Saying no to You
Warning: This chapter is rated R, for the usual and for my own protection. The overall rating for the story, however, will stay PG-13, as I'm not going into excruciating detail. The chapters may eventually dwindle back to PG-13, but don't count on it now. Yes, yes, I do use the R rating lightly, but that's just caution. So sue me.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the brainchild of JK Rowling, and sadly, I am only the temporary babysitter. However, I am not paid for my services. You won't make any money from suing me. Only the lawyers who read this care – to the rest, it is obvious.
A/N: The people have spoken, and guess what? I'm not going to tell you! You can just read for yourself!
I feel really low for not updating for so long. As always, though, I do have an excuse. Take it or leave it, I don't care (just don't hurt me). I suffered a brief period of denial, in which I didn't think this piece of work was good enough. Then, when I actually wrote it, I had to be a perfectionist. I still feel like a creep, especially since I haven't reviewed, written, or even been onto the site for a long time (I am grievously repenting). But here it is, completed, and chapter nine will hopefully follow soon! ^_^
~Chapter Eight: Fresh Wounds~
Things couldn't have been more perfect as the sun rose over the castle. Remus was up with it, pleased that James was at last speaking to them again. It was about time that James got a clue and stopped frowning on the romance blossoming between his two best friends. At least he was sorry for it now, Remus thought with some satisfaction as he remembered the bruise that loomed on James's lower jaw now. Who would have guessed that gaunt, quiet, mysterious Remus Lupin would ever punch someone?
Remus smiled to himself and looked over at Sirius, still sleeping soundly with his thick black hair spread out over his pillow. At least they hadn't argued last night. Remus had been afraid to admit that he didn't feel ready for a sexual commitment. Especially to Sirius, whose record proved that he hardly considered sex a commitment. But even Sirius admitted that his record wasn't what he wanted. He even confessed that he tired of sneaking around, secretly shagging every attractive female in the school. But Sirius, for all his good looks, cleverness, and popularity, had his faults.
One fault in particular annoyed Remus and scared him at the same time. He knew that Sirius was accustomed to getting what he wanted, almost exactly when he wanted it. He knew that what Sirius wanted right now was something that he had been avoiding in their relationship, and for too much of a good reason. Sirius definitely seemed fixated these days on getting into Remus's pants and then into his bed. While it was admittedly arousing to have someone so interested in you – or rather, what he could do with you – Remus still didn't like the idea of leaping into the unknown without checking out the territory first. After all, if there was one thing he didn't want, it was to experience hurt or loss. He didn't want to lose Sirius, but he didn't want to lose his virginity, either. This presented a considerable problem, as Sirius's face was filled with longing whenever they were alone. These days, he had stopped hiding it when they were around James. Hell, it wouldn't be long before Peter would suspect something.
James started to stir, and Remus looked away from where he had been staring out the window, turning his gaze now onto his awakening friend. Grumbling, James sat up and rubbed his eyes wearily. "What time is it?" he murmured, searching for his glasses with one absentminded hand.
"Time enough that you got up, Prongs," Remus said, amused. It was quite interesting to watch his friend's reaction when he said that.
James looked up as soon as he got his glasses on, looking shocked to hear a voice responding to what he had obviously intended to be a rhetorical question. "You're up already?" he demanded, looking at Remus as though he were insane.
Remus grinned and replied, "Of course. Which is why I wasn't in bed."
"Yeah, I know. But you're up this early?"
"It isn't that early."
"What possessed you to wake up?" James asked, still incredulous.
"I needed to think," Remus said. "You should probably get dressed. I expect the others will wake up any minute."
Sure enough, Peter hit the floor with a dull thump. He rose halfway, rubbing his head. "I hate that," he complained, glaring at the bed as though it had thrown him off. His feet were tangled in the covers, and he jerked the sheets away from his ankles as James laughed at the scene that had just unfolded. Still irritated from his fall, Peter stalked off to take a shower. James followed, still sniggering and teasing Peter about it the whole way. He wasn't going to get over that for a while.
