Soul Reaver: Part 5 - To Melchiah's
Me: Sorry about the delay I was just a little short on Ideas.
Raziel: *still a little drunk* khhkfksdei hfjsfshj ballzac!
Me: What?
(Raziel continues to murmur incoherent words until he stumbles out of sight).
Me: 0.o. anyway here's is part 5
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(We come in a few hours after Raziel had gotten stoned and drunk with two Melchiahim vampires who he apparently killed by accident when he was trying to do a balancing act with two spears on his claws, he knocked one into the fire and impaled the other, both were obviously too stoned to notice and died laughing idiotically, So Raziel continues his journey until he stumbles into Necropolis).
Raziel: *No longer drunk but with a HUGE hangover* OW my fricken head!
Elder God: Seems that you had a lot of fun, have you done that before?
Raziel: Yeah back at L.C (Lieutenant Camp.)
Elder God: 0.o ooookkkkkaaaayyy.
(Raziel continues, coming across a vampire hunter who jumps out at him.)
Vamp Hunter: BOO!
Raziel: 0.0 AGHHHH!!!
Vamp Hunter: Sorry I thought you were a vampire.
Raziel: I am.
Vamp Hunter: 0.o you are? (looks closely at Raziel.)
Raziel: DUH!
Vamp Hunter: What happened?
Raziel: Well my @$$hole of a master threw me into the abyss for growing wings.
Vamp Hunter: Ouch, well I guess we're supposed to kill each other right?
Raziel: *Shrugs* I guess.
(They fight and Raziel wins easily.)
Vamp Hunter: Tell my wife I.
(Is stabbed in throat by Raziel.)
Raziel: DON'T EVEN THINK OF DOING A DAMN DYING LINE!
(Along the way he notices Melchiah's clan symbols all over the place and a few posters of the Backstreet boys.)
Raziel: 0.o Well this is definitely Mel's clan, only he had a liking for those gay-sissy bastards.
(He continues a little further and comes across a monument, it depicts Melchiah in his former vampire form.)
My brother Melchiah, stupid looking isn't he, man he is so stupid one day when Kain and us were attacking a village he set himself on fire, then another time he broke Kain's favorite lamp and tried blaming it on Ariel. I mean god what was Kain thinking when he resurrected this dumbass. Well it seems the phrase ' like father like son' is definitely right on the money, his children rot and fall apart like him.
(Raziel kills the vampires around the picture and then walks into the small alcove and encounters his first yet the simplest block puzzle.)
Raziel V.O: *Not in the real game* Here was the first of many block puzzles which I would be driven mad by.
(He completes the puzzle and continues and comes across more stoner Melchiahim vampires.)
Raziel: What is this? Were they buddies of Dejoule, Bane Anacrothe?
Elder God: Possibly.
(He kills them and proceeds into the small Charnel house and then into the warp-gate room and then into the large lake like area.)
Raziel: Great, more water and why is it I have to go all the way over there just to get a block on the ground to enter Mel's lair which is right over there!
Elder God: Oh will stop your bitching and just get going.
(Raz continues and leaps across the lake onto the tiny yet annoying to land on platforms that lead to the other side.)
Raziel: *out of breath* I.hope. I.don't .have to that again much.
(He continues inside and then comes into the small interior crypt, seeing that there is no obvious way out, he goes into spectral to see if he can find a way out. There he sees the first of not so many vampire Wraiths.)
Raziel: O.O
Elder God: These are the souls of vampires who have been trapped in the limbo dance of damnation for too long, they now hunger for souls also, do not allow them to return to their corpses.
Raziel: *staring at the creatures appearance* Why do they look like that?
Elder God: They've been watching "The Frighteners" too much.
Raziel: O.o *slaps forehead and continues to fight wraith.)
Wraith: *is gashed and screams like a little girl.* EKKKKKKKKKKK
Raziel: *Holding head* AHHHH my hangover! God will you shut - up! *Bitch-slaps wraith which apparently kills it.*
(He shakes his head and devours it's soul and continues into the next room and completes the second block puzzle which makes him a little ticked off.)
