Author's Note: Blah...I'm just going to stick with this story, and only this one...I can't have so many different ideas shooting about at once. Sorry about that...*Yawns and then curls up on his bed with the computer* Oh, the joys...I do think you'll enjoy this chapter, to say the least...^_~
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James, Sirius and Remus had wandered down the stairs of the large school, finally arriving in the corridor that held the Great Hall. James and Sirius hadn't been holding hands most of the way, but Remus could tell that they wanted to do so. Sort of like a third wheel is what he felt like...
"You know, you two," Remus began, "I think I'm going to head off and talk with Professor McGonagall. I forgot that I had some papers I needed to work with..."
"Oh...Not hungry, Remus?" James asked, slowly coming to a stop with the other boy.
"No...Well, I -was-, but I don't have much time to eat..."
"Oh, well...Sorry to lose you, then," Sirius said, a hint of sadness in his voice. "Hopefully you'll be done soon and we can talk during dinner?"
Remus smiled, then nodded. "Mm-hmm...I'll see you two later!" Leaving it at that, the young werewolf walked off, back in the direction that they had come from.
Both James and Sirius looked at each other curiously before a light sigh came from the shorter one. "Ah, well...I guess it's just us, then?"
Sirius nodded, waving his hand in front of the door. "Yes, indeed...Go on, then. You first."
"Why thank you," James said with a smile, walking past Sirius and into the Great Hall.
The Great Hall was surprisingly full for it being the time was. The Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables was quite active, while the Slytherin and Gryffindor's weren't. A group of Hufflepuff girls had their eyes on Sirius as he walked in, all beginning to hush their voices and whisper. Sirius had learned to ignore it, but he was curious as to why exactly they were doing so. He figured it was just a his little fan club of his, but when he saw who was in the center, his heart seemed to sink.
"James," he whispered, tugging on the other's robes quickly. Once James had stopped, he looked at Sirius curiously.
"What is it?"
"Look. It's my ex-girlfriend, Sophia Redmonds and her cronies..." Pointing over to the group of the Hufflepuff girls, Sirius scowled a little.
"Well, what's the problem with her? You two left off on good terms, didn't you?"
Sirius chuckled nervously. "Erm...Well...I suppose..."
"What do you mean, 'you suppose'?" James asked.
Sirius' hands fidgeted about in front of his robes. "Well, it was a good two weeks ago...Don't you remember?"
"For the most part...But come on, Sirius. Don't let her get to you, hm? Let's just go eat." James began to walk again, despite all the sniggers and whispering that he heard coming from the group of Hufflepuff girls. Though a little bothered still, Sirius followed.
James sat down in front of an empty plate, tapping his fingers against the tabletop. He was good at listening in on things, and from what he had gathered from the whispers of the girls behind him, Sophia was going to talk with Sirius. What about, though?
"She's going to speak with you," James said casually, eyeing the plate instead of turning to Sirius. If the girls knew that they knew, then they might not do it...James was beginning to let his curiousity get the best of him...
"Oh really?" Sirius said questioningly as he sat himself down. He ran a hand through his raven black tresses, impatiently awaiting one of the girls to come over to him. Sure enough, one did. And it was Sophia...Go figure. James was getting good at this.
"Sirius, d'you mind if I speak with you?"
"Not at all," Sirius replied cooly, turning himself around so he could see her better. She looked just the same as she always did...Thin and all with long flowing strands of perfectly straight auburn hair, soft textured skin that was a pale color...
"Umm...Alone?" she added, eyeing James almost viciously. Did she know about them? If she did...What a powerful weapon she had...
"Fine," Sirius sighed, lifting himself from his seat. She smiled softly at him and took ahold of his hand, taking him right outside the Great Hall.
"What is it?" he asked, trying his best to keep the curiousity he held within down to a minimum.
"Well...It's rather important...You remember what we did the day before we broke up, right?"
Sirius nodded. How could he forget? That had been a great night for him, but when he saw her the next day with some other boy, he dumped her on the spot. And after all they had done...He really felt like he loved her. But how could he love someone who cheated on him? Memories weren't something Sirius enjoyed all so much, but he couldn't hate the girl. She was his first, and from what he had gathered, he was hers. But whatever this was, it pertained to that. Sirius' hands found their way to the front pockets of his robes, stiffening into fists as he stood there.
"Well...I was supposed to...Start my womanly cycle about a week ago...and...I still haven't. I went to Pomfrey, and she told me something rather interesting... "
Oh god, Sirius thought. Was she going to say what he thought she was going to say?
"I'm pregnant," she finally said, looking away while she bit on her lower lip.
She was. How...could this have happened? They took every precaution that night...But there was always a chance that it wouldn't have been enough. Apparently it wasn't. The only thing that could slip past Sirius' lips was stutters, his hands sliding out of the pockets and raising over his face. How...
"I should have told you sooner, but after you ... Well, broke up with me, I figured you wouldn't want to have anything to do with me. I guess I was just afraid."
