Soul Reaver- Part 3: New Vamp on da' Block
Me: Hey glad to see you liked the last two parts, I have a little treat for you.
(Raziel calls from behinds large curtains.)
Raziel: Do I have to? :(
Me: YES.
Raziel: Oh all right, shucks.
(The curtains rise to reveal Raziel wearing a light pink tutu and a little angel wings.)
Raziel: I hate you.
Me: Just do it.
Raziel: Now?
Me: Yes.
Raziel: *Singing* I'm a little tea-pot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout, when I get all steamed up hear me shout, tip me over and pour me out.
(Canned clapping can be heard.)
Raziel: Can I go?
Me: Yes fine.
Part three - Vampires, Empires and homovamps?!?!?!?!? ************************************************************** *************************
(After several hours of warping into spectral & material realms, Raziel finally gets bored and walks up to the large iron gate.)
Elder God: The gate is too rusted and large to open, you must find another way in, but that will be later.
Raziel: Oh well. *humming as he walks into the cave.*
(Raziel comes across a small pool of water).
Raziel: 0~0.W.w..WATER.
(Raziel rolls up in a ball and whimpers).
Elder God: Oh for god's sake, your are young, you retain many of your weaknesses, water, while not fatal, will dissolve your physical form, your fly across. In the spirit realm water stands as thin as air.
Raziel: okay. :(
(Raziel gets across and proceeds to the door, the Elder God gives him a hint even though it's not really needed yet.)
Elder God: In spectral, objects are but shadows.
(Raziel proceeds and for the first time sees the devolved vampires who are playing cards with a human, who they find is cheating and so they eat him).
Raziel: 0.0 What the hell are those!
Elder God: Do you not recognize the children of your brother, Dumah?
Raziel: Whoa, it looks like he had sex with the Sarafan Lord!
Elder God: Tell me about. 0~0 *barf sounds can be heard*
Raziel: I knew my opponents weaknesses, because I was vampire once, so I knew what to do, throw them into spikes, toss them in water, throw them in sunlight or impale their asses.
(Raziel fights the devolved creatures and throws one into the spikes on the wall).
Vampire #1: aggrrhhh.(his head slumps).. *in dying voice* Rosebud.
Raziel: That was the worst imitation ever.
(He proceeds to throw the other one in water).
Vampire #2: But I just ate *glug, glug* I'm supposed to wait 30 mins-
(Raziel dunks the vampire's head in shut him up, he walks up to the block and pushes it up to the small passage above.)
Elder God: Know this: in the spectral you-
Raziel: Oh shut-up you git, you always have to say something about something.
Elder God: Why you little!
(A brick falls out of the sky and hits Raziel on the head.)
Raziel: OW!!
Elder God: That'll teach you.
(Raziel mumbles curses under his breath and proceeds to the door at the end of the passage; he opens the door and walks out towards the Sanctuary of the Clans.)
Raziel: HOLY S#*%! what happened?
Elder God: Kain and your brothers had one hell of a party after your execution.
Raziel: I'll say, damn I love parties.
(The ground shakes violently.)
Raziel: Whoa what's happening?
Elder God: The world has a hangover.
Raziel: 0.o?
Elder God: It got drunk at Kain's party and has been this way sense.
Raziel: Has it tried that egg remedy thing?
Elder God: Yeah, it didn't work.
(Raziel continues on and kills the vampires along the path, he activates the first warp-gate and then proceeds to the abyss, he suddenly hears two vampires talking, he peers around the corner and sees one is dressed like a sailor and another is dressed with pink shorts and a blue short shirt.)
Raziel: 0.0
Elder God: Oh my god.
Gay vamp #1: *in gay-like voice* So that hussy tries to cut in.. *continues to talk*
Gay vamp #2: Oh that sleesh, well have you see jerry lately?
Gay vamp #1: Oh behave.
(Raziel cuts in.)
Raziel: That's it I can't stand this sick and wrong scene here!
(He grabs the sailor one and throws him into the abyss.)
Gay vamp #1: @$$h*%#&!...
(Raziel then impales the second and then chops him into bits.)
Raziel: I'm gonna have nightmares for weeks...
(He walks to the abyss platform.)
Raziel: The place of execution had not changed even a little, my tomb and the womb of my rebirth.
(Raziel is about to walks towards the edge where his territory was but slips on a banana peel *I know, how can a fruit be there* and falls into the abyss.)
Raziel: *fading* not again...
Me: Sorry it took so long I promise to have the 4th part out sooner, Bye!
