Okay, as asked for here's Chapter two of this book. I swear, this story is
running away on it's own. Not that I'm complaining. I like it when the
boys of FFVIII cooperate with me. ^_^ Wahoo!
Thanks so much for the reviews. Oh, and Treesh daaahling, I promise there'll be more Selphie and LOTS more Laguna coming up in the next few chapters..maybe if you're good we'll get to see Laguna's more serious side. Hehehe ^_^ Please keep the reviews coming people!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII or any of the characters from this game. But you knew that. = D
Chapter 2: Sir Laguna of Winhill
There was no mistaking the smell coming from the inside of the house, and as the three companions headed toward the front porch Laguna couldn't help but smile. "You guys are in for a treat. Spaghetti tonight." Junior licked his lips, and was about to remark on how hungry he was when Laguna came to a sudden halt, catching the boy off guard as he fought to regain his balance atop Laguna's shoulders. It took the boy a moment to figure out what his grandfather was stopping for.
Standing on the porch was a small girl with dark hair and bright eyes, wearing a simple blue dress. Her foot was tapping expectantly, her arms folded in mock anger. Squall watched the little girl in awe, knowing who it was without even thinking twice.
"Waine's mad at you again," said Ellone with a pout, looking more hurt than angry at him. "She said you wan off, an said something about stawving you to def."
Laguna grinned, kneeling over and setting Junior down right in front of Ellone with a grin, then headed past the girl, giving her an affectionate pat on the head. "Elle, this is Junior. Why don't you take him inside and show him where he can sleep tonight, kay?" The little girl checked the stranger over with a scrutinizing eye, but fortunately junior possessed the uncanny ability to grin from ear to ear on command. And that was as good a show of character to Ellone than anything. Grabbing him by the hand with a giggle, she dragged him in the house at a full out sprint. Squall could hear Junior laughing and saying hi to someone inside before being dragged up the stairs loudly, and he knew it could only be one person.
And that one person moved fast. Before Laguna could open the screen door, she had it flung open, whacking him squarely on the forehead.
"Laguna Leonard Loire, just WHAT do you think you're-" her voice trailed off as her eyes fell on the stranger, oblivious to Laguna's whining and complaining as he gripped his head. Squall knew in one beat of his heart, without a doubt, that this was his mother. She was beautiful, straight down to the fine black hair and the brilliant gray eyes, so much like his that it was downright frightening. Catching himself staring, he shook it off and tried to mouth the word 'hello'.
Raine offered the stranger a somewhat forced smile, then turned on Laguna with contained fury. Her glare could have stopped bahamut dead in his tracks.
"I see you've brought ~visitors~," she said with a frown, folding her arms. Laguna was oblivious, rubbing the newly formed bump on his forehead. "Laguna," she sighed under her breath, "you know for a fact that I can't keep doing this. Ward and Kiros were fine, but this-"
Laguna winced, touching his forehead as he cut her off. "He's family Rainey." He drew his hand away to inspect it for blood. "I can't leave him out on the streets."
Raine looked at Squall suspiciously, then turned back to Laguna with a dull expression. "That may be, but still." Her voice caught as Laguna's arm slid surprisingly around her waist and he placed a stealthy kiss on her cheek, then all in the same movement waltzed into the house. Raine was left there, nearly growling at him in fury, then looked at Squall with a resigned, apologetic look.
"I'm sorry about that," she said, offering her hand. "I'm not normally so.blunt in front of guests."
Squall nervously, almost shyly took her hand and shook it gently, swallowing as he spoke. "It's uh...I can pay you, if that's a problem." Raine laughed and seemed to shrug that suggestion off as quickly as it had escaped his lips.
"Nonsense. No family member pays for anything while they're under my roof. Although," she said giving him a little wink and a smirk, "I may put you to work while you're here, if you plan on staying a while." Squall blinked. Did she just.
