Don't Cry, Don't Beg: Swallow Up My Mind (I See)
A/N: Here I am, back again!!! Yay!! They like me, they really like me!!! Anyway, this one is going to be longer then 'When I Fall Down'. It's also going to be more complicated. STILL with songs in it. STILL romance. Less humor. All right, read on.
A QUICK review to my chapter 7 reviewers in the other story:
Mione: Thanks!
cute-crazy-chick1: Yeah, don't you just love endings like that? :).
axania chic: Thanks!
Dragon-soul: Nice to have my long-lost reviewer back (LoL). Yeah, there's singing in this one, and in all of them.... :).
mmsaidpotterluva: Yeah that's okay. Thanks!
LaminaCourt: LoL. To clear that up, it was Sirius to Ro, understand now? Thanks!
SiriDragon: He he he, me a fave author? I'm touched! LoL. Yeah, I like Ro too. She's one of my faves. :) I won't be too mean to her.
Woo-hoo! FOURTY REVIEWS! Thanks to you all!
Disclaimer: I own some songs, Ro, Malene, Lyn, Bren, the plot, Bia, and Ro's family.
Rating: PG-13 for curse words and issues to be named later
Genre: Romance/Drama
Summary: Lily and James are in love. But Lily's best friend Ro still hates all of James' friends- especially the one in love with her. Can Ro, who's been closed off to love for so long, find love with a person she now considers an enemy? Sirius/Ro, Remus/New character. Read 'When I Fall Down Who Will Pick Me Up' before reading this.
~*~Chapter 1: See Through My Eyes~*~
Ro looked around the girl's dorm. She was the only one in there- the rest of the fourth year girls had gone home for the Easter vacation. The only fourth years left were Ro, Lily, and the Marauders, except for Peter.
"Okay," Ro said out loud, "I have two bags of extra-butter popcorn, charmed to stay warm, two mugs of hot cocoa, also charmed, a stack of movies and a stack of CDs. What am I missing- besides my best friend?"
"A brain?" suggested a familiar voice. Ro turned and sent Sirius a stoney glare. Then she sighed and slapped her forehead with the palm of her hand.
"A charm on the door!" she reminded herself, slapping her head again.
"Ahhhh, that too," Sirius remarked, walking in. Ro grabbed her wand and pointed it at his neck. Sirius held up his hands, his grin widening. She rolled her eyes. After a month or two, she had become friends with Remus, James and Sirius (she still, however, didn't like Peter- there was something about that kid that gave her the creeps) but sometimes- like now- they still got on her nerves.
"Out," Ro said, smirking as she stepped forward and tried to push him out, but he grabbed her arms. "Get off me," she complained.
"Say the magic word," Sirius announced.
"Abracadabra," Ro joked, and green sparks shot from her wand, turning whatever they touched pink.
"That's a real spell?" Sirius asked. Ro smacked him on his head with her wand, turning his hair pink. "Hey!" he exclaimed as she began to giggle.
"You.... look..... so..... funny!" Ro cried, doubling over in laughter.
"You think that's funny, hmm?" Sirius said, grinning evilly and pushing her back against the bed, tickling her, which made her laugh harder.
"Aw, well isn't it everyone's favorite couple?" Lily said from the doorway, smirking. James and Remus, who were standing behind her, burst out laughing.
Sirius and Ro began turning red. Sirius got off her quickly and leaned against the bed, still holding one arm. Ro stood up next to him, glaring at the two guys.
"C'mon, you know you love him," Lily added teasingly. Ro turned to glare at Lily.
"Yeah," James chimed in, "and he loves her right back." Then the three of them started laughing.
"I do not love her!" Sirius protested.
"You must be crazy!" Ro said at the same time.
"Then why are you still holding her arm?" Remus asked.
Sirius looked down at his hand and the same time Ro turned to look down. He let go quickly and stepped back a few steps. Ro stepped forward a bit and sat on her bed, throwing pillows at them.
Lily ducked under the flying pillows and came over to sit next to Ro. "Ahhhhhh, you'll admit it in time," she said, grinning. "Hey!" she yelped a second later as Sirius hit her in the back with a pillow.
"Out," Ro said tiredly, collapsing onto the bed. "Out!"
Lily sighed and stood up. "Well, you heard her boys, out. Now!" she added as James started to step into the room.
She turned towards Sirius, about to order him out, then paused and giggled.
