My Grandpa Got Ran Over by a Blue Eyes White Dragon
Note: The most stupidest X-mas ficcy I'll ever write. Featuring pretty much all the cast of Yu-gi-oh and Vanessa from "I'm a Coward." With Yaoi and Anzu bashing and pointless stuff. A spoof of "Grandma got ran over by a Reindeer", but less saner. Whee!!
Three things I want to mention:
1. I bought myself both starter decks and a Kuriboh for 5 bucks. Now I'm ready to duel and get some good magic & monster cards from "the heart of the cards"...or what he's reffered to as "Paul".
2.I'm not going to do a yaoi fic. Period. By the way, Jou and Pegasus starter decks will hit here in Feb. 2003. Yay!
3. Whoever said Seto was raped by Toons...I'm not using it in my fic. I have a good friend who was molested by a clown when she was a kid. Now she gets panic attacks when she see "clowns" on TV.
****
And another thing...
THE BITCH NAMED "MALK" MUST PERISH!!! HOW DARE THAT INSENITIVE LITTLE WHORE CONTINUES HARESSING ME WITH THE FACT I RUN AND OWE AN ANTI-CHIBI USA SITE?!!! NOT TO MENTION, SHE THINKS I'M SOME BLOOD PRISSY MARY SUE!!
I'M PISSED!!!
WELL FUCK HER, AND HER ASSHOLE CHI USA WORSHIPPERS FROM HELL!!! CHIBI USA IS A LITTLE SLUT WHO PRATICES INCEST WITH HER OWN GODDAMN FATHER!!! AND WHEN SHE REALIZES SHE CAN'T HAVE HIM, SHE FALLS FOR AN OLDER MAN WHO CAN TRANSFORM ONTO A HORSE!!! THE HELL?!!!
Yami: Clow!! This is a "PG-13" fic!!!
WELL, FUCK IT!! IT'S "R" NOW!!! Bob, wherever you are...I need your hacking skills...NOW!!!
Anyways...make me happy FOR ONCE IN MY PITIFUL LIFE!!!
Please go to http://www.angelfire.com/realm2/anti_c_u and give that site 10,000 hits...or more. I want to prove to the world I have a decent Anti-Chibi Usa AND NO WHINNY CHIBI WHORE WILL GET IN MY WAY EVER AGAIN!!!!!!
****
-Card of the Chappie-
Okay, like I said earlier...I bought both starter decks for 50.00$ and I paid for a Kuriboh. I was hoping to get the Dark Magician tin that had the lovely manga style Dark Magician card, but they didn't have it. Oh well, at least I got my Kuriboh and my Lord of D. *grins*
And with Paul, I'll get a Ryo-Ran and a Hyozanryu. Plus magic cards like Shield and Sword, Horn of Light, and Chorus of Sanctuary. He as lots of those cards...and I'm hoping to at least owe one of each. Another guy also has a Dragon Piper. Yay!
So why did I buy Kaiba deck? I really should be kicking myself in the head for that cause I loathe that insensitive asshole...
Not to mention he abuses Blue Eyes White Dragons big time, especially when he used Oblisk on them. I hate people who do that! I hate people who abuse their own creatures for their sick repulsive amusement!!
But he has a dragon I really really like and I see no one playing with it in their duels. This card really comes in handy when someone unleashes a "Crush Card Virus" or "Cyber Jar" because it's a level four monster and it has an attack of 1500, so it doesn't get affected by both.
That's a good thing!!
Not to mention, it was the second dragon introduced in the TV series.
You guessed it. It's the Koumori Dragon. It's so dark and pretty. If you use Reinforcements and equip with Malevent Nuzzler or Dragon Claws, then summon Witch's Apprentice onto the field too...the Koumori Dragon can become powerful too afterwards.
Not bad for a level 4 monster.
I wanna start a dragon and spellcaster's deck because I think may have a better chance in my duels. But I'm not stupid. I need really good magic and trap cards too to back it up as well.
Now we returned to your regular scheduale fan-fic already in progress.
****
It's begining to look a lot like...
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" the Black Magician cried as he still had the purtrid puffball on him.