Raine grinned and headed inside, leaving Squall to follow. Laguna was already sitting at the table while a concerned Ellone inspected his forehead, poking and prodding the lump as it developed. It was obviously excruciating, but he took it like a gentleman, trying to smile through the experience. Junior was seated next to him in a fit of giggles, nearly falling out of his chair. Raine sighed, looking at the mish mosh of activity and headed for the kitchen, gently trailing one hand across Laguna's shoulders in an apparent show of apology. Laguna grinned as she headed back into the kitchen, then motioned for Squall to come take a seat. He did so nervously, looking around in awe. Laguna laughed as Ellone dug around in some sort of bag sitting at her feet.
"Relax, wouldja?" he said with a smirk. "She's not mad. She's just a little surprised, that's all. Ow!" He looked at Elle, rubbing his head. "Honey, easy with those forceps. It's a bump on the head, not a flesh wound. Why don't you go get me some ice, okay?" The little girl pouted in protest, then nodded and trotted off to the kitchen to find some ice. Laguna grinned, looking up at Squall. "She's cute isn't she?" he asked his son, giving Junior an affectionate pat on the back. "Reminds me a lot of this one here."
Junior made a face. "Ew! You didn't just compare me to a girl did you?" Squall chuckled at that. Selphie had been right-Junior was, indeed, getting to the 'girls are icky' age. Caught up in the thought, his mind drifted to Selphie. Where was she? The whole event seemed to be drifting around in his mind. Clouded, like a hazy dream. Was she really gone? With that thought, Squall stared solemnly at the tabletop as Raine entered the room again with a large pot full of sauce.
"So," she said as Ellone walked up alongside Laguna and smacked the icepack hard on his head, "Where are you two from?"
Squall blinked out of his haze and said nothing, his training kicking in yet again. Better to say nothing and stay safe than say too much and reveal. Thankfully, once he had recovered, Laguna chimed in,
"They're from Balamb. Leon here's my first cousin. He's been studying at the Garden there, and Junior's his son."
Squall gave Laguna a quizzical look. Leon? What the hell kinda name was THAT?
"Oh?" asked Raine as she set the pot down. "New headmaster there, I hear. Read all about it in the papers. Cid..Kramer or something like that.what was the name.that's gonna bug me all night." She turned and headed back into the kitchen, looking at Squall over her shoulder. "So is Junior named after you?"
Squall jumped in before his son, always eager to please, could answer. "No.he's named after his.grandfather." He cleared his throat, looking calm as could be, his demeanor collected. "Squall."
Raine paused. "I like that. Squall. It has a sort of noble ring to it." Grinning, she headed back into the dining room and set the noodles down, giving Junior a wink. "Well, Junior, I hope you like spaghetti. Because I make the best spaghetti in Winhill."
"Yeah right," said Laguna under his breath, "she's the only one that ~makes~ spaghetti in Winhill."
Elle and Junior laughed, giving each other a knowing eye. Raine, however, was not amused.
"Oh keep it to yourself!" She took his plate with an irritated scowl and started heaping noodles on. "Be thankful I can make enough to feed you. You eat as much as me and Ellone combined!" She splattered a spoonful of sauce on the noodles and handed it to him. He took it with a smile, just to counter her mood. Laguna was a master at the art of pushing Rayne's buttons.
"Thanks," he said, fork already in hand. Squall seemed to find this all very amusing, even if he never said a word about it.
Ellone gave Raine a fierce glare. "You weave Sir Waguna awone!"
Raine merely laughed, rolling her eyes. "Oh yes," she said dramatically, holding one hand to her forehead in a rather feminine gesture, "Please don't trouble the brave and valiant Sir Laguna of Winhill, he who saves us from the ~perilous~ monsters and ruffians of the outside world!"
Laguna sat there with a dull expression, half his mouth full of pasta. "Ha ha. Very funny." He swallowed, then shoved another forkful of spaghetti into his mouth. "I'd like to see you go out there and do my job everyday."
Rayne's laugh was shrill and harsh as she took Squall's plate and started dishing out dinner. "HA! Loan me that gun of yours and watch me!" She set the plate down in front of Squall again, taking Junior's. Her smirk was deadly. "Not like it's all that difficult. Hyne forbid we take the great and noble Sir Laguna's valiant duties from him."
Laguna glared at Raine through a mouthful of pasta and Junior cocked one brow with a grin, looking a little too much like his father. Laguna gave the boy a look to stop any commentary and rolled his eyes at Raine, his Galbadian accent suddenly thick. "Do you think you can go one night without humiliating me in front of family?"