Remus, however, was more focused on Sirius. He sat and watched the other boy, but it seemed that Sirius was not going to move. Slowly and cautiously, as Sirius could be quite the cranky one when awoken from his peaceful slumber, Remus approached Sirius's bed and shook him gently. Sirius's eyes shot open and he frowned crossly up at Remus. "What did you have to go and wake me up for?" he inquired in frustration.
"It's about time you got up," said Remus. "Why don't you get dressed?"
"What if I don't want to get dressed?" Sirius asked. "What if I want to get undressed?"
"Then you're not going to do it around me," Remus replied. He had a closed expression on his face that showed his displeasure with the current subject. "Put some clothes on and we'll all go down to breakfast." He watched Sirius and waited until the other boy grabbed his clothes and closed the hangings around his bed. Sirius was usually not this shy, but he had gotten the message that Remus was trying to convey – a little modesty never hurt anyone. For that matter, he also seemed to understand that his advances were currently unwanted. He figured that there would be a time, but this wasn't it.
He came out fully dressed and they headed down to breakfast. A few moments after they sat down and started to heap food onto their plates, James and Peter came in. James was laughing, obviously teasing Peter about the previous incident, and Peter was stammering defenses. "I got tangled in the sheets," he said earnestly.
"Yes, you did, but that wasn't why you fell," said James, still grinning.
"Oh…shut up," Peter said. His ears were starting to turn scarlet with embarrassment.
"Did you finish the essay for McGonagall?" asked Remus, hoping to change the subject.
James was successfully distracted from teasing Peter. "Oh – yeah. Lily and I worked on it together." His ears were turning pink.
"You two are so cute together!" exclaimed Sirius in a mock-feminine voice. "Is ickle Jamie finally in love?"
"Shut up," mumbled James, his cheeks flushing pink as well. "We haven't gotten that serious yet – that is to say, we haven't done anything against school rules." He studied Sirius pointedly, but neither Remus nor Sirius said a word. They didn't even exchange a glance or bat an eye.
"What are you implying?" Sirius asked, now feigning innocence. "You know I haven't done anything against the rules in that department…okay, a few minor violations, but nothing major."
Remus snorted. Sirius looked at him curiously, but James said, "Hah! Minor violations? Since when has shagging every attractive female in the school been only a minor violation?" He was smiling good-naturedly, though, and Sirius knew that he wasn't trying to pick a fight. This was fortunate for James, as he already sported one bruise from insulting Sirius.
"Okay, okay – you win," he said, grinning.
Remus looked slightly uncomfortable. He didn't like to talk about Sirius's past exploits, but it seemed unavoidable these days. He knew that he couldn't pretend that Sirius hadn't slept with any girls, and he knew that he couldn't turn a deaf ear when the others discussed it. But he still didn't like to be constantly reminded that Sirius, the boy he loved, had once been perhaps the most promiscuous in the school. He sighed and began to eat a little more quickly. The others seemed not to notice. They were discussing the upcoming Quidditch match against Hufflepuff. Remus listened, but he was only half interested. He didn't see as much appeal in Quidditch as his friends did; sure, it was great to watch, but Sirius and James talked about it as though they would die without it.
Classes dragged on for what seemed like ages, and although Remus took diligent notes, he wasn't paying as much attention as he usually did. His eyes were more on Sirius than on his quill or the words he was writing. Sirius caught his eye and grinned almost suggestively. Remus smiled back, but tried to hide his feelings more effectively. To let everyone know that they were together now would be to slaughter the romance before it had a fighting chance. Right now, it was Remus and Sirius against the world and its standards. They could win or lose, and quite obviously, Remus wanted to win.
They were sitting at lunch when Sirius said under his breath, so that Peter and James wouldn't hear, "Can I talk to you for a minute, Moony?"
"Of course," said Remus, slightly puzzled. What was with the secretive air? Could Sirius be planning something? He almost didn't want to know. But he followed his boyfriend out of the hall and to the foot of the marble staircase. "What is it that's so pressing, Padfoot?" he asked, softly in case anyone came out after them.
