Blast From the Past, Chapter 4
Ashley stared at herself in the mirror, feeling her hands trembling at her side. Jimmy had planned a Superbowl party, inviting both her and Megan to stay. Of course she'd known Nick would eventually show up – he wasn't the type to turn down such an invitation, and from what Megan had said about the re-growing relationship between Nick and Jimmy, Jimmy was sure to have invited him. She'd actually thought about planning an extra-credit lecture for her students today, but didn't get the reaction she'd have needed to pull it off. Everyone already had made plans for Superbowl Sunday, or otherwise wouldn't be caught dead at school on the weekend. So here she stood, in front of her reflection, terrified of the events that could possibly unfold. She was certain Jimmy hadn't told Nick she was here, much less that she'd be at the party, so she could only imagine what would happen when he saw her. After taking a deep breath, she stood and headed into the kitchen to help Megan with the food preparations.
"You ready for this?" Megan asked quietly, peeking around the corner at Jimmy arranging and re-arranging the furniture for all the friends expected to show up within the next hour.
"Ready for what?" Ashley knew what Megan was talking about – Nick. But she knew that if she thought about it, she wouldn't be able to face him.
"Nick. I mean, Jimmy didn't say for sure whether or not he'd be here, but knowing Nick, he could never turn down free beer to go with the game," Megan stated. "If you're not ready to do this, we can go do something else. I'm sure Jimmy knows how to pour chips into a bowl and set it in front of guests." Ashley laughed and met Megan's eyes.
"We'll see. I mean, they're not supposed to get here for another hour, so who knows what will go through my mind until then," she replied with a smile.
"I just can't believe Jimmy." Ashley's eyebrow rose. "I mean, Nick told him to drop the issue, I told him to leave you alone about it, and he's still insistent on getting you two in the same room."
"Wait, wait—" Ashley said quickly. "Did Jimmy tell him I'm here?" Megan nodded slowly, watching Ashley's eyes close. "Shit." She just about jumped through her skin as the doorbell rang.
"Someone's early," Megan said with a frown. "Do you want to go? I'll have Jimmy finish up here." She didn't let Ashley get a word out before rushing out of the room to get the door. Ashley heard her greet someone and yell at Jimmy to get out of the bedroom and into the living room. Jimmy's heavy footsteps running down the stairs, and then two male voices talking and laughing. Megan reappeared in the kitchen, smiling weakly at Ashley. "We can go out the back door if you want to." Ashley nodded quickly.
"Can you get my purse? It's on my bed." Megan nodded and disappeared, leaving Ashley standing alone in the middle of the kitchen, scared to death. She heard footsteps coming toward her from the hallway and breathed a sigh of relief. Just two more seconds and she and Megan could get the hell out of here.
"Did you actually get a keg in your refrigerator, Jimmy, or were you lying?" Ashley froze. The footsteps no doubt belonged to the nearing voice, which couldn't be anyone but Nick. She swore under her breath and headed toward the back door, hoping to get out of the room before Nick saw her. She was on the brink of tears as she tugged on the sliding glass door, but it wouldn't budge. Anxiety turned to desperation as the footsteps came closer and then halted, just as that damn door pulled open and Ashley slipped out into the back yard, trembling again. She closed the door soundlessly and ran around front to the garage just as Megan opened the door.
"There you are. I checked the kitchen a few seconds ago, but you were gone," Megan said calmly.
"Who was that?" Ashley asked, reaching for the car door handle.
"Who?"
"The guy that came into the kitchen." Her voice was trembling just as violently as the rest of her, and Megan picked up on it. "Or do I not want to know?"
"You probably don't want to know," Megan said as she turned the key. Ashley nodded and stared out the window.
"Where are we going?" Megan shrugged, and Ashley didn't push. She didn't really feel like talking right now anyway.
***
They had walked around the Forum Shops for three hours now, and Ashley's legs were getting really tired. Neither had bought anything, and Megan was getting sick of the silence. It was obvious Ashley didn't want to talk about anything, but Megan had always been one to talk about absolutely nothing just to avoid awkward silence, which was what had been filling their conversation since they'd left the house.
"So when do you think you'll hear about that apartment?" Megan asked. Ashley shrugged.
"That eager to get rid of me?" she returned with a slight smile.
"No, I just know you've been really edgy since you got here and I want you to be able to relax and have your own place. You know, fill your time with furniture arranging and decorating instead of worrying about stupid piddly shit that doesn't matter anyway."
"You're not helping," Ashley informed.
"I'm sorry, Ash." Ashley replied with a shrug. "I just want you to be happy here. I mean, we're friends. I hate walking on eggshells just because you're worried Nick might decide to pop in one day." Megan's comment was returned with one of those looks. "Face it, Ash. You're scared shitless of running into him without being prepared first. But look at what happened today. You had plenty of time to prepare, and you still wigged out. You just – I don't know. Snapped, I guess."
"Can we please change the subject, Meg?" Ashley whined.