"Sirius, is your hair pink?" she asked.
Sirius grumbled and stomped out, James and Remus following him. Ro charmed the door to keep them out and turned to Lily with a heavy sigh. "Okay," she said, "let's have some fun!"
~*~
The next day, Ro was in the empty common room. She checked her watch and sighed happily, doubting that anyone would come down at ten to eleven at night.
She started strumming the guitar, working with a tune and lyrics for her newest song. She hummed softly, then played the same melody once. She started playing it and singing.
"See through my eyes, brush away the tears didn't cry Erase so many years of being tough-"
She frowned, then leaned over to her notebook, which was sitting on the table, and scribbled something out, re-writing quickly. Then she started singing again.
"See through my eyes, see the tears I never cried See the lonely, freezing nights See the hours steal away another hour of my life See it all, it's all there Please see through my eyes"
She gave an approving nod and smiled, then went back to the notebook. She was so deep into the song she didn't noticed Sirius coming down the stairs of the boy's dorm, yawning, until he came behind her and tapped her an the shoulder.
Ro turned around, startled, then let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, it's just you," she said.
Sirius grinned. "Who'd you think it was?" he asked.
Ro shrugged. "A stalker?" she offered, also grinning.
Sirius rolled his eyes and sat on the couch next to Ro. "Whatcha got there?" he asked, peering over her arm.
"Just a song," Ro muttered.
"Ooooooooooh, let me hear it!" Sirius said.
"No!"
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"
"NO!"
"I won't tell anyone. C'mon, please?"
"Weeeeeeeeell, all right," Ro finally agreed, glancing over the lyrics quickly, then playing a tune on the guitar.
"Look in my eyes, can you see the story there Buried behind tears that I couldn't cry Behind so many years of being tough But look closely, stare as deep as you can go But be careful not to lose yourself in me Be careful, you'll see more than you should see
I'm inviting you in, don't bruise me I'm opening up, don't misuse me
See through my eyes, see the tears I never cried See the lonely, freezing nights See the hours steal away another hour of my life See it all, it's all there Please see through my eyes"
Sirius watched her eyes as she played. It did seem like her eyes were telling a story.
"Look in my eyes, can you see the story there It wouldn't be destroyed by tears I couldn't cry Or so many years of being tough Look closer, it's there, stare deeper, you'll see But don't lose yourself in me, please don't My sense of self is screwed up enough
I've let you in, don't bruise me I've opened up, don't misuse me
See through my eyes, through the tears I wouldn't cry Watch the hiding, angry days Watch as the years steal away another year of my life It's all there for you to see Please see through my eyes
You're looking through my eyes, at the tears I couldn't cry At my scarred days and nights Watching the seconds take away another second of my life You're seeing all there is to see Of my screwed up life
But be careful not to lose yourself in me My sense of self is screwed up enough"
"What did you think?" Ro asked as she finished.
"It's great," Sirius said, nodding. Ro let out a sigh of relief. "Can I hear another one?"
Ro nodded and started playing a Dashboard Confessional song, one of her favorites, 'Living In Your Letters'.
"And I know that you hope fire Long, good goodbyes Embracing for forever And falling in your eyes In your eyes"
Ro closed her eyes and played like she had heard the song so many times.
"Breathe deeply from this envelope It smells like you and I can't be without that scent It's filling me with all you mean to me To me"
Sirius watched her as she fell deeper into the music, not realizing he was there anymore. She looked so beautiful.
Tell her you love her, he told himself.
But he couldn't.
"So I'll hit the pavement It's gotta be better than waiting And pushing you far away cause I'm scared So I'll take my chances and head on my way up there Cause turning to you is like Falling in love when you're dead"
Sirius smiled and clapped slowly as she finished the song. Ro smiled and opened her eyes. She put her guitar on the floor and leaned back against the sofa, curling her legs up against her stomach and chest.
Now or never, Black, Sirius told himself.
"You know," he whispered, moving slightly closer, "you look beautiful in the firelight." He leaned closer, going to kiss her.
Ro jerked back. "I have to go," she muttered, words stumbling over each other. She picked up her guitar and her notebook. "See you tomorrow," she added as she hurried up the stairs.
~*~
A/N: There we go, chapter 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The first song in this chapter is 'See Through My Eyes' and it's mine! The second was 'Living In Your Letters' by Dashboard Confessional, or at least parts of it.