Sirius sighed. "Would you meet me tonight in our classroom?" he inquired, almost urgently. "I need to see you alone, and I don't want James or Peter – for that matter, anyone – to interfere."
Remus was still puzzled, but he nodded. "All right," he agreed. "What time?"
"Sometime late, preferably," Sirius said, a little louder now that he was sure they were alone. "A little after midnight. Take James's Invisibility Cloak if I haven't already. Can't risk getting caught…" He smiled, now devoid of the secretive, desperate manner. "C'mon, we should get back before anyone misses us." Remus followed him back into the hall, pondering what Sirius had just requested of him. Meet him after midnight in the empty classroom? Could there be something wrong? The way Sirius talked about it, something deathly important was going to happen. Unfortunately, he hadn't given many hints. Remus wished that for once, Sirius could have openly told him what he wanted. Sirius was always one to lead his girlfriend – or boyfriend, thought Remus with a wry smile – on with subtle suggestions. Any other time, Remus would have been astounded if Sirius had bluntly stated his needs. Now he was wishing that Sirius didn't feel that discretion was important, which was a rare feeling, as Remus appreciated small nuances compared to blatancy.
It seemed like the classes after lunch took more than ages to end; to Remus, they lasted more like eternities in themselves. He hardly took a single note. When he did, he was so distracted that he found himself crossing out more words than writing them. In the end, he gave up and simply studied Sirius as casually as possible. Sirius, for his part, was busy staring off into space, and didn't notice that Remus was silently, unobtrusively admiring him.
By dinnertime, Remus was going mad with curiosity. Midnight couldn't come quickly enough for his taste. He caught himself looking at Sirius more often than was appropriate, and even Peter seemed to be noticing. Of course, he was too busy worrying about schoolwork to pay very much attention. James, however, seemed to realize that something was happening; he kept glancing from Remus, whose eyes were raptly on Sirius much of the time, to Sirius, who apparently had no idea what was happening. He sat with Lily during dinner, and even Peter gave the two their space rather than pester them for help with his Transfiguration homework. He excused himself sooner than normal, and dashed off to the library, presumably to enlist the help of myriad spellbooks before eventually giving up on the effort.
Remus watched with raised eyebrows as Sirius shoveled food down his throat. There were times when Sirius's table manners appalled him, reminding Remus of his friend as the bearlike dog. It was certainly fitting, though at the same time, Remus did not appreciate all the canine behaviors that Sirius displayed. He smirked to himself as he pictured Padfoot the dog taking a large gulp of water from a toilet, then shook the image off. Sirius was far smarter than to resort to such a thing. Cruel as it might sound, to sink lower than one's position was more of a thing that Peter would do.
"Sirius?" he heard himself say. His voice sounded smaller than it usually did, and quieter.
"Yeah?" said Sirius, through a mouthful of chicken. He was still holding a nearly bare bone in his hand. He quickly chewed the food in his mouth and swallowed it, remembering how much Remus hated impoliteness.
Remus shook himself inwardly. He couldn't renegotiate now. They'd set the deal for midnight, and although it would be nice to cut an hour or two away from the sentenced wait, he didn't want to risk being caught. "I was just wondering…but forget it." He looked down at his plate again, away from Sirius's eyes.
"What were you wondering?" Sirius asked, looking genuinely interested. He had put the chicken bone back on his plate, and proceeded to wipe his hands on his napkin.
"Do we have to wait until after midnight?" Remus asked in a rush of words.
Sirius merely stared at him. He seemed confused, as he blinked several times while still looking at Remus with a rather blank expression on his face. "Come again?" he said, with a friendly smile.
"I said," Remus began, breathing deeply to calm his nerves, "do we have to wait until after midnight?"
Sirius broke into a doglike grin, and Remus felt relief flood through him. He had been afraid that Sirius would be annoyed with him. "Trust me, Remmie, I'd love to see you sooner than midnight," he replied longingly, "but if we met at ten or eleven, there's a higher risk of being caught, and I don't want us to be caught."
