It was her eighth month and, as she stood sideways in front of the mirror, Evelyn bemoaned the fact that she had tripled in size. Her tummy seemed to protrude for miles, she thought as she rubbed over the colossal oval mass that was her baby. And her backside. Her backside was of enormous proportions and Evelyn wondered if she would ever get back into her clothes. Her feet were swollen and she could not wear any of her shoes and had to buy a pair of soft, flexible moccasins. Even her fingers were fat. She could no longer wear her wedding band and had to put it on a chain and wear it around her neck.
And to top all that, it was hot. Extremely hot. Rick had installed ventilators in every room and she always had a hand fan and a glass of ice-cold lemonade near. But that did not seem to help. She always felt hot, sweaty and sticky.
Evelyn blew out a heavy breath and looked at her reflection once more before going to take a nice cool spray bath.
**********************************
Waddling.
That was the best way Rick could describe Evelyn. She waddled from the counter to the icebox and back to the counter, he thought as he stood in the kitchen doorway watching her. She was moving slower than normal and it looked as if each step took great effort.
"Hey hon" Rick said as he walked toward her. "Let me cook breakfast this morning."
"YOU cook breakfast?" Evelyn laughed as he kissed her cheek.
Rick's cooking was edible but bland, very bland and she was starving. Only a nice, huge tasty breakfast would satisfy her this morning.
"Yeah" he said as he tried to steer her to the kitchen table.
"I'm hungry Rick."
"I'll crack some eggs..."
"Very hungry" Evelyn said. "And... no offense honey, but I want a good breakfast this morning. And I'd like something more than just eggs."
"Well, tell you what. You sit" he said as he pulled out the kitchen table chair. "Sit" he instrusted her. "And" he continued when she sat down. "You tell me what to do and I'll do it."
Rick proved to be a pretty good cook when told exactly what to do and he and Evelyn shared a nice, filling breakfast.
"Maybe you should stay home today" Rick said as he cleared the table.
"Why?" Evelyn asked.
"I don't know" he said, not wanting to tell her that she was waddling around like a duck. "You look tired."
"I'm feel fine."
"You sure?"
"Positive"
For the next three weeks, Evelyn and Rick had the same conversation. He would suggest she stay home. She would ask why. He would say she looked tired. She would say she was fine. He would ask if she were sure. She would answer she was positive.
**********************************
One morning, a week before the baby was due, Rick had come from the bathroom back into the bedroom to find Evelyn sitting on the side of the bed looking at herself in the mirror. She had told him before he went to the bathroom that she was going downstairs to cook breakfast.
"I thought you were going to cook breakfast" he said innocently.
"Is that all you care about?! FOOD!" Evelyn snapped at him.
"What's the matter?" he noticed Evelyn was crying and walked over and sat down next to her. "Are you ok?" he automatically asked as he laid his hand on her stomach.
"I'M A HUGE WHALE!" she cried. "A BIG FAT COW!" she sobbed.
"You aren't that huge" Rick said before thinking.
Evelyn cried harder.
"You aren't huge at all sweetheart" he said, trying to cover his mammoth blunder as he rubbed her stomach.
"Now you're lying!" Evelyn accused. "I am huge!" she lamented.
"Sweetheart..." Rick said, trying to choose his words carefully. "It's ok if you're a little... if you've expanded a bit. I don't mind. Really. After all" he said in a reasonable voice. "you ARE pregnant."
"DON'T you think I know that!" she cried as she glared at him through her tears.
"Of course you know that" Rick readily agreed.
"Look at me" Evelyn moaned as she returned her gaze to the mirror and pushed herself up from the bed and stood. "I've never in all my life seen anybody as fat as I am!!" she lamented as her tears continued.
"You're not fat, honey" Rick stood up and looked at her reflection in the mirror.
"Yes I am!" she insisted.
"No you're not. You're just... just... you're just a little plump" Rick chuckled as he tried teasing her tears away.
"It is not funny!" Evelyn turned to him and frowned. "It's all your fault anyway!"
"What did I do?" Rick asked as he continued to chuckle.
"If you weren't so... so... so demanding" she said as she waddled away from him. "I wouldn't be..." she said as she renewed her crying. "I wouldn't be a fat cow!"
Evelyn's statement was too funny for Rick to hold back anymore. It was also the straw that broke the camel's back. He burst out in merry laugher.
At the sound of such merriment, Evelyn whipped back around as fast as she could.
"IT IS NOT FUNNY!!" she screamed and stomped her swollen foot.