"Let me think about it," she said with a short pause, then smiling and winking at him. "Nope."
Squall couldn't help but laugh, though he still seemed detached and in awe of the day's events. He watched the goings on throughout dinner, amazed at how it eased the stinging inside. Whatever the circumstances were, he was with family. And he had to at least be grateful for that. It was strange though.watching Laguna interact with the woman that was undoubtedly his mother felt so strange. It was like being torn from one life and being shoved into another. It wouldn't have been so bad if Selphie hadn't been on his mind. Sighing, he finished his supper, forcing himself to have an appetite. At least Junior seemed to be managing just fine.
After dinner, Rayne claimed she had some shopping to do. Laguna didn't seem too fond of this idea, and Junior insisted on going with her and Ellone. 'Because it's dark," he mused with a confident, dashing smile. "You girls will need some protection." Laguna had cocked a brow when the boy had said that, and Squall merely shrugged and mouthed the word 'Zell." Rayne, giggling, had let the children out in front of her and gave Laguna a little smile. "Don't worry," she said gently, seeing the worry in his eyes, "I'm just going a few doors away. I'll be right back."
After they had gone, Laguna seated himself back out on the porch, and Squall followed suit, tossing his jacket to one side and closing his eyes as he sank back into the chair. Laguna looked over at his son, amusement in his eyes.
"She's something, isn't she?" asked Laguna, his voice deep, and surprisingly serious.
Squall nodded. "She's.everything I thought she'd be." Opening his eyes, he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and staring at the porch floor. "It's so strange."
Laguna nodded, propping his feet up and looking at the stars overhead. "I know...It's a little odd from my end too. One day I'm a sixty-something president of Esthar, the next I'm twenty something again and living back in Winhill." He shook his head with a small smile. "Life is so unpredictable."
Squall didn't look up at his young-again father, but instead kept his eyes in the opposite direction of where Laguna was staring. It was a strange sight, two halves of the same family, one with his eyes on the stars and one steadily examining the floorboards. Laguna sighed, staring at a particularly bright star as it reflected off of his eyes. "Rayne's an amazing woman. I swear, the second I looked at her I knew." He looked over at his son with a silly smile on his face, almost embarrassed with himself for sharing his opinions with Squall, of all people. "She yelled at me not five minutes after I walked into this house. But for some reason, it felt good."
Squall smiled, peering at Laguna from beneath his bangs. "You're a total glutton for punishment."
"From Rayne? Anytime," answered Laguna with a wry grin, closing his eyes again with a happy sigh. "I had forgotten how much I missed her." Squall nodded, that sinking feeling in his stomach returning.
Somehow, he was back in Laguna's time. He wasn't even born yet, and yet here he was, staying with the mother he'd never known and the Father that had been all but non-existent for the bulk of his years. And for the first time in years, he was without his wife. Selphie.Hyne where was she? Was she safe? And if she was, then why was he here and not at Garden? What about Junior? And why send Laguna back as well? Didn't he already exist in this time?
And above all these thoughts, one remained crystal clear in his mind, refusing to be ignored. Was this his fault?
Maybe Selphie had given up on him after all this time. Maybe their ever present little tiffs over this and that had finally taken their toll, and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. What if she had decided she was tired of trying? What if Rinoa coming back and using her body had broken that spirit inside of her that Squall admired so damn much? And Rinoa.what had he done to make her that angry? Had he truly failed her as well? Was it his fault that she had left in the first place?
"You think too much." The voice jolted Squall from his thoughts and he looked over at Laguna, who was now leaning slightly on the arm of his chair toward his son a little, his face serious but his eyes alight with amusement. Squall took a deep breath before sitting back up and looking out over the dark hills around them, listening to the crickets chirping.
"Maybe." His voice was distant, reminiscent of the things he was feeling, even if he wouldn't outwardly admit it.
Laguna watched his son for a long moment before speaking again. "It's hard isn't it?" he asked gently.
Squall nodded as a strong breeze blew his hair straight back from his face, and Laguna realized for the first time just how much the two of them looked alike. At least Rayne wouldn't ever doubt the two of them being related.