"Damn right I didn't want anything to do with you," Sirius blurted out, a heavy sigh following. "Do you know what you put me through? After all of that?"
Sophia nodded slowly. "I...I know. I don't know what came over me, but I-"
"But nothing, Sophia. You cheated on me, and even after I gave myself to you." Sirius was...a mix of emotions right now. He was surprised that he was to be a father, but at the same time, part of him was happy about it. Most of the rest of the boy was just angry at all the things that had been brought back to him by hearing her speak.
Looking down to the ground, Sophia sighed. "I...I really don't know what else to tell you. I still love you, but I don't -want- a child. I'm only 16, Sirius. I have a whole 'nother year before I graduate from here. That'll be really difficult with a child, you know. I'm thinking I might go visit Pomfrey and see what she can help me get for removal of the baby."
Sirius' eyes widened. He'd always been against taking a life, especially one so young that would have a lot to enjoy. Shaking his head, his arms folded over his chest with a sigh. "Don't you even think about it. It's my child too, you know. Just because you don't want it doesn't mean I don't also."
"What?" Sophia looked up at Sirius with a quirked brow. "What are you saying?"
"I..." Sirius stuttered. What...was he saying? Maybe it was some spur of the moment, but something inside him made him say was he was about to. "I want the child."
"Y-You what?"
"You heard...me. I heard me. I want the child." Sirius felt...oddly proud of what he had said...But was a child really something he could handle? He was only 16, and life wasn't exactly peachy. Spending his whole seventh year with a child? And what would he tell his parents...? 'Hi mum and dad, guess what? I knocked up a gel and she didn't want the child, so I have them now. Hope you don't mind!' Yeah right.
Sophia's eyes were just as wide as Sirius', and her hands were over her heart. "Are you serious?"
All the boy could do was nod.
"You're...absolutely positive about this...?"
"Y-Yes...I want the child."
"But why?"
"Because...it may not be something you want, but the child doesn't know what's going on...You prevent it from living its life, then it'd just be a terrible decision on your part...Seeing as it's mine also, I want to give it the life -you- don't."
"But -I'm- the one who has to carry it!"
"Then carry it! Damnit, Sophia, if not for the child, then for me, okay? You know I'd never forgive you for what you did. But, by giving the child life, I'll be able to. It means that you're sorry for what you did and that you're willing to go through this pain in return for what I had felt."
Sophia sighed sharply, turning away. She'd never have been able to live with herself having Sirius mad at her, but she should have known that would have happened, seeing as what she had done was almost unforgiveable by many. Lowering her hands to her tummy, she looked up at Sirius.
"If it's what you want, I'll do it."
"I do want it...and I want to be able to forgive you."
"I want you to forgive me, Sirius. I love you, and I can't stand having you mad at me..."
"Well, do this, then. I want you to understand just what it is I felt these past weeks."
"I know for a fact you only felt that way for a while. The whole school's talking, you know."
"About?"
"You and James. Ever since he broke up with Lily...You two have been hanging out a lot. Not to mention you were suspended. Severus Snape has been wandering about spattering rumors that you two are dating."
"Why hasn't anyone said anything to me about this, then?"
"Because no one wants to invoke the wrath of Sirius Black."
A smirk was threatening to appear on Sirius' face, but he kept it back, his expression still serious. "Well they're smart, then. I'd kick anybody's butt."
Sophia chuckled. "Not saying you wouldn't, but watch yourself. Some of the students are believing the rumors...And I daresay it's not a rumor, is it?"
Peering away for a moment, Sirius sighed.
"So it -is- true."
"Yes. But...You can't tell anyone, alright?"
"Lips are sealed. But...When did it happen?"
"A week after we broke up."
"How?"
"James and Lily had a fight. He came to me and...well....things happened, I suppose. Everything's alright with Lily, though. I guess James spoke with her earlier on while I was gone."
"Well, that suspension of yours and Severus' also flung around some rumors..."
"I wouldn't doubt it." Sirius sighed again and ran a hand through his hair, idly messing with one of the black strands.
"Just be careful, hm? I do worry about you."
"It's oddly shown, but I believe you. I just wish you hadn't..."
"Sirius, don't bring it up again. We've got our solution right here." While she spoke, Sophia took one of Sirius' hands and placed it on her stomach.
"Yes, yes we do," Sirius agreed, slowly pulling his hand away. "But...that solution won't be here for another nine months. How in the world am I supposed to keep James' and my secret for that long? I mean...How far along will you be when we return to school?"
"I should be somewhere around six months. I do believe I'll show terribly, but I don't think anyone is going to say anything. As a seventh year, many kids wouldn't pay any attention to it...If everything goes alright, I mean..." Sophia's voice seemed to waiver as she spoke.
"Well why wouldn't it?"
"Because, Sirius...What about my aunt? What will she say when she hears I got pregnant?" Sophia's eyes were glittering, though from the fear of what would happen when she returned home.
"I don't know! I imagine it'd be the same response my parents will have."
"But it's -different- for a girl, you know...I mean...You don't have to live through it.."