Rick did not agree and continued to laugh. Evelyn waddled back over to the bed, grabbed a pillow and swung at her laughing husband. She hit him dead in his face and Rick fell back on the bed as he continued to laugh. Evelyn moved to the side of the bed in order to reach his face and resumed her attack.
"IT" hit in the face.
"IS" hit in the face.
"NOT" hit in the face.
"FUNNY!!" hit, hit, hit, hit...
Rick continued to laugh and Evelyn continued to hit. He put up his arms to try and fend off her attack as he continued to laugh at her. When Evelyn got tired of hitting Rick, she threw the pillow at his head and waddled toward the door.
"Evy" Rick called to her with laughter in his voice and laughing tears in his eyes.
"Don't talk to me" she bit out viciously as she waddled out of the door.
"Evy" Rick called to her again.
Evelyn ignored him and walked out the room. Rick hopped up off the bed and followed after her.
"Evy... honey... come on" he said when he reached the door and saw she was headed to the bathroom. "Don't be mad at me" he said, mirth still in his voice.
Evelyn continued to ignore him as she waddled as fast as she could to the bathroom. After slamming the door, she locked it and began to pace.
Here she was as big as a house and feeling bloated and very unattractive. Not to mention feeling tired because she had not been able to get a good night's sleep for the last couple of days. The baby had decided to play 'kick mum' all night long and Evelyn could not find a comfortable position or the rest she desperately needed.
And with all she was going through, he had the nerve to laugh. He was the cause of her current problems. It was HIS child she was carrying. It was HIS child that added a ton of weight her tiny frame. It was HIS child that distorted her body beyond recognition. It was HIS child that was kicking her in the ribs and keeping her up all night long. It was HIS child. And he had the gall to laugh! To laugh at her.
The pig!
KNOCK KNOCK
"Evy" he said.
"Pig!" Evelyn mumbled as she continued to waddle back and forth.
"Evy, open up."
Silence.
"Don't be mad honey. It's just that were you're so cute when you called me demanding."
Silence.
"I wasn't laughing AT you. I was laughing WITH you."
Silence.
"I miss you already."
Silence.
"I love you."
Silence.
"What's it gonna take for you to come out and talk to me?"
Silence.
"Alright. I give up. You win."
'The pig' Evelyn thought as she heard him walk away. Didn't he know he was suppose to stand there and beg, no matter how long it took, until she opened the door?
Evelyn stayed locked in the bathroom for several more minutes before her stomach reminded her it was breakfast time. When Evelyn opened the door, Rick was standing in the doorway, his arms folded across his chest, with a smile on his face.
"Pardon me ma'am" Rick said cheerfully. "I'm looking for the most beautiful woman this world's ever seen. You wouldn't happen to know where I could find her, would you? Wait a minute" he said. "Would you mind smiling for me?" he said but Evelyn frowned instead. "You know" he said thoughtfully. "You look a lot like her. Would you happen to be the woman I'm looking for?" he said in a slightly enticing voice as he leaned against the doorframe.
"Excuse me" Evelyn said curtly, weakening under his seductive stare.
"After you beautiful" Rick said as he stepped aside to let her pass. "Pardon me again ma'am" Rick said as he followed her back to the bedroom. "Has anyone ever told you just how beautiful you are?"
Evelyn smiled inwardly put kept waddling.
"I'm sure SOMEBODY has told you" Rick said as he followed Evelyn. "I'm sure your husband has. He'd be a fool if he hadn't."
"He's a fool alright" Evelyn said as she waddled inside the bedroom.
"He's a fool huh?" Rick grinned.
"And a complete idiot" Evelyn said with a slight grin in her voice as she waddled over to her moccasins.
"A fool and a complete idiot huh? He can't be a COMPLETE idiot if he had sense enough to marry you" Rick said sweetly.
His words, spoken so sweetly, spoken so sincerely, caused a warm feeling to spread over Evelyn.
"And" Rick continued. "If he's a fool, I'm sure he's only a fool for you."
This time the smile reached Evelyn's face and she took her time sliding into her moccasins. She needed time to wipe the grin off her face before turning around to face him. When she turned around, Rick had his boyish grin on his face and he looked at her with his heart in his eyes.
It took all Evelyn had not to smile back. When she walked past him, Rick reached out and scooped her up in his arms.
"Put me down" Evelyn protested, thinking he would break his back carry her heavy load.
"You know Evelyn" Rick said thoughtfully. "You're as light as a feather."
