Chapter Eight: Oops, I did it again!
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When last we left the cast of Final Fantasy X, Lulu was wreaking havoc upon poor Wakka, who supposedly suggested the song "She's a Brick House" to Seymour. Little did she know that this all a plot that the Maester set in motion to seek revenge on the intrepid party. Who will be next to be humiliated by his evil choice of songs?
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It is now two hours after the last take of the lagoon scene had ended abruptly. Poor Wakka is little more than a grease stain on the set as Lulu relentlessly cast Demi on him the entire time. The only reason she ceased his torture was the arrival of the caterer.
Lulu: It's lunch already, where'd all the time go?
Everyone on the set stares at her with their mouths agape.
Lulu: What are you looking at?
Tidus: (pointing what would be Wakka) Oh my god, you killed Wakka!
Yuna: You bastard.
Wakka: I'm not dead yet.
The smudge on the floor begins to sprout tiny arms and legs. It then gets to its feet and walks over to the two lovers. (If you need an image to work with, picture Wil E. Coyote after he's fallen off the cliff chasing the roadrunner) He then takes his small fist and punches Tidus in the knee.
Tidus: Ow, that hurt you little munchkin. (dropkicks Wakka across the stage)
Wakka: (sailing through the air) Looks like Team Wakka is blasting off again. (hits the wall with a loud thud)
Caterer: (watching all this take place) Crap, now I know why he wanted to trade assignments. These people are nuts. (proceeds to lay the food out on the table)
Luzzu: (recognizing the man serving the food) Eh, Pietro, what are you doing here?
Pietro: Luzzu, um, that's simple to answer. Since the author of this fic is too lazy to write my story, I needed to make a little extra money to support my family. And since the company is willing to pay triple my wage for tending to your party, I jumped at the chance. Now I know why everyone whose had this route left, you guys are hazardous.
Luzzu: That we are. We already cause the mental breakdown of the director and put one person in the hospital. Uh, make that two as soon as we get Wakka off the wall.
Pietro: (looking incredibly scared) I really should be going, so bye. I left enough food there for lunch and dinner, so I'll see you tomorrow. (runs out of the studio)
Barthello: (busy scraping Wakka off the wall) What he'd leave?
Tidus: (already eating) There's enough roast beef and turkey here to feed an army or one hungry Ronso. Thank god, Kimarhi isn't here or we'd be starving.
Isaaru: (helping Barthello) Anything else?
Yuna: Yeah, looks like he also brought in more doughnuts.
Lulu: Dibs on the chocolate frosting-covered ones! (licks her lips)
Seymour: And to drink?
Tidus: Coffee and a couple of cases of soda.
Seymour: All right everyone, let's have a quick bite to eat and try to get another take rolling. You almost done over there?
Barthello: Yep, all set. But whose going to take him to the hospital?
Seymour: Uh… (scratches his head) The next person who walks through the door.
As if on cue, Auron enters the stage taking a sip from his ever present jug.
Seymour: Glad to see you Auron. We need you to take Wakka to the doctor.
Auron: Why me?
Seymour: You're the only one who knows where it is?
Auron: I am not.
Seymour: Fine then, I give you some incentive then. Go visit Rikku again, I know you miss her.
Auron: (thinking it over) Very well. (walks over to where Barthello is messing with Wakka)
Barthello: Here you go Sir Auron. I made a handle out of the freak's hair so he's easier to carry. (hands over said freak)
Auron: Thank you. (leaves the set)
Seymour: All right, let's eat.
Like earlier that morning, the cast fights over the food. Anyone that dares to touch the plate of doughnuts is greeted by a bolt of lightning compliments of Lulu. Tidus and Yuna are feeding each other turkey while the Luca Goers are taking bets on who can drink the most Mountain Dew before the puke. Seymour, who stills has a slight headache from his hangover places his head under the coffee dispenser and opens the spout. After everyone is satisfied with the meal, only half a roast beef is left sitting on the table.
Seymour: Okay, it's time to get this show rolling again. Everybody take their places.
Tidus and Yuna enter the lagoon and wade to the middle. The prepare to act out the touching scene when Tidus suddenly grabs his side.
Tidus: I'm cramping up here.