"I remember when Junior was born," Squall said with a hint of a smile on his face, "how I used to get up in the middle of the night so Selphie could sleep. He never slept through the night." Taking his next breath, it was surprisingly shaky. "I remember...four days after we brought him home I got up at about one o clock in the morning because he was fussing. And...I just.." His voice cracked with emotion, and somewhere deep in his brooding soul Squall weighed the difference between being ashamed of crying and being ashamed of opening up to someone truly and completely other than his wife. His tears were cold as they slid down his face, the breeze heightening his awareness of their appearance. "I remember thinking..I was the luckiest guy on the planet, that nothing could ever ruin anything else in my life because I was finally happy." The smile that followed this statement froze Laguna's spirit. He'd seen that smile before, both on the face of his son and in the mirror. It was a smile of denial, of self- worthlessness and shame.
Squall shrugged, finally dropping his eyes back to the floor. "Guess nobody should ever assume they know everything until they really ~do~ know everything."
Laguna shook his head. "No, Squall. But nobody should have to hurt this much either." The two men looked at one another, and Squall could see something in Laguna's eyes he hadn't seen in a long time. It wasn't something he could put into words, just a feeling, and a glimmer. A moment.
"She'll be back for you, you know that," said Laguna with a small smile. "I know Selphie well enough to know that she's safe, and she's probably watching over the two of us right now laughing her ass off at what morons we're being." Looking back out over the hills, Laguna smirked a little. "Go on, say it. You know you want to."
Squall managed to look up, his face a torrent of held in emotion as he nonchalantly wiped at his face, staring out in the same direction as Laguna with an irritated scowl. "..You ~are~ a moron."
Laguna nodded with a happy smile. "I never thought I'd be glad to hear that come out of your mouth." The two exchanged looks from the corner of their eyes, then looked back out as Laguna murmured under his breath, "smart ass."
Sighing, they both watched as the forms of Rayne and the children were seen coming back up to the house. Somehow just seeing Junior eased the pain for Squall, and he marveled at that thought as the young boy came running up with a bolt of fabric in his arms that was nearly as big as he was.
Maybe Laguna was right. But something still felt very, very wrong.
Thanks so much for the reviews. Oh, and Treesh daaahling, I promise there'll be more Selphie and LOTS more Laguna coming up in the next few chapters..maybe if you're good we'll get to see Laguna's more serious side. Hehehe ^_^ Please keep the reviews coming people!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII or any of the characters from this game. But you knew that. = D
Chapter 2: Sir Laguna of Winhill
There was no mistaking the smell coming from the inside of the house, and as the three companions headed toward the front porch Laguna couldn't help but smile. "You guys are in for a treat. Spaghetti tonight." Junior licked his lips, and was about to remark on how hungry he was when Laguna came to a sudden halt, catching the boy off guard as he fought to regain his balance atop Laguna's shoulders. It took the boy a moment to figure out what his grandfather was stopping for.
Standing on the porch was a small girl with dark hair and bright eyes, wearing a simple blue dress. Her foot was tapping expectantly, her arms folded in mock anger. Squall watched the little girl in awe, knowing who it was without even thinking twice.
"Waine's mad at you again," said Ellone with a pout, looking more hurt than angry at him. "She said you wan off, an said something about stawving you to def."
Laguna grinned, kneeling over and setting Junior down right in front of Ellone with a grin, then headed past the girl, giving her an affectionate pat on the head. "Elle, this is Junior. Why don't you take him inside and show him where he can sleep tonight, kay?" The little girl checked the stranger over with a scrutinizing eye, but fortunately junior possessed the uncanny ability to grin from ear to ear on command. And that was as good a show of character to Ellone than anything. Grabbing him by the hand with a giggle, she dragged him in the house at a full out sprint. Squall could hear Junior laughing and saying hi to someone inside before being dragged up the stairs loudly, and he knew it could only be one person.
And that one person moved fast. Before Laguna could open the screen door, she had it flung open, whacking him squarely on the forehead.