A/N: Here I am, back again!!! Yay!! They like me, they really like me!!! Anyway, this one is going to be longer then 'When I Fall Down'. It's also going to be more complicated. STILL with songs in it. STILL romance. Less humor. All right, read on.
A QUICK review to my chapter 7 reviewers in the other story:
Mione: Thanks!
cute-crazy-chick1: Yeah, don't you just love endings like that? :).
axania chic: Thanks!
Dragon-soul: Nice to have my long-lost reviewer back (LoL). Yeah, there's singing in this one, and in all of them.... :).
mmsaidpotterluva: Yeah that's okay. Thanks!
LaminaCourt: LoL. To clear that up, it was Sirius to Ro, understand now? Thanks!
SiriDragon: He he he, me a fave author? I'm touched! LoL. Yeah, I like Ro too. She's one of my faves. :) I won't be too mean to her.
Woo-hoo! FOURTY REVIEWS! Thanks to you all!
Disclaimer: I own some songs, Ro, Malene, Lyn, Bren, the plot, Bia, and Ro's family.
Rating: PG-13 for curse words and issues to be named later
Genre: Romance/Drama
Summary: Lily and James are in love. But Lily's best friend Ro still hates all of James' friends- especially the one in love with her. Can Ro, who's been closed off to love for so long, find love with a person she now considers an enemy? Sirius/Ro, Remus/New character. Read 'When I Fall Down Who Will Pick Me Up' before reading this.
~*~Chapter 1: See Through My Eyes~*~
Ro looked around the girl's dorm. She was the only one in there- the rest of the fourth year girls had gone home for the Easter vacation. The only fourth years left were Ro, Lily, and the Marauders, except for Peter.
"Okay," Ro said out loud, "I have two bags of extra-butter popcorn, charmed to stay warm, two mugs of hot cocoa, also charmed, a stack of movies and a stack of CDs. What am I missing- besides my best friend?"
"A brain?" suggested a familiar voice. Ro turned and sent Sirius a stoney glare. Then she sighed and slapped her forehead with the palm of her hand.
"A charm on the door!" she reminded herself, slapping her head again.
"Ahhhh, that too," Sirius remarked, walking in. Ro grabbed her wand and pointed it at his neck. Sirius held up his hands, his grin widening. She rolled her eyes. After a month or two, she had become friends with Remus, James and Sirius (she still, however, didn't like Peter- there was something about that kid that gave her the creeps) but sometimes- like now- they still got on her nerves.
"Out," Ro said, smirking as she stepped forward and tried to push him out, but he grabbed her arms. "Get off me," she complained.
"Say the magic word," Sirius announced.
"Abracadabra," Ro joked, and green sparks shot from her wand, turning whatever they touched pink.
"That's a real spell?" Sirius asked. Ro smacked him on his head with her wand, turning his hair pink. "Hey!" he exclaimed as she began to giggle.
"You.... look..... so..... funny!" Ro cried, doubling over in laughter.
"You think that's funny, hmm?" Sirius said, grinning evilly and pushing her back against the bed, tickling her, which made her laugh harder.
"Aw, well isn't it everyone's favorite couple?" Lily said from the doorway, smirking. James and Remus, who were standing behind her, burst out laughing.
Sirius and Ro began turning red. Sirius got off her quickly and leaned against the bed, still holding one arm. Ro stood up next to him, glaring at the two guys.
"C'mon, you know you love him," Lily added teasingly. Ro turned to glare at Lily.
"Yeah," James chimed in, "and he loves her right back." Then the three of them started laughing.
"I do not love her!" Sirius protested.
"You must be crazy!" Ro said at the same time.
"Then why are you still holding her arm?" Remus asked.
Sirius looked down at his hand and the same time Ro turned to look down. He let go quickly and stepped back a few steps. Ro stepped forward a bit and sat on her bed, throwing pillows at them.
Lily ducked under the flying pillows and came over to sit next to Ro. "Ahhhhhh, you'll admit it in time," she said, grinning. "Hey!" she yelped a second later as Sirius hit her in the back with a pillow.
"Out," Ro said tiredly, collapsing onto the bed. "Out!"
Lily sighed and stood up. "Well, you heard her boys, out. Now!" she added as James started to step into the room.
She turned towards Sirius, about to order him out, then paused and giggled.
"Sirius, is your hair pink?" she asked.
Sirius grumbled and stomped out, James and Remus following him. Ro charmed the door to keep them out and turned to Lily with a heavy sigh. "Okay," she said, "let's have some fun!"
~*~
The next day, Ro was in the empty common room. She checked her watch and sighed happily, doubting that anyone would come down at ten to eleven at night.
She started strumming the guitar, working with a tune and lyrics for her newest song. She hummed softly, then played the same melody once. She started playing it and singing.
"See through my eyes, brush away the tears didn't cry Erase so many years of being tough-"
She frowned, then leaned over to her notebook, which was sitting on the table, and scribbled something out, re-writing quickly. Then she started singing again.
"See through my eyes, see the tears I never cried See the lonely, freezing nights See the hours steal away another hour of my life See it all, it's all there Please see through my eyes"
She gave an approving nod and smiled, then went back to the notebook. She was so deep into the song she didn't noticed Sirius coming down the stairs of the boy's dorm, yawning, until he came behind her and tapped her an the shoulder.
Ro turned around, startled, then let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, it's just you," she said.
Sirius grinned. "Who'd you think it was?" he asked.
Ro shrugged. "A stalker?" she offered, also grinning.
Sirius rolled his eyes and sat on the couch next to Ro. "Whatcha got there?" he asked, peering over her arm.
"Just a song," Ro muttered.
"Ooooooooooh, let me hear it!" Sirius said.
"No!"
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"
"NO!"
"I won't tell anyone. C'mon, please?"
"Weeeeeeeeell, all right," Ro finally agreed, glancing over the lyrics quickly, then playing a tune on the guitar.
"Look in my eyes, can you see the story there Buried behind tears that I couldn't cry Behind so many years of being tough But look closely, stare as deep as you can go But be careful not to lose yourself in me Be careful, you'll see more than you should see
I'm inviting you in, don't bruise me I'm opening up, don't misuse me
See through my eyes, see the tears I never cried See the lonely, freezing nights See the hours steal away another hour of my life See it all, it's all there Please see through my eyes"
Sirius watched her eyes as she played. It did seem like her eyes were telling a story.
"Look in my eyes, can you see the story there It wouldn't be destroyed by tears I couldn't cry Or so many years of being tough Look closer, it's there, stare deeper, you'll see But don't lose yourself in me, please don't My sense of self is screwed up enough
I've let you in, don't bruise me I've opened up, don't misuse me
See through my eyes, through the tears I wouldn't cry Watch the hiding, angry days Watch as the years steal away another year of my life It's all there for you to see Please see through my eyes
You're looking through my eyes, at the tears I couldn't cry At my scarred days and nights Watching the seconds take away another second of my life You're seeing all there is to see Of my screwed up life
But be careful not to lose yourself in me My sense of self is screwed up enough"
"What did you think?" Ro asked as she finished.
"It's great," Sirius said, nodding. Ro let out a sigh of relief. "Can I hear another one?"
Ro nodded and started playing a Dashboard Confessional song, one of her favorites, 'Living In Your Letters'.
"And I know that you hope fire Long, good goodbyes Embracing for forever And falling in your eyes In your eyes"
Ro closed her eyes and played like she had heard the song so many times.
"Breathe deeply from this envelope It smells like you and I can't be without that scent It's filling me with all you mean to me To me"
Sirius watched her as she fell deeper into the music, not realizing he was there anymore. She looked so beautiful.
Tell her you love her, he told himself.
But he couldn't.
"So I'll hit the pavement It's gotta be better than waiting And pushing you far away cause I'm scared So I'll take my chances and head on my way up there Cause turning to you is like Falling in love when you're dead"
Sirius smiled and clapped slowly as she finished the song. Ro smiled and opened her eyes. She put her guitar on the floor and leaned back against the sofa, curling her legs up against her stomach and chest.
Now or never, Black, Sirius told himself.
"You know," he whispered, moving slightly closer, "you look beautiful in the firelight." He leaned closer, going to kiss her.
Ro jerked back. "I have to go," she muttered, words stumbling over each other. She picked up her guitar and her notebook. "See you tomorrow," she added as she hurried up the stairs.
~*~
A/N: There we go, chapter 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The first song in this chapter is 'See Through My Eyes' and it's mine! The second was 'Living In Your Letters' by Dashboard Confessional, or at least parts of it.