A hush fell over the crowd in the Great Hall as the makeshift curtain was lifted. Standing in the spotlight was Professor Snape, dressed as a woman. He began to sing, but the laughter in the crowd was too loud and no one heard him. People in the crowd began to laugh so hard they began to faint.
"Shut up!!!! All of you insolent children!!!" shouted Snape. The crowd grew silent. "Thank you! You know, we have spent the last two hours putting this production together, the least you could do is shut the fuck up!"
He began to sing again, and like clockwork the laughter started.
"That's it!" said the professor, as he pointed his wand to a large group of Hufflepuffs who were rolling on the floor in laughter. "Adevera Kadavea!" and with a green flash of light he killed 10 Hufflepuffs.
"God I hate you kids! I hate this job! I AM A DEATHEATER!!! I've been fighting this internal conflict for too long. The only thing that kept me from going over to the dark side was my love of theater!! Its like therapy, but you little bastards went over the line today!! You people can't appreciate good theater! DIE ALL OF YOU!!!!"
Fortunatly he was subdued by professor McGonalgal. Unfortunately, someone cast a "mud charm" and the two did some mud wrestling before Snape knocked unconscious.
"Take him to Azkaban!" ordered Dumbledore and with that Snape was gone. The Great Hall filled with cheers.
~***~
As everyone celebrated Snape's demise, Harry began to feel a burning in his penis. 'Damn' he thought. 'I know Ginny sleeps around, but I couldn't have gotten an STD that fast!'
But then he began to hear snake like voices. He knew no one else could hear this, he was the only one who was a parsletounge. Then he felt a huge erection and felt as though he was being pulled by his penis. It was an odd sensation, but he followed where his penis seemed to be leading him.
Suddenly the sensation stopped and he was standing right in front of Draco Malfoy.
"I told you I'm not gay!"
Then Draco began to speak what Harry thought was parseltounge, and Harry began to get an erection.
"I thought only I could speak parseltongue!"
"You idiot. I'm not speaking parseltongue, I'm speaking trouser snake."
Harry wanted to stay and shag Malfoy's brains out, but he knew better. It was only the 'trouser snake' talking. So he ran away. "I'm NOT GAY!!!"
~***~
Ron and Hermione were lying on the floor of the transfigurations classroom in the afterglow of what Ron thought was amazing sex.
"Was it good for you?" he asked
"eh" she replied rolling over.
"EH?!" yelled Ron, freaking out.
"Well honestly Ron.... It wasn't that big. I've definitely had better."
Ron was silent.
"I'm sorry. I guess you have some pretty big shoes to fill."
"huh?"
"I thought everyone knew. I've been sleeping with professor Snape. He's really goo..." she was interrupted by the sound of Ron's head hitting the floor. He had passed out cold.
~***~
I'm probably gonna end this in the next chapter but I need ideas. Anyway, as always, please review! Thanks so much!
"Shut up!!!! All of you insolent children!!!" shouted Snape. The crowd grew silent. "Thank you! You know, we have spent the last two hours putting this production together, the least you could do is shut the fuck up!"
He began to sing again, and like clockwork the laughter started.
"That's it!" said the professor, as he pointed his wand to a large group of Hufflepuffs who were rolling on the floor in laughter. "Adevera Kadavea!" and with a green flash of light he killed 10 Hufflepuffs.
"God I hate you kids! I hate this job! I AM A DEATHEATER!!! I've been fighting this internal conflict for too long. The only thing that kept me from going over to the dark side was my love of theater!! Its like therapy, but you little bastards went over the line today!! You people can't appreciate good theater! DIE ALL OF YOU!!!!"
Fortunatly he was subdued by professor McGonalgal. Unfortunately, someone cast a "mud charm" and the two did some mud wrestling before Snape knocked unconscious.
"Take him to Azkaban!" ordered Dumbledore and with that Snape was gone. The Great Hall filled with cheers.
~***~
As everyone celebrated Snape's demise, Harry began to feel a burning in his penis. 'Damn' he thought. 'I know Ginny sleeps around, but I couldn't have gotten an STD that fast!'
But then he began to hear snake like voices. He knew no one else could hear this, he was the only one who was a parsletounge. Then he felt a huge erection and felt as though he was being pulled by his penis. It was an odd sensation, but he followed where his penis seemed to be leading him.
Suddenly the sensation stopped and he was standing right in front of Draco Malfoy.
"I told you I'm not gay!"
Then Draco began to speak what Harry thought was parseltounge, and Harry began to get an erection.
"I thought only I could speak parseltongue!"
"You idiot. I'm not speaking parseltongue, I'm speaking trouser snake."
Harry wanted to stay and shag Malfoy's brains out, but he knew better. It was only the 'trouser snake' talking. So he ran away. "I'm NOT GAY!!!"
~***~
Ron and Hermione were lying on the floor of the transfigurations classroom in the afterglow of what Ron thought was amazing sex.
"Was it good for you?" he asked
"eh" she replied rolling over.
"EH?!" yelled Ron, freaking out.
"Well honestly Ron.... It wasn't that big. I've definitely had better."
Ron was silent.
"I'm sorry. I guess you have some pretty big shoes to fill."
"huh?"
"I thought everyone knew. I've been sleeping with professor Snape. He's really goo..." she was interrupted by the sound of Ron's head hitting the floor. He had passed out cold.
~***~
I'm probably gonna end this in the next chapter but I need ideas. Anyway, as always, please review! Thanks so much!