"No, we can't," Megan snapped, stopping and grabbing Ashley's arm to stop her as well. "I love you to death, sweetheart, but frankly, I'm sick of having to avoid subjects that might or might not lead to you needing to face Nick and get over this. You're both adults, but you're both acting like you're still in junior high. Neither one of you wants to get over it, but you won't face each other either." Ashley took a step back, Megan's words stinging. "And you're putting Jimmy and me in the middle in the process, which isn't helping us at all. I'm sorry Ash, I really am. I'd love for you to stay with us as long as you'd like to, but not at the expense of my marriage, and not at the expense of Jimmy and Nick's friendship." Ashley just stared at her for a moment before taking a deep breath and gulping.
"Well, I'm sorry I've put such a damper on your life, Megan. I'll call the apartment office tomorrow and be in by the end of the week." Megan sighed as Ashley turned and walked away.
"Ashley, wait." Ashley paused and turned around. "I'm sorry." Ashley shook her head. "Ash, I wish I had an excuse for you, and I wish I could do something, but no matter what I offer, this won't get any easier until you make up your mind what you're going to do and actually have the balls to go through with it." Ashley's gaze lowered. "You have every reason to be afraid of seeing him again. I mean, Christ. He left without telling anyone, and let you believe that it was all your fault. But honestly, Ashley, I know for a fact it wasn't. Nick has never been the type of person to let an innocent misunderstanding between the two people he trusts most come between him and then. You know that as well as I do. It wasn't your fault then, and it isn't your fault that he's not man enough to admit it and apologize. But you know what?" Ashley looked up at Megan. "You're the only one that can make that happen, and the only way is to make him face you." Ashley nodded.
"I know," she said timidly. "But all I want is to be able to forget all of this happened and move on."
"With Nick," Megan assumed. Ashley nodded slowly.
"I miss him, Meg."
"I know you do," Megan said, wrapping Ashley in a hug. "But as your friend, I feel like I have to tell you it's been ten years and not to expect anything." Ashley nodded against her.
"I know. And that's what makes it so hard for me."
***
It was halftime and the guys were out of dip and starting to complain. The keg had run dry and Jimmy had missed the best play of the first quarter getting it refilled. He was pissed. If Megan had been here, none of this would have happened, and Jimmy would still be the man. Nick smacked him in the back of the head.
"You still with us, man?" he asked. Jimmy nodded slowly.
"Meg's in serious trouble when she gets back," he threatened with an evil grin.
"Why?" David, Jimmy and Meg's neighbor scoffed. "Because you're half the hostess she is on a good day?" All the guys laughed, and Jimmy's face reddened.
"If she hadn't run off, none of this would have happened," he pouted.
"Oh, grow up, man," Nick whined, throwing popcorn at him. "You couldn't possibly have thought one keg would last nine grown men at a football game, did you?" Nick studied Jimmy for a second and shook his head. "You did."
"Yeah, yeah," Jimmy retorted. "Shut the fuck up and watch the game."
***
Megan swore and drove with her knee to rummage through her purse before the phone stopped ringing.
"'Lo? Hey. Yeah, we're on the way back right now. He what? Shit. Yeah, okay. That's fine. Just, uh, keep him there." Ashley looked over at Megan, who shook her head with an embarrassed grin. "Anyone else still there? Okay. Yeah, twenty minutes tops. Bye, sweetie." Ashley kept looking at Megan until she finally gave in. "You'll have fun with this. Nick passed out on the couch. Too much beer, evidently." Ashley's smile fell, an uneasy feeling growing in the pit of her stomach. "Never thought he was capable of drinking himself to sleep on beer, but hey. Superbowl, right?"
"Megan—"
"Don't worry. He's fast asleep. I'll make Jimmy sit with him until he wakes up and then take him home." Ashley turned to look out the window again.
"No, let him sleep it off as long as he needs to. I don't want you to work around me anymore."
"It's not about you, Ash," Megan said. "I told Jimmy I didn't want anyone staying tonight, and no one's going to. It's his party. He's got the gas to play chauffer." Ashley laughed slightly, but her spirits were far from high. She knew Drunk Nick. Drunk Nick was funny until he got pissed off and then you'd better watch out. Beligerent Drunk Nick didn't make many appearances, but when he did, it didn't go unnoticed. And Ashley was sure that she would bring out Beligerent Drunk Nick right now, if he were to find out she was there. So as soon as they got home, she snuck up the stairs without even looking at the couch he was supposed to have passed out on.
She changed into her pajamas without turning on the light, went down the hall to the bathroom to wash her face, and slipped under the covers. Just as she was about to fall asleep, she heard feet shuffling across the floor, feeling someone looking at her.
"Ashley?" She didn't move. A sigh. A knee cracking as someone knelt next to her bed. Her heart sped up, and she prayed he couldn't hear it. The slight smell of beer invaded her nostrils, and her heart pounded even harder. "God," she heard him whisper. She nearly jumped when she felt him brush a strand of hair away from her face, hoping he thought she was just stirring. "So this is what I left, huh?" Another sigh. "I've been kicking myself in the ass for ten years. Now I guess I know why." His words were slightly slurred, and she figured he was still drunk. She hoped he forgot this if it wasn't just a dream.
"Nick? You ready?"
"Gimme a minute." He sighed again, pausing for what seemed like forever to Ashley. "God, I miss you." He kissed her forehead and was gone. Ashley opened her eyes and blinked, feeling a tear slide down her cheek and fall onto the pillow.