5:30PM – 5:40PM
INT. HENRY'S OFFICE – 5:30PM
Henry is sitting at his desk, reading a copy of "The Army Commander's Guide to Sex and Reproduction". He puts the book down and writes something on a piece of paper. He picks another book up, "The Army Commander's Guide to Lectures and Speeches", and reads some more. He stands and clears his throat.
HENRY
This month's lecture is about sex and reproduction. (he looks at the Guide to Lectures and Speeches. Reading:) Be clear, calm and assertive. Make your point easily and don't let your nervousness show. If you feel nervous, try opening with a joke.
He takes a deep breath and puts the book down. He takes the piece of paper and begins reading.
HENRY
(unusually confident)
This month's lecture is about sex and reproduction. If any of you nurses are unsure of how reproduction works, I'd be more than happy to demonstrate!
He begins chuckling. It quickly dies out as he realises how distasteful that was. His confidence goes out the window. He grabs a pen and scratches that off the paper. He thinks for a moment and writes something else down.
HENRY
(nervously)
This month's lecture is about sex and reproduction. (takes a quick glance at the paper) Sex is one of life's most natural occurrences. Much like going to—
He cuts himself off, realising that's worse. He scratches that off the paper, too.
HENRY
Forget the joke.
He writes something else down. Seemingly satisfied, he starts again.
HENRY
(semi-confident)
This month's lecture is about sex and reproduction. Sex is one of life's most natural occurrences, as you all know. (improvising) There isn't much I can tell that you don't already know, but since I'm required to give this lecture, I'll try my best.
Henry smiles to himself and quickly writes that bit down. He continues.
HENRY
(the confidence is coming back)
Since we're all here, miles from home, sex is very important. We use it to vent our frustrations or to let loose on a Saturday night.
He grins. He is extremely proud of himself. He writes that part down too.
HENRY
Sex is also very important in the grander scheme of things. Without it none of us would exist. Which brings us to the reproduction part.
He pauses to write that down.
HENRY
Reproduction… uh… (clears his throat) reproduction… um… is, uh…
The roll he was on is now gone, never to return. He sits down and buries his face in his hands.
CUT TO:
INT. RADAR'S OFFICE – 5:34PM
Radar has a stethoscope to the wall, eavesdropping on Henry. Frank comes in and stands next to Radar. He doesn't notice Frank standing there.
FRANK
Corporal, I want to talk to Colonel Blake.
Radar jumps. He tries to take the stethoscope off but ends up wrapping it around his neck. He struggles a bit longer and finally get it off.
RADAR
Colonel Blake is busy right now, Sir.
FRANK
This is important, Corporal! And stand up when you're addressing an officer!
Radar quickly stands and salutes. The stethoscope is wrapped around his hand and he hits himself in the face with the end of it. He shakes it off and salutes properly.
FRANK
That's better! When he's not busy tell Colonel Blake I want to see him.
RADAR
Yes Sir.
Frank leaves. Radar picks the stethoscope up and goes back to eavesdropping on Henry.
CUT TO:
INT. POST OP – 5:37PM
Hawkeye, Adrienne and Father Mulcahy are still sitting by the patient. His condition has not changed.
HAWKEYE
So, Adrienne, have you got a nickname?
ADRIENNE
My sisters call me Rennie.
HAWKEYE
That's nice, I like that.
ADRIENNE
Feel free to call me that. I don't mind.
They watch the patient for a few moments.
ADRIENNE
I could use some coffee. How about you?
HAWKEYE
Thanks.
ADRIENNE
Father?
Father Mulcahy looks up from the patient.
MULCAHY
Hmm?
ADRIENNE
Coffee?
MULCAHY
Oh, yes, thank you.
ADRIENNE
Won't be long.
HAWKEYE
Take your time, we're not going anywhere.
ADRIENNE
Unless he—
She stops herself.
ADRIENNE
I'd rather not think about that.
HAWKEYE
That makes three of us.
Adrienne gets up and leaves post op. She walks towards the mess tent. She notices Trapper is heading her way. He smiles at her. She smiles back and winks. They pass each other. She grins to herself as she continues to the mess tent. Klinger suddenly steps in front of her. He's changed his outfit, he's now wearing a pretty yellow sundress with a straw hat.
ADRIENNE
Hi Klinger.
KLINGER
Captain.
ADRIENNE
Can I… (eyeing his outfit) Help you with something? Some fashion tips perhaps?
KLINGER
I'd like to introduce you to my new friend, Boris.
Adrienne looks around. She looks back at Klinger and it suddenly dawns on her.
ADRIENNE
Ohh… Hi Boris!
KLINGER
He wants me to get out, too! He'll stop at nothing! He doesn't care anymore!!
ADRIENNE
Wow, Klinger. It's nice you've found someone with similar interests.
She pats his arm and continues on to the mess tent. Klinger pouts.