"Attention Griffindors!" yelled Profesor McGonagal, who had recently walked into the room looking very disheveled, her hair a mess. Everyone in the common room got quiet, and even Hermione and Ginny stopped fighting. "Slytherin House is presenting the muggle musical "West Side Story" in the Great Hall in ten minutes. If you will all please head down there."
The Griffindors headed towards the door, except for Harry and Ginny.
"Aren't you coming?" asked Ron.
"Um... I think we're gonna stay and shag again." Harry whispered as not to provoke Hermione again. "We'll meet ya there."
"Ya know, if I wasn't feeling really goofy I'd beat the snot out of you. But oh well," said Ron walking away.
~***~
All the houses filed into the Great Hall, which had now been turned into a very makeshift auditorium Ron was about to sit down when he felt Hermione tap him on the shoulder.
"Wanna go shag?" she asked.
"No. First of all, you're bald and that's just ugly. Second, I thought you wanted Harry."
"Fair enough. First of all," she paused, pointed her wand at her head, mumbled some spell and her hair came back, only it wasn't hair, it was grass.
"You're a chia pet!!"
"Damnit!"
"Ya know, it beats bald though. But anyway, we still can't shag... you love Harry."
"So? He's with Ginny. You're my second choice."
"I guess that's ok. Harry was my first choice too." and with that Ron and Hemione snuck off for some fun.
They were getting started, when Ron had some 'technical difficulties.' "I think it's the hair. I have allergies to grass"
"I'm suuuuuure that's it" said Hermione. "But whatever the cause, I can fix this." She pulled out her want and pointed it at Ron's crotch. "Wingarnum Leviosa"
~***~
Harry and Ginny finished quickly and hurried to the great hall. They ran into Draco Malfoy.
"You go on Ginny, I'll handle him," said Harry, as he watched the redheaded girl run off.
He turned his attention to Malfoy. "What do you want?"
"I want you to be my lover!"
"How many times must I tell you this Draco, I'm not gay!"
"Not even bi?"
"Nope."
"But what about all those fan fics?"
"They're just STORIES. Haven't you ever heard of homoeroticism?"
"Come on Potter. Please? I only want a quickie. I've gotta be on stage playing Maria in 10 minutes anyway."
"NO."
"Damnit!"
"Why don't you try Neville? He could be gay."
"Nah. He's not my type. Besides, he's off shagging Crabbe. Or is that Goyle. I get them confused." He paused. "Hmmmmm... maybe I can see if Do..." Malfoy broke off as if he had said something very inappropriate.
"huh?"
"Nothing."
"You were gonna say Dobby, weren't you?"
"Yeah. So?" replied Malfoy defensively. "Lots of people use their house elves as sex slaves."
"Woah!"
"It wasn't even all that good. Dobby can be kinky. He knew that dad would get mad if he found out he was doing that sort of stuff with me, so I always had to punish him." A small smile spread across Malfoy's face.
"Way too much information!" said Harry, before running off.
~***~
Should I continue? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review!!!
The Griffindors headed towards the door, except for Harry and Ginny.
"Aren't you coming?" asked Ron.
"Um... I think we're gonna stay and shag again." Harry whispered as not to provoke Hermione again. "We'll meet ya there."
"Ya know, if I wasn't feeling really goofy I'd beat the snot out of you. But oh well," said Ron walking away.
~***~
All the houses filed into the Great Hall, which had now been turned into a very makeshift auditorium Ron was about to sit down when he felt Hermione tap him on the shoulder.
"Wanna go shag?" she asked.
"No. First of all, you're bald and that's just ugly. Second, I thought you wanted Harry."
"Fair enough. First of all," she paused, pointed her wand at her head, mumbled some spell and her hair came back, only it wasn't hair, it was grass.
"You're a chia pet!!"
"Damnit!"
"Ya know, it beats bald though. But anyway, we still can't shag... you love Harry."
"So? He's with Ginny. You're my second choice."
"I guess that's ok. Harry was my first choice too." and with that Ron and Hemione snuck off for some fun.
They were getting started, when Ron had some 'technical difficulties.' "I think it's the hair. I have allergies to grass"
"I'm suuuuuure that's it" said Hermione. "But whatever the cause, I can fix this." She pulled out her want and pointed it at Ron's crotch. "Wingarnum Leviosa"
~***~
Harry and Ginny finished quickly and hurried to the great hall. They ran into Draco Malfoy.
"You go on Ginny, I'll handle him," said Harry, as he watched the redheaded girl run off.
He turned his attention to Malfoy. "What do you want?"
"I want you to be my lover!"
"How many times must I tell you this Draco, I'm not gay!"
"Not even bi?"
"Nope."
"But what about all those fan fics?"
"They're just STORIES. Haven't you ever heard of homoeroticism?"
"Come on Potter. Please? I only want a quickie. I've gotta be on stage playing Maria in 10 minutes anyway."
"NO."
"Damnit!"
"Why don't you try Neville? He could be gay."
"Nah. He's not my type. Besides, he's off shagging Crabbe. Or is that Goyle. I get them confused." He paused. "Hmmmmm... maybe I can see if Do..." Malfoy broke off as if he had said something very inappropriate.
"huh?"
"Nothing."
"You were gonna say Dobby, weren't you?"
"Yeah. So?" replied Malfoy defensively. "Lots of people use their house elves as sex slaves."
"Woah!"
"It wasn't even all that good. Dobby can be kinky. He knew that dad would get mad if he found out he was doing that sort of stuff with me, so I always had to punish him." A small smile spread across Malfoy's face.
"Way too much information!" said Harry, before running off.
~***~
Should I continue? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review!!!