CHAPTER 2 - THE TALK (PART 1)
"Hey," said Sydney quietly, hoping that her slight nerves weren't showing through. "I wanted to talk to you about something." she paused, waiting for a response or at least a greeting, but all she got was a look in her mother's eyes that urged her to continue. "You've helped us a lot - dad, Vaughn, me," she stressed the last word and looked up to see Irina's reaction to the statement, particularly the mention of Vaughn's name - her mom was listening intently but didn't show a great reaction. Sydney continued, "And after what you said, on the roof..I guess I just..well I wanted you.I need to tell.." Sydney struggled for the right words, silently cursing herself for not preparing a speech and cursing her usually fantastic way with words for giving up on her. Irina watched as her daughter stuttered out the words, as if she were trying on each phrase to see if it fit and then deciding half way through that it didn't. She wished she could tell Syd that she understood, that she need not explain (she had a good idea of what her daughter was trying to tell her) but instead, she decided to let Sydney tell her herself, in her own way.
Finally after a pause to sort out her thoughts and match them up to suitable words, Syd blurted out in a hurry, " I guess I just want you to know that I trust you - maybe that isn't too wise considering your past.." - Irina winced at the mention of her life away from Syd - "..but I do and that although I can't forgive the life that you have led for the past couple of decades, I think I understand why you had to leave in the first place and why you shot me in Taipei and for that, I forgive you." Her hurried confession had left all Sydney's careful words slurred and she ran back over her mini speech, her mind checking whether it made even vague sense. She glanced up at Irina, searching for an answer and saw a few stray tears, which her mother's eyes had failed to keep hold of, cascading down her tanned face and cheeks. She felt sorry for Irina but knew that she couldn't even begin to understand what her life must have been like. She was glad though, that at least now, Irina was making up for it and now she knew Sydney's true feelings towards her.
"I love you, mom," Sydney added, almost as an afterthought and instantly regretted telling her mother something of that magnitude and emotional importance - she cursed herself, these things had to be planned out and Syd wasn't sure if now was the right time to be getting all mushy with a woman who she didn't really know that well at all. "At least now I've said it," she reasoned in her mind.
Not expecting an answer, Sydney was surprised to say the least when Irina whispered, a hint of sadness and regret for the past in her voice, "I love you too Sydney, I always have," the last part, so quiet that even Sydney doubted if she had heard right. She then watched, rebel tears fighting their way out of her tear ducts and down her own cheeks, as Irina placed a slightly wrinkled hand onto the glass. Without thinking about it, Sydney realised that her own hand was making its way up to the glass, to match with her mothers. They stood there for a second, contemplating what had just happened, both visibly overwhelmed by the very sudden expression of emotion which neither were used to.
After a few comfortably silent moments, Syd realised she needed to go and mull over the situation. She quickly took away her hand, forcefully wiped away her tears and stated in a rushed way, "I have to go now." She turned to leave but stopped when Irina shouted, "Wait! I wanted to talk to you about something!" Syd obediently returned to where she had been standing before and waited patiently for the impending question, wondering what or who it could concern.
"Hey," said Sydney quietly, hoping that her slight nerves weren't showing through. "I wanted to talk to you about something." she paused, waiting for a response or at least a greeting, but all she got was a look in her mother's eyes that urged her to continue. "You've helped us a lot - dad, Vaughn, me," she stressed the last word and looked up to see Irina's reaction to the statement, particularly the mention of Vaughn's name - her mom was listening intently but didn't show a great reaction. Sydney continued, "And after what you said, on the roof..I guess I just..well I wanted you.I need to tell.." Sydney struggled for the right words, silently cursing herself for not preparing a speech and cursing her usually fantastic way with words for giving up on her. Irina watched as her daughter stuttered out the words, as if she were trying on each phrase to see if it fit and then deciding half way through that it didn't. She wished she could tell Syd that she understood, that she need not explain (she had a good idea of what her daughter was trying to tell her) but instead, she decided to let Sydney tell her herself, in her own way.
Finally after a pause to sort out her thoughts and match them up to suitable words, Syd blurted out in a hurry, " I guess I just want you to know that I trust you - maybe that isn't too wise considering your past.." - Irina winced at the mention of her life away from Syd - "..but I do and that although I can't forgive the life that you have led for the past couple of decades, I think I understand why you had to leave in the first place and why you shot me in Taipei and for that, I forgive you." Her hurried confession had left all Sydney's careful words slurred and she ran back over her mini speech, her mind checking whether it made even vague sense. She glanced up at Irina, searching for an answer and saw a few stray tears, which her mother's eyes had failed to keep hold of, cascading down her tanned face and cheeks. She felt sorry for Irina but knew that she couldn't even begin to understand what her life must have been like. She was glad though, that at least now, Irina was making up for it and now she knew Sydney's true feelings towards her.
"I love you, mom," Sydney added, almost as an afterthought and instantly regretted telling her mother something of that magnitude and emotional importance - she cursed herself, these things had to be planned out and Syd wasn't sure if now was the right time to be getting all mushy with a woman who she didn't really know that well at all. "At least now I've said it," she reasoned in her mind.
Not expecting an answer, Sydney was surprised to say the least when Irina whispered, a hint of sadness and regret for the past in her voice, "I love you too Sydney, I always have," the last part, so quiet that even Sydney doubted if she had heard right. She then watched, rebel tears fighting their way out of her tear ducts and down her own cheeks, as Irina placed a slightly wrinkled hand onto the glass. Without thinking about it, Sydney realised that her own hand was making its way up to the glass, to match with her mothers. They stood there for a second, contemplating what had just happened, both visibly overwhelmed by the very sudden expression of emotion which neither were used to.
After a few comfortably silent moments, Syd realised she needed to go and mull over the situation. She quickly took away her hand, forcefully wiped away her tears and stated in a rushed way, "I have to go now." She turned to leave but stopped when Irina shouted, "Wait! I wanted to talk to you about something!" Syd obediently returned to where she had been standing before and waited patiently for the impending question, wondering what or who it could concern.