"I know that. But you've got someone there to tell you what to do, and someone to help you...Whilst I am in the dark most of the time...We've got a lot of planning to do."
"Yes...We do. Only if you're sure, though..."
"I told you I am. I don't want to back out of this."
"You're so...grown up, Sirius. What caused this change?"
"Things..." the boy replied, a light sigh escaping him. "I just...I think..."
"You told me what you think. I'm...willing to do this."
"Then I guess it's set, huh?"
"Yes..." Sophia sighed. "Sirius, I don't want to do something you'll regret. I'm only doing this -for- you."
"I won't make you do anything you don't want- "
"Sirius, shush. I want you to forgive me, and I want you to be happy. If it means going through this, then I'm willing to do it."
Just as Sirius was about to lean in and hug Sophia, a voice called her from the Great Hall. In a matter of seconds, the little group of girls Sophia had been hanging out with had appeared. They stopped dead in their tracks, however, when they noticed Sirius still standing there.
"Are you...Finished speaking with him?" the tallest girl asked. Sirius thought she went by the name of Angelica, but he wasn't sure.
"I'm done," she replied as she turned to look back at them, though her gaze quickly returned to Sirius. "Aren't we?"
Sirius nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah." His words caused all the girls to giggle in an almost an uproar, of soft voices. In response, Sirius sighed to himself.
"This is the...Last chance to pull out, if you want..." Sophia said.
"I've made my decision," Sirius stated again, looking down toward the ground. "Just...Speak to me if anything changes, hm?"
Sophia smiled and reached out to rub Sirius' arm. "I'll let you know...Until then, Sirius."
"See you later, then, Sophia..." When she pulled her hand from his arm, he looked up just in time to catch the girls wandering off toward the stairs.
Oh how the day had changed...Sirius was still standing out in the hall even after the girls disappeared from view, pondering. If life was any different than it was now, the world would...be completely and utterly strange. But it was going to be different, that was inevitable. So many big life changes had occurred at this moment, and so many choices had been erased. With this child, Sirius would be inhibited to do so many things...But he couldn't let that stop him. He was...so exanimate as he thought, a blank expression on his face as he found his way to the wall. Just thinking about how this would affect him and James was something of a challenge...A baby would change many things. But, it wouldn't be here for a good nine months, which meant it wouldn't be here until around Christmas...That was quite some time away...
A voice had interrupted Sirius' thoughts, causing the boy to jump from the wall. "Sirius?"
It was James...He was worried to see if something had happened.
"Oh, James. Hullo."
"Something happen?" he asked curiously, moving closer to the other.
"If only you knew..." Sirius whispered to himself, his voice growing in volume for an actual response, "I think it'd be best if we talked about it somewhere...more secure."
"More secure? Is it that bad?" James' eyes locked onto Sirius', the worried gaze boring through him.
"It's...not quite bad, but it's a big change, I'll tell you that. Think we could go now? I need to get it off my chest..."
"Whatever's best for you, Paddy. Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Sirius replied, raising a hand to his forehead. "Maybe the dormitories..."
"But...that's sort of a busy place..."
"Well, damnit. What about...an empty classroom?"
"Good idea, but people barging in..."
"Who'd barge into an empty classroom?"
James sighed a little and shook his head before he said knowingly, "Teachers."
"Oh." Sirius replied, feeling a tad stupid.
"Well, I doubt they'd be in them, you know? It's a day off...The teachers are probably in their offices."
"Most offices are adjacent to their classrooms, James."
"Well, maybe we should just go to the dormitories..."
"Good idea. Let's go." Sirius smiled softly and took hold of James' hand, leading him up to the Gryffindor Tower.
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Setting James down on the bed, Sirius let go of the boy's hand and slowly stepped back. The look that was in the younger boy's eyes was a mix of curiousity and worry. There might have been more, but they were the most prominent. His hands fidgeting in front of him, Sirius began to pace back and forth in front of the bed. He finally stopped a minute or two later, James still looking at him.
"I suppose I should start, then." he said, biting on his lip afterward.
"Only when you're ready. Don't feel rushed, alright? It's not like you -have- to tell me right now." James was quite the calm, collected person...Even if he was dying to know what it was. Thinking of Sirius' well-being was one of the things the boy did often.
Sirius had to explain. "But I -need- to...I have to get this off of my chest. It's a rather large weight and I'm afraid I might just burst if I don't."
"Then please do..."
"I don't know where to begin..." Sirius sighed with frustration, his arms pulling close to his body as he began to pace again. He'd never been so nervous, nor worried in his whole life. What would James say if he was to tell the boy that he was to be with child?
"Well, start with the thing you think is the biggest..."
Now, which was the biggest? The fact that he had sex and got a girl pregnant, or the fact that he was to have the child? There was a big debate going on within that clever head of Sirius Black, but a decision finally arose. "I got...a girl pregnant."
James' eyes let go of all the worry and curiousity, hastily replacing them with surprise. He cupped a hand over his mouth, though the gasp was quite loud. The two just stared at each other for a couple seconds before James let the hand fall down.
