In the little cellar place where everyone from Hogwarts had been stuffed,
the atmosphere was headed towards two things: Escape and food!
"What would I do for a Bolognese?" Moaned Sirius, massaging his stomach.
"I dunno, what would you do for a Bolognese?" Asked James.
"Not funny."
Basically, for three days, the Almighty Lord Dark Helmet had forgotten their existence and they were starving to death. This was the revenge the author had planned because Sev pissed her of in a 'dramatic' chapter.
"Thanks" Sev said, being sarky.
(A/N Mninng! Mninng! Mninng! HEE HEE HEE!!!)
"..."
I think Sev was a little scared by my hallucinatory comments back there. Well, anyhow, they were discussing their favorite foods, and Justine somehow got onto Ice Cream Soda, which was the name of one of the many people she stalked.
(A/N That's not right. She's going out with Remus!)
"She's your character. She is your inner soul." Sev responded.
(A/N Shut your trap. What are you, some sort of rebel psychiatrist?)
"No, I'm a student in a wreck of school that can't even withstand Mousetraps."
(A/N Chew yer gum!)
"Got none"
(A/N Screw yer Mom!)
"Don't be sick"
"I want Ice Cream Soda!" whined Peter like the whiny thing he is. Hang on, the arsewit whined, dinne? Ohohoh, Petee, ya crabsmeat! You know, spellcheck doesn't recognise any of these words I'm putting, but lets not go there.
"I still want Ice Cream Soda" Peter said whingingly after about a minute had passed and he got no response.
Rene raised an eyebrow
"Ice Cream Soda is 29, gay and a paedophile who wants Justine to be his love slave. Actually, Justine disappears every Friday evening with the excuse 'Going for a Soda' and comes back with hair messed up and top button undone." She stated, matter-of-factly.
"That's sick!" Hermione retorted.
"Justine, you're my girlfriend!" Remus moaned. Justine gave him the 'I'm- sorry-he-kidnapped-me' look.
"Ok... I don't want Ice Cream Soda" Peter blanched.
"Justine does"
"By the way," Justine told the readers, "Ice Cream Soda doesn't exist, so don't start asking homosexual child-abusers down your street if they know the Harry Potter characters, ok?"
"Ice Cream Soda doesn't exist?" asked Sirius, horror-struck. "But I had a glass the other day!
"The man, you fatass, not the Ice Cream Soda!"
"I'm confused." Complained Quirrell. "Which is the paedophile and which is the Soda?"
"Being confused isn't hard for you, is it Quirrell?" sneered Sev.
(A/N Ay!)
"Oh, shut up!"
(A/N That was Quirrell pissing Sev, not Sev pissing me or vice - versa.)
"There isn't really a difference, is there?"
(A/N Oh, shut up!)
"I rest my case!"
(A/N Who needs you with yer smart fat ass and yer small small brain?)
"Correct that mistake now."
(A/N Sorry. My bad. Your ass is waaaaay tight.)
"Better."
(A/N THAT DON'T MEAN I FANCY YA, ARSEHEAD!!!)
Sev raised an eyebrow at his cellamtes.
"She's got asses on the brain"
"I always knew donkeys were bad for you" said Quirrell offhandedly. At that moment, my fiancé Lord Dark Helmet strode imperiously in and raised his Helmet, condemming the group to not starve and saying food was along in a minute.
"Oh joy!" said Sev sarcastically. "You sure took your time."
"Aux Gourmet." Said Lord Helmet, ignoring the bastard. "Baked Bean Fricassee" He tossed a single baked bean into the cellar and left.
Everyone was fighting over who got the baked bean, and the poor bean was discarded on the side while the fight took place. Only Quirrell noticed when the Mousetrap guard stole the bean and ate it.
(A/N Mousetraps can eat??? Oh well...)
"SODDING THING!!!" Quirrell yelled, breaking out from the fight. "BASTARD! SLIMY SCUM!!!"
"I DIDN'T DO NOTHING YET!!!" Complained Sev, automatically thinking Quirrell was referring to him.
(A/N No such luck)
"NOT YOU!!! THE DAMN MOUSETRAP ATE OUR BEAN!!!"
And the chapter finishes with a conspiracy to squish the evil mousetrap that ate the sacred baked bean.