What he said and the way he said it threw Evelyn into a fit of laughter.
"You are such a liar!" she guffawed.
"Really you are" he said in a serious voice and started walking toward the door. "Light as a feather."
With that, Rick was back in Evelyn's good graces.
And to top all that, it was hot. Extremely hot. Rick had installed ventilators in every room and she always had a hand fan and a glass of ice-cold lemonade near. But that did not seem to help. She always felt hot, sweaty and sticky.
Evelyn blew out a heavy breath and looked at her reflection once more before going to take a nice cool spray bath.
**********************************
Waddling.
That was the best way Rick could describe Evelyn. She waddled from the counter to the icebox and back to the counter, he thought as he stood in the kitchen doorway watching her. She was moving slower than normal and it looked as if each step took great effort.
"Hey hon" Rick said as he walked toward her. "Let me cook breakfast this morning."
"YOU cook breakfast?" Evelyn laughed as he kissed her cheek.
Rick's cooking was edible but bland, very bland and she was starving. Only a nice, huge tasty breakfast would satisfy her this morning.
"Yeah" he said as he tried to steer her to the kitchen table.
"I'm hungry Rick."
"I'll crack some eggs..."
"Very hungry" Evelyn said. "And... no offense honey, but I want a good breakfast this morning. And I'd like something more than just eggs."
"Well, tell you what. You sit" he said as he pulled out the kitchen table chair. "Sit" he instrusted her. "And" he continued when she sat down. "You tell me what to do and I'll do it."
Rick proved to be a pretty good cook when told exactly what to do and he and Evelyn shared a nice, filling breakfast.
"Maybe you should stay home today" Rick said as he cleared the table.
"Why?" Evelyn asked.
"I don't know" he said, not wanting to tell her that she was waddling around like a duck. "You look tired."
"I'm feel fine."
"You sure?"
"Positive"
For the next three weeks, Evelyn and Rick had the same conversation. He would suggest she stay home. She would ask why. He would say she looked tired. She would say she was fine. He would ask if she were sure. She would answer she was positive.
**********************************
One morning, a week before the baby was due, Rick had come from the bathroom back into the bedroom to find Evelyn sitting on the side of the bed looking at herself in the mirror. She had told him before he went to the bathroom that she was going downstairs to cook breakfast.
"I thought you were going to cook breakfast" he said innocently.
"Is that all you care about?! FOOD!" Evelyn snapped at him.
"What's the matter?" he noticed Evelyn was crying and walked over and sat down next to her. "Are you ok?" he automatically asked as he laid his hand on her stomach.
"I'M A HUGE WHALE!" she cried. "A BIG FAT COW!" she sobbed.
"You aren't that huge" Rick said before thinking.
Evelyn cried harder.
"You aren't huge at all sweetheart" he said, trying to cover his mammoth blunder as he rubbed her stomach.
"Now you're lying!" Evelyn accused. "I am huge!" she lamented.
"Sweetheart..." Rick said, trying to choose his words carefully. "It's ok if you're a little... if you've expanded a bit. I don't mind. Really. After all" he said in a reasonable voice. "you ARE pregnant."
"DON'T you think I know that!" she cried as she glared at him through her tears.
"Of course you know that" Rick readily agreed.
"Look at me" Evelyn moaned as she returned her gaze to the mirror and pushed herself up from the bed and stood. "I've never in all my life seen anybody as fat as I am!!" she lamented as her tears continued.
"You're not fat, honey" Rick stood up and looked at her reflection in the mirror.
"Yes I am!" she insisted.
"No you're not. You're just... just... you're just a little plump" Rick chuckled as he tried teasing her tears away.
"It is not funny!" Evelyn turned to him and frowned. "It's all your fault anyway!"
"What did I do?" Rick asked as he continued to chuckle.
"If you weren't so... so... so demanding" she said as she waddled away from him. "I wouldn't be..." she said as she renewed her crying. "I wouldn't be a fat cow!"
Evelyn's statement was too funny for Rick to hold back anymore. It was also the straw that broke the camel's back. He burst out in merry laugher.
At the sound of such merriment, Evelyn whipped back around as fast as she could.
"IT IS NOT FUNNY!!" she screamed and stomped her swollen foot.
Rick did not agree and continued to laugh. Evelyn waddled back over to the bed, grabbed a pillow and swung at her laughing husband. She hit him dead in his face and Rick fell back on the bed as he continued to laugh. Evelyn moved to the side of the bed in order to reach his face and resumed her attack.