"Laguna Leonard Loire, just WHAT do you think you're-" her voice trailed off as her eyes fell on the stranger, oblivious to Laguna's whining and complaining as he gripped his head. Squall knew in one beat of his heart, without a doubt, that this was his mother. She was beautiful, straight down to the fine black hair and the brilliant gray eyes, so much like his that it was downright frightening. Catching himself staring, he shook it off and tried to mouth the word 'hello'.
Raine offered the stranger a somewhat forced smile, then turned on Laguna with contained fury. Her glare could have stopped bahamut dead in his tracks.
"I see you've brought ~visitors~," she said with a frown, folding her arms. Laguna was oblivious, rubbing the newly formed bump on his forehead. "Laguna," she sighed under her breath, "you know for a fact that I can't keep doing this. Ward and Kiros were fine, but this-"
Laguna winced, touching his forehead as he cut her off. "He's family Rainey." He drew his hand away to inspect it for blood. "I can't leave him out on the streets."
Raine looked at Squall suspiciously, then turned back to Laguna with a dull expression. "That may be, but still." Her voice caught as Laguna's arm slid surprisingly around her waist and he placed a stealthy kiss on her cheek, then all in the same movement waltzed into the house. Raine was left there, nearly growling at him in fury, then looked at Squall with a resigned, apologetic look.
"I'm sorry about that," she said, offering her hand. "I'm not normally so.blunt in front of guests."
Squall nervously, almost shyly took her hand and shook it gently, swallowing as he spoke. "It's uh...I can pay you, if that's a problem." Raine laughed and seemed to shrug that suggestion off as quickly as it had escaped his lips.
"Nonsense. No family member pays for anything while they're under my roof. Although," she said giving him a little wink and a smirk, "I may put you to work while you're here, if you plan on staying a while." Squall blinked. Did she just.
Raine grinned and headed inside, leaving Squall to follow. Laguna was already sitting at the table while a concerned Ellone inspected his forehead, poking and prodding the lump as it developed. It was obviously excruciating, but he took it like a gentleman, trying to smile through the experience. Junior was seated next to him in a fit of giggles, nearly falling out of his chair. Raine sighed, looking at the mish mosh of activity and headed for the kitchen, gently trailing one hand across Laguna's shoulders in an apparent show of apology. Laguna grinned as she headed back into the kitchen, then motioned for Squall to come take a seat. He did so nervously, looking around in awe. Laguna laughed as Ellone dug around in some sort of bag sitting at her feet.
"Relax, wouldja?" he said with a smirk. "She's not mad. She's just a little surprised, that's all. Ow!" He looked at Elle, rubbing his head. "Honey, easy with those forceps. It's a bump on the head, not a flesh wound. Why don't you go get me some ice, okay?" The little girl pouted in protest, then nodded and trotted off to the kitchen to find some ice. Laguna grinned, looking up at Squall. "She's cute isn't she?" he asked his son, giving Junior an affectionate pat on the back. "Reminds me a lot of this one here."
Junior made a face. "Ew! You didn't just compare me to a girl did you?" Squall chuckled at that. Selphie had been right-Junior was, indeed, getting to the 'girls are icky' age. Caught up in the thought, his mind drifted to Selphie. Where was she? The whole event seemed to be drifting around in his mind. Clouded, like a hazy dream. Was she really gone? With that thought, Squall stared solemnly at the tabletop as Raine entered the room again with a large pot full of sauce.
"So," she said as Ellone walked up alongside Laguna and smacked the icepack hard on his head, "Where are you two from?"
Squall blinked out of his haze and said nothing, his training kicking in yet again. Better to say nothing and stay safe than say too much and reveal. Thankfully, once he had recovered, Laguna chimed in,
"They're from Balamb. Leon here's my first cousin. He's been studying at the Garden there, and Junior's his son."
Squall gave Laguna a quizzical look. Leon? What the hell kinda name was THAT?
"Oh?" asked Raine as she set the pot down. "New headmaster there, I hear. Read all about it in the papers. Cid..Kramer or something like that.what was the name.that's gonna bug me all night." She turned and headed back into the kitchen, looking at Squall over her shoulder. "So is Junior named after you?"
Squall jumped in before his son, always eager to please, could answer. "No.he's named after his.grandfather." He cleared his throat, looking calm as could be, his demeanor collected. "Squall."