(A/N heh heh heh...)
"What would I do for a Bolognese?" Moaned Sirius, massaging his stomach.
"I dunno, what would you do for a Bolognese?" Asked James.
"Not funny."
Basically, for three days, the Almighty Lord Dark Helmet had forgotten their existence and they were starving to death. This was the revenge the author had planned because Sev pissed her of in a 'dramatic' chapter.
"Thanks" Sev said, being sarky.
(A/N Mninng! Mninng! Mninng! HEE HEE HEE!!!)
"..."
I think Sev was a little scared by my hallucinatory comments back there. Well, anyhow, they were discussing their favorite foods, and Justine somehow got onto Ice Cream Soda, which was the name of one of the many people she stalked.
(A/N That's not right. She's going out with Remus!)
"She's your character. She is your inner soul." Sev responded.
(A/N Shut your trap. What are you, some sort of rebel psychiatrist?)
"No, I'm a student in a wreck of school that can't even withstand Mousetraps."
(A/N Chew yer gum!)
"Got none"
(A/N Screw yer Mom!)
"Don't be sick"
"I want Ice Cream Soda!" whined Peter like the whiny thing he is. Hang on, the arsewit whined, dinne? Ohohoh, Petee, ya crabsmeat! You know, spellcheck doesn't recognise any of these words I'm putting, but lets not go there.
"I still want Ice Cream Soda" Peter said whingingly after about a minute had passed and he got no response.
Rene raised an eyebrow
"Ice Cream Soda is 29, gay and a paedophile who wants Justine to be his love slave. Actually, Justine disappears every Friday evening with the excuse 'Going for a Soda' and comes back with hair messed up and top button undone." She stated, matter-of-factly.
"That's sick!" Hermione retorted.
"Justine, you're my girlfriend!" Remus moaned. Justine gave him the 'I'm- sorry-he-kidnapped-me' look.
"Ok... I don't want Ice Cream Soda" Peter blanched.
"Justine does"
"By the way," Justine told the readers, "Ice Cream Soda doesn't exist, so don't start asking homosexual child-abusers down your street if they know the Harry Potter characters, ok?"
"Ice Cream Soda doesn't exist?" asked Sirius, horror-struck. "But I had a glass the other day!
"The man, you fatass, not the Ice Cream Soda!"
"I'm confused." Complained Quirrell. "Which is the paedophile and which is the Soda?"
"Being confused isn't hard for you, is it Quirrell?" sneered Sev.
(A/N Ay!)
"Oh, shut up!"
(A/N That was Quirrell pissing Sev, not Sev pissing me or vice - versa.)
"There isn't really a difference, is there?"
(A/N Oh, shut up!)
"I rest my case!"
(A/N Who needs you with yer smart fat ass and yer small small brain?)
"Correct that mistake now."
(A/N Sorry. My bad. Your ass is waaaaay tight.)
"Better."
(A/N THAT DON'T MEAN I FANCY YA, ARSEHEAD!!!)
Sev raised an eyebrow at his cellamtes.
"She's got asses on the brain"
"I always knew donkeys were bad for you" said Quirrell offhandedly. At that moment, my fiancé Lord Dark Helmet strode imperiously in and raised his Helmet, condemming the group to not starve and saying food was along in a minute.
"Oh joy!" said Sev sarcastically. "You sure took your time."
"Aux Gourmet." Said Lord Helmet, ignoring the bastard. "Baked Bean Fricassee" He tossed a single baked bean into the cellar and left.
Everyone was fighting over who got the baked bean, and the poor bean was discarded on the side while the fight took place. Only Quirrell noticed when the Mousetrap guard stole the bean and ate it.
(A/N Mousetraps can eat??? Oh well...)
"SODDING THING!!!" Quirrell yelled, breaking out from the fight. "BASTARD! SLIMY SCUM!!!"
"I DIDN'T DO NOTHING YET!!!" Complained Sev, automatically thinking Quirrell was referring to him.
(A/N No such luck)
"NOT YOU!!! THE DAMN MOUSETRAP ATE OUR BEAN!!!"
And the chapter finishes with a conspiracy to squish the evil mousetrap that ate the sacred baked bean.
(A/N heh heh heh...)