Like to thank those who have reviewed, you have put me on a cloud like no other. I do hope you like this new chapter and the one to follow. Thank you tremendously from the bottom of my heart. Once again I don't own nothing, except for Bosco he sitting right next to me, oh wouldn't I love that one. No, don't own him or anybody else, not even the song. So enjoy!
Chapters (2/3)
Part 2-What Happened.
(It starts with)
One thing / I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on / but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried
so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing / I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Linkin Park-In The End
Bosco's POV
Have you ever thought you were in complete control and then something happens suddenly and you realized, shit, how wrong was I? That happened to me.
It all started when I worked for the Anti-Crime department. I had decided to go work for them willingly when that night in the hospital Faith had said some words to me that had opened my eyes. Even though my mind had blown it off as though she was terrified of the unknown of not knowing what was going to happen with her or Fred something told me otherwise. Even as she yelled at me and tears had begun to roll down her eyes and hearing that strain in her voice and I just took the blows like my mouth was sewed shut. I realized my heart was telling me no matter how upset Faith was those words were spoken and a trillion apologies could not set it right. To me it would never take away the feeling of uselessness.
I never told her how much she had truly upset me that night. It was like something had built up inside me as the days went on in a haze and I really don't remember her saying sorry. She said thank you, for being there, to help with Fred. But an apology was not to be found. Sometimes when I looked over at her, I swear it was like she was waiting for me to screw up again so she could get back to correcting me again.
Faith was my best friend. Still is. If anything happened to her I wouldn't know what to do. Maybe that is why it hurt so badly. Useless, my dad had once called me that and even though I said I wouldn't listen to him, I did, and that is a part of my reason being a cop, I wasn't being useless. Then Faith said that and it brought me back to my childhood and it was like I couldn't breathe and a fire was emerging.
Getting away from the hurt I did. I transferred to Anti-Crime making it seem like they needed me there, like as though if they called upon me, because of how well I worked and what I did on the streets.
I would see her, Faith, be maybe a day or even a week since the last time I saw her and wouldn't be to long before she talked to me again as though I was her child. That little annoyance would pop out and something would emerge from what I been feeling and you know, I didn't really regret it, still don't.
So Anti-Crime here I came. I didn't really want to be around Faith, just I couldn't understand what was going on already, I wanted to figure out what to do first, for once, and then approach it yet that's not how it was planned.
I never believed in luck, fate, destiny, and all that happy horse shit that went along with fortune cookies. Then again, you always wonder if there is some kind of story already written out for you. Because Cruz was entered into my life and she was going to turn it 99degres the other way.
First impression of Cruz, nice. Seemed tough, like me, darker, but just as cool as me. How wrong I was.
The call came over the radio and my life before me was about to be set into motion. It was a kid from the hood. A kid I knew damn well. Been in trouble, had his beef with me but he was a good kid and just a kid at that. Robbery, that is what the crime was. He looked at me right in the eyes swore to me he didn't have any part of it, yet Cruz, thinking he was bluffing said she would plant evidence if he didn't confess. This kid I knew was sent to juvie all because of what she 'thought' was right. Not listening to me and saying that how could I understand I wasn't from these parts that they would sell you out any chance they got. But I did understand because I knew these people better then she thought I did.
I had to stop her after she did that. To bring her down I had to find out more about her and as I did I realized how far she crossed the line more then I had, lines that almost seemed prohibited in my eyes. Then it was perfectly clear, I couldn't be associated with her because when she went down and got caught in the process of this, she was going to take me down with her.
Cruz from then on thought I was with her. She thought I wanted part of what she had whatever that was in her mind. She would continue to ramble on about this and that how she helped certain drug dealers, bring drugs into our harbors, sell them to pot heads then arrest them to make good collars. She thought I was going to help her, I was going to be the one to bring her down.
The day came. She asked me if I wanted to help, make sure the deal went down and nothing went wrong, so I reluctantly agreed. Even though I planned on something completely different.
See my entire plain was simple. Pull out of this before I got too far into the shit I couldn't get myself out of it. But I had a backup plain, I had a favor so before I went I called it in and then I left. My entire heart pumped with adrenaline and even though it was in the middle of the day I still felt a sense of darkness around my senses.
I walked into the ghetto on a mission nobody said anything to me they left me alone and as I walked up to Cruz who was talking to somebody else I breathed in deeply.
"Cruz."
Turning around her black hair fell in front of her face but she put a finger up and slipped it behind her ear.
"I'm pulling out."
'Good' I thought, direct and to the point don't be rambling off so you confuse her even more.