Raine paused. "I like that. Squall. It has a sort of noble ring to it." Grinning, she headed back into the dining room and set the noodles down, giving Junior a wink. "Well, Junior, I hope you like spaghetti. Because I make the best spaghetti in Winhill."
"Yeah right," said Laguna under his breath, "she's the only one that ~makes~ spaghetti in Winhill."
Elle and Junior laughed, giving each other a knowing eye. Raine, however, was not amused.
"Oh keep it to yourself!" She took his plate with an irritated scowl and started heaping noodles on. "Be thankful I can make enough to feed you. You eat as much as me and Ellone combined!" She splattered a spoonful of sauce on the noodles and handed it to him. He took it with a smile, just to counter her mood. Laguna was a master at the art of pushing Rayne's buttons.
"Thanks," he said, fork already in hand. Squall seemed to find this all very amusing, even if he never said a word about it.
Ellone gave Raine a fierce glare. "You weave Sir Waguna awone!"
Raine merely laughed, rolling her eyes. "Oh yes," she said dramatically, holding one hand to her forehead in a rather feminine gesture, "Please don't trouble the brave and valiant Sir Laguna of Winhill, he who saves us from the ~perilous~ monsters and ruffians of the outside world!"
Laguna sat there with a dull expression, half his mouth full of pasta. "Ha ha. Very funny." He swallowed, then shoved another forkful of spaghetti into his mouth. "I'd like to see you go out there and do my job everyday."
Rayne's laugh was shrill and harsh as she took Squall's plate and started dishing out dinner. "HA! Loan me that gun of yours and watch me!" She set the plate down in front of Squall again, taking Junior's. Her smirk was deadly. "Not like it's all that difficult. Hyne forbid we take the great and noble Sir Laguna's valiant duties from him."
Laguna glared at Raine through a mouthful of pasta and Junior cocked one brow with a grin, looking a little too much like his father. Laguna gave the boy a look to stop any commentary and rolled his eyes at Raine, his Galbadian accent suddenly thick. "Do you think you can go one night without humiliating me in front of family?"
"Let me think about it," she said with a short pause, then smiling and winking at him. "Nope."
Squall couldn't help but laugh, though he still seemed detached and in awe of the day's events. He watched the goings on throughout dinner, amazed at how it eased the stinging inside. Whatever the circumstances were, he was with family. And he had to at least be grateful for that. It was strange though.watching Laguna interact with the woman that was undoubtedly his mother felt so strange. It was like being torn from one life and being shoved into another. It wouldn't have been so bad if Selphie hadn't been on his mind. Sighing, he finished his supper, forcing himself to have an appetite. At least Junior seemed to be managing just fine.
After dinner, Rayne claimed she had some shopping to do. Laguna didn't seem too fond of this idea, and Junior insisted on going with her and Ellone. 'Because it's dark," he mused with a confident, dashing smile. "You girls will need some protection." Laguna had cocked a brow when the boy had said that, and Squall merely shrugged and mouthed the word 'Zell." Rayne, giggling, had let the children out in front of her and gave Laguna a little smile. "Don't worry," she said gently, seeing the worry in his eyes, "I'm just going a few doors away. I'll be right back."
After they had gone, Laguna seated himself back out on the porch, and Squall followed suit, tossing his jacket to one side and closing his eyes as he sank back into the chair. Laguna looked over at his son, amusement in his eyes.
"She's something, isn't she?" asked Laguna, his voice deep, and surprisingly serious.
Squall nodded. "She's.everything I thought she'd be." Opening his eyes, he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and staring at the porch floor. "It's so strange."
Laguna nodded, propping his feet up and looking at the stars overhead. "I know...It's a little odd from my end too. One day I'm a sixty-something president of Esthar, the next I'm twenty something again and living back in Winhill." He shook his head with a small smile. "Life is so unpredictable."
Squall didn't look up at his young-again father, but instead kept his eyes in the opposite direction of where Laguna was staring. It was a strange sight, two halves of the same family, one with his eyes on the stars and one steadily examining the floorboards. Laguna sighed, staring at a particularly bright star as it reflected off of his eyes. "Rayne's an amazing woman. I swear, the second I looked at her I knew." He looked over at his son with a silly smile on his face, almost embarrassed with himself for sharing his opinions with Squall, of all people. "She yelled at me not five minutes after I walked into this house. But for some reason, it felt good."
