Tale of the Homophobic Vegetable
It was any normal day; Vegeta was training 24/7 in the Gravity capsule for the upcoming 26th Tenkaichi Budoukai Tournament.
Vegeta smirked as a he blasted a robot that had snuck up behind him with a ki blast. This time he would beat Karakott and show him what this Say-in prince was made of. The golden flames around him flared brighter and the lightning surges around him sparked stronger.. the former Say-in prince charged up his ki for another attack, careful not to summon too much power in case he blew up the Gravity Room..
"KABOOM!".. a comical star shaped appeared engulfing the whole Gravity Room to rubble. A slightly scratched hand stretched out from the remains and clawed its way to the surface. A few awkward moments later Vegeta submerged ashen faced.
"WOMAN! GET THIS PIECE OF JUNK FIXED!!" he roared.
A pretty blue-haired woman and a short little boy with cute lavender hair came out of the Capsule Corp building.
"Vegeta! Damn it. You totally blasted the Gravity Room again. It's gonna take me weeks to reconstruct.. I've had it! Fix it yourself - I'm too busy with all this paper work!" Bulma stormed back into the house scowling.
"W-woman! How dare-"
"And yeah, dad?" Trunks, the little lavender head boy looked up to his father.
"What is it brat?" Vegeta glared at Trunks looking murderous.
"Shut-up okay? Coz I'm trying to watch T.V." Trunks walked back into the house.
Vegeta followed his son inside the house to the living room.
"Don't tell me to shut-up boy - why are you watching T.V.? I'm taking you to train for the tournament.." Vegeta looked at the really weird sight before him. His Say-in little brat was prancing around on tipsy toes in front of the T.V., which was showing a freaky purple little creature, which resembled a deranged teddy bear jumping up and down while singing in an annoying squeaky voice.
"What is this rubbish?!" Vegeta's short muscly neck reddening at the thought of his son, a descendant of a Say-in empire getting all gay and happy.
"It's the teletubbies!" Trunks happy face glowed brilliantly as he did a little twirl in the mid-air.
"I demand you never watch this shit again, as for these teletubbies - they shall be terminated." As Vegeta spoke a strange glow erupted from their 56inch television. "What the-"
Three colorful figures stepped out of the television and began their much hated trademark song with a dance to match.
"We're the Teletubbies, Teletubbies. Dipsy, La La, Winky.. Po-" The three bear-like creatures stopped in a mid twirl as Trunks interrupted them.
"Where's Po? Where's Po?"
"Sorry Trunks, Po was killed by Sailor Venus yesterday." La La chirped and a little movie clip appeared on her stomach. It showed a blonde girl in a blue sailor outfit showering a short Teletubbie with yellow stars. The little Teletubbie choked as a result and fell to the ground.
"I want Po! I want Po!!" Trunks fell to the ground too and started throwing a tantrum with sharp bursts of screaming included every five seconds, apparently furious his favourite teletubbie was not present.
"That's why we're here, to find a replacement for Po." Dipsy smiled sweetly at Vegeta, eyelashes batting innocently.
"We thought you would be the perfect addition to our team.." Winky took one of his great furry arms and linked arms with Vegeta.
"Dad? A teletubbie?" Trunks had stopped screaming and that famous cheeky grin slowly spread across his face. "Man, I, I gotta tell Goten!" Trunks got up from the floor and raced out of the room to call his best friend.
"Don't leave me-" Vegeta's usual strong confident voice was now reduced to a high scratchy squeak.
The three Teletubbies huddled around the Say-in.
"Co'mon, give your new pal a sloppy whossy kiss.." La La swooped in for the kill.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Vegeta ki rose and his hair turned golden, his black eyes a vibrant emerald. He turned Super Say-in 1, the 2 and finally 3. The three Teletubbies were blasted away several metres. "You won't get away with infesting the planet with your evil gay antics!"
Vegeta's eyes flashed with fury and shot a ki blast towards Winky's head. But Winky immediately jumped up with his head in his arms. The freaky thing with its head in his furry little arms all smiles and twinkling eyes was skipping happily back towards Vegeta - DO YOU KNOW HOW FREAKY THAT IS?!!
..anyways back to this furiously freaky lil fanfic.
Vegeta, mildy furious he hadn't even been able to place a scratch on the teletubbie was about to pop like some kind of bubblegum on fire, but suddenly we did hear a faint pop - Goku had teleported to the scene of the battlefield with his highly unique instant transmission technique he had learnt off some pink dwarf aliens on a faraway planet.
"Wassup Vegetable-Head? Goten told me the Teletubbies were in town.." Goku's extremely intelligent eyes swept over the headless Teletubbie, Vegeta the flaming bubblegum about to burst and the two other Teletubbies playing tag in the background, their girlish giggles echoing eerily.
"Karakrott, these creatures wish to dominate the world with gay fighting techniques and noises -"
"Lemme see your moves La La," Goku sat on the floor to watch La La demonstrate her butterfly technique on Dipsy which consisted of making ga ga sounds, blowing kisses and star jumps. Dipsy fell to the ground after turning a nasty green colour.
"KARAKROTT ARE YOU GOING TO LET THESE INSANELY ABNORMAL CREATURES BRAINWASH YOU TO NOTHING BUT AN EMPTY SHELL SPREADING LOVE AND JOY?!" Vegeta's face grew even redder than before and it looked like the veins on his forehead were about to burst.
"Actually Vegeta, I thought the Teletubbies would make an excellent addition to the Z fighters. That's why I popped over. Their unusual fighting techniques remind me of the way the Ginyu force fought on planet Namek.." Goku's face was thougtful. As if on cue, La La flashed her T.V. stomach so it showed a clip of the Ginyu force doing one of their famous fighting stances.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Vegeta screamed for the second time in this story. He opened his eyes. He was in his bedroom all sweaty. It was only a dream.. and next to him would be his mate, Bulma.. Vegeta rubbed his eyes. Next to him was a Teletubbie in a silky black camisole. The creature beside him opened her eyes.
"Vegeta-poo aren't you tired. You must be after you-know all that fooling around we did.." The Teletubbie smiled mischieviously, her smile growing every second. "Sshh, you'll wake the baby," She patted the bulge under her black nightgown.
Vegeta slowly reached over to his other arm and pinched it. He felt the sharp pain that a pinch could do..
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
***
First fic! Ahh.. I've never written humour before, wait I haven't written much at all. This story was pretty much pointless. Probably been done before. Review and flame this stupid writer!
misery_666@hotmail.com