Seymour: (smiling wickedly) What are you a pansy? It'll go away in a little bit, so just get started. And action!
Tidus floats around the lagoon telling Yuna all about the Zanarkand that he grew up in and wishes he could take her there. Yuna agrees to this proposal, but begins to cry. Tidus noticing this, swims over to his love and enfolds her in his arms. Yuna looks up into his face and is shocked to see him bend down to kiss her. With this tender embrace, the two drift beneath the water of the pool and float serenely through it.
Seymour: Cue the music. (to himself) This one's for you, Yuna.
A female voice can be heard over the speakers talking to all that are listening.
I know I may be young
But, I've got feelings too
And I need to do
What I feel like doin'
So let me go
And just listen
All you people
Look at me like
I'm a little girl
Well did you ever think
It be OK for me to
Step into this world?
Always saying
"Little girl don't step
Into the glow"
Well I'm just trying
To find out why
'Cause dancing's
What I love
(Yeah)
Suddenly the music begins and the speaker begins to sing the lyrics.
Get it, get it (x6)
(Do you like it?)
(This feels good)
(Panting)
I know I may come off
May come off shy
But I feel like talking
Feel like dancing
When I see this guy
What's practical
What's logical
What the hell
Who cares
All I know is that
I'm so happy when
You're dancing there
I'm a slave for Yu Yevon
I cannot hold it
I cannot control it
I'm a slave for you
I won't deny it
I'm not trying to hide it
Baby
(I just want to
Dance next to you)
Don't you wanna
Dance up on me
To another
Time and place
Baby
(Are you ready?)
Don't you wanna
Dance up on me
From behind?
(Like that)
(You like it)
(Now watch me)
Get it, get it (x6)
(Do you like it?)
(This feels good)
(Panting)
I really wanna dance
Tonight with you
(I just can't help myself)
I really wanna do
What you wanna do
(I just feel
I let myself go)
I really wanna dance
Tonight with you
(Wanna see you)
I really wanna do
What you wanna do
(Uh, uh, uh)
Baby
(I just want to
Dance next to you)
Don't you wanna
Dance up on me
To another
Time and place
Baby
(Are you ready?)
Don't you wanna
Dance up on me
From behind?
I'm a slave for Yu Yevon
I cannot hold it
I cannot control it
I'm a slave for you
I won't deny it
I'm not trying to hide it
(Take that)
It just feels right
It's just feels good)
Get it, get it (x6)
I'm a slave for Yu Yevon
I cannot hold it
I cannot control it
I'm a slave for you
I won't deny it
I'm not trying to hide it
(He we go again)
(Laughs)
(He go now)
(Here we go)
(Like that)
The music ends almost as suddenly as it begins. Yet again the scene is ruined thanks to the meddling of Seymour. But it is doubly worse when Tidus is found floating on his stomach on the top of the pool. Yuna rushes over to turn him over.
Yuna: What was that? I'm not a slave for Yu Yevon anymore.
Seymour: Yeah, so, you still danced for him, so it fit. But if you didn't like this song, there's always the next one. (laughs maniacally)
Yuna: All great! (looks down at Tidus, whose turning a shade of blue) Crap, he looks like Kimarhi without the hair. (starts to perform CPR) C'mon, live.
Tidus: (spitting out water) Uh, can we do that last part over again?
Yuna: (happy to see him alive) Sure.
They start to make out just like in the older days that week.
Seymour: Crap, what does it take to kill him?
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A/N: This song was suggested to me by Tidus' Lil Angel, and I would like to thank her greatly for it. As to the appearance of Pietro, yeah it was intentional. I have this weird idea that I want to link all my stories together in some way, and this was one of the obvious methods to accomplish that feat. If you would like to read his story, just search for "The Story of a Crusader," "The Story of a Wanderer," and "The Story of a Guarantor." Yes, this is a blatant plug. Third, from personal experience, I have found that about fifteen to eighteen cans of Mountain Dew is enough to make almost anyone throw up. That or run around a room completely out of his or her mind. Sugar rushes are so cool, until they end that is. Anyhoo, tell me what you think. Hopefully the next chapter will be up quicker that this one. (October 21, 2002)