Soul Reaver - Part 2: The long boring Training.
Me: Hello it's me again I hoped you enjoyed the first installment.
Raziel: You could have gotten me killed, making me say that behind Kain's back!
Me: Oh shut up he can't killed you for good you know.
Raziel: Oh yeah..
Me: Now go drink your juice and get ready.
Raziel: Ok
(Raziel lifts a juicebox up and sticks the straw between his cowl and begins to drink it even though he has no lips).
Me: Anyway, may I present to you part 2.
************************************************************** *************************
(We come in where we left Raziel and the Elder God, having to wait for a load screen that takes an eternity to load.)
Elder God: I know you, Raziel, well not really but I was paid to say that, but that's another story, you are worthy.
(Raziel is just finishing his juicebox when suddenly rock smashes the side of his head.)
Raziel: Oh yeah, uh.What madness is this? What butt-ugly form have I come to get now? A better make-up artist would be a release next to this screw-up.
Elder God: You got really screwed up in the abyss, getting drunk and the like, Raziel. You should be thankful I saved your ass.
Raziel: I would hire a better travel agent than be here.
Elder God: The choice is not yours to make it's the director's.
Raziel: Can we at least play some music while I'm here?
Elder God: Fine. Why not.
(Underworld theme plays.)
Raziel: Thanks, where was I oh yeah, I am destroyed!
Elder God: You are reborn
The birth of one of Kain's...
(The Elder begins one of his long and boring speeches about how Kain did this and that, which causes Raziel to fall asleep.)
Elder God: .Become my Soul Reaver, my angel of death.
(Raziel has bubble coming from his nose and is snoring.)
Elder God: RAZIEL!
Raziel: *Jumps* Aghhh!.. Oh yeah, yeah become your agent yeah whatever.
(Raziel runs out of the God's chamber and sees his first StarGate whoops I mean warp gate.)
Elder God: This gate bends time and some crap like that and allows you travel great distances without having to go on foot.
Raziel: Sweet!
(Raziel runs through the gate and runs smack into the wall.)
Elder God: You idiot you have to activate other gates first!
Raziel: Screw this, I'll just take a cab or something.
Elder God: That doesn't exist on Nosgoth.
Raziel: Says you.
(Raziel walks into next chamber and suddenly feels weak; he leans against a pillar to keep himself steady.)
Elder God: You are still a little drunk, you must feed to get your strength up.
Raziel: Are you blind I can't friggen drink blood no more, remember no lower jaw?!
Elder God: Shut up and let me finish! You are changed you no longer hunger for blood, you now must eat souls. They will sustain you and replenish health.
Raziel: Talk about your Soul food, ha ha ha.
Elder God: You suck at jokes Raziel.
Raziel: Hey shut up!
(Raziel eats a few souls and then continues into the next chamber; he comes across his first group of Sluagh.)
Raziel: !0.0! Holy crap! What the hell are those things!
Elder God: They are the Sluagh, butt-ugly aren't they, sheesh even Ariel isn't that frightening, ya know what I mean.
Raziel: HAHAHAHAH damn that was good!
(The creatures suddenly slunk and frown at the insults).
Sluagh#1: Hey! Shut up you big bullies.
Sluagh#2: Yeah what did we do to you? Mister no bottom jaw that wears a gay looking cowl!
Sluagh#3: Yeah! Besides, aren't ladies the only ones who wears those.
(The sudden jokes about his cowl set Raziel into a rage that scares that crap of the freakish beast).
Raziel: THAT'S IT! YOUR F*****G DEAD YOU SORRY ASS EXCUSES FOR CREATURES!!!!!
Sluagh#4: OH S#$@! RUN!
(Raziel charges at the Sluagh at incredible speed and stabs the 2nd one through the head and then slices the heads of the 1st and 4th in one swipe and then impales the 3rd through the chest, he then devours all their souls).
Raziel: Who else wants to make a mockery of my cowl!!!
Elder God: Whoa calm down Raziel, just count to 10 and breath, okay?
Raziel: *after calming down* Ok I better get going.
(Raziel comes to a chasm that seems impassable).
Raziel: That's nothing, I can jump it.
(He tries about a million times and keeps falling flat on his face.)
2 HOURS LATER
Elder God: Damn-it Raziel use your wings, though ruined, still can be used, take hold as you leap and they will carry your scrawny ass across.
Raziel: I could have thought of that.
(Raziel finally makes it to the first material-plane portal).
Elder God: These things will allow you go into the material realm, be warned though your health will wither and soon you'll be returned to the spectral.
(Raziel stands on the portal and uses it.)
Raziel: Oh cool I'm doing that again!
(So he did for the next three hours.)
Me: Sorry about that he's a bit of an idiot. Tune in for part three coming soon.