"Jiggly!!" Mr. Jiggles cried.
"That's it!!"
The mage had enough being a bitch to the pink thing. So he grabbed the puffball from Hell and threw the pink putrid thing...
RIGHT ACROSS THE PARKING LOT!!!
It's horrid cries were heard in the air as it flew across the park cars. The magician sighed to himself. Finally he won't have to deal with that "thing" anymore...
"Oh Blackie!" a familiar voice cried out.
The Black Magician turned around. The other mage had appeared.
"Chaos..." the Black Magician muttered, "why didn't you help me get rid of it?!!"
"I dunno..." Chaos began, "I didn't feel like it and what the hell was that thing anyway?"
"Long story. I'm just glad it's finally gone."
"I see. Perhaps we should find Master-chan. I can't wait to see her try on her gift!!"
"Hoo boy..."
****
Elsewhere in that parking lot.
"Anzu..." Kemo said on the cell phone, "Mr. Jiggles had failed to stop the Black Magician."
"WHAT?!!!" Anzu yelled from the cell, "THAT BLOODY POKEMON WAS OUR ONLY CHANCE TO RID THE BLACK MAGICIAN!!!"
"Yeah...so what now? The Big 5 wants you to take Kaiba down and out."
"I will, I will! The police got the dragons...now all they need is Kaiba-boy!! Who would ever thought that cute innocent Shinning Friendship Anzu owes a Blue Eyes White Dragon of HER OWN?!!! Ha ha ha!!! Soon Kaiba-boy will perish...FOR A CRIME HE DIDN'T COMMIT!!! And I shall take over!!"
"I shall wait for the day you take over."
"Yes...now go and stop those mages from getting near Vanessa!!! They are her most powrful cards in her deck!!! Don't fail me now!!!"
"Of course, lady."
Kemo closed the phone and began to load his handgun. He was going to make sure those mages will not interfear with Anzu's plans.
But...what he didn't know was a little winged dragon had listen to the entire convesation!!! Her small blue eyes were round while her small face puffed with anger.
"I can't believe it!" Kiki whispered to herself, "I knew that Anzu girl was up to no good! It's a good thing I had tagged along with the mages. I gotta tell someone about this...but who?"
The petit dragon placed her tail near her mouth as she began to think.
"I got it!!!" Kiki cried, "I know he'll help me! His eye can see that I'm not lying!! I gotta get him! It's the only chance I've got to save Seto!!!!"
And so the small dragon flapped her wings vigeriously as she began to take flight. She flew into the shopping mall...in search of the legendary White Knight.
****
Anzu closed her cell-phone and sighed.
Great. Just great!!! Those mages were not dead!
And now she was in a waiting room with Yugi's fucked up friends. Damn, if Yami wasn't around...she would sweetly get rid of these idiots with her own living and breeding monsters.
They all needed to die..especially Vanessa. What's with that girl? She defeats Pegasus, has rare cards in her deck, and she refuses to duel because of that?!
She must me a retard. It's the only reason she won't duel.
Zero looked at her.
"Hey Anzu..." Zero said, "who did you call?"
"It's none of your business!!" Anzu snapped.
"Hey...Yugi and his friend might be a while in there. You wanna duel to speeed up the time?"
"All right."
Anzu and Zero brought out their decks and began dueling on the table. Toon Magician Girl decided to join in by watching the two of them dueling. Ryou-ran turned to face Vanessa.
"I hope Mr. Mutou comes out well," Ryo-ran said, "I can't believe Seto Kaiba will order his dragons to do such a thing. It...
"It just doesn't make sense," Vanessa replied.
"Exactly. In the Shadow Realm, I known those legendary dragons that Seto owes and they only listen to their own master orders when he's dueling and that alone. The dragons are really friendly...when they are not dueling."
"I know. Dragons are great creatures, but people tend to abuse them alot and only care to have powerful dragons...not caring about the weaker ones in their deck. I kinda told that Seto guy off when I was dueling him. I was so angry on how he summoned his beautiful creatures and he wanted me to be afraid of them. But I wasn't afraid. So...I placed a Change of Heart onto it, which lead the three headed dragon and my Black Magician into attacking Seto ruthlessly and making me win. I don't think he likes me for doing that to him."
"It's the truth what you say on people and their dragons. Almost anyone can get a Blue Eyes White Dragon. There are not the pearl of the ocean as they once was. If one has the money...they can owe Blue Eyes White Dragon just like Seto does."
Vanessa turned to face the eggshell dragon toon. Something just hit her.
"What did you say?" Vanessa asked.
"I think I was saying that people can owe a Blue Eyes White Dragon," Ryo-ran replied, "since Seto now owes Obelisk...he had turned his magestic dragons into a normal common monster cards."
That...jerk!!! It was a reason to hate the CEO owe even more than she ever did! But it also means...someone else had summoned their Blue Eyes White Dragon to attack Sugoroku Mutou and not Seto.
For once, the luxerious dickhead was truely innocent in his entire life!
Vanessa then got up from her seat.
"Where are you going?" Ryo-ran asked.
Vaness placed a hand in her pockeck as she gripped onto her deck. There was trouble once more. Perhaps...it'll help her regain a reason why she duels in the first place.
"I'm going to get Yugi..." Vanessa said, "even though I hate Seto Kaiba, I think the jerk was framed."
****
Do what I said earlier. *growls* I MEAN IT!! DO IT NOW!!!
And Indy...if you don't want your spirits to get hurt, especially Scales...please don't let him review. He's acting like those assholes in high school I had to settle with for 6 YEARS!!!
6 years...6 years...6 FUCKEN LONG TRAMITIZING YEARS!!!
In short laymen terms: I'm a homidcial pyshotic bitch right now and I'm into the mood in BREAKING THINGS.
And Scales is just there taunting, saying "You're a worthless pathetic slut who has no life, your father hates you, and you got not job!!"
WELL THIS WHORELESS VIRGIN CAN MAKE SITES BETTER THAN SOME FUCK UP CHI USA FAN WHORE!!!!
Urge to kill...rising...
-The Clow Hatter
Bakura: *grins, blushing slightly* I like her.
Malik/Ryou/Isthar: *folded their arms* Hmpt!
Note: The most stupidest X-mas ficcy I'll ever write. Featuring pretty much all the cast of Yu-gi-oh and Vanessa from "I'm a Coward." With Yaoi and Anzu bashing and pointless stuff. A spoof of "Grandma got ran over by a Reindeer", but less saner. Whee!!
Three things I want to mention:
1. I bought myself both starter decks and a Kuriboh for 5 bucks. Now I'm ready to duel and get some good magic & monster cards from "the heart of the cards"...or what he's reffered to as "Paul".
2.I'm not going to do a yaoi fic. Period. By the way, Jou and Pegasus starter decks will hit here in Feb. 2003. Yay!
3. Whoever said Seto was raped by Toons...I'm not using it in my fic. I have a good friend who was molested by a clown when she was a kid. Now she gets panic attacks when she see "clowns" on TV.
****
And another thing...
THE BITCH NAMED "MALK" MUST PERISH!!! HOW DARE THAT INSENITIVE LITTLE WHORE CONTINUES HARESSING ME WITH THE FACT I RUN AND OWE AN ANTI-CHIBI USA SITE?!!! NOT TO MENTION, SHE THINKS I'M SOME BLOOD PRISSY MARY SUE!!
I'M PISSED!!!
WELL FUCK HER, AND HER ASSHOLE CHI USA WORSHIPPERS FROM HELL!!! CHIBI USA IS A LITTLE SLUT WHO PRATICES INCEST WITH HER OWN GODDAMN FATHER!!! AND WHEN SHE REALIZES SHE CAN'T HAVE HIM, SHE FALLS FOR AN OLDER MAN WHO CAN TRANSFORM ONTO A HORSE!!! THE HELL?!!!
Yami: Clow!! This is a "PG-13" fic!!!
WELL, FUCK IT!! IT'S "R" NOW!!! Bob, wherever you are...I need your hacking skills...NOW!!!
Anyways...make me happy FOR ONCE IN MY PITIFUL LIFE!!!
