Blast from the Past, Chapter 6
Nick had been moping around for days and Warrick was fed up. He knew Nick had gone to talk to Ashley, but that's all he could weasel out of him. His lips were sealed, and that was never a good sign. Warrick decided to corner him and beat it out of him if necessary.
"Nick." Nick looked up from the table in the coffee room. No one else was there, so Warrick decided now was his chance. Nick picked up his coffee and took a sip. "What happened to you?"
"What do you mean?" Warrick sighed and closed the door behind him. "Uh-oh. Warrick wants privacy. That's not good."
"Stop being a smartass and tell me what's wrong with you," Warrick said as he sat across from Nick.
"Nothing's wrong with me."
"Stop the bullshit." Nick's eyes snapped up to meet Warrick's. "All you've said is that you went to talk to her. Are you gonna tell me what happened, or make me guess?" Nick's eyes fell and he sighed.
"She basically told me she can't forgive me, and to go to hell." Warrick's eyebrows rose.
"That bad?"
"Not really. I mean, she assumed that I left to get away from her—"
"Which was a safe assumption," Warrick added, receiving a look from Nick.
"And she didn't let me explain, and the little bit I could figure out how to say, she didn't believe." Nick lost himself in the depths of his coffee. "I know I let her down, and I know she has a reason to hate my guts, but I wish she didn't. I wish she could forgive me, and I wish she'd just give me a chance to work this out." Warrick nodded.
"Maybe she will," he offered.
"No way, man," Nick moaned. "It's over and done with. No more chances."
"Just hear me out, Nick .You hurt her." Nick sighed. "She felt like you didn't need her or want her anymore, and she felt lost. Then, all of a sudden, you show up and want to talk about it. She was scared, Nick. She didn't know how to react, or what to say, or if it was even real. And once she realizes it was, she'll think the same thing you were thinking before you talked to her, but hopefully now she'll know she has a chance to make things right." Nick looked up at Warrick, hope shining in his eyes.
"Yeah?"
"Maybe," Warrick said gently. "I'm no psychic, but it's a safe bet." Nick nodded.
"I hope you're right."
***
Ashley finally got out of bed around noon, after lying there, awake, since Nick had left last night. She knew this hadn't been a dream. Her pasta was still sitting on the counter, and her apartment still held traces of his aftershave. She threw the pasta out and set the bowl in the sink, along with the pot and the fork, and ran water in it, making a mental note to do dishes later. All of her belongings had arrived three days ago, and the only boxes she'd unpacked were the linens and a few miscellaneous important items – one bowl, one of each piece of silverware, one glass, and one pot, among other things. She picked a random box and pulled it over to the couch. Had to be books or something, judging from its weight. She shrugged and pulled the tape off, rummaging through it, sorting the various items she found inside. A box caught her attention, and she sighed, reaching for it with shaky fingers. She took the small box and leaned back on the couch, opening it slowly and shaking her head. She reached in and pulled out the photos, flipping through them slowly.
They had been taken in college – Megan had taken most of them during her brief stint as a photography major. They were all of Ashley and Nick. One struck her, and she stared at it for a long while. They were in Jimmy's hammock in the back yard, surrounded by trees. He was leaning over her, smiling down at her, and she was laughing. They looked so happy together, and she'd missed that feeling – being needed and loved and appreciated. She missed feeling his arms around her, and his lips on hers. She missed the way his hair smelled, the twinkle in his eye when he smiled at her, his dimples, and how he lit up whenever he saw her. She missed everything about him. Tears streamed down her face as she flipped to the next photo. She was looking at the camera, a bright smile on her face, and he was behind her with his arms wrapped around her shoulders, kissing her cheek. She shook her head and put the pictures away, deciding instead to go for a walk instead of unpack.
Once she got outside her apartment, she decided to go to her campus office and work on some of her lecture notes, maybe clean them up a bit. She hardly ever used them, but it was something that would fill her time. She pulled into her parking spot and jogged up the stairs to her office building, locking the door behind her. She sat down behind her desk and looked around. Her office was cold – no pictures, no awards, not even her diplomas. She sighed. Mental note. Her eyes wandered to the telephone book, and she reached out for it, flipping through the pages until she got to the S's. She ran her finger down the page, stopping at one to write down the address. Then, she turned in her chair and got on her computer, printing out the page she found. She looked at it for a while and then nodded, grabbing her keys and heading back out to the car, just as it started to rain. She swore, and her tires screeched as she pulled out of the lot.
***
Nick sighed and leaned back, sinking into the couch. The television was on, but he wasn't watching it. He'd seen this episode a million times anyway. He just stared at the ceiling and replayed the scene that took place in Ashley's apartment the night before, over and over. He shook his head and swore, scolding himself. He should never have gone over there. The doorbell rang, and he sighed.
"Warrick, I'm fine. Go home and sleep," he called, heading to the door. He opened it, and instantly got nervous. "Ashley, hi."
"I'm sorry." He shook his head.
"Don't," he pleaded. Her gaze dropped, and he sighed. "C'mon in. You're soaked," he noted. She shrugged. Her hair was dripping, her clothes clinging to her slender body. "C'mere," he said, leading her down the hallway. He grabbed a towel from the closet and she took it from him with a timid smile. He led her into his bedroom and opened a drawer, tossing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt onto the bed. "Let's get you out of those wet clothes. I'll put them in the dryer."
"Nick, you don't have to go to all of this trouble," she said quietly. Yeah, he could tell she felt bad. He just wanted her to have a reason to stay at least an hour.
