Chapter Seven: I'm amazed it doesn't just pop out
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When last we left the cast of Final Fantasy X, Seymour had just declared his plan to avenge himself against the intrepid party of heroes by humiliating them. As anyone who has seen any adventure movie, Seymour did what any villian does and revealed his master plan. Will this error come back to haunt him later on? Who knows, but we do know that he later fell asleep with his hangover. So let's get to the fun, shall we?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The morning sun is starting to make its ascent in the sky, readying to take its day-long journey across the heavens once again. But alas the cast and crew doesn't notice this as they are still living in the studio that's been their home the last few days.
Wakka and Lulu are cuddling amongst the wardrobe, basking in the warmth that they provide to each other. Yuna is patiently looking over Tidus with the help of Shiva, whom has provided some ice to soothe his sore muscles. The Luca Goers, whom are trying to get a little practice in before they are asked to leave, currently occupy the lagoon tank. Rikku is still unconscious in the medical facility from her accident the previous day, while Auron is keeping his one good eye in constant vigil over her.
And the practical jokers who are the cause of all this pain and suffering, where are they? Isaaru, Luzzu, and Barthello are leaning against the wall waiting for something to do like any good extra does in a production. Seymour is still passed out in the sound booth, sleeping off his migraine from his excessive drinking from two days ago. And Kimarhi, let's just say that he found out that the plushy toilet seats in the bathroom made a decent pillow and slept the night away in comfort.
Slowly, a crack forms in the entryway, causing streams of the bright morning light to illuminate the dark set. The culprit behind this action is the caterer coming to bring more food and drink for the beleaguered cast.
Caterer: Hello, is anyone here. (opens the door even more) Guess not.
Wakka: (with light shining in his eyes) Ah, the sun, my natural enemy. (hisses like a vampire caught in the morning sun) Ahhh, it burns. Take it away.
Lulu: (opening her eyes) Oh, the light, it's so bright. I'm coming, Chappu, please wait for me.
Wakka: (actual aware of the situation now) Uh, Chappu, what do ya mean?
Lulu: Uh, nothing, just forget it.
Wakka: Forget what?
Lulu: Exactly.
Caterer: (scratching his head) Uh, right. (wheels in his cart of food) I'm just here to stock up your refreshments.
Barthello: (hearing the word "refreshments") Food, what'cha bring, what'cha bring?
Caterer: Just some doughnuts, Chips Ahoy, Oreos, Gummy Worms, and other junk food. Plus there's some Moutain Dew and Dr. Pepper to wash it all down.
Barthello: Ah, all part of a balanced breakfast.
Caterer: (placing the food on the table) Sure, whatever you say.
Barthello rushes over to the table and proceeds to pop open a can of Pringles. As the tell tale sound echoes through the set, the few people whom are still sleeping open their eyes and hurry over to grab some much needed nourishment. Soon, the entire cast is stuffing their faces, paying no attention to what they're putting in their mouths.
Caterers: Ouch, that's my hand you have there. Can I have it back please?
Tidus: (trying to talk around the hand) Oh, sorry, here you go. I knew it tasted funny.
Caterer: (looks at the ravished men and women) Okay, I'll be going now. (to himself) Memo to self: Switch assignments with Pietro. (quickly leaves the stage)
The crew continues to ravage the food table with plenty of arguments erupting over whom gets what. The Goers threaten to unleash crippling Blitz techniques on anyone who touches the Oreos while Lulu prepares to cast Ultima on any foolish enough to touch the chocolate covered doughnuts. This goes on until the bathroom door opens and a mighty odor exits form its confines.
Yuna: (sniffing the air) What's that smell?
Isaaru: (crinkling his nose) I think I'm going to retch.
Seymour: (looking at the restroom) Kimarhi, what're you doing? Go take a shower, you look like crap. And you smell like it as well.
Kimarhi: Kimarhi's face fall in toilet while sleeping. At least Kimarhi remember to flush before doze off.
Seymour: Good for you, now just go do as you're told.
Kimarhi: Okey-dokey. (walks off)
Seymour: Is everyone full? (looks down at the empty table) Because if you're not, too bad for you.
Everybody rubs their stomachs and cleans their teeth with the provided toothpicks. Yuna thens opens her mouth wide and lets out a long belch. Tidus then breaks out into the uncontrollable laughter he did in Luca after the tournament.