Please go to http://www.angelfire.com/realm2/anti_c_u and give that site 10,000 hits...or more. I want to prove to the world I have a decent Anti-Chibi Usa AND NO WHINNY CHIBI WHORE WILL GET IN MY WAY EVER AGAIN!!!!!!
****
-Card of the Chappie-
Okay, like I said earlier...I bought both starter decks for 50.00$ and I paid for a Kuriboh. I was hoping to get the Dark Magician tin that had the lovely manga style Dark Magician card, but they didn't have it. Oh well, at least I got my Kuriboh and my Lord of D. *grins*
And with Paul, I'll get a Ryo-Ran and a Hyozanryu. Plus magic cards like Shield and Sword, Horn of Light, and Chorus of Sanctuary. He as lots of those cards...and I'm hoping to at least owe one of each. Another guy also has a Dragon Piper. Yay!
So why did I buy Kaiba deck? I really should be kicking myself in the head for that cause I loathe that insensitive asshole...
Not to mention he abuses Blue Eyes White Dragons big time, especially when he used Oblisk on them. I hate people who do that! I hate people who abuse their own creatures for their sick repulsive amusement!!
But he has a dragon I really really like and I see no one playing with it in their duels. This card really comes in handy when someone unleashes a "Crush Card Virus" or "Cyber Jar" because it's a level four monster and it has an attack of 1500, so it doesn't get affected by both.
That's a good thing!!
Not to mention, it was the second dragon introduced in the TV series.
You guessed it. It's the Koumori Dragon. It's so dark and pretty. If you use Reinforcements and equip with Malevent Nuzzler or Dragon Claws, then summon Witch's Apprentice onto the field too...the Koumori Dragon can become powerful too afterwards.
Not bad for a level 4 monster.
I wanna start a dragon and spellcaster's deck because I think may have a better chance in my duels. But I'm not stupid. I need really good magic and trap cards too to back it up as well.
Now we returned to your regular scheduale fan-fic already in progress.
****
It's begining to look a lot like...
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" the Black Magician cried as he still had the purtrid puffball on him.
"Jiggly!!" Mr. Jiggles cried.
"That's it!!"
The mage had enough being a bitch to the pink thing. So he grabbed the puffball from Hell and threw the pink putrid thing...
RIGHT ACROSS THE PARKING LOT!!!
It's horrid cries were heard in the air as it flew across the park cars. The magician sighed to himself. Finally he won't have to deal with that "thing" anymore...
"Oh Blackie!" a familiar voice cried out.
The Black Magician turned around. The other mage had appeared.
"Chaos..." the Black Magician muttered, "why didn't you help me get rid of it?!!"
"I dunno..." Chaos began, "I didn't feel like it and what the hell was that thing anyway?"
"Long story. I'm just glad it's finally gone."
"I see. Perhaps we should find Master-chan. I can't wait to see her try on her gift!!"
"Hoo boy..."
****
Elsewhere in that parking lot.
"Anzu..." Kemo said on the cell phone, "Mr. Jiggles had failed to stop the Black Magician."
"WHAT?!!!" Anzu yelled from the cell, "THAT BLOODY POKEMON WAS OUR ONLY CHANCE TO RID THE BLACK MAGICIAN!!!"
"Yeah...so what now? The Big 5 wants you to take Kaiba down and out."
"I will, I will! The police got the dragons...now all they need is Kaiba-boy!! Who would ever thought that cute innocent Shinning Friendship Anzu owes a Blue Eyes White Dragon of HER OWN?!!! Ha ha ha!!! Soon Kaiba-boy will perish...FOR A CRIME HE DIDN'T COMMIT!!! And I shall take over!!"
"I shall wait for the day you take over."
"Yes...now go and stop those mages from getting near Vanessa!!! They are her most powrful cards in her deck!!! Don't fail me now!!!"
"Of course, lady."
Kemo closed the phone and began to load his handgun. He was going to make sure those mages will not interfear with Anzu's plans.
But...what he didn't know was a little winged dragon had listen to the entire convesation!!! Her small blue eyes were round while her small face puffed with anger.
"I can't believe it!" Kiki whispered to herself, "I knew that Anzu girl was up to no good! It's a good thing I had tagged along with the mages. I gotta tell someone about this...but who?"