Remus stared. Sirius Black actually cared about being caught wandering about the school late at night, and wanted to avoid doing so? He was sure that whatever it was must be very important to have Sirius so tense about it. Any other circumstances would have found him openly embracing the idea of being caught. Sirius could weasel his way out of the worst punishments; he was certainly cunning enough. But there was something different about this time.
If it has Sirius worried, why aren't I worried?
Remus quelled his confused thoughts and turned back to his dinner, shooting one last longing look at Sirius. He wanted midnight to come right now. At least then, he wouldn't have to deal with this kind of anticipation.
As Sirius and Remus made their way up to the common room, Remus couldn't help but notice that Sirius seemed to be getting anxious. James and Lily passed them, hand in hand, her laughing at a joke he had just told, him grinning with her. Remus looked over at Sirius and wondered why they couldn't do the same: take hands and walk through the halls, openly proclaiming themselves as a couple. He knew why, of course – it was painfully obvious. Sirius would lose his popularity if he let it be known that he was gay, and Remus would be forced to alienate himself more than ever. It was a higher price than either of them was currently willing to pay.
The common room was as loud and jubilant as it always was, even without Sirius adding to the jokes or the stories being told. He sat with Remus, working on homework they technically could have begun work on in Charms class. Remus was giddy with curiosity, and with the idea of being so close to Sirius without being able to touch him. He finally excused himself, stating that he was tired and needed to go to bed. James split from Lily as Remus crossed the common room and hurried to his side. "What's the matter with you today?" he demanded, looking interested, but concerned. "You've been so quiet, and you were off in your little world all today. Did anything happen with Sirius?" He was looking at Remus with such solemnity, such intense concentration, that Remus found it hard to meet his gaze. "Did he do anything? Did he hurt you?"
Remus shook his head with a small smile. "No, it's nothing like that at all," he said, finally meeting his best friend's eyes. "I just haven't felt like myself today. I'm not hurt, or in trouble, and neither is Sirius. It has nothing to do with him. Or rather, nothing with a negative connotation."
James sighed, clearly relieved. "Good," he breathed, "because I was starting to wonder when the old Moony would be back. Ever since you and Sirius…" He stopped and cleared his throat abruptly. He seemed to have decided that he shouldn't go on. But Remus nodded, wanting to hear him out, and James seemed to strengthen his resolve. "Since you and Sirius became…boyfriends, I started to worry that I was going to lose you two, at least as friends. I get most worried when one of you is spacing out all day, and I want to ask if it has to do with the other, but it sounds mean, you know?" He shoved his untidy hair out of his eyes, still looking at Remus earnestly. "If there's ever anything you need, Moony, anything at all, I'll be happy to give it to you." He smiled and headed back to Lily, who was waiting patiently across the common room.
Remus, feeling a little less anxious and certainly better about his relationship with James, continued into the dormitory. He started to change into his pajamas, and was in nothing but his boxer shorts when Sirius entered the room. Remus felt himself blushing very faintly, almost indistinguishable in the dim lighting of the room, but still present and obvious to him. Sirius, in the meantime, had backed into the door, which he had closed behind him, a habit that currently tortured both of them. It was one less escape route for Remus, and one more tool of seduction should Sirius choose to use it.
He didn't. "Oh…Moony, I'm sorry, I should have knocked or something," he said, tripping as he hurried out of the room.
Remus could only stare after him, at the door which had been closed again in Sirius's wake. He had never seen Sirius make such a hasty retreat. Even Remus usually threw in some suggestive dialogue when he caught Sirius in nothing but boxers. Something strange was going on. It seemed that their meeting tonight was more important than he had thought. With a bemused shrug, he finished changing.
