DISCLAIMER: If my first two disclaimers didn't work for you and you STILL think I own something, you are mistaken. I OWN NOTHING! The setting, the characters, they all belong to J.K. Rowling. Now, get on with the story and DON'T SUE ME!
Okay, because my friend Rini Blackwood will kill me if I don't write another chapter (and because of all the requests) I'm forced to write it. Plus, I just realized that my plot, as crazy as it is, needs an ending.
(Well, once the scandal in the Great Hall had somewhat quieted down, Voldemort, Snape, and Harry were called down to Dumbledore's office.)
Dumbledore: Well, we have quite a big problem here, don't we?
(Harry looks at Snape hatefully and Snape-that-now-looks-like-Harry hangs his head. Voldemort looks anxious.)
Voldemort: You won't make me leave, will you, Headmaster?
Dumbledore: No, no, Voldy. You can stay. You shall be lodged in the dungeons.
Harry and Snape: DUNGEONS?
Dumbledore (giving them a silencing look): Yes. Dungeons. Well, you may go now, Voldy.
(Voldemort's face lights up with quiet joy and a tear rolls down his face.)
Voldemort: Thank you, Headmaster! (sniff) I'm gonna have the most fun ever! And in the morning, I'm making waffles!
(He walks out sniffling after hugging Dumbledore. Dumbledore then turns to face Harry and Snape.)
Dumbledore: As for the two of you, I don't even know what to do. I am afraid that the delicate minds of our students were scarred by the transformation they were forced to witness.
Harry (looking like Snape): THEIR minds were scarred? What about MY mind? How do you think I feel, having to…
Dumbledore: Well, we might be able to fix that. Professor Snape, how long is your potion active for?
Snape: Well… I never quite figured that out .I'm sure it's less than a year…
Harry: A YEAR?! I have to stay like this for A WHOLE YEAR??
Snape: Well…
Dumbledore: Is there an antidote for this potion?
Snape: Well…
Harry: I HATE YOU!
Dumbledore: Now, now, let's not be so harsh, Harry. There is no point in arguing right now. What we have to do is think of the future. Now, even though this is a tremendous scandal already, we should try to stop it from spreading any further. To do that, we will put memory charms on all the students who were in the Great Hall at the time or heard anything about what happened. To prevent any suspicions after that, Harry will have to teach potions class and you, Professor, will play Quidditch.
Snape and Harry: But HOW?
Dumbledore: Well, Professor Snape will have to prepare exact lesson plans in the morning. As for Quidditch… I'm sure he'll manage.
Harry (groans): Gryffindor will never see a victory again.
Snape (wickedly): I'm sure it won't.
Dumbledore: Well, I'll let the two of you go now to resolve this between yourselves. (the two walk out)
(They walk in silence to the dungeons. When they get there, they sit down to talk.)
Harry: Okay. Now that you put both of us into this awful situation, I guess we'll have to deal with it. First, about you. If you purposely mess up my Quidditch games, I will mess up Potions class too.
Snape: Ha ha ha! What can YOU do?
Harry: I'll… I know! I'll jump around class smiling and handing out candy! Like this. (He demonstrates, as Snape watches, horrified.) Candy! Candy for all on this festive day! Pink bunnies! Rainbows! Isn't this a happy day! Rejoice! Party! No homework!
Snape: Okay! Enough! Please stop! (Harry stops)
Harry: Good. Also, every night you will have to sneak out and go to the Quidditch field to see the Snitch.
Snape: The Snitch?
Harry: Yup. The Golden Snitch. You release her from her box…
Snape: Oh, God.
Harry: I swear, if you mess anything up…
Snape (gulps): Okay, okay. Now I have to tell YOU something. You see…
(Suddenly Malfoy appears. He walks over to Harry.)
Malfoy (To Harry): Weren't expecting me, were you, Professor?
Harry: Err… what do you want, Malfoy?
Malfoy: Oh, come, Severus. We are on first terms now.
(In the corner, the real Snape lets out a faint squeak. Malfoy turns sharply, noticing him.)
Malfoy (to Snape): And what are YOU doing here, Potter?
Snape: I… I have detention.
Malfoy (sharply): A little too early for detention. (To Harry): What is the meaning of this, Severus?
Harry (puzzled at Malfoy's behavior): Well… we… err… we were…
Malfoy: So this is it? You have betrayed me, haven't you, Severus?
