Chapter Five: Help! I need somebody! Help!

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When last we left, the director had calmly left the studio. Well calmer than usual anyway. Seymour and his friends had just ruined the scene with their rendition of "In the Navy," while everyone else was having a love-in. Could this be a hint as to what will transpire in this chapter? Yeah, ever heard of John and Yoko?

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Tidus and Yuna are finally getting out of the lagoon's water pool, looking all the more prune-like than the last time. They walk over to Seymour and tap him on the shoulder.

Tidus: Where the director go, aren't we going to try to get this scene filmed today?

Syemour: (staring at Tidus' wrinkly face) Uh, yeah, sure. Tell me, just how long have you been in the water?

Tidus: (counting on his fingers) I don't know, a couple of days now I guess.

Seymour: Have you ever left it at anytime?

Yuna: Only to get stage directions and to listen to the director rambling, why do you ask?

Seymour: (to Kimarhi) Kimarhi, get somebody to empty that pool and to disinfect it, please.

Kimarhi: (looks disgusted) Kimarhi do that. (runs off to get the janitors and sanitation crews)

Seymour: Okay, while they're busy doing that, why don't you two go take a shower or something.

Tidus and Yuna: Okay, sure. (both walk off)

Seymour: (to their retreating forms) And don't forget to wash everywhere. (shudders)

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An hour passes as the tank is emptied and doused with gallons upon gallons of high strength disinfectant. While this is going on, Seymour turns on the television to watch "General Hospital." As Roy is about ready to pull the trigger to the gun, an urgent newsbreak interrupts the ending.

Seymour: Firk ding blast it, who does he shoot?

Newscaster: An urgent bulletin just in. At the set where the game Final Fantasy X is being produced, it appears to be that a man is about ready to jump off the top of a building. Let's go to our reporter on the scene. Gene, how did this happen?

Gene: The way that it's been stated is the man is the director for Final Fantasy X, and he's had trouble filming one of the scenes. Apparently, some of his actors have been causing the scene to take longer than scheduled by changing the songs being played in the background.

Newscaster: What do you mean, Gene? What songs have been played?

Gene: Well, Paula, everything from Disney's "Under the Sea," which was not he cast's fault, to the Village People, with a shot of Spongebob Squarepants. It seems that this has all been to much for the man, and he wants out. Oh, no.

Paula: What, what happened?

Gene: He jumped.

Seymour: Crap in a hat!

Gene: But it appears that he landed in a pool of water that was going to dumped soon.

Seymour: Double crap in a hat!

Paula: Well at least he's safe and out of harm. We'll now return you to "General Hosptial."

Seymour: All right, here we go.

Television: …will all appear in the next episode. Stay tuned for it tomorrow.

Seymour: Triple crap in a hat!

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Tidus and Yuna soon arrive on the set with towels draped over their heads.

Seymour: Feeling better?

Tidus: Yeah, that hot water did the trick. Warmed me right up.

Yuna: Yep, but why were all those ambulances and police cars outside. Did something happen?

Seymour: Um, yeah, someone tried to jump off the building, but he's down now.

Tidus: Where's the director, then? Did he go with them?

Seymour: Yeah, you could say that. And until he gets back, I'm the man, um, Guado in charge. So get in your places.

Tidus and Yuna proceed to immerse themselves in the pool wondering why they even bothered to dry themselves off.

Seymour: Okay, ready. Action!

The pair begins to go through the actions that they've done so many times before. Soon they are floating beneath the tranquil surface of the lagoon.

Seymour: Kimarhi, did you place the item in the water.

Kimarhi: Kimarhi did as Seymour say, but Kimarhi want to know why.

Seymour: You'll see.

The camera focuses on the pair in the water, following them through every twist and turn that they do. But little do they know that there is a small hint of yellow shadowing them as well.

Seymour: Cue the music!

The music proceeds to pour from the speakers, flooding the set with it catchy melody and lyrics.


In the town where I was born
Lived a man who sailed to sea
And he told us of his life
In the land of submarines

So we sailed up to the sun
Till we found the sea of green
And we lived beneath the waves
In our yellow submarine

We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

And our friends are all on board
Many more of them live next door
And the band begins to play

We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

As we live a life of ease
Everyone of us has all we need
Sky of blue and sea of green
In our yellow submarine.

We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine
We all live in our yellow submarine,
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

The music fades away as the lyrics are completed, but Seymour seems to be a bit too anxious .

Seymour: Fire the torpedoes! (hits a small button on his chair)

The small yellow submarine fires two torpedoes at the couple. Yuna notices them coming and pulls Tidus in front of her to block them. Both of missiles hit the young man and explode, sending the blond-haired man out of the pool.

Seymour: That's for killing me and ruining my wedding.

Kimarhi: Was that necessary?

Seymour: No, not really, but it certainly was fun. Okay, that's it for today. Everybody can go home. (looks around at all the couples) Or you can stay here. Whatever floats you boat. Let's go guys, let's go plan what we'll do tomorrow.

Luzzu, Isaaru, Seymour, Kimarhi, and Barthello walk towards the exit so they can go plan the devastation for the next day. As Seymour is about to leave, he turns around.

Seymour: And can somebody get a medic for Tidus. Thanks, see ya. (turns off the light and closes the door)

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A/N: Stupid me, I made a mistake in the last notes. "Yellow Submarine" didn't appear on Magical Mystery Tour, that was "I Am the Walrus." YS was on the Yellow Submarine album. *slaps self in head* And yes I do watch General Hospital, and I noticed an odd similarity between Seymour and Brenda. No matter how many times they die, they just keep coming back. Anyhoo, I hope that you enjoyed this and I apologize for the length of time between postings. I needed to catch up on my sleep, sleep good. So until the next time, farewell and hopefully everyone can get enough sleep. ^_^ (September 17, 2002)