"It's no trouble. Don't want you getting sick." She laughed slightly and nodded. He managed a small smile and left the room.
"You know that's a myth, right?" she called.
"What?"
"Being in the rain making you sick." He didn't say anything back, so she continued. "It actually just makes you cold, which makes you shiver, which makes you use more energy to stay warm, so you get tired and your immune system weakens. There's nothing about being wet itself that makes you sick." He smiled to himself and looked up as she walked out of the bedroom carrying her clothes wrapped in the towel. He took the bundle from her and smirked. She looked down at herself and smiled. "They're a little big." He laughed and nodded.
"Just a little." She watched him put her clothes in the dryer. She looked down at herself again and smiled. His police sweats.
"I'm sorry about last night," she said quietly. He turned to look at her.
"You don't have to apologize," he replied. She shook her head.
"Yes, I do." She looked at him, then looked away quickly. "I at least have to explain. See, when you left, I didn't know what happened to you, where you went, or why, or anything. All I knew is that you were gone without me. I lost you. And it hurt." He sighed, but she continued. "And then ten years later, I find out I just moved to the same city you did, and I couldn't bear to face you. There were so many things I wanted to say." She paused, seeming to try to contain herself.
"So say them," he said gently. She shook her head, all words stopped. "Ash?"
"For the longest time I thought there was something wrong with me." Nick's heart broke. "Like I was the reason you left. It hurt so much that I was complicating your life so much." She sniffed, and he walked to her, putting his arms around her in a soft hug. She leaned into him, but didn't hug back. "I'm so sorry for whatever I did." Nick shook his head.
"It wasn't you, Ashley." She wrenched herself away from him.
"Then what the hell was it?"
"I don't know." She shook her head. "Ashley, look at me. I can't explain it. I just needed to get away." He sighed. "My whole life was spent living up to other people's expectations. I couldn't do that anymore. I had to live my life my way. Make my own choices. I couldn't do that in Texas. Not with people knowing who I was and who my family was. I had to get away and start my own life." She nodded.
"And you couldn't tell me that."
"I guess I could have."
"But you didn't."
"And I regret that, Ashley. But at the time, I felt like everyone I knew was part of the problem. I had to just get away from everything and start from scratch." She nodded slightly. "I'm so sorry I hurt you in the process." He took a breath. "And I'm sorry I never called you when I did get my life straightened out."
"Why didn't you?" He paused.
"I don't know." She nodded. "I was scared."
"Of what?"
"What you would say, how you would react." He paused again and looked away. "If you had moved on." She turned away from him and ran a hand through her wet hair. He took a step toward her and cleared his throat. "I know it isn't really any of my business, but…"
"No," she said quickly. His head lowered.
"I'm sorry," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I know it's hard to believe, but I would have understood if you had. All I wanted was your happiness." She didn't reply. "Ashley, I'm so sorry." She turned slowly, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Me too." He shook his head and walked to her, reaching out to wipe the tears from her cheek.
"You have nothing to be sorry about." She leaned into him, and they stood there for a moment, just holding each other.
"God, I missed you," she whispered into his shoulder. He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead.
"I think I missed you more." She laughed slightly and pulled away.
"I don't know about that." He brushed a wet strand of hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear, noticing her smile fall. "But you know, it has been a long time, and I'm sure we've both changed. I mean, I know I have, and it seems like you have." He nodded with a sigh.
"But I don't think people change that much," he said quietly. She shrugged.
"I don't know." He looked down at her.
"What do you say we try it out?" Her eyes met his, and a slight smile flashed across her face. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. He returned the kiss, melting in the familiar feeling of her embrace. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like. Almost, but not quite. He pulled away, licking his lips. "Damn," he whispered. She smiled. "I missed that." She looked around the room.
"So now what?" she asked timidly. "I mean, we can't exactly pick up where we left off." He took a breath and let it out, wanting to ask, but not sure how she'd react.
"Tell me something." She turned to him and nodded.
"That whole thing with Jimmy…" he trailed off, smiling and shaking his head slightly.
"Exactly like I said. Nothing other than a kiss between two friends from my point of view. I didn't expect it, and it was over before I could do anything about it." She paused and looked at him. "You didn't really think it was that big of a deal, did you?"
"At the time, I did," he said with a snicker. "But now I know better." She smiled and nodded. He looked at her for a while, watching her grow uncomfortable. She never could stand being watched for very long.
"What are you staring at?" she asked slowly. He shook his head, his eyes twinkling at her.
"You," he said slowly. She blushed, looking at him. It was that look – the one he remembered from years ago. It was the look she sent him whenever he said something that embarrassed her – paid her a compliment or anything that brought attention to her. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on in my entire life." She just stared back at him, watching his smile fall slowly as she walked toward him again and kissed him. He shifted his weight slightly. "So, uh, is Jimmy a better kisser than me?" he asked shyly. She laughed, grabbing his arm to keep from falling over.
"You would worry about that, wouldn't you?" she managed between gasps.
"Just tell me," he whined. She smiled and shook her head.
"Not at all." He let out the breath he was holding. "Then again, it wasn't really much of a kiss, so I wouldn't be the expert on that." He rolled his eyes, and she smiled. "You have nothing to worry about," she said, smiling reassuringly. He nodded in satisfaction. "That was the last thing we talked about until last night, wasn't it?" He nodded with a slight grimace. "So I guess we did just pick up where we left off, then." Her face suddenly got very serious. "I never stopped loving you, Nick. I mean, I guess I'm still in love with the Nick I knew back then."
"I'm not that much different from him," Nick said quