A/N Part 2 of Riff's Journals. This one's from 13-15 it was supposed to be a bit longer but *ahem* some people's prodding made it be cut short. It's still lengthy compared to other ones that I've done, but anyways, I don't own Riff or Mags, so don't sue me! Please! But do enjoy it!
December 18
I am definitely going to write in this journal more, now that I have more things going on in my life. Between school, and trying to keep the house in one piece, its starting to take its toll on me. I hate it, I despise it, and now I'm old enough to actually get a job. And we need it. Mom has been bringing in very little, when she does bring in anything. When she's even here, that is. It's almost as if Genta and I live alone, that's how often she's here. She's more of a guest than a mother. I've started looking for a job. The thing I'm worried about is who's going to watch Genta while I'm away? She can hardly take care of herself, she's so innocent and naïve. If I'm not there to protect her, I don't know what could happen.
December 29
I got a job. The only problem is it's as a servant at the castle. But it pays, and we need all the money we can get. We can barely buy the bare bones of food. Genta and I have been living off of pasta for a week now. Mom's only stopped by once in the past month. We have hardly any clothes. I really need to take the job. I don't care at this point what it is. Its money. I start tomorrow. I have to report every day after school, and weekends. It's a lot, but if it gets money, I don't care. Which means starting tomorrow, I'll have hardly any time left. But it's worth it…….
April 15
Haven't had time to write, but out of habit, I'll say something. Genta's now 9. she's getting old so fast. She's more mature than anyone in her class too. I suppose she has to be. But yet, yet, she's still so innocent, so young at heart, compared to me. I'm the one that has to be strong, and tough. I have to protect her. I have to make sure that she's safe. And I want her to stay innocent, I don't want her to have to be like me. I want her to be able to live her life, and live it out, like any normal child should.
September 9
Haven't had much time to write, I've been working my arse off at the castle. I pretty much do nothing but work. I'll wake up, make breakfast, go to school, go to work, come home, make dinner, and collapse. I hate it. I don't even have time to do my homework. I hardly even see Genta. Only during dinner. That's it. Mom's been gone for the past month, no one's seen any sign of her. it doesn't matter anyway. No one would care if mom was dead or not. After all, we're just the lowest link in the food chain, the ones that get picked off. At least I don't have to be Frank's personal servant.
October 30
My 14th birthday. Doesn't feel like it. It seems like not that long ago that I was first writing in a journal. I was flipping through my old one today. I can't belive some of things that I wrote. I was so young, so naïve. Like blaming Magenta for what happened. It isn't her fault, it's moms, its dads. They're the ones that left. They're the reasons behind all our misery. I hate them. I really hate dad. If I ever saw him again, I'd probably knock him out. If I had the chance, I'd kill him, for all that he put us through. And then I'd move on to mom, for all that she put us through.
January 3
Frank's servant just quit. I hope I don't have to be his replacement. I heard what Frank makes his servants do, and I don't care for that, thank you very much. But yet, Frank is so perfect. I can see why no one resists him. he's beautiful, to say the least. But he's so arrogant, and bossy, it more than drowns out his looks. Besides, he'd never even look at me twice. No one does. Magenta does, but she's always been there for me. She always has been. And now that shes getting older, she's getting more and more beautiful.
April 15
I'm Frank's new servant, and I haven't had any time whatsoever to write until now. Genta's 10th birthday. I can't help but write Genta, it just fits her so. Childish, like she should be, not how she is. She tries so hard to act grown up, and be mature. And she succeeds at it. She's aged before her time. And each day she gets more and more beautiful. On the nights when she's scared and lonely, and climbs into bed with me, it's hard to resist. She's so sophisticated and mature during the day, but at night, when she's trying to sleep, how young she is is shown. She has nightmares so often, and most nights she winds up curled next to me, as if I could protect her from the world. I try hard to do that. I try my hardest to protect her from everything.
July 25
I managed to sneak in a spare moment to write this down. Frank's mad at me because I'm not as willing as all his past servants. He thinks that because he's a higher rank than me that he can get away with whatever he wished. I don't think so. I hate him, for thinking that he can get away with whatever he wished.
October 30
My 15th birthday, Magenta was the only one who got me something. Even if it was something small. She's so thoughtful, and kind. And beautiful. It's so hard to resist her. but she's still a child, still young. I came close the other night to giving in. I had had too much to drink, and kissed her. yet she didn't resist. I'm becoming almost as bad as mom, at least I'm still here, unlike mom. Mom's been gone for six months. I think once she learned that I had a job, she gave up trying to support us. And we're doing just as well on our own as we did when she was here. But I still miss her. just like I still miss dad, but at the same time, I hate them both.
March 8
Frank did it this time. He forced me to do what he wanted. He forced me to submit. Now I can see why his other servants quit. But I can't stand to quit. We need the money too much. Yet as much as I hated being forced, it was wonderful at the same time. Frank is just as great there as he is any other way. He is so perfect. So beautiful. Almost as beautiful as Magenta. Magenta has been looking at me differently ever since I kissed her. I don't know what it is, but it's something. I know that I shouldn't look at her the way I do, but I can't help it. She's so perfect.
April 15
Magenta's birthday. I recognize the looks she's been giving me. The same one that I have been giving her. it's now a familiar look. But yet, I can't help but hesistate to do anything about it. I love her, not only as much as a sister, but more. I miss the old days, when I was young, and everything was black and white. Now, now there's shades of gray. Now, there's a middle ground. And I can't help but wonder how far I can stretch that middle ground. I'm nearing the end of this journal, so this will be the last entry. It's funny, the last journal wasn't that much longer, and it spanned 8 years. This one was slightly shorter, and only spanned 2 years. And I write more neatly now. but since I am on the last page, this is it.