Disclaimer:  SDA

Dedication:  This is for Lemon Fiend, who stuck with me even when I wasn't writing any fics…and for Dryad Chick, who reads all of my decent ones…^_^'''

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Title:  Desire

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How?  How could he have defeated me?  He is so weak that he should not be allowed to pilot a Zoid.  But without his organoid, or his companion, he made me weak.  My Geno Saurer was powerless against his tactics.  He was so weak.  He is so weak. 

He should have died in that cornfield.  I should have killed him.  Shouldn't have shown him and his lowly companion where to find water.  Should have let them be caught and murdered by the Republicans.  He should have died then.  Or if not then when I fought him for the first time.  He shouldn't have been able to defeat my Saber Fang.  But my Saber was destroyed…My Geno Saurer was impenetrable.  How did he defeat it?  How…?

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"Well, if I'M weak, then if I defeat you, you must be even weaker!"

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I'm not weak.  I am the strongest of all pilots.  No one can defeat me.  No one should be able to beat me…No…He must have had help…some how…He could not have defeated me alone.  His organoid.  It helped him.  It made his Zoid whole again.  But even so, he should not have been able to defeat me.  He is so weak.  He was weak with his organoid and weak without it.  NO!  HE COULD NOT HAVE DEFEATED ME!  NO!

He could feel his body moving.  Taking a Zoid.  A Gordos, from those Republicans.  The Gordos seemed to be moving on it's own.  Destroying the base.  Without effort.

Without effort was the way Raven should have been able to defeat him.  Van was so weak, powerless, and naive…

The base was destroyed, but so was the Gordos.  It was such a weak Zoid anyway, it really wasn't made of anything tougher than to be able to destroy a base.  It shouldn't be honored with him as the pilot, anyway.  It was only a tool.  A tool in his path of destruction.

I am not weak.  I am strong.  I have destroyed so many bases.  Killed so many people.  Annihilated so many villages.  Decimated cities.  Why…why couldn't I destroy one weak little boy?  WHY?

Zoids are pathetic.  They are weak.  The pilot is all that makes a Zoid strong.  But he isn't strong.  He doesn't have the strength to defeat me.  Especially not in the Geno Saurer.  The Geno Saurer is so much more powerful than a pathetic Shield Liger.

Hours passed as Raven walked in the desert with only Shadow as his companion.  As he aimlessly walked on, and white Gustav pulled up beside him, a man opened the cockpit and asked Raven if he wanted a ride and some water.  Raven hadn't noticed how thirsty he was, so he accepts silently.

Dinner that night didn't taste any different than anything edible had since that day.

That day.  I should have won.  I am so much stronger than that weakling.  He is not strong.  He is powerless.  He depends on only his organoid to fight.  Yet he defeated me.  How?  I don't understand…

Raven left the man without waking him the next morning.  He walked until he came across a Dark Horn.  This Zoid wasn't as weak as the Gordos had been.  He could use it for some time.  Shadow flew up and attacked a Redler.  As the smoke clears, Raven sees a Zoid run up and attack him.  The blade cuts off one of the legs of the Dark Horn.

Blade…where have I seen that before…

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"This blade survived the last attack, maybe it can hold out against him again!"

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No.  That couldn't be.  Impossible.  It can't be him.  He couldn't have sneaked up on me like that.  He is so lowly…

Support fire flew down upon the Dark Horn until Raven could no longer stand it.  He pressed open the cockpit and jumped out.  His opponent opened his cockpit, too.

Impossible.  After so long of thinking about this one boy.  This child.  Raven hadn't actually run into him.  Although that had been his dream ever since he had been defeated, he hadn't been sure what he would do if he ever ran across him.

Suddenly, the intensity of what this boy had done rushed in on Raven.  Even after all these years of brooding, he hadn't realized what had been done.

He had been defeated.  Raven, the most powerful pilot of all had been destroyed.  Decimated against this child who hadn't had his Zoid for a year.  That is unforgivable.  He will pay.  He will die.  But not now, I need a more suitable Zoid to defeat him.  He will pay. 

"SHADOW!"  Raven turned to leave.  Turned away from the object of his desires.  The boy he had dreamed of killing for years.  Turned away from the one person that had ever clouded his thoughts.

Van Flyheight.