"Who? When? What?"
"Sophia Redmonds."
"You're old girlfriend?! When did this happen?!" His heightened voice wasn't out of anger, though he'd be quite pissed to find out that Sirius had slept with someone while they had gone out. They loved each other, and James trusted Sirius completely. If this happened while they were going out...James would just have to deal with it.
"It happened...about a week or two before you and I went out..."
James sighed, relieved. He remembered just how much in love those two were...But he also remembered just what happened...At that moment, it seemed to click. Sirius had told James about his first time...It was something the older one was quite ecstatic about...Until Sophia had been found with that other man.
"Oh."
"What do you mean, 'oh'?"
"Oh...I see."
"Ah...Sorry then. I don't mean to be so snappy. I'm just really worried..."
"Well, what about? I mean...You know she doesn't want to keep it." His tone seemed to change, however, when he caught the look in Sirius' eyes. "...Does she?"
"Well...-she- doesn't..." Sirius' voice had lowered so much that James had to strain his ears just to catch that.
"What?"
"I said...-She- doesn't."
"...But..." James had finally gotten it. This...was gigantic news... "You do?!"
Sirius slowly nodded.
"Oh...Oh my." James lifted the hand over his mouth again. He was just...quite surprised by this. Sirius, with a child? What possessed the boy to want something so...time consuming and so...important? James wondered if Sirius was trying to fill some kind of...hole in his life...There was only one question remaining: "Why?"
"Well...Where to begin with -this-...?"
"I don't know, but I want to know."
"I guess..." Sirius began, a heavy sigh slipping past his lips, "I guess I just don't want the child to miss out on life. I mean, it was conceived out of love...and Sophia just wanted to rid herself of it. She figured I wouldn't want us to have it, and it'd be a burden on the both of us..."
"But I'm guessing you felt differently," James mused.
"Quite so...Everything has a right to live, doesn't it? Even if it's only been around for a week or two? It's still alive, and living things deserve to live."
"Such a mouthful," James added, trying to lighten the mood. It seemed to work, seeing as Sirius let out a small chuckle before continuing.
"Yes, yes it is...But you agree, don't you?" The long haired one smiled lightly when he saw James nod. "Well then, you can see why I told her I wanted it."
"Well, for the most part...But you know how much time this child is going to take from you? Sirius, youth is one of the most rare and precious things this world has. If you give it up, I think you'd regret it."
It was almost as if James was trying to discourage Sirius from continuing with this, but he couldn't let that happen. His mind was racing, as well as his heart, but he needed to continue.
"I don't think I will. What better time -than- my youth to take care of a child? It would be much easier to take care of it while I'm young than when I'm older...Don't you get it?"
"What I don't get is why you're letting yourself think that way, Sirius. A child, I can understand, but right now? You have school!"
"It won't be for another eight or nine months, James! We'll be half-way through the school year before it comes...I mean, from what I managed to straighten out, the baby will be here around Christmas...That's two whole weeks for me to learn and grow to what the baby needs. I'm quite sure that everything will work out."
"Did you speak with the Headmaster about this? What about your parents? Did you even think about what they're going to say?"
That was a hit. Sirius had barely even thought about what was going to happen with them. Dumbledore, he hadn't even considered...His parents, he was sure he could convince. They'd listen to him...In fact, it would be quite the nice cushion for when he told them he was dating his best friend..."Hullo Mum and Dad, I've been dating James for over four months and I got a girl pregnant...So you don't have to worry about the Black line faulting any!" Yeah right.
"No, I didn't," Sirius replied, a light huff passing his lips. He fell next to James on the bed and sighed heavily. He felt himself being pulled into the other's lap, a soft textured hand running through his raven black tresses.
"Well, that's a big thing. I suppose you'll be wanting to work on that...but for the time being, we'll just stick to being calm and running our normal lives...Hm?" James looked down into Sirius' eyes and smiled softly.
Sirius nodded gently and lifted an arm around James' back, pulling him down into a soft kiss. Surprised as he was, James kissed back, slowly letting his tongue slip past his lips and lick around Sirius' lips. After what seemed like forever, James lifted himself from the kiss, the smile still lingering on his face.
"Have you thought of a name?" James asked.
"Not yet. It's been less than a month...I don't even know if it is a boy or a girl. When I know that, then I'll think of those." With another small chuckle, Sirius nuzzled against James' thigh.
"Well, that's fine...I just want you to know what you're getting yourself into...Or rather, what you're getting...us into..."
Sirius' worst fear had just been demolished. James was going to be there with him...Now it seemed like an even better thing.
"You're...You're going to help with me?"
"You know I am," James said with a wider smile, having caught the look on the other boy's face.
"Oh, James...That's...just wonderful..." Sirius squeezed James' thigh with his hand as he lifted himself up, catching the lips that were owned by the other boy. Things didn't seem so terrible now...If everything went how Sirius wanted it to, he'd have a family...