"IT" hit in the face.
"IS" hit in the face.
"NOT" hit in the face.
"FUNNY!!" hit, hit, hit, hit...
Rick continued to laugh and Evelyn continued to hit. He put up his arms to try and fend off her attack as he continued to laugh at her. When Evelyn got tired of hitting Rick, she threw the pillow at his head and waddled toward the door.
"Evy" Rick called to her with laughter in his voice and laughing tears in his eyes.
"Don't talk to me" she bit out viciously as she waddled out of the door.
"Evy" Rick called to her again.
Evelyn ignored him and walked out the room. Rick hopped up off the bed and followed after her.
"Evy... honey... come on" he said when he reached the door and saw she was headed to the bathroom. "Don't be mad at me" he said, mirth still in his voice.
Evelyn continued to ignore him as she waddled as fast as she could to the bathroom. After slamming the door, she locked it and began to pace.
Here she was as big as a house and feeling bloated and very unattractive. Not to mention feeling tired because she had not been able to get a good night's sleep for the last couple of days. The baby had decided to play 'kick mum' all night long and Evelyn could not find a comfortable position or the rest she desperately needed.
And with all she was going through, he had the nerve to laugh. He was the cause of her current problems. It was HIS child she was carrying. It was HIS child that added a ton of weight her tiny frame. It was HIS child that distorted her body beyond recognition. It was HIS child that was kicking her in the ribs and keeping her up all night long. It was HIS child. And he had the gall to laugh! To laugh at her.
The pig!
KNOCK KNOCK
"Evy" he said.
"Pig!" Evelyn mumbled as she continued to waddle back and forth.
"Evy, open up."
Silence.
"Don't be mad honey. It's just that were you're so cute when you called me demanding."
Silence.
"I wasn't laughing AT you. I was laughing WITH you."
Silence.
"I miss you already."
Silence.
"I love you."
Silence.
"What's it gonna take for you to come out and talk to me?"
Silence.
"Alright. I give up. You win."
'The pig' Evelyn thought as she heard him walk away. Didn't he know he was suppose to stand there and beg, no matter how long it took, until she opened the door?
Evelyn stayed locked in the bathroom for several more minutes before her stomach reminded her it was breakfast time. When Evelyn opened the door, Rick was standing in the doorway, his arms folded across his chest, with a smile on his face.
"Pardon me ma'am" Rick said cheerfully. "I'm looking for the most beautiful woman this world's ever seen. You wouldn't happen to know where I could find her, would you? Wait a minute" he said. "Would you mind smiling for me?" he said but Evelyn frowned instead. "You know" he said thoughtfully. "You look a lot like her. Would you happen to be the woman I'm looking for?" he said in a slightly enticing voice as he leaned against the doorframe.
"Excuse me" Evelyn said curtly, weakening under his seductive stare.
"After you beautiful" Rick said as he stepped aside to let her pass. "Pardon me again ma'am" Rick said as he followed her back to the bedroom. "Has anyone ever told you just how beautiful you are?"
Evelyn smiled inwardly put kept waddling.
"I'm sure SOMEBODY has told you" Rick said as he followed Evelyn. "I'm sure your husband has. He'd be a fool if he hadn't."
"He's a fool alright" Evelyn said as she waddled inside the bedroom.
"He's a fool huh?" Rick grinned.
"And a complete idiot" Evelyn said with a slight grin in her voice as she waddled over to her moccasins.
"A fool and a complete idiot huh? He can't be a COMPLETE idiot if he had sense enough to marry you" Rick said sweetly.
His words, spoken so sweetly, spoken so sincerely, caused a warm feeling to spread over Evelyn.
"And" Rick continued. "If he's a fool, I'm sure he's only a fool for you."
This time the smile reached Evelyn's face and she took her time sliding into her moccasins. She needed time to wipe the grin off her face before turning around to face him. When she turned around, Rick had his boyish grin on his face and he looked at her with his heart in his eyes.
It took all Evelyn had not to smile back. When she walked past him, Rick reached out and scooped her up in his arms.
"Put me down" Evelyn protested, thinking he would break his back carry her heavy load.
"You know Evelyn" Rick said thoughtfully. "You're as light as a feather."
What he said and the way he said it threw Evelyn into a fit of laughter.
"You are such a liar!" she guffawed.
"Really you are" he said in a serious voice and started walking toward the door. "Light as a feather."
With that, Rick was back in Evelyn's good graces.