"What was that Bosco?"
"You heard me, I'm done, no more."
She smiled. I wondered if that was a good sign but knowing my luck it never is.
"Baby, you can't pull out, that would be a wrong move."
I watched as the man she had been talking to earlier had begun to walk away. Looking past her shoulder I looked back at her, her cold eyes.
"Then that's a wrong move I'm gonna have to take."
I could see the anger beginning to form on her face as she listened to me talk to her. I sure had an effect on people that way.
I had been careless. While watching her the entire time, her eyes that is, I never watched her hand. Stupid, I would say so. I heard the click as she cocked it back and then before my life changed I knew in one split second, this wasn't going to be good.
I didn't feel anything, honestly. Maybe my body was that quick to go into shock. All I remember was rearing back my head even looked back as my hands began to flare out trying to prevent the hard fall about to come to my frame. First thing I saw was the beautiful blue sky. I looked at it and just almost stared at it awe, like it was my first time even though I was laying on the ground trying to fight for air.
The buildings made me fell smaller and smaller as did the tree that it's branches reached further up to the sky then I ever could. As I squinted I realized an airplane was flying high, over us, not even oblivious of what was going down below it.
I was gulping for air but nothing was coming out. I began to loose focus of what was going on, why I was in pain, why I couldn't breathe. Catching site of Cruz who had was still standing in front of me talked into her radio as she then bent down onto the balls of her feet. As she put the radio to the side she sneered at me.
"Sorry but hey, it happens, right?" kneeling closer to my face "You made a big mistake Bosco. Didn't want to see you go like this but you will not stop me, you got me, your friends, the cops of this precinct, nobody. The drugs will come in, and I will pass them out with a smile on my face and then I'll use it against them. I run this place, not you."
Even though the pain had just started to become unbearable I gave her my Boscorelli smirk.
"Well I know something you don't."
"What is that may I ask?"
She didn't find out, till later that is. I couldn't answer her. The pain had become to the point I was seeing white. I looked as best as I could at my chest. Not sure why, maybe I wanted to prove in my head I was shot, that I, Boscorelli had been shot. That was the big default of Anti-Crime, you were in your civvies, can't wear a vest over your clothes or under for that matter don't want to stick out. Because of that I lay with a damn gunshot wounds to my upper chest because I didn't wear one, and if I had to blame on something that is what I would blame it on.
Even though I was in complete agony not being able to process anything my body going from side to side trying to hold onto my wounds and it crossed my mind, I ruined one of my favorite shirts. Funny how your mind works when your in extreme misery, and I as laid there all I could think was, Cruz was going to have to buy me a new shirt.
When you're in a great deal of turmoil and all you can think about is survival everything else kind of slips out of your mind and even after it's over, after you won the fight to live, you can't remember shit afterwards. I know that's how it works for me anyways. Could have been when I went into shock and I couldn't process it but for a split second the blurred images came clear and Faith's form was over me. Least I knew she was there but then it blurred again.
One part does come clear to me as I think about it, the ambulance ride. Nothing can describe what I was feeling but everything cleared and it was like I was at peace.
Looking at Faith I saw her she had tears in her eyes as though I was already dead or something. First thing that came to my mind was that I was sorry I was making her feel that way to bring tears to her eyes. Just hate to see a woman cry.
"I'm sorry."
"Bosco shut up you're going to be fine."
Shaking my head lightly. No it wasn't fine I had made her cry and that was a mean thing to do.
"I been such a jerk."
"No, you haven't, I have, you deserve to be mad at me, so shut up and don't you say your sorry one more time you hear me don't you dare give up on me."
What was she talking about? Later, quite later I would understand but you see my mind processed it, as I was sorry for making her cry she saw it as I was saying sorry for the last couple of weeks. She knew she had been wrong in what she said and she was trying to make sure I knew she didn't mean it all. But like I said I couldn't deal with it and I couldn't understand and hell I was very out of it.
"Faith I'm tired," my lip quivered as I said this. Not sure really, stupid thing and even my eyes were watering up and that siren, oh that siren was so loud and all I wanted was it to just stop.
"You know, I really do hate that siren." I thought I should put that out there for her and then after that, that is all I can remember. Nothing more. My head had gotten heavier as I tried to speak to Faith so I put it to the side.
If I close my eyes real tight I can hear the faint yell of Doc's voice and Faith's anguish cries for me to keep my eyes open, and I think Carlos was some here among those two. At least I was in good company.