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Author's Note: Did you expect that? Hmm...Dunno if I did myself ^^; Well, please review...Cause even if you don't, I do suppose I'll keep writing...
"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ = Scene/Time Change
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James, Sirius and Remus had wandered down the stairs of the large school, finally arriving in the corridor that held the Great Hall. James and Sirius hadn't been holding hands most of the way, but Remus could tell that they wanted to do so. Sort of like a third wheel is what he felt like...
"You know, you two," Remus began, "I think I'm going to head off and talk with Professor McGonagall. I forgot that I had some papers I needed to work with..."
"Oh...Not hungry, Remus?" James asked, slowly coming to a stop with the other boy.
"No...Well, I -was-, but I don't have much time to eat..."
"Oh, well...Sorry to lose you, then," Sirius said, a hint of sadness in his voice. "Hopefully you'll be done soon and we can talk during dinner?"
Remus smiled, then nodded. "Mm-hmm...I'll see you two later!" Leaving it at that, the young werewolf walked off, back in the direction that they had come from.
Both James and Sirius looked at each other curiously before a light sigh came from the shorter one. "Ah, well...I guess it's just us, then?"
Sirius nodded, waving his hand in front of the door. "Yes, indeed...Go on, then. You first."
"Why thank you," James said with a smile, walking past Sirius and into the Great Hall.
The Great Hall was surprisingly full for it being the time was. The Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables was quite active, while the Slytherin and Gryffindor's weren't. A group of Hufflepuff girls had their eyes on Sirius as he walked in, all beginning to hush their voices and whisper. Sirius had learned to ignore it, but he was curious as to why exactly they were doing so. He figured it was just a his little fan club of his, but when he saw who was in the center, his heart seemed to sink.
"James," he whispered, tugging on the other's robes quickly. Once James had stopped, he looked at Sirius curiously.
"What is it?"
"Look. It's my ex-girlfriend, Sophia Redmonds and her cronies..." Pointing over to the group of the Hufflepuff girls, Sirius scowled a little.
"Well, what's the problem with her? You two left off on good terms, didn't you?"
Sirius chuckled nervously. "Erm...Well...I suppose..."
"What do you mean, 'you suppose'?" James asked.
Sirius' hands fidgeted about in front of his robes. "Well, it was a good two weeks ago...Don't you remember?"
"For the most part...But come on, Sirius. Don't let her get to you, hm? Let's just go eat." James began to walk again, despite all the sniggers and whispering that he heard coming from the group of Hufflepuff girls. Though a little bothered still, Sirius followed.
James sat down in front of an empty plate, tapping his fingers against the tabletop. He was good at listening in on things, and from what he had gathered from the whispers of the girls behind him, Sophia was going to talk with Sirius. What about, though?
"She's going to speak with you," James said casually, eyeing the plate instead of turning to Sirius. If the girls knew that they knew, then they might not do it...James was beginning to let his curiousity get the best of him...
"Oh really?" Sirius said questioningly as he sat himself down. He ran a hand through his raven black tresses, impatiently awaiting one of the girls to come over to him. Sure enough, one did. And it was Sophia...Go figure. James was getting good at this.
"Sirius, d'you mind if I speak with you?"
"Not at all," Sirius replied cooly, turning himself around so he could see her better. She looked just the same as she always did...Thin and all with long flowing strands of perfectly straight auburn hair, soft textured skin that was a pale color...
"Umm...Alone?" she added, eyeing James almost viciously. Did she know about them? If she did...What a powerful weapon she had...
"Fine," Sirius sighed, lifting himself from his seat. She smiled softly at him and took ahold of his hand, taking him right outside the Great Hall.
"What is it?" he asked, trying his best to keep the curiousity he held within down to a minimum.
"Well...It's rather important...You remember what we did the day before we broke up, right?"
Sirius nodded. How could he forget? That had been a great night for him, but when he saw her the next day with some other boy, he dumped her on the spot. And after all they had done...He really felt like he loved her. But how could he love someone who cheated on him? Memories weren't something Sirius enjoyed all so much, but he couldn't hate the girl. She was his first, and from what he had gathered, he was hers. But whatever this was, it pertained to that. Sirius' hands found their way to the front pockets of his robes, stiffening into fists as he stood there.
"Well...I was supposed to...Start my womanly cycle about a week ago...and...I still haven't. I went to Pomfrey, and she told me something rather interesting... "
Oh god, Sirius thought. Was she going to say what he thought she was going to say?
"I'm pregnant," she finally said, looking away while she bit on her lower lip.
She was. How...could this have happened? They took every precaution that night...But there was always a chance that it wouldn't have been enough. Apparently it wasn't. The only thing that could slip past Sirius' lips was stutters, his hands sliding out of the pockets and raising over his face. How...
"I should have told you sooner, but after you ... Well, broke up with me, I figured you wouldn't want to have anything to do with me. I guess I was just afraid."
"Damn right I didn't want anything to do with you," Sirius blurted out, a heavy sigh following. "Do you know what you put me through? After all of that?"