Raziel: This is ridiculous.
(He completes it and enters the chamber where he has to push the block out of the window and onto the other block. He then moves them to the little doorway that is suspended in the side of the wall.)
Raziel: *sarcastically* Well that was a daring puzzle.
(He walks along the path and enters Melchiah's lair, which seem to be covered in confetti and strewn with beer cans every where.)
Raziel: I really wanted to be in this party.
(He proceeds to Mel's inner chamber; it's puzzles having not been reactivated after Kain's party.)
Raziel: Man he is a slob.
(He proceeds to the area where there is a large misshapen shadow.)
Raziel: Show yourself, Creature!
Melchiah: Do you not recognize me, brother? Am I so changed?
Raziel: Well yeah, you like cross between Jabba the Hut and that G-Mutation from Resident Evil 2.
Melchiah: I think that was a rhetorical question Raziel, anyway, you should have stayed where the master sent you, Raziel. You will find that the bars on Nosgoth have been burned down.
Raziel: Don't change the subject, what has become of my clan? Answer me you little fag, or I will beat an answer from your chapped lips.
Melchiah: There not really mine, they used to belong to some hobo who I killed but that is beside the point, everyone is afraid, sibling. You awake to a world of stoners and Barbie doll fanatics. Do you think that doesn't scare me, I even fear Kain has become one.
Kain: *Very distant* No I've haven't!
Raziel & Melchiah: O.o
Raziel: Enough talk of those horrid dolls - what are you saying?!
Melchiah: I'm saying you are the last. to FRY.
Raziel: Huh?
Melchiah: O.o I mean die.
Raziel: -.- Idiot
(They fight and Raziel tricks his retarded little brother into two rooms with spiked gates and then finally into the large cage with the giant meat grinder in the ceiling.)
Raziel: Tell Melchiah, who is Moebius' new lover and where can I find Kain?
Melchiah: *Out of breath from chasing Raz* I.(huffing) don't know for sure, Dumah I think or Turel, and the master is beyond your reach, he only appears on Fridays and weekends for his usual magic act. He makes himself known when he sees fit - not when commanded.
Raziel: Well, I'm about to pay him a visit and I didn't even bring a cake.
(He pulls the switch, but instead of the grinder mashing Mel into paste, Sonya Blade of MK appears and does her kiss of death on Melchiah, who explodes, and then vanishes.)
Melchiah: * As his soul rises* I am released. from this damn contract, WO WHO!
Raziel: O.o that was weird.
(He eats Melchiah's soul and falls to knees from impact.)
Raziel: Hmmm. taste like meat loaf.
Elder God: You have done well, Raziel.
Raziel: Could have used some salt though, oh yeah!, Am I reduced to this? A ghoul? A fratricide? A food tester?
Elder God: Elevated, Raziel, not reduced. Eating Melchiah's soul has granted you with a new gift. You can now phase through matter in.
Raziel: OH COOL! *Runs into the bars*
Elder God: .the spectral realm. Git.
Raziel: *A little dizzy from doing that* OH. okay.
(He goes spectral and exits Melchiah's lair, before walking away he places a 'For Sale' sign in front of it.)
Raziel: *Humming* Gonna kick some Kain ass yes I am gonna. *is cut off as he slips on another banana peel and falls into the water.* ARRRGGGHHH!!! I'm melting. I'm Melting. Oh what a parody. oh.
Elder God: *under breath* And I thought he hated it when people imitated lines like that.
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Me: Sorry for the delay, I was just a little stumped as to what to do.
Raziel: What is with the fruit?
Me: I will never tell! MUHAHAHAHAH!
Kain: That Barbie joke was uncalled for.
Me: Oh be quit and go fetch the stick.
(Throws a stick and Kain suddenly chases after it like a dog.)
Me: See soon in part 6: Return of the jerk.
Please review and I will give 300 hundred truckloads of weapons, candy and cool stuff.