The petit dragon placed her tail near her mouth as she began to think.
"I got it!!!" Kiki cried, "I know he'll help me! His eye can see that I'm not lying!! I gotta get him! It's the only chance I've got to save Seto!!!!"
And so the small dragon flapped her wings vigeriously as she began to take flight. She flew into the shopping mall...in search of the legendary White Knight.
****
Anzu closed her cell-phone and sighed.
Great. Just great!!! Those mages were not dead!
And now she was in a waiting room with Yugi's fucked up friends. Damn, if Yami wasn't around...she would sweetly get rid of these idiots with her own living and breeding monsters.
They all needed to die..especially Vanessa. What's with that girl? She defeats Pegasus, has rare cards in her deck, and she refuses to duel because of that?!
She must me a retard. It's the only reason she won't duel.
Zero looked at her.
"Hey Anzu..." Zero said, "who did you call?"
"It's none of your business!!" Anzu snapped.
"Hey...Yugi and his friend might be a while in there. You wanna duel to speeed up the time?"
"All right."
Anzu and Zero brought out their decks and began dueling on the table. Toon Magician Girl decided to join in by watching the two of them dueling. Ryou-ran turned to face Vanessa.
"I hope Mr. Mutou comes out well," Ryo-ran said, "I can't believe Seto Kaiba will order his dragons to do such a thing. It...
"It just doesn't make sense," Vanessa replied.
"Exactly. In the Shadow Realm, I known those legendary dragons that Seto owes and they only listen to their own master orders when he's dueling and that alone. The dragons are really friendly...when they are not dueling."
"I know. Dragons are great creatures, but people tend to abuse them alot and only care to have powerful dragons...not caring about the weaker ones in their deck. I kinda told that Seto guy off when I was dueling him. I was so angry on how he summoned his beautiful creatures and he wanted me to be afraid of them. But I wasn't afraid. So...I placed a Change of Heart onto it, which lead the three headed dragon and my Black Magician into attacking Seto ruthlessly and making me win. I don't think he likes me for doing that to him."
"It's the truth what you say on people and their dragons. Almost anyone can get a Blue Eyes White Dragon. There are not the pearl of the ocean as they once was. If one has the money...they can owe Blue Eyes White Dragon just like Seto does."
Vanessa turned to face the eggshell dragon toon. Something just hit her.
"What did you say?" Vanessa asked.
"I think I was saying that people can owe a Blue Eyes White Dragon," Ryo-ran replied, "since Seto now owes Obelisk...he had turned his magestic dragons into a normal common monster cards."
That...jerk!!! It was a reason to hate the CEO owe even more than she ever did! But it also means...someone else had summoned their Blue Eyes White Dragon to attack Sugoroku Mutou and not Seto.
For once, the luxerious dickhead was truely innocent in his entire life!
Vanessa then got up from her seat.
"Where are you going?" Ryo-ran asked.
Vaness placed a hand in her pockeck as she gripped onto her deck. There was trouble once more. Perhaps...it'll help her regain a reason why she duels in the first place.
"I'm going to get Yugi..." Vanessa said, "even though I hate Seto Kaiba, I think the jerk was framed."
****
Do what I said earlier. *growls* I MEAN IT!! DO IT NOW!!!
And Indy...if you don't want your spirits to get hurt, especially Scales...please don't let him review. He's acting like those assholes in high school I had to settle with for 6 YEARS!!!
6 years...6 years...6 FUCKEN LONG TRAMITIZING YEARS!!!
In short laymen terms: I'm a homidcial pyshotic bitch right now and I'm into the mood in BREAKING THINGS.
And Scales is just there taunting, saying "You're a worthless pathetic slut who has no life, your father hates you, and you got not job!!"
WELL THIS WHORELESS VIRGIN CAN MAKE SITES BETTER THAN SOME FUCK UP CHI USA FAN WHORE!!!!
Urge to kill...rising...
-The Clow Hatter
Bakura: *grins, blushing slightly* I like her.
Malik/Ryou/Isthar: *folded their arms* Hmpt!