Hope. That is all you can live by, hope that you wake up, hope whatever the hell is going on that it stops. I hoped when I woke up that Cruz was dealt with, and everything could just go back to normal because I was really, getting sick of this.
TBC....in Part 3-The Conclusion
Chapters (2/3)
Part 2-What Happened.
(It starts with)
One thing / I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on / but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried
so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing / I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Linkin Park-In The End
Bosco's POV
Have you ever thought you were in complete control and then something happens suddenly and you realized, shit, how wrong was I? That happened to me.
It all started when I worked for the Anti-Crime department. I had decided to go work for them willingly when that night in the hospital Faith had said some words to me that had opened my eyes. Even though my mind had blown it off as though she was terrified of the unknown of not knowing what was going to happen with her or Fred something told me otherwise. Even as she yelled at me and tears had begun to roll down her eyes and hearing that strain in her voice and I just took the blows like my mouth was sewed shut. I realized my heart was telling me no matter how upset Faith was those words were spoken and a trillion apologies could not set it right. To me it would never take away the feeling of uselessness.
I never told her how much she had truly upset me that night. It was like something had built up inside me as the days went on in a haze and I really don't remember her saying sorry. She said thank you, for being there, to help with Fred. But an apology was not to be found. Sometimes when I looked over at her, I swear it was like she was waiting for me to screw up again so she could get back to correcting me again.
Faith was my best friend. Still is. If anything happened to her I wouldn't know what to do. Maybe that is why it hurt so badly. Useless, my dad had once called me that and even though I said I wouldn't listen to him, I did, and that is a part of my reason being a cop, I wasn't being useless. Then Faith said that and it brought me back to my childhood and it was like I couldn't breathe and a fire was emerging.
Getting away from the hurt I did. I transferred to Anti-Crime making it seem like they needed me there, like as though if they called upon me, because of how well I worked and what I did on the streets.
I would see her, Faith, be maybe a day or even a week since the last time I saw her and wouldn't be to long before she talked to me again as though I was her child. That little annoyance would pop out and something would emerge from what I been feeling and you know, I didn't really regret it, still don't.
So Anti-Crime here I came. I didn't really want to be around Faith, just I couldn't understand what was going on already, I wanted to figure out what to do first, for once, and then approach it yet that's not how it was planned.
I never believed in luck, fate, destiny, and all that happy horse shit that went along with fortune cookies. Then again, you always wonder if there is some kind of story already written out for you. Because Cruz was entered into my life and she was going to turn it 99degres the other way.
First impression of Cruz, nice. Seemed tough, like me, darker, but just as cool as me. How wrong I was.
The call came over the radio and my life before me was about to be set into motion. It was a kid from the hood. A kid I knew damn well. Been in trouble, had his beef with me but he was a good kid and just a kid at that. Robbery, that is what the crime was. He looked at me right in the eyes swore to me he didn't have any part of it, yet Cruz, thinking he was bluffing said she would plant evidence if he didn't confess. This kid I knew was sent to juvie all because of what she 'thought' was right. Not listening to me and saying that how could I understand I wasn't from these parts that they would sell you out any chance they got. But I did understand because I knew these people better then she thought I did.
I had to stop her after she did that. To bring her down I had to find out more about her and as I did I realized how far she crossed the line more then I had, lines that almost seemed prohibited in my eyes. Then it was perfectly clear, I couldn't be associated with her because when she went down and got caught in the process of this, she was going to take me down with her.
Cruz from then on thought I was with her. She thought I wanted part of what she had whatever that was in her mind. She would continue to ramble on about this and that how she helped certain drug dealers, bring drugs into our harbors, sell them to pot heads then arrest them to make good collars. She thought I was going to help her, I was going to be the one to bring her down.
The day came. She asked me if I wanted to help, make sure the deal went down and nothing went wrong, so I reluctantly agreed. Even though I planned on something completely different.
See my entire plain was simple. Pull out of this before I got too far into the shit I couldn't get myself out of it. But I had a backup plain, I had a favor so before I went I called it in and then I left. My entire heart pumped with adrenaline and even though it was in the middle of the day I still felt a sense of darkness around my senses.
I walked into the ghetto on a mission nobody said anything to me they left me alone and as I walked up to Cruz who was talking to somebody else I breathed in deeply.
"Cruz."
Turning around her black hair fell in front of her face but she put a finger up and slipped it behind her ear.
"I'm pulling out."
'Good' I thought, direct and to the point don't be rambling off so you confuse her even more.
"What was that Bosco?"
"You heard me, I'm done, no more."
She smiled. I wondered if that was a good sign but knowing my luck it never is.
