Blast From the Past, Chapter 2
Slamming the door didn't make him feel any better, so Nick paced around his living room, trying to prevent the memories from flooding back to him, but having absolutely no success. She'd been the hottest freshman. He was the popular football player junior. It was the cliché to date a cheerleader, but Nick didn't. He dated the bookworm. But she was hot. And everyone knew it and was jealous of them. They had been high school sweethearts – were together for his last two years (except, of course for prom. He opted to take another senior, and they'd had words, but eventually got over it.), and all four of hers. He'd gone on to Rice University, she'd gone to the community college in Houston so they would still be close. They dated all through college. She got her bachelor's in philosophy, he got his in criminal justice. She went on to grad school at Rice, he went to the police department, against his father's wishes. And then the shit hit the fan. He left four years later without telling her, and he'd regretted it. Deep down, he knew she would have gone with him, but she was part of the problem. No matter how he tried to justify it all, he knew his problem was with him, not his family or Ashley or Jimmy or anyone else. He just felt like he couldn't live up to anyone's expectations. He could have forgiven Ashley and Jimmy. He had. They just didn't know it, and he felt guilty about that, too.
Nick threw himself on the couch and sighed, finally giving in to the memories. Their first date had been classic. Fall was just around the corner, and the weather was finally starting to cool off. They'd gone to a movie with friends and he took her home. They walked around the block until five minutes before her curfew, and he'd kissed her goodnight. Nothing major, but sweet all the same. He smiled to himself now. She was perfect. Even as a freshman she'd been tall and pretty. Most freshmen he'd known looked like freshman. Hell, they often looked like they were still in junior high, but not Ashley. She had her mother's looks. And she was gorgeous.
In college, she was a goddess. She'd finally hit babehood, and every guy that knew her wanted to be Nick. But she only had eyes for the man she'd captured, which made Nick feel that much better about himself. Then the whole thing with his dad happened, and it all went downhill. Nick frowned thinking about all the fights with her and with his dad. He was too good for the police department, his dad said. He was settling for less than he was capable of, and it came down on the family in the long run. His mom wanted nothing from him but grandchildren with Ashley, and he couldn't handle the pressure. She always told him what a perfect couple they were, and how beautiful their children would be. He couldn't blame her for that – he thought he'd wanted it just as much as she did. But come time for actually popping the question, he'd thought long and hard about what he wanted and he just didn't know. Until that point, he'd done nothing but please other people, and he was sick of it.
True, the Ashley fiasco had been the straw that broke the camel's back, but he would have left eventually anyway. Nick grimaced as he remembered it. He'd come home from work one night to find Ashley on the porch, her eyes red and her cheeks tearstained. Of course he'd feared the worst – something had happened to her. She said she'd talked to Jimmy, Nick's best friend and boyfriend of Ashley's best friend, Megan. She didn't want to hurt him, but she just felt too much pressure right now, with school and her parents wanting her to settle down, just like Nick's. She didn't want to break up, but she couldn't commit to such a major commitment just yet. Nick hadn't taken it hard – he was actually kind of relieved. But she'd been so scared she was going to drive him away, it just broke his heart. He sat on the porch with her for an hour just listening to her ramble on and on about how she couldn't take it, blah, blah. Slowly, he started to think their relationship was just all about her – how he made her look, how he made her parents happy, how he made her feel good about herself.
Naturally, he'd gone to Jimmy about it. But Jimmy had a confession to make. He had witnessed Ashley kissing another guy at school and hadn't told Nick about it for several months, until everything came to a head. Nick was furious. Jimmy was his best friend – how could he not tell him the moment he saw him, right? Truth be told, Jimmy had been the other guy. Ashley admitted that when Nick grilled her about it the next day. She swore she didn't mean for it to happen – didn't want it to happen. Jimmy and Megan had broken up, Jimmy was hurt, Ashley was his friend, and things got out of hand. She protested, but couldn't bring herself to hurt a friend just because he was kissing her against her will. So she let him, hoping nothing would come of it, and that it would help Jimmy somehow get over his heartache.
Nick flew off the handle. No matter how much he believed Ashley, and how much he trusted her and loved her, he didn't want to think of how he would look if he stayed with a girl that had "cheated" on him, even though everyone in town that knew about it knew it was just a simple kiss between friends. He would never raise a hand to Ashley, but he gave her the best tongue-lashing in history. Now, more than ever, he regretted it. Jimmy had been next on his shit-list. After ripping him a new one, Nick made his plans to leave town. When Jimmy and Megan had shown up in Vegas a few years later, he had apologized to Jimmy about the whole thing after some long talks. He'd gotten over it and forgiven both of them, but as far as Jimmy knew, it was easier for Nick to get over being betrayed by his best friend than the woman he loved.
"What the hell am I gonna do?" he asked the wall. Looking back on it now, Nick didn't really think the "fiasco" had been such a big damn deal. He felt like a total jerk. Not surprisingly, the wall didn't have the answer, so he decided he'd go for a walk. Hopefully, when he returned, his life would be back to normal, and this whole Ashley thing would be over.
***
Ashley hadn't been able to sleep. She'd tossed and turned for hours now, but couldn't find a position comfortable enough to forget all the trivial things on her mind. She was worried about the apartment not coming through (she knew it'd been a mistake to let Megan handle that for her), and her new job teaching at WLVU (she'd taught before, but not at the university level, and not outside of Texas), and just general things you worry about when you move someplace new – finding a cool new hangout like the one at home, new friends, new colleagues, new streets, and many new opportunities to get lost.
And she worried about being in the same city as Nick. She wasn't scared of him by any means. It had just been forever since she'd seen him, and if she did happen to run into him, she wondered what he'd say, if he'd recognize her, and mostly if he'd bring up the mistakes she'd made in the past. God, she wished she'd put her foot down. Now, being under the same roof as Jimmy, she felt even more badly about what had happened. But she couldn't completely blame herself. After all, Jimmy was her friend, and she had always wanted to be there for her friends when they needed someone to talk to. She hadn't planned on him kissing her. That was the last thing she'd expected, since he'd just gotten dumped. And even so, it wasn't one of those kisses. She thought Nick would have understood. Nick cared about his friends just as much as Ashley did, and he knew she would never even think about cheating on him. No, this wasn't as much her fault as she had thought.
On some level, though, she understood why Nick had been so pissed off. She knew better than everyone else how much stress his family had put on him to settle down and live up to their expectations. His job didn't help either – it was just as stressful for Nick, who naturally generally cared about people, regardless of whether or not he knew them. And she understood that since he wasn't there to witness it, he didn't know exactly what had happened. Even trusting her as much as he did, he was justified in thinking there had to be more to it just because she hadn't run to him to tell him the minute it happened.
With a heavy sigh, she stood, gasping as her feet touched the cold floor. She stepped into her flip-flops and quietly went out onto the front porch to sneak a quick smoke. She had to smile – what would Nick say? Shaking her head, she let a quiet giggle escape. He'd probably have a heart attack and die. No, Ashley knew she had to just get over it. On the slight chance she did run into him, she knew all chances of reconciliation where hopelessly lost now. After all, it'd been more than ten years now. Who can really wait that long?