Wakka: Nice one, Yuna.
Tidus: (still laughing)
Lulu: Shut up, Tidus. (casts flare on him)
Tidus: (still laughing, but now also burning)
Lulu: I give up.
Luzzu: (taking out a bag of marshmallows) Anyone for S'mores? (starts to roast the fluffy, white objects over Tidus)
Seymour: As much as I would, we have a scene to shoot. So everyone get in his or her place.
Everyone goes where they're supposed to, except for Tidus, who is still laughing.
Seymour: Bickson, could your team please knock him into the pool. The laughter is starting to remind me of Spongebob Squarepants.
Bickson: Sure. (to the Goers) Ready. Aim. Fire. (six blitzballs hit Tidus simultaneously, throwing him into the water)
Seymour: Now that's set, let's get this over with. Action.
The scene plays out like every other time. Yuna begins to cried after her conversation with Tidus about Zanarkand. Tidus then swims towards his tragic lover and takes her into his arms. Their lips draw closer and closer until they meet. As they are kissing, the two drift beneath the surface and begin to float ethereally in the cool water.
Seymour: Simply beautiful. (sheds a tear) Okay, cue the music. (to himself) Here's a song for you, you big-boobed witch.
The speakers come to life with song, but it isn't the lovely melody of "Suteki da Ne." No, it is the infectious beat of a song from the late-60s, early-70s.
Seymour: This one for you, Lulu. Hope you enjoy it. Wakka told me about it.
She's a brick----house
Mighty might just lettin' it all hang out
She's a brick----house
The lady's stacked and that's a fact,
ain't holding nothing back.
She's a brick----house
She's the one, the only one,
who's built like a amazon
We're together everybody knows,
and here's how the story goes.
She knows she got everything
a woman needs to get a man, yeah.
How can she use, the things she use
36-24-36, what a winning hand!
She's a brick----house
Mighty might just lettin' it all hang out
She's a brick----house
The lady's stacked and that's a fact,
ain't holding nothing back.
She's a brick----house
She's the one, the only one,
who's built like a amazon
We're together everybody knows,
and here's how the story goes.
The clothes she wears, the sexy ways,
make an old man wish for younger days
She knows she's built and knows how to please
Sure enough to knock a man to his knees
She's a brick----house
Mighty might just lettin' it all hang out
She's a brick----house
The lady's stacked and that's a fact,
ain't holding nothing back.
She's a brick----house
She's the one, the only one,
who's built like a amazon
We're together everybody knows,
and here's how the story goes.
Shake it down, shake it down now
Shake it down, shake it down now
Lulu: Wakka, you have some explaining to do. (prepares to cast a spell)
Wakka: I didn't say anything, ya. Don't you believe me?
Lulu: (thinks for a moment) Nope. (casts Demi on him)
Wakka: (getting crushed by the force of gravity) Eep! (gets sqished)
Seymour: (whispering to his cohorts) Remind me never to make her mad, okay.
All three nod their heads in agreement as they watch Wakka get squashed over and over again.
To be continued…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Woohoo, another one's in the bag. As always, tell me what you think. Now with the actual notes.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so to all you little kiddies out there, don't eat any of the stuff mentioned in this chapter. Well, except for maybe the doughnuts. *starts to drool with tongue sticking out* Ahhh, doughnuts. And to any who are curious, I had a half a box of Cookie Crisp for breakfast. I can't help it, it's so addicting.
The song was brought to my attention by Chaos. I had heard the song many times during my junior year in high school, as my history teacher like to play it while we were taking tests, but I would not have thought of it without her help. So thank you.
The next chapter is up in the air on who will be up for Seymour's ridicule. I do have some songs picked out, but I still to get some possible leads for Auron and Tidus. So this goes out to the reviewers, any suggestions will be appreciated. Just send them to me via email. I don't want this story to be taken down because the reviews turned into a message board, and I'm pretty sure you don't either. Send them to applemonkeyking@yahoo.com.
And to Tidus' Lil' Angel ( I think that's who it is), I'm sorry, I don't know any Britney Spears songs. So if you have one that fits, tell me the title and I'll look it up.
Uh, that should do it for now. So until the next time I post, farewell. ^_^ (October 6, 2002)