Not a moment too soon, for Sirius came in again, this time more slowly. He peeked around the door before entering. There was a slightly darkening tinge to his cheeks, evident even though the light was otherwise insufficient. Sirius headed over to his trunk, grabbed his pajamas, and closed the curtains around his bed to change. Remus smiled, becoming more amused by the moment, and pulled the curtains aside. "Remus!" Sirius breathed, eyes widening with horror. He was only lacking a shirt, but he was blushing as though Remus had just caught him in the shower. "What…?"
"You're behaving oddly, Padfoot," said Remus softly. "Are you sure you're all right?"
"Of course I am," Sirius said, recovering. "Why?"
"Oh, it's just that you usually throw an innuendo or two at me when you catch me changing," Remus replied, in a manner he felt was a bit too casual for the given situation.
"Well, yes…but you said that you didn't want to do it, so I figured…" Sirius trailed off, seeing that Remus was giving him a strange look.
"Padfoot, just because I told you not to physically make any moves on me, that doesn't mean you can't make a few innuendos. Suggestive dialogue isn't against the law, although in front of James and Peter it is certainly less welcome."
Sirius sighed heavily, and smiled. "Well, Moony, you might as well get off my bed before anything happens," he said.
A grin spread across Remus's face. "That's more like it," he said. He took Sirius's mouth with his own, forcing Sirius further beneath him, and wrapped his arms tightly around the other boy's waist. Sirius, after getting over the initial shock of having Remus make the first move, twined his arms around Remus's neck and kissed back, allowing the werewolf to ease him onto his back.
"Whoa!"
James's voice cut into the moment, and Remus jumped away from Sirius so quickly that he almost shoved his boyfriend off the bed. The guilty pair turned bright crimson, looking at James and Lily with mounting embarrassment. "I didn't know that you two were –" Lily promptly cut herself off.
"Gay?" James suggested, and she nodded, not tearing her eyes away from Remus and Sirius. "Together?"
"Did you know, James?" she asked, looking at him.
"Well – yes," he admitted, "but I didn't want to tell you yet. I wanted to protect their privacy. They're my best friends, and they didn't want the whole school to know yet." He looked at Lily pleadingly. "You aren't going to tell, are you? Please, Lils, you have to keep it a secret…if not for them, then for me."
"Of course I will, James!" she exclaimed, looking surprised. "You ought to know me better than that. I would never tell a secret like this. Remus and Sirius," she said, turning to the other two boys, "I won't tell anyone unless you specifically say that you don't mind being a couple publicly." Remus nodded weakly, and Sirius sighed with relief.
"Well, now that that's settled," he said, "could you excuse me for a minute? I have to change…"
"Sure," said Lily and James, and they backed out.
"That was close," said Remus, as soon as they were gone. "At least we can trust Lily."
"Good thing James goes with her," Sirius agreed, pulling off his pants and reaching for his pajamas. "Anyone else, and we'd be all over the school by tomorrow morning." He closed the curtains, but a moment later, he reemerged in his sleep shorts. "We're alone, Moony. No one but us would know…"
"No," Remus replied, so coldly, that he shocked even himself. "For the last bloody time, Sirius, I am not going to have sex with you just because –"
Sirius was taken aback. "I didn't mean anything like that!" he said, staring at Remus. "I don't always think about sex, you know." He grinned devilishly. "Although it is an intriguing subject."
"Keep your shorts on, Padfoot," Remus said, but he was using a much warmer tone now that he was reassured. His face softened when he noticed that Sirius still looked hurt. "Oh, come here," he offered.
Sirius climbed into his arms in record timing, and Remus pushed him back to where they had been moments before. Their lips were locked, tongues brushing slowly against one another as Sirius let out a muffled moan. The small creak of the door opening alerted Remus this time, however, and he reluctantly jerked his lips from Sirius's, gesturing frantically for his boyfriend to get in his own bed. Sirius complied automatically, and seconds later James and Lily reentered the room. Remus was just crawling under the covers, and Sirius threw his clothes on top of his trunk before proceeding to do the same. James and Lily stole one last kiss before she headed for her own dormitory.