Sophia nodded slowly. "I...I know. I don't know what came over me, but I-"
"But nothing, Sophia. You cheated on me, and even after I gave myself to you." Sirius was...a mix of emotions right now. He was surprised that he was to be a father, but at the same time, part of him was happy about it. Most of the rest of the boy was just angry at all the things that had been brought back to him by hearing her speak.
Looking down to the ground, Sophia sighed. "I...I really don't know what else to tell you. I still love you, but I don't -want- a child. I'm only 16, Sirius. I have a whole 'nother year before I graduate from here. That'll be really difficult with a child, you know. I'm thinking I might go visit Pomfrey and see what she can help me get for removal of the baby."
Sirius' eyes widened. He'd always been against taking a life, especially one so young that would have a lot to enjoy. Shaking his head, his arms folded over his chest with a sigh. "Don't you even think about it. It's my child too, you know. Just because you don't want it doesn't mean I don't also."
"What?" Sophia looked up at Sirius with a quirked brow. "What are you saying?"
"I..." Sirius stuttered. What...was he saying? Maybe it was some spur of the moment, but something inside him made him say was he was about to. "I want the child."
"Y-You what?"
"You heard...me. I heard me. I want the child." Sirius felt...oddly proud of what he had said...But was a child really something he could handle? He was only 16, and life wasn't exactly peachy. Spending his whole seventh year with a child? And what would he tell his parents...? 'Hi mum and dad, guess what? I knocked up a gel and she didn't want the child, so I have them now. Hope you don't mind!' Yeah right.
Sophia's eyes were just as wide as Sirius', and her hands were over her heart. "Are you serious?"
All the boy could do was nod.
"You're...absolutely positive about this...?"
"Y-Yes...I want the child."
"But why?"
"Because...it may not be something you want, but the child doesn't know what's going on...You prevent it from living its life, then it'd just be a terrible decision on your part...Seeing as it's mine also, I want to give it the life -you- don't."
"But -I'm- the one who has to carry it!"
"Then carry it! Damnit, Sophia, if not for the child, then for me, okay? You know I'd never forgive you for what you did. But, by giving the child life, I'll be able to. It means that you're sorry for what you did and that you're willing to go through this pain in return for what I had felt."
Sophia sighed sharply, turning away. She'd never have been able to live with herself having Sirius mad at her, but she should have known that would have happened, seeing as what she had done was almost unforgiveable by many. Lowering her hands to her tummy, she looked up at Sirius.
"If it's what you want, I'll do it."
"I do want it...and I want to be able to forgive you."
"I want you to forgive me, Sirius. I love you, and I can't stand having you mad at me..."
"Well, do this, then. I want you to understand just what it is I felt these past weeks."
"I know for a fact you only felt that way for a while. The whole school's talking, you know."
"About?"
"You and James. Ever since he broke up with Lily...You two have been hanging out a lot. Not to mention you were suspended. Severus Snape has been wandering about spattering rumors that you two are dating."
"Why hasn't anyone said anything to me about this, then?"
"Because no one wants to invoke the wrath of Sirius Black."
A smirk was threatening to appear on Sirius' face, but he kept it back, his expression still serious. "Well they're smart, then. I'd kick anybody's butt."
Sophia chuckled. "Not saying you wouldn't, but watch yourself. Some of the students are believing the rumors...And I daresay it's not a rumor, is it?"
Peering away for a moment, Sirius sighed.
"So it -is- true."
"Yes. But...You can't tell anyone, alright?"
"Lips are sealed. But...When did it happen?"
"A week after we broke up."
"How?"
"James and Lily had a fight. He came to me and...well....things happened, I suppose. Everything's alright with Lily, though. I guess James spoke with her earlier on while I was gone."
"Well, that suspension of yours and Severus' also flung around some rumors..."
"I wouldn't doubt it." Sirius sighed again and ran a hand through his hair, idly messing with one of the black strands.
"Just be careful, hm? I do worry about you."
"It's oddly shown, but I believe you. I just wish you hadn't..."
"Sirius, don't bring it up again. We've got our solution right here." While she spoke, Sophia took one of Sirius' hands and placed it on her stomach.
"Yes, yes we do," Sirius agreed, slowly pulling his hand away. "But...that solution won't be here for another nine months. How in the world am I supposed to keep James' and my secret for that long? I mean...How far along will you be when we return to school?"
"I should be somewhere around six months. I do believe I'll show terribly, but I don't think anyone is going to say anything. As a seventh year, many kids wouldn't pay any attention to it...If everything goes alright, I mean..." Sophia's voice seemed to waiver as she spoke.
"Well why wouldn't it?"
"Because, Sirius...What about my aunt? What will she say when she hears I got pregnant?" Sophia's eyes were glittering, though from the fear of what would happen when she returned home.
"I don't know! I imagine it'd be the same response my parents will have."
"But it's -different- for a girl, you know...I mean...You don't have to live through it.."
"I know that. But you've got someone there to tell you what to do, and someone to help you...Whilst I am in the dark most of the time...We've got a lot of planning to do."
