sorry, I couldn't resist)
"You will all be taken into custody." Commanded the Almighty Lord Helmet, "And will serve there until the mousetraps in my armies are ready to convert you or brainwash you. They are a bit tied up at the moment, having brainwashed Dumbledore and all of the Slytherin third-years."
Dumbledore just gave them a blank look, not unlike Gilded-arse Lock-me-up- in-a-padded-cell-Hart. Dan Quirrell gave a whimper, a hint of his old stutter returning.
"A-a-and what will happen once we've been b-b-brainwashed or...c- converted?" He cried. Lord Helmet raised an eyebrow.
"You should know about brainwashing; you've been brainwashed. But if you're converted, like Dumbledore, you will be completely under my control and will serve in the TAMEO armies until your deaths. TAKE THEM AWAY!!! Gee, I've always wanted to say that!"
As Dumbledore lead them all, the Marauders, Sev, Lily, Cas, Hermione and the twins, down the corridor, Sev raised an eyebrow at the ceiling.
"You've been very quiet this chapter."
(A/N Putting all my energy in the twins)
"Yeah, right."
(A/N Ok. I wanted to add to the tension, ok?"
"Is that all?"
(A/N And I was planning your fates)
"Oh, thanks a lot. You haven't told me everything, have you?"
(A/N FINE!!! I WORSHIP LORD HELMET, OK??? YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS TORTURE, SEVERUS SNAPE, I WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU PAY!!!)
And while the greasy-haired-git laughed quietly to himself, the authoress hid in a dark corner, plotting revenge.
What Remus saw looked incredibly like the old geezer with his 3 foot long beard, but it may not have been. It was in fact a small elf like creature with big googly eyes and a pillowcase. Sev recognised it immediately, being good friends with the Malfoys.
"DOBBY???"
Then, Sev rolled his eyes at the ceiling.
"Dobby hasn't been born yet, Prickhead."
(A/N ... He's insulted me enough now. I'm going to have to bring the twins in.)
"NOT THE TWINS!!!"
(A/N Yes the twins)
By the way, Dobby or whatever was Dumbledore, I was just trying to throw you readers off balance.
Sirius looked at Sev, who was shaking in a heap on the floor and sobbing, and nudged the asshole with his foot.
"Piss off"
"What is up with you, Sev?"
"Piss off"
"..."
At that moment two people stepped out of the darkness in that dark dark room in the dark dark cellar where the skeletons live, but that's another story. One had grey eyes and light brown hair and was a chaser, the other had black eyes, black hair and was a beater.
"Justine?" The Marauders shouted at the first one, the grey eyed one.
"Rene?" Sev shouted at the other.
"YOU SLUTS GO FIND YOUR OWN BOYFRIENDS!!!" Lily yelled, then blushed as James said:
"But she's going out with Remus."
These are the twins.
"No shit" said Sev, fending off Rene who was hugging him madly, surprising for an evil Death Eater Slytherin.
(A/N Watch your language or I'll send Artemisa in as well!)
"I'LL BE GOOD!!!"
James turned to Dumbledore.
"Why did you kidnap us?" he asked the kindly Professor, but Dumbledore was not himself.
"To hand you over to the almighty Lord Dark Helmet, alias RICK MORANIS!!!" Dumbledore held up one of those Jerry Springer signs that says applause as the Spaceball leader walked in, breathing through his overlarge helmet and getting stuck in the door.
"BUGGER! NOT AGAIN!" Was the cry he gave out.
"Lord Helmet," Dumbledore continued, pointing at the Darth Vader spoof, "Is the king of the mousetraps and organiser of TAMEO. He started it to calm his nerves, lower his blood pressure and prevent himself from having a nervous breakdown after his ship was destroyed by Lone Starr."
"By the way," Justine told them in between harassing Sev and dishing out horrible punishment to the latter, "Lord Helmet is a hidden joke from Spaceballs the movie, so see it if you want to understand this chapter."
(A/N I'm sorry, I couldn't resist)
"You will all be taken into custody." Commanded the Almighty Lord Helmet, "And will serve there until the mousetraps in my armies are ready to convert you or brainwash you. They are a bit tied up at the moment, having brainwashed Dumbledore and all of the Slytherin third-years."
Dumbledore just gave them a blank look, not unlike Gilded-arse Lock-me-up- in-a-padded-cell-Hart. Dan Quirrell gave a whimper, a hint of his old stutter returning.
"A-a-and what will happen once we've been b-b-brainwashed or...c- converted?" He cried. Lord Helmet raised an eyebrow.
"You should know about brainwashing; you've been brainwashed. But if you're converted, like Dumbledore, you will be completely under my control and will serve in the TAMEO armies until your deaths. TAKE THEM AWAY!!! Gee, I've always wanted to say that!"
As Dumbledore lead them all, the Marauders, Sev, Lily, Cas, Hermione and the twins, down the corridor, Sev raised an eyebrow at the ceiling.
"You've been very quiet this chapter."
(A/N Putting all my energy in the twins)
"Yeah, right."
(A/N Ok. I wanted to add to the tension, ok?"
"Is that all?"
(A/N And I was planning your fates)
"Oh, thanks a lot. You haven't told me everything, have you?"
(A/N FINE!!! I WORSHIP LORD HELMET, OK??? YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS TORTURE, SEVERUS SNAPE, I WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU PAY!!!)
And while the greasy-haired-git laughed quietly to himself, the authoress hid in a dark corner, plotting revenge.