Me: Sorry about the delay I was just a little short on Ideas.
Raziel: *still a little drunk* khhkfksdei hfjsfshj ballzac!
Me: What?
(Raziel continues to murmur incoherent words until he stumbles out of sight).
Me: 0.o. anyway here's is part 5
************************************************************** *************************
(We come in a few hours after Raziel had gotten stoned and drunk with two Melchiahim vampires who he apparently killed by accident when he was trying to do a balancing act with two spears on his claws, he knocked one into the fire and impaled the other, both were obviously too stoned to notice and died laughing idiotically, So Raziel continues his journey until he stumbles into Necropolis).
Raziel: *No longer drunk but with a HUGE hangover* OW my fricken head!
Elder God: Seems that you had a lot of fun, have you done that before?
Raziel: Yeah back at L.C (Lieutenant Camp.)
Elder God: 0.o ooookkkkkaaaayyy.
(Raziel continues, coming across a vampire hunter who jumps out at him.)
Vamp Hunter: BOO!
Raziel: 0.0 AGHHHH!!!
Vamp Hunter: Sorry I thought you were a vampire.
Raziel: I am.
Vamp Hunter: 0.o you are? (looks closely at Raziel.)
Raziel: DUH!
Vamp Hunter: What happened?
Raziel: Well my @$$hole of a master threw me into the abyss for growing wings.
Vamp Hunter: Ouch, well I guess we're supposed to kill each other right?
Raziel: *Shrugs* I guess.
(They fight and Raziel wins easily.)
Vamp Hunter: Tell my wife I.
(Is stabbed in throat by Raziel.)
Raziel: DON'T EVEN THINK OF DOING A DAMN DYING LINE!
(Along the way he notices Melchiah's clan symbols all over the place and a few posters of the Backstreet boys.)
Raziel: 0.o Well this is definitely Mel's clan, only he had a liking for those gay-sissy bastards.
(He continues a little further and comes across a monument, it depicts Melchiah in his former vampire form.)
My brother Melchiah, stupid looking isn't he, man he is so stupid one day when Kain and us were attacking a village he set himself on fire, then another time he broke Kain's favorite lamp and tried blaming it on Ariel. I mean god what was Kain thinking when he resurrected this dumbass. Well it seems the phrase ' like father like son' is definitely right on the money, his children rot and fall apart like him.
(Raziel kills the vampires around the picture and then walks into the small alcove and encounters his first yet the simplest block puzzle.)
Raziel V.O: *Not in the real game* Here was the first of many block puzzles which I would be driven mad by.
(He completes the puzzle and continues and comes across more stoner Melchiahim vampires.)
Raziel: What is this? Were they buddies of Dejoule, Bane Anacrothe?
Elder God: Possibly.
(He kills them and proceeds into the small Charnel house and then into the warp-gate room and then into the large lake like area.)
Raziel: Great, more water and why is it I have to go all the way over there just to get a block on the ground to enter Mel's lair which is right over there!
Elder God: Oh will stop your bitching and just get going.
(Raz continues and leaps across the lake onto the tiny yet annoying to land on platforms that lead to the other side.)
Raziel: *out of breath* I.hope. I.don't .have to that again much.
(He continues inside and then comes into the small interior crypt, seeing that there is no obvious way out, he goes into spectral to see if he can find a way out. There he sees the first of not so many vampire Wraiths.)
Raziel: O.O
Elder God: These are the souls of vampires who have been trapped in the limbo dance of damnation for too long, they now hunger for souls also, do not allow them to return to their corpses.
Raziel: *staring at the creatures appearance* Why do they look like that?
Elder God: They've been watching "The Frighteners" too much.
Raziel: O.o *slaps forehead and continues to fight wraith.)
Wraith: *is gashed and screams like a little girl.* EKKKKKKKKKKK
Raziel: *Holding head* AHHHH my hangover! God will you shut - up! *Bitch-slaps wraith which apparently kills it.*
(He shakes his head and devours it's soul and continues into the next room and completes the second block puzzle which makes him a little ticked off.)