(Harry gulps, finally starting to understand what is going on and looks at Snape in shock.)
Snape: I can explain! We…
Malfoy: You shut your mouth, Potter! (turns to Harry): As for you, Professor (emphasizing the word "Professor"), you've got yourself an enemy.
(Snape lets out another terrified squeak from the corner. Malfoy glares at him before walking out.)
Harry (to Snape): What the…
Snape: That's what I was about to tell you.
Harry: You and Malfoy…?
Snape (savagely): It's better than the Snitch!
Harry: Oh don't you start about the Snitch!
Snape: Well, you messed things up between me and Malfoy, so I'll mess things up between you and the Snitch!
Harry: No you won't!
Snape (evilly): Oh yes I will!
Harry (wildly): Candy! Candy for all!
Snape (clutches his ears and rocks back and forth): No! Spare me! Spare me!
(Harry stops)
Harry: Good. Now, you should go to the dormitory, or else you'll get in trouble for being out of bed at night, remember?
Snape: yes… Yes that's right. I'm going.
Harry: Don't forget to prepare lesson plans for me in the morning.
Snape: All right. I will (He leaves).
(Alone, Harry goes over the horrible day in his mind and sighs. He is suddenly sad. Never again would he be able to see his friends again. Hermione… Ron… Neville… the Snitch… He thinks about Quidditch and decides Gryffindor will never win again. He thinks about the events of the whole day, and a tear rolls down his cheek. He thinks about all the good times he spent with his friends, remembers their smiling faces… Not able to hold out any longer he buries his head in his hands and cries. His hair falls on his fingers… HIS hair? Oh, of course not. Professor Snape's hair. Ugh.)
Harry: Well, at least I will wash my hair every day now that I have to be him.
(Suddenly, Hagrid walks in. Harry jumps up happily.)
Harry: Hagrid! Oh my gosh, Hagrid! I'm so glad to see you! I've had the worst day of my life! (He runs to Hagrid and hugs him.)
Hagrid (after they hug): Professor… I never thought this day would come! (Harry looks confused, as Hagrid gets on one knee and pulls out a ring.) But come it did! Will you marry me, Severus?
Harry: Err…
Hagrid: Please?
Harry (gets hold of himself): No, no, Hagrid. Not today. I'm not ready for commitment, you see… But I will always love you as a friend.
(Hagrid gets up, disappointed and puts away his ring. After a second, his face suddenly brightens.)
Hagrid: Oh well. Never hurts to try. Now on to Harry. (The real Harry cringes.) What?
Harry: Well, Hagrid you see… um… (suddenly gets an idea): you see, the legal age of consent…
Hagrid (very disappointed): oh. Well, I'll have to wait a couple years then. Anyway, the reason I came here in the first place was that Dumbledore told me to tell you that there WILL be classes tomorrow and a Quidditch game the day after.
Harry: A Quidditch game?
Hagrid: Yes… Is there a problem?
Harry (pale): No… No, there is no problem. Who is playing?
Hagrid: Gryffindor vs. Slytherin of course!
Harry (More pale): Oh… okay… you may go now, Hagrid. (Hagrid leaves.)
Harry: What did I do to deserve this? (sighing he goes to bed.)
………………………………………
(The next day, Harry wakes up in his bed. Hardly opening his eyes, not quite realizing what he's doing, he goes to the bathroom. There, he quickly splashes cold water on his face, trying to wake up. Suddenly…)
Mirror (flirting): Hey, Professor…
Harry (puzzled): Professor?
Mirror (giggling): Of course… that's what you are… unless you'd rather me call you Severus…
(Harry finally opens his eyes in order to glare at the mirror. He looks up, sees his reflection and runs out of the room, shrieking.)
Harry (sits on the bed, panting): Oh, God, I forgot. This will take a while to get used to.
A/N: There WILL be another (last) chapter posted up in a little while. I hope all of you are happy. Poor, poor characters. I have to put them through more torture. Oh well. Next chapter, see what happens at the potions class and the Quidditch game. Also, find out the end to our wonderful, wonderful Mary Sue story. By the way, Mary Sue will be back in the story the next chapter. Okay, I'll stop babbling now, and get to writing the fourth chapter. Don't leave me! Please wait for it! ~Genevieve.