"Yes...We do. Only if you're sure, though..."
"I told you I am. I don't want to back out of this."
"You're so...grown up, Sirius. What caused this change?"
"Things..." the boy replied, a light sigh escaping him. "I just...I think..."
"You told me what you think. I'm...willing to do this."
"Then I guess it's set, huh?"
"Yes..." Sophia sighed. "Sirius, I don't want to do something you'll regret. I'm only doing this -for- you."
"I won't make you do anything you don't want- "
"Sirius, shush. I want you to forgive me, and I want you to be happy. If it means going through this, then I'm willing to do it."
Just as Sirius was about to lean in and hug Sophia, a voice called her from the Great Hall. In a matter of seconds, the little group of girls Sophia had been hanging out with had appeared. They stopped dead in their tracks, however, when they noticed Sirius still standing there.
"Are you...Finished speaking with him?" the tallest girl asked. Sirius thought she went by the name of Angelica, but he wasn't sure.
"I'm done," she replied as she turned to look back at them, though her gaze quickly returned to Sirius. "Aren't we?"
Sirius nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah." His words caused all the girls to giggle in an almost an uproar, of soft voices. In response, Sirius sighed to himself.
"This is the...Last chance to pull out, if you want..." Sophia said.
"I've made my decision," Sirius stated again, looking down toward the ground. "Just...Speak to me if anything changes, hm?"
Sophia smiled and reached out to rub Sirius' arm. "I'll let you know...Until then, Sirius."
"See you later, then, Sophia..." When she pulled her hand from his arm, he looked up just in time to catch the girls wandering off toward the stairs.
Oh how the day had changed...Sirius was still standing out in the hall even after the girls disappeared from view, pondering. If life was any different than it was now, the world would...be completely and utterly strange. But it was going to be different, that was inevitable. So many big life changes had occurred at this moment, and so many choices had been erased. With this child, Sirius would be inhibited to do so many things...But he couldn't let that stop him. He was...so exanimate as he thought, a blank expression on his face as he found his way to the wall. Just thinking about how this would affect him and James was something of a challenge...A baby would change many things. But, it wouldn't be here for a good nine months, which meant it wouldn't be here until around Christmas...That was quite some time away...
A voice had interrupted Sirius' thoughts, causing the boy to jump from the wall. "Sirius?"
It was James...He was worried to see if something had happened.
"Oh, James. Hullo."
"Something happen?" he asked curiously, moving closer to the other.
"If only you knew..." Sirius whispered to himself, his voice growing in volume for an actual response, "I think it'd be best if we talked about it somewhere...more secure."
"More secure? Is it that bad?" James' eyes locked onto Sirius', the worried gaze boring through him.
"It's...not quite bad, but it's a big change, I'll tell you that. Think we could go now? I need to get it off my chest..."
"Whatever's best for you, Paddy. Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Sirius replied, raising a hand to his forehead. "Maybe the dormitories..."
"But...that's sort of a busy place..."
"Well, damnit. What about...an empty classroom?"
"Good idea, but people barging in..."
"Who'd barge into an empty classroom?"
James sighed a little and shook his head before he said knowingly, "Teachers."
"Oh." Sirius replied, feeling a tad stupid.
"Well, I doubt they'd be in them, you know? It's a day off...The teachers are probably in their offices."
"Most offices are adjacent to their classrooms, James."
"Well, maybe we should just go to the dormitories..."
"Good idea. Let's go." Sirius smiled softly and took hold of James' hand, leading him up to the Gryffindor Tower.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Setting James down on the bed, Sirius let go of the boy's hand and slowly stepped back. The look that was in the younger boy's eyes was a mix of curiousity and worry. There might have been more, but they were the most prominent. His hands fidgeting in front of him, Sirius began to pace back and forth in front of the bed. He finally stopped a minute or two later, James still looking at him.
"I suppose I should start, then." he said, biting on his lip afterward.
"Only when you're ready. Don't feel rushed, alright? It's not like you -have- to tell me right now." James was quite the calm, collected person...Even if he was dying to know what it was. Thinking of Sirius' well-being was one of the things the boy did often.
Sirius had to explain. "But I -need- to...I have to get this off of my chest. It's a rather large weight and I'm afraid I might just burst if I don't."
"Then please do..."
"I don't know where to begin..." Sirius sighed with frustration, his arms pulling close to his body as he began to pace again. He'd never been so nervous, nor worried in his whole life. What would James say if he was to tell the boy that he was to be with child?
"Well, start with the thing you think is the biggest..."
Now, which was the biggest? The fact that he had sex and got a girl pregnant, or the fact that he was to have the child? There was a big debate going on within that clever head of Sirius Black, but a decision finally arose. "I got...a girl pregnant."
James' eyes let go of all the worry and curiousity, hastily replacing them with surprise. He cupped a hand over his mouth, though the gasp was quite loud. The two just stared at each other for a couple seconds before James let the hand fall down.
"Who? When? What?"
"Sophia Redmonds."