Me: Hey glad to see you liked the last two parts, I have a little treat for you.
(Raziel calls from behinds large curtains.)
Raziel: Do I have to? :(
Me: YES.
Raziel: Oh all right, shucks.
(The curtains rise to reveal Raziel wearing a light pink tutu and a little angel wings.)
Raziel: I hate you.
Me: Just do it.
Raziel: Now?
Me: Yes.
Raziel: *Singing* I'm a little tea-pot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout, when I get all steamed up hear me shout, tip me over and pour me out.
(Canned clapping can be heard.)
Raziel: Can I go?
Me: Yes fine.
Part three - Vampires, Empires and homovamps?!?!?!?!? ************************************************************** *************************
(After several hours of warping into spectral & material realms, Raziel finally gets bored and walks up to the large iron gate.)
Elder God: The gate is too rusted and large to open, you must find another way in, but that will be later.
Raziel: Oh well. *humming as he walks into the cave.*
(Raziel comes across a small pool of water).
Raziel: 0~0.W.w..WATER.
(Raziel rolls up in a ball and whimpers).
Elder God: Oh for god's sake, your are young, you retain many of your weaknesses, water, while not fatal, will dissolve your physical form, your fly across. In the spirit realm water stands as thin as air.
Raziel: okay. :(
(Raziel gets across and proceeds to the door, the Elder God gives him a hint even though it's not really needed yet.)
Elder God: In spectral, objects are but shadows.
(Raziel proceeds and for the first time sees the devolved vampires who are playing cards with a human, who they find is cheating and so they eat him).
Raziel: 0.0 What the hell are those!
Elder God: Do you not recognize the children of your brother, Dumah?
Raziel: Whoa, it looks like he had sex with the Sarafan Lord!
Elder God: Tell me about. 0~0 *barf sounds can be heard*
Raziel: I knew my opponents weaknesses, because I was vampire once, so I knew what to do, throw them into spikes, toss them in water, throw them in sunlight or impale their asses.
(Raziel fights the devolved creatures and throws one into the spikes on the wall).
Vampire #1: aggrrhhh.(his head slumps).. *in dying voice* Rosebud.
Raziel: That was the worst imitation ever.
(He proceeds to throw the other one in water).
Vampire #2: But I just ate *glug, glug* I'm supposed to wait 30 mins-
(Raziel dunks the vampire's head in shut him up, he walks up to the block and pushes it up to the small passage above.)
Elder God: Know this: in the spectral you-
Raziel: Oh shut-up you git, you always have to say something about something.
Elder God: Why you little!
(A brick falls out of the sky and hits Raziel on the head.)
Raziel: OW!!
Elder God: That'll teach you.
(Raziel mumbles curses under his breath and proceeds to the door at the end of the passage; he opens the door and walks out towards the Sanctuary of the Clans.)
Raziel: HOLY S#*%! what happened?
Elder God: Kain and your brothers had one hell of a party after your execution.
Raziel: I'll say, damn I love parties.
(The ground shakes violently.)
Raziel: Whoa what's happening?
Elder God: The world has a hangover.
Raziel: 0.o?
Elder God: It got drunk at Kain's party and has been this way sense.
Raziel: Has it tried that egg remedy thing?
Elder God: Yeah, it didn't work.
(Raziel continues on and kills the vampires along the path, he activates the first warp-gate and then proceeds to the abyss, he suddenly hears two vampires talking, he peers around the corner and sees one is dressed like a sailor and another is dressed with pink shorts and a blue short shirt.)
Raziel: 0.0
Elder God: Oh my god.
Gay vamp #1: *in gay-like voice* So that hussy tries to cut in.. *continues to talk*
Gay vamp #2: Oh that sleesh, well have you see jerry lately?
Gay vamp #1: Oh behave.
(Raziel cuts in.)
Raziel: That's it I can't stand this sick and wrong scene here!
(He grabs the sailor one and throws him into the abyss.)
Gay vamp #1: @$$h*%#&!...
(Raziel then impales the second and then chops him into bits.)
Raziel: I'm gonna have nightmares for weeks...
(He walks to the abyss platform.)
Raziel: The place of execution had not changed even a little, my tomb and the womb of my rebirth.
(Raziel is about to walks towards the edge where his territory was but slips on a banana peel *I know, how can a fruit be there* and falls into the abyss.)
Raziel: *fading* not again...
Me: Sorry it took so long I promise to have the 4th part out sooner, Bye!