Please Review. :)
Me: Hello it's me again I hoped you enjoyed the first installment.
Raziel: You could have gotten me killed, making me say that behind Kain's back!
Me: Oh shut up he can't killed you for good you know.
Raziel: Oh yeah..
Me: Now go drink your juice and get ready.
Raziel: Ok
(Raziel lifts a juicebox up and sticks the straw between his cowl and begins to drink it even though he has no lips).
Me: Anyway, may I present to you part 2.
************************************************************** *************************
(We come in where we left Raziel and the Elder God, having to wait for a load screen that takes an eternity to load.)
Elder God: I know you, Raziel, well not really but I was paid to say that, but that's another story, you are worthy.
(Raziel is just finishing his juicebox when suddenly rock smashes the side of his head.)
Raziel: Oh yeah, uh.What madness is this? What butt-ugly form have I come to get now? A better make-up artist would be a release next to this screw-up.
Elder God: You got really screwed up in the abyss, getting drunk and the like, Raziel. You should be thankful I saved your ass.
Raziel: I would hire a better travel agent than be here.
Elder God: The choice is not yours to make it's the director's.
Raziel: Can we at least play some music while I'm here?
Elder God: Fine. Why not.
(Underworld theme plays.)
Raziel: Thanks, where was I oh yeah, I am destroyed!
Elder God: You are reborn
The birth of one of Kain's...
(The Elder begins one of his long and boring speeches about how Kain did this and that, which causes Raziel to fall asleep.)
Elder God: .Become my Soul Reaver, my angel of death.
(Raziel has bubble coming from his nose and is snoring.)
Elder God: RAZIEL!
Raziel: *Jumps* Aghhh!.. Oh yeah, yeah become your agent yeah whatever.
(Raziel runs out of the God's chamber and sees his first StarGate whoops I mean warp gate.)
Elder God: This gate bends time and some crap like that and allows you travel great distances without having to go on foot.
Raziel: Sweet!
(Raziel runs through the gate and runs smack into the wall.)
Elder God: You idiot you have to activate other gates first!
Raziel: Screw this, I'll just take a cab or something.
Elder God: That doesn't exist on Nosgoth.
Raziel: Says you.
(Raziel walks into next chamber and suddenly feels weak; he leans against a pillar to keep himself steady.)
Elder God: You are still a little drunk, you must feed to get your strength up.
Raziel: Are you blind I can't friggen drink blood no more, remember no lower jaw?!
Elder God: Shut up and let me finish! You are changed you no longer hunger for blood, you now must eat souls. They will sustain you and replenish health.
Raziel: Talk about your Soul food, ha ha ha.
Elder God: You suck at jokes Raziel.
Raziel: Hey shut up!
(Raziel eats a few souls and then continues into the next chamber; he comes across his first group of Sluagh.)
Raziel: !0.0! Holy crap! What the hell are those things!
Elder God: They are the Sluagh, butt-ugly aren't they, sheesh even Ariel isn't that frightening, ya know what I mean.
Raziel: HAHAHAHAH damn that was good!
(The creatures suddenly slunk and frown at the insults).
Sluagh#1: Hey! Shut up you big bullies.
Sluagh#2: Yeah what did we do to you? Mister no bottom jaw that wears a gay looking cowl!
Sluagh#3: Yeah! Besides, aren't ladies the only ones who wears those.
(The sudden jokes about his cowl set Raziel into a rage that scares that crap of the freakish beast).
Raziel: THAT'S IT! YOUR F*****G DEAD YOU SORRY ASS EXCUSES FOR CREATURES!!!!!
Sluagh#4: OH S#$@! RUN!
(Raziel charges at the Sluagh at incredible speed and stabs the 2nd one through the head and then slices the heads of the 1st and 4th in one swipe and then impales the 3rd through the chest, he then devours all their souls).
Raziel: Who else wants to make a mockery of my cowl!!!
Elder God: Whoa calm down Raziel, just count to 10 and breath, okay?
Raziel: *after calming down* Ok I better get going.
(Raziel comes to a chasm that seems impassable).
Raziel: That's nothing, I can jump it.
(He tries about a million times and keeps falling flat on his face.)
2 HOURS LATER
Elder God: Damn-it Raziel use your wings, though ruined, still can be used, take hold as you leap and they will carry your scrawny ass across.
Raziel: I could have thought of that.
(Raziel finally makes it to the first material-plane portal).
Elder God: These things will allow you go into the material realm, be warned though your health will wither and soon you'll be returned to the spectral.
(Raziel stands on the portal and uses it.)
Raziel: Oh cool I'm doing that again!
(So he did for the next three hours.)
Me: Sorry about that he's a bit of an idiot. Tune in for part three coming soon.
Please Review. :)