Squall smiled, peering at Laguna from beneath his bangs. "You're a total glutton for punishment."
"From Rayne? Anytime," answered Laguna with a wry grin, closing his eyes again with a happy sigh. "I had forgotten how much I missed her." Squall nodded, that sinking feeling in his stomach returning.
Somehow, he was back in Laguna's time. He wasn't even born yet, and yet here he was, staying with the mother he'd never known and the Father that had been all but non-existent for the bulk of his years. And for the first time in years, he was without his wife. Selphie.Hyne where was she? Was she safe? And if she was, then why was he here and not at Garden? What about Junior? And why send Laguna back as well? Didn't he already exist in this time?
And above all these thoughts, one remained crystal clear in his mind, refusing to be ignored. Was this his fault?
Maybe Selphie had given up on him after all this time. Maybe their ever present little tiffs over this and that had finally taken their toll, and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. What if she had decided she was tired of trying? What if Rinoa coming back and using her body had broken that spirit inside of her that Squall admired so damn much? And Rinoa.what had he done to make her that angry? Had he truly failed her as well? Was it his fault that she had left in the first place?
"You think too much." The voice jolted Squall from his thoughts and he looked over at Laguna, who was now leaning slightly on the arm of his chair toward his son a little, his face serious but his eyes alight with amusement. Squall took a deep breath before sitting back up and looking out over the dark hills around them, listening to the crickets chirping.
"Maybe." His voice was distant, reminiscent of the things he was feeling, even if he wouldn't outwardly admit it.
Laguna watched his son for a long moment before speaking again. "It's hard isn't it?" he asked gently.
Squall nodded as a strong breeze blew his hair straight back from his face, and Laguna realized for the first time just how much the two of them looked alike. At least Rayne wouldn't ever doubt the two of them being related.
"I remember when Junior was born," Squall said with a hint of a smile on his face, "how I used to get up in the middle of the night so Selphie could sleep. He never slept through the night." Taking his next breath, it was surprisingly shaky. "I remember...four days after we brought him home I got up at about one o clock in the morning because he was fussing. And...I just.." His voice cracked with emotion, and somewhere deep in his brooding soul Squall weighed the difference between being ashamed of crying and being ashamed of opening up to someone truly and completely other than his wife. His tears were cold as they slid down his face, the breeze heightening his awareness of their appearance. "I remember thinking..I was the luckiest guy on the planet, that nothing could ever ruin anything else in my life because I was finally happy." The smile that followed this statement froze Laguna's spirit. He'd seen that smile before, both on the face of his son and in the mirror. It was a smile of denial, of self- worthlessness and shame.
Squall shrugged, finally dropping his eyes back to the floor. "Guess nobody should ever assume they know everything until they really ~do~ know everything."
Laguna shook his head. "No, Squall. But nobody should have to hurt this much either." The two men looked at one another, and Squall could see something in Laguna's eyes he hadn't seen in a long time. It wasn't something he could put into words, just a feeling, and a glimmer. A moment.
"She'll be back for you, you know that," said Laguna with a small smile. "I know Selphie well enough to know that she's safe, and she's probably watching over the two of us right now laughing her ass off at what morons we're being." Looking back out over the hills, Laguna smirked a little. "Go on, say it. You know you want to."
Squall managed to look up, his face a torrent of held in emotion as he nonchalantly wiped at his face, staring out in the same direction as Laguna with an irritated scowl. "..You ~are~ a moron."
Laguna nodded with a happy smile. "I never thought I'd be glad to hear that come out of your mouth." The two exchanged looks from the corner of their eyes, then looked back out as Laguna murmured under his breath, "smart ass."
Sighing, they both watched as the forms of Rayne and the children were seen coming back up to the house. Somehow just seeing Junior eased the pain for Squall, and he marveled at that thought as the young boy came running up with a bolt of fabric in his arms that was nearly as big as he was.
Maybe Laguna was right. But something still felt very, very wrong.