"Baby, you can't pull out, that would be a wrong move."
I watched as the man she had been talking to earlier had begun to walk away. Looking past her shoulder I looked back at her, her cold eyes.
"Then that's a wrong move I'm gonna have to take."
I could see the anger beginning to form on her face as she listened to me talk to her. I sure had an effect on people that way.
I had been careless. While watching her the entire time, her eyes that is, I never watched her hand. Stupid, I would say so. I heard the click as she cocked it back and then before my life changed I knew in one split second, this wasn't going to be good.
I didn't feel anything, honestly. Maybe my body was that quick to go into shock. All I remember was rearing back my head even looked back as my hands began to flare out trying to prevent the hard fall about to come to my frame. First thing I saw was the beautiful blue sky. I looked at it and just almost stared at it awe, like it was my first time even though I was laying on the ground trying to fight for air.
The buildings made me fell smaller and smaller as did the tree that it's branches reached further up to the sky then I ever could. As I squinted I realized an airplane was flying high, over us, not even oblivious of what was going down below it.
I was gulping for air but nothing was coming out. I began to loose focus of what was going on, why I was in pain, why I couldn't breathe. Catching site of Cruz who had was still standing in front of me talked into her radio as she then bent down onto the balls of her feet. As she put the radio to the side she sneered at me.
"Sorry but hey, it happens, right?" kneeling closer to my face "You made a big mistake Bosco. Didn't want to see you go like this but you will not stop me, you got me, your friends, the cops of this precinct, nobody. The drugs will come in, and I will pass them out with a smile on my face and then I'll use it against them. I run this place, not you."
Even though the pain had just started to become unbearable I gave her my Boscorelli smirk.
"Well I know something you don't."
"What is that may I ask?"
She didn't find out, till later that is. I couldn't answer her. The pain had become to the point I was seeing white. I looked as best as I could at my chest. Not sure why, maybe I wanted to prove in my head I was shot, that I, Boscorelli had been shot. That was the big default of Anti-Crime, you were in your civvies, can't wear a vest over your clothes or under for that matter don't want to stick out. Because of that I lay with a damn gunshot wounds to my upper chest because I didn't wear one, and if I had to blame on something that is what I would blame it on.
Even though I was in complete agony not being able to process anything my body going from side to side trying to hold onto my wounds and it crossed my mind, I ruined one of my favorite shirts. Funny how your mind works when your in extreme misery, and I as laid there all I could think was, Cruz was going to have to buy me a new shirt.
When you're in a great deal of turmoil and all you can think about is survival everything else kind of slips out of your mind and even after it's over, after you won the fight to live, you can't remember shit afterwards. I know that's how it works for me anyways. Could have been when I went into shock and I couldn't process it but for a split second the blurred images came clear and Faith's form was over me. Least I knew she was there but then it blurred again.
One part does come clear to me as I think about it, the ambulance ride. Nothing can describe what I was feeling but everything cleared and it was like I was at peace.
Looking at Faith I saw her she had tears in her eyes as though I was already dead or something. First thing that came to my mind was that I was sorry I was making her feel that way to bring tears to her eyes. Just hate to see a woman cry.
"I'm sorry."
"Bosco shut up you're going to be fine."
Shaking my head lightly. No it wasn't fine I had made her cry and that was a mean thing to do.
"I been such a jerk."
"No, you haven't, I have, you deserve to be mad at me, so shut up and don't you say your sorry one more time you hear me don't you dare give up on me."
What was she talking about? Later, quite later I would understand but you see my mind processed it, as I was sorry for making her cry she saw it as I was saying sorry for the last couple of weeks. She knew she had been wrong in what she said and she was trying to make sure I knew she didn't mean it all. But like I said I couldn't deal with it and I couldn't understand and hell I was very out of it.
"Faith I'm tired," my lip quivered as I said this. Not sure really, stupid thing and even my eyes were watering up and that siren, oh that siren was so loud and all I wanted was it to just stop.
"You know, I really do hate that siren." I thought I should put that out there for her and then after that, that is all I can remember. Nothing more. My head had gotten heavier as I tried to speak to Faith so I put it to the side.
If I close my eyes real tight I can hear the faint yell of Doc's voice and Faith's anguish cries for me to keep my eyes open, and I think Carlos was some here among those two. At least I was in good company.
Hope. That is all you can live by, hope that you wake up, hope whatever the hell is going on that it stops. I hoped when I woke up that Cruz was dealt with, and everything could just go back to normal because I was really, getting sick of this.
TBC....in Part 3-The Conclusion