Chapter Two: No, not the pineapple

A couple hours after the debacle when Disney decided to but into the production of Final Fantasy X, the director returns from his telephone conversation with the main office. He looks around the set taking in all that is going on. Tidus and Yuna are still floating in the water "rehearsing" the scene. Lulu and Wakka are discussing the finer points on the coloration of lobsters. He also notices that Rikku and Auron are talking about their favorite movies involving small animals.

Rikku: I love to watch The Lion King whenever I can. Simba is so cute!

Auron: I remember watching Bambi when it first came out in theaters. I always cry when Bambi's mom gets shot.

Rikku: You watched Bambi when it first came out, but isn't that movie like fifty years old.

Auron: Yeah, but remember I'm much older than you are.

The director leaves this conversation alone, as it serves no purpose whatsoever. He looks towards the back of the set to see that Kimarhi is bent over emptying his lunch onto the stage. Who knew that he was allergic to shellfish.

Director: Okay people, gather around. We're about to make a second attempt at this scene.

He looks over to the lagoon only to see that the couple is still trying to perfect their actions for the scene.

Director: (extremely upset) Wakka, throw your blitzball at those two.

Wakka: Okay, ya.

He throws his ball into the water, nailing Tidus in the head. This causes him to open his mouth, which in turn lets the water flow directly into his mouth. Tidus is soon choking and trying to surface. With much difficulty, Yuna manages to help her partner out of the water and onto dry land.

Tidus: Ooh, look at all the pretty birdies. (passes out)

Director: Great! Now he's just a little more stupid.

Auron: (to Lulu) I don't think that's physically possible.

Lulu: (answering back) That does have a ring of truth to it.

Director: Someone wake Tidus up, please.

Kimarhi: (taking the cue) Director say wake up. (pokes Tidus with his spear) Now!

Tidus: Uh, where am I?

Director: As I was saying before, we're about to make another attempt at filming this tender moment. (looks at Tidus) Does everyone remember what they're supposed to do?

Tidus: Yeah, I've been practicing.

Rikku: (to herself) I know, for the last two hours.

Director: Okay, then take you places. Action!

The scene takes place with nothing going wrong. Yuna starts to cry on cue. Tidus swims towards her and takes her into his arms, gently kissing her tender lips. Soon they are drifting beneath the water.

Director: Cue the music!

An unknown starts to play over the speakers, filling the set with its addicting melody. By some odd circumstance, the cameras are focused on the bottom of the lagoon and the lyrics begin.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Rikku: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

Absorbent and yellow and porous is he?

Wakka: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, ya!

If nautical nonsense is something you wish...

Kimarhi: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!

Auron: I refuse to take part in this pointless endeavor.

Rikku: Fine then. SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

Lulu: (shaking her head) Do I really have to?

Wakka: Yes.

Lulu: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

Rikku: Come on, Auron.

Auron: No.

Kimarhi: Fine, Kimarhi do it then. SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

Wakka: Auron, do it for crying out loud, ya.

Lulu: I did it, so you have to as well.

Auron: Very well. SPONGEBOOOOOOOOOOOOOB SQUAREPAAAAAAAAAAAAANTS!

Director: Buddha, give me patience.

The music stops as the camera zoom in on a pineapple and a yellow sponge dressed shorts, a dress shirt and tie walks out. He laughs for no apparent reason.

Director: That's it. (leaves the stage pulling out his hair)

Rikku: That was fun, now wasn't it?

Wakka: Ya, it was.

Lulu: Whose idea was it to sabotage it like that?

Auron: Mine.

Everybody else sweatdrops and stares at Sir Auron.

Auron: What, I thought it'd be funny.

Needless to say, the group doesn't realize that Tidus and Yuna are still in the water making out, again.

To be continued…

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A/N: I'm sorry it had to be done, it was unavoidable. And to add a bit of a kicker, Auron was the culprit. Who knew he loved that show, oro? Oh well, the beginning was kinda slow with all the talking, but I felt I needed to add it in. I apologize to any Tidus fans out there for all the bashing he's receiving in this fic, but it's all in good fun. Anyway, review and tell me what you think. All comments are looked at and catalogued in my tiny, insane mind. Until the next time, farewell. ^_^ (August 30, 2002)

A/N 2: The next chapter will revolve around an old song originally done by Frank Sinatra. But the whole idea will be based on the ending credits to an anime program that uses said song. Be prepared. *laughs maniacally*