"You're old girlfriend?! When did this happen?!" His heightened voice wasn't out of anger, though he'd be quite pissed to find out that Sirius had slept with someone while they had gone out. They loved each other, and James trusted Sirius completely. If this happened while they were going out...James would just have to deal with it.
"It happened...about a week or two before you and I went out..."
James sighed, relieved. He remembered just how much in love those two were...But he also remembered just what happened...At that moment, it seemed to click. Sirius had told James about his first time...It was something the older one was quite ecstatic about...Until Sophia had been found with that other man.
"Oh."
"What do you mean, 'oh'?"
"Oh...I see."
"Ah...Sorry then. I don't mean to be so snappy. I'm just really worried..."
"Well, what about? I mean...You know she doesn't want to keep it." His tone seemed to change, however, when he caught the look in Sirius' eyes. "...Does she?"
"Well...-she- doesn't..." Sirius' voice had lowered so much that James had to strain his ears just to catch that.
"What?"
"I said...-She- doesn't."
"...But..." James had finally gotten it. This...was gigantic news... "You do?!"
Sirius slowly nodded.
"Oh...Oh my." James lifted the hand over his mouth again. He was just...quite surprised by this. Sirius, with a child? What possessed the boy to want something so...time consuming and so...important? James wondered if Sirius was trying to fill some kind of...hole in his life...There was only one question remaining: "Why?"
"Well...Where to begin with -this-...?"
"I don't know, but I want to know."
"I guess..." Sirius began, a heavy sigh slipping past his lips, "I guess I just don't want the child to miss out on life. I mean, it was conceived out of love...and Sophia just wanted to rid herself of it. She figured I wouldn't want us to have it, and it'd be a burden on the both of us..."
"But I'm guessing you felt differently," James mused.
"Quite so...Everything has a right to live, doesn't it? Even if it's only been around for a week or two? It's still alive, and living things deserve to live."
"Such a mouthful," James added, trying to lighten the mood. It seemed to work, seeing as Sirius let out a small chuckle before continuing.
"Yes, yes it is...But you agree, don't you?" The long haired one smiled lightly when he saw James nod. "Well then, you can see why I told her I wanted it."
"Well, for the most part...But you know how much time this child is going to take from you? Sirius, youth is one of the most rare and precious things this world has. If you give it up, I think you'd regret it."
It was almost as if James was trying to discourage Sirius from continuing with this, but he couldn't let that happen. His mind was racing, as well as his heart, but he needed to continue.
"I don't think I will. What better time -than- my youth to take care of a child? It would be much easier to take care of it while I'm young than when I'm older...Don't you get it?"
"What I don't get is why you're letting yourself think that way, Sirius. A child, I can understand, but right now? You have school!"
"It won't be for another eight or nine months, James! We'll be half-way through the school year before it comes...I mean, from what I managed to straighten out, the baby will be here around Christmas...That's two whole weeks for me to learn and grow to what the baby needs. I'm quite sure that everything will work out."
"Did you speak with the Headmaster about this? What about your parents? Did you even think about what they're going to say?"
That was a hit. Sirius had barely even thought about what was going to happen with them. Dumbledore, he hadn't even considered...His parents, he was sure he could convince. They'd listen to him...In fact, it would be quite the nice cushion for when he told them he was dating his best friend..."Hullo Mum and Dad, I've been dating James for over four months and I got a girl pregnant...So you don't have to worry about the Black line faulting any!" Yeah right.
"No, I didn't," Sirius replied, a light huff passing his lips. He fell next to James on the bed and sighed heavily. He felt himself being pulled into the other's lap, a soft textured hand running through his raven black tresses.
"Well, that's a big thing. I suppose you'll be wanting to work on that...but for the time being, we'll just stick to being calm and running our normal lives...Hm?" James looked down into Sirius' eyes and smiled softly.
Sirius nodded gently and lifted an arm around James' back, pulling him down into a soft kiss. Surprised as he was, James kissed back, slowly letting his tongue slip past his lips and lick around Sirius' lips. After what seemed like forever, James lifted himself from the kiss, the smile still lingering on his face.
"Have you thought of a name?" James asked.
"Not yet. It's been less than a month...I don't even know if it is a boy or a girl. When I know that, then I'll think of those." With another small chuckle, Sirius nuzzled against James' thigh.
"Well, that's fine...I just want you to know what you're getting yourself into...Or rather, what you're getting...us into..."
Sirius' worst fear had just been demolished. James was going to be there with him...Now it seemed like an even better thing.
"You're...You're going to help with me?"
"You know I am," James said with a wider smile, having caught the look on the other boy's face.
"Oh, James...That's...just wonderful..." Sirius squeezed James' thigh with his hand as he lifted himself up, catching the lips that were owned by the other boy. Things didn't seem so terrible now...If everything went how Sirius wanted it to, he'd have a family...
~*~*****************************~*~
Author's Note: Did you expect that? Hmm...Dunno if I did myself ^^; Well, please review...Cause even if you don't, I do suppose I'll keep writing...
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