April 15
Magenta is 24. I'm beginning to regret what I did that night. It's starting to sink in. I have DeLordy constantly shoving it in my face, hissing snide remarks. He cannot prove it, of course. But it doesn't stop him from rubbing in the fact that he knows that it is me. I'm starting to miss Frank in a way too. Even his beatings were at least a constant. Now, the only constant I have is Magenta. Magenta the unfaithful. She is starting to stray, I can see it. The long hours that I spend at work, directing the troops are starting to take their toll on our relationship.
June 3
DeLordy has yet to give up. He refuses to stop rubbing in the fact that I collapsed, and gave in, gave up, and killed Frank. He thinks that he is stronger than I. He isn't. Or, perhaps, he is. I'm questioning my sanity. Some claim I already lost it. I haven't yet. I'm coming close though. He has made me regret what I did to Frank. I hate him. I utterly despise him. But he's much harder to get rid of than Frank. He'd be missed. And it's a lot harder to stage the death of someone with the queen so nearby.
July 31
The last straw. I knew Magenta, my Magenta, the only thing that I can truly call my own, was an adulteress, but this time she went too far. How could she even think to even speak to that waste of space? That-thing, he doesn't even deserve to be called a man. How could she do this to me? How could she have even thought of going with him? And she denies it as well! This deserves a punishment much worse than what she usually gets for straying. I don't know what yet, but something. I hate them. I hate them both. I used to be able to put up her straying ways. But this was the last straw. She will pay for this.
October 30
I hate myself. I cannot belive what I have done. All the joy that I had felt when I had killed Frank has turned into sorrow. All because of the blood that now stains my hands. But yet, I feel happy because of it. I despise myself, hate what I have done, yet it feels good. Just the knowledge that she will never stray from me ever again feels wonderful. It's as if a weight has been lifted off of me. I no longer have to worry if I am enough for her. she looks so peaceful. I am afraid to disturb her. she looks almost like she is asleep. I am afraid if I move her, she'll wake up. But I must do something with her. the castle guards get very suspicious quickly.
January 8
It's been just over a year since we've returned. And yet, it feels as if we've never left. It's funny, really, how I still say "we". She's gone almost 3 months now. It doesn't feel like it though. She rests in a coffin in my bedroom. It is a good thing that I took that job as a general. I have private quarters, and hardly anyone dares to venture near my room. She rests, looking so perfect, almost like a porcelain doll. She is mine. My doll. My plaything. My perfect, beautiful sister, is finally mine alone. She is the only thing I could ever call mine, but she was never purely mine until now.
March 20
I am being sent to Earth again. All because of the lie that I had fabricated. I had to go and tell the queen that Frank had remained on Earth. Now she wants me to try and find him. If I can, I will kill her soon. Her and DeLordy both. DeLordy constantly rubs salt into the open wounds. He constantly brings up Frank, and then, just to really get me, he'll mention Magenta. It is times like those when I see red. All I want is to kill him right then and there, barehanded. I could if I wanted to as well. He is nothing but a walking tub of lard.
May 20
I have returned from my mission to earth. DeLordy is gone, thank god. But I have another royal prat to put up with. But I no longer have to put up with everything that DeLordy says. After what happened, I don't quite know what to feel. I wish I could return Transexual to how it should be, and completely remove the royal family entirely, but I cannot do it alone. It's amazing all that has happened this past year. One year, and so much has happened. In not even two, I have killed 6 people. And I feel hardly any remorse. The only person I really regret killing is Magenta. But it had to be done. I had to stop her from straying ever again.
June 30
This has become my last tie to sanity. Everyone avoids me wherever I go. The troops shy away from me. Many of the citizens have heard what happened. I have no clue who told, but I suspect it was one of DeLordy's old friends. But the word has gotten out that I'm the one who is suspected for killing Frank. And even worse, killing my own sister. My very own flesh and blood. But it doesn't matter any more. I have no reason left to remain sane. Any effort I put towards taking down the royal family would just be in vain. Ever since Sonny came into the picture, he has pretty much replaced his father in everything. He even tried to get his father's loyal manservant to serve him in a way that most of the other castle staff wouldn't think of. But I hate him more than I hated his father. I almost loved his father. Frank was one of the few constants I had. And I envied all of his other conquests, because he actually saw them. He saw me as just a way of deriving pleasure. And I killed him because of that. I killed one of the few people that I have ever loved because they used me. And I killed the other because she was unfaithful.
October 30
I have dug up my old journals. There were a few entries that were so close to the truth despite being so childish. I had written that I had hated Frank, and hated Magenta. And it was too true. I hate them both. And yet, I love them both. I love Magenta more than anything, both in death, and when she was alive. I still love her. she is mine, all mine. She is perfect. I used the studies from when I built Rocky to help preserve her. she isn't alive, but yet, she isn't dead. At least not to me. To me, she is just as alive as always. And she is mine. All mine. She is so beautiful, lying in her coffin. I relined the inside. The black was beginning to look too morbid. Now she rests peacefully on scarlet silk. It's hard to belive that I am 30. I feel so old. So frail. So weak. Everything I had is gone.
April 15
Magenta's 26th birthday. No matter what they try to convince me she's alive, at least slightly. She may not be breathing, her heart may not beat, but yet, she is alive. She is alive. And I still love her. I love her so much it hurts. I hate what I did. but it stopped her from straying ever again. If I hadn't done that, who knows who could've? Who knows whose arms she'd wind up in when all was said and done? The mere thought of her settling with someone other than myself is enough to bring me to the verge. But I know now that she is completely mine. She is so beautiful. She is my beautiful doll. And I love her.
September 23
It would have been Frank's birthday. And it was around this time that he got the inspiration to start on Rocky. I am remember the oddest things. I have hardly ever left my chambers. I have been having my meals delivered to my room. When I do wander out, I hear them talking. They seem to be taking pity on me. They seem to think that I have completely snapped. I am still perfectly sane. I miss the three of them. Even Columbia. She was at least someone to talk to, a familiar, friendly face. And the castle was always so gloomy. She and Magenta always could bring an echo of a smile to my face. I don't remember the last time I actually smiled. I tried it, it felt so odd after having no reason to smile in so long. I don't even have Magenta to make me happy.
October 30
I have done the one thing I thought I had sworn I would never do. I have fallen upon the bottle. I hate myself. I have become just like that wastrel of our father. But I no longer have anyone relying on me. At least alcohol is numbing. It erases the pain. all the pain that I feel. Now, now even when I look at Magenta, I can't help but feel pain. just knowing that she can never kiss me back, that she can never feel what I do to her, and that she can never respond.. it is painful, loving someone who cannot love you back. I cannot look down at my hands without seeing her blood staining them. I cannot look at my laser without reflecting back on the 5 people that I have killed with it. It is all to painful. Now I see why half of the murderers in prisons go crazy. They keep reflecting on what happened. Perhaps I have snapped. I do not know.
April 15
It was today that we found him. this and a note was all he had on him. We figured it was a good note to put this last entry in for him. We found him washed up on the shore with this, and the note was tucked into it. There was a bottle of something or other next to him, but we couldn't tell if that was from him, or just garbage. It is today that this journal is officially closed. The note is following this entry.
~Jay and Sadie
To all who read this,
I cannot take it anymore. I am sick of this. I am sick of having to face the pain. at least now I can be with my loving sister, for all eternity. It would be her 27th birthday. Happy Birthday Magenta.
~~~
A/N: Sorry if you didn't like the end, but it was supposed to be Riff gone completely insane. I do hope you enjoyed all of these! BTW, I didn't make any cash off of them, even if I did, it'd go towards buying more Rocky junk anyway!