Remus awoke and looked frantically for a clock. He was sure that it was past midnight, and he needed to meet Sirius in the empty classroom. Sliding noiselessly out of bed, he saw that the bed next to his, Sirius's bed, was empty. With a soft sigh, he hurried to get dressed, and went to get James's Invisibility Cloak. It was already gone. That meant that Sirius was definitely waiting for him. Hurrying now, Remus left the dormitory, closing the door softly behind him, and went out the portrait hole. Anxiety got the best of him here and he nearly ran to the empty classroom, praying that Sirius was already there.
But when he closed the door behind himself, he looked around and saw no one. Dejected, he sat down on a desk and shoved his hair out of his eyes. A few minutes passed in silence. "Maybe he forgot," Remus proposed aloud.
"Or maybe he's behind you," said another voice.
Remus had to clutch the edges of the desk to keep from falling off. He turned around and saw Sirius sitting behind him, laughing as he folded the Invisibility Cloak neatly. He put it aside, on one of the other desks, looking grave once more. "Why did you ask me to meet you here?" Remus asked.
"You have a one-track mind," Sirius murmured, drawing Remus to him and kissing him deeply, slowly sliding his tongue into the werewolf's mouth. Remus heard a tiny moan escape him, and he pressed closer to Sirius.
He jerked back almost as quickly, looking shocked. "Sirius," he said cautiously.
"What?" demanded Sirius. He took Remus by the wrist and pulled him back. Once Remus was in his arms again, Sirius began where he had left off. They moved slowly from their space between the desks, so that Remus's back was against the wall. Sirius ground himself closer, so close that Remus felt dizzy. He no longer had air to himself. He was completely trapped. It was starting to scare him. For that matter, so was Sirius. It was agonizingly obvious that Sirius was aroused, and he was making it even more so by pressing his erection against Remus's waist. Pinned to the wall, crushed by Sirius, Remus could hardly move. He felt Sirius's questing hands gripping his waist, too close for comfort. Sirius was reaching up, starting to unfasten Remus's robes, fumbling slightly, agonizingly close as he thrust his lower half harder against the shorter boy.
Remus would not let Sirius finish unfastening his robes. He shoved Sirius away, frightened, but angry. "What do you think you're doing?" he snapped. "I've told you before, Sirius, I'll let you know when I'm ready!"
"Yeah," said Sirius with a dismissive shrug. He reached for Remus again, but the brunet dodged, his eyes flaming with rage.
"Just because you have a hard on doesn't mean that I'm going to spread my legs and let you have your way, Sirius," Remus growled. "And I specifically said that I didn't want to go this far. I told you that I didn't want to have sex with you, and you're not listening!"
"Bloody hell, Remus, we weren't having sex," Sirius said, as calmly as he could.
"You were feeling me up, and it was pretty obvious what you wanted," Remus hissed.
"You've been sending some pretty mixed messages," snarled Sirius, giving up the calm façade in an instant. "Sure, you'll take it as far as you want to when you're on top, but when I try anything, you throw a fit and throw my record back in my face! Well, I told you I didn't like it with those girls. I love you, Remus. Why the hell can't you stop being such a fucking prude? I never hurt you. I never did anything to you that qualifies as abuse. I never forced you to do anything that you didn't want to do."
"Leave me the hell alone, Sirius. I'm sick of your excuses, and I'm sick of you trying to subdue me. When I want to have sex with you, that is to say, when I'm ready, you'll know. I won't hide it from you."
"Save it," Sirius retorted. "I don't want to hear it anymore, Remus. I'm tired of your games. Maybe I don't care as much as I thought I did. It's over. You can mess around with someone else, lead some other unlucky bastard on, because I'm not going to play your fucked up little games anymore." He seemed ready to hit Remus, but the seemingly frail werewolf was one up on him.