Raziel: This is ridiculous.
(He completes it and enters the chamber where he has to push the block out of the window and onto the other block. He then moves them to the little doorway that is suspended in the side of the wall.)
Raziel: *sarcastically* Well that was a daring puzzle.
(He walks along the path and enters Melchiah's lair, which seem to be covered in confetti and strewn with beer cans every where.)
Raziel: I really wanted to be in this party.
(He proceeds to Mel's inner chamber; it's puzzles having not been reactivated after Kain's party.)
Raziel: Man he is a slob.
(He proceeds to the area where there is a large misshapen shadow.)
Raziel: Show yourself, Creature!
Melchiah: Do you not recognize me, brother? Am I so changed?
Raziel: Well yeah, you like cross between Jabba the Hut and that G-Mutation from Resident Evil 2.
Melchiah: I think that was a rhetorical question Raziel, anyway, you should have stayed where the master sent you, Raziel. You will find that the bars on Nosgoth have been burned down.
Raziel: Don't change the subject, what has become of my clan? Answer me you little fag, or I will beat an answer from your chapped lips.
Melchiah: There not really mine, they used to belong to some hobo who I killed but that is beside the point, everyone is afraid, sibling. You awake to a world of stoners and Barbie doll fanatics. Do you think that doesn't scare me, I even fear Kain has become one.
Kain: *Very distant* No I've haven't!
Raziel & Melchiah: O.o
Raziel: Enough talk of those horrid dolls - what are you saying?!
Melchiah: I'm saying you are the last. to FRY.
Raziel: Huh?
Melchiah: O.o I mean die.
Raziel: -.- Idiot
(They fight and Raziel tricks his retarded little brother into two rooms with spiked gates and then finally into the large cage with the giant meat grinder in the ceiling.)
Raziel: Tell Melchiah, who is Moebius' new lover and where can I find Kain?
Melchiah: *Out of breath from chasing Raz* I.(huffing) don't know for sure, Dumah I think or Turel, and the master is beyond your reach, he only appears on Fridays and weekends for his usual magic act. He makes himself known when he sees fit - not when commanded.
Raziel: Well, I'm about to pay him a visit and I didn't even bring a cake.
(He pulls the switch, but instead of the grinder mashing Mel into paste, Sonya Blade of MK appears and does her kiss of death on Melchiah, who explodes, and then vanishes.)
Melchiah: * As his soul rises* I am released. from this damn contract, WO WHO!
Raziel: O.o that was weird.
(He eats Melchiah's soul and falls to knees from impact.)
Raziel: Hmmm. taste like meat loaf.
Elder God: You have done well, Raziel.
Raziel: Could have used some salt though, oh yeah!, Am I reduced to this? A ghoul? A fratricide? A food tester?
Elder God: Elevated, Raziel, not reduced. Eating Melchiah's soul has granted you with a new gift. You can now phase through matter in.
Raziel: OH COOL! *Runs into the bars*
Elder God: .the spectral realm. Git.
Raziel: *A little dizzy from doing that* OH. okay.
(He goes spectral and exits Melchiah's lair, before walking away he places a 'For Sale' sign in front of it.)
Raziel: *Humming* Gonna kick some Kain ass yes I am gonna. *is cut off as he slips on another banana peel and falls into the water.* ARRRGGGHHH!!! I'm melting. I'm Melting. Oh what a parody. oh.
Elder God: *under breath* And I thought he hated it when people imitated lines like that.
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Me: Sorry for the delay, I was just a little stumped as to what to do.
Raziel: What is with the fruit?
Me: I will never tell! MUHAHAHAHAH!
Kain: That Barbie joke was uncalled for.
Me: Oh be quit and go fetch the stick.
(Throws a stick and Kain suddenly chases after it like a dog.)
Me: See soon in part 6: Return of the jerk.
Please review and I will give 300 hundred truckloads of weapons, candy and cool stuff.