Remus rose his fist and caught Sirius under the jaw, right in the spot where he had previously punched James – he knew that it was painful from that past experience. This time, however, the recipient was coughing up blood as he struggled to get up. Remus kicked Sirius back down on the floor and held him there with one foot. "I told James that you wouldn't hurt me," he said, through the tears that were now streaming down his face. "I hit him to make him stop insulting you. I really believed that you weren't the worthless, constantly horny bastard that you are. I really believed that you cared about me for more than sex. And you know what, Sirius?" He pressed his foot down harder for emphasis. "I was wrong! You fucked up too badly this time. You tricked me, but you won't ever do it again!" He grabbed the Invisibility Cloak and ran from the classroom, leaving Sirius on the floor, the hand at his lips stained with red.
"What the hell did I do?" he asked the empty room. "What's wrong with me?"
The stone walls provided him with no comforting words, nor with an answer.
Remus ran into the dormitory and put the Invisibility Cloak back in James's trunk. He threw himself back on his bed. Turning over on his stomach, he pressed his face heavily into the pillow. Perhaps if he stayed like this long enough, he would suffocate. Death wasn't the answer, but to be gone – to be absolute nothingness – was tantalizing. Remus, however, knew better. He turned over on his back and saw James sitting on his bed, looking down at him, worry etched onto his face.
"What happened, Moony?" he asked, opening his arms.
Remus fell willingly into the embrace, putting his own arms around James's neck, burying his face in his best friend's shoulder. It wasn't the same as a loving embrace, the kind to be shared only with one person, but it would do. "He was feeling me up," Remus began, "but then he got too close – he tried to undress me – and I got scared. I pushed him off. We argued about our relationship; I hit him a couple times, and came back here."
James breathed in sharply, tightening his hold around Remus. "Don't worry about him," he whispered soothingly. "And don't live your life around him. He isn't worth it. The bastard went too far, and he probably knows it. He hurt you, Moony. He had no right to do that to you."
Remus sighed, moving closer to James. "Thanks, Prongs," he murmured.
"Anytime, anything. I'll be there for you, Moony."
"It's nice to have someone who feels that way," Remus said, starting to cry again.
James shushed him and pulled Remus closer, holding him until the werewolf finally began to relax. Once he fell asleep, James started to slide away. He placed Remus under the covers and was just crawling back into his bed when he saw Sirius standing in the doorway. A thin trail of blood was running over his jaw, and he had a darkening bruise on the underside of his jaw. Tears were coursing from his eyes, mingling with the blood as they dribbled off his chin. "I've been a bastard and a prick, Prongs," he murmured, falling to his knees at the side of James's bed.
"You never spoke a truer word," said James. He patted the bed next to him and Sirius leapt up gratefully. "So, what's your version of events?"
Sirius sighed and tried in vain to stop the tears from flowing down his cheeks. "I felt him up, and I was starting to unfasten his robes when he pushed me off. He was scared, and for good reason. I was coming on too strong. What can I say? I wanted him, and nothing was going to stop me. But he did. He punched me in the jaw, kicked me down and held me there while he threw insults at me. Then he ran away from me. I lost him, Prongs, and just because I was too stupid to see that he meant it. He wasn't ready. I was, don't get me wrong, I would have taken him then and there, but he didn't feel the same way, and I practically forced it on him…" Sirius shuddered. "I can't let him know now, of course…he'd never give me any peace. He doesn't love me anymore, after what I did, and who could blame him?"
Remus, supposedly asleep in his bed, opened his eyes.
A/N: Phew! I'm glad that's over with. I hate making them fight, but there are added benefits, such as torturing Sirius and making him repent, which brings them closer in the end (I hope). Don't hate my Sirius; he's just a lustful teenager. For that matter, this is getting closer to the part many of you are eagerly awaiting: the moment when Sirius gets his way at last, also known as the dirtiest part of the story. But that isn't here yet. And there are other important things to discuss, such as my beloved and faithful reviewers! Especially QueenSmithy – she rocks! Check out her story (way better than mine), called "Definition of a Wolf." She's brilliant. No, she's not paying me. I just like her work and I love her for reviewing for me. Anyway, methinks that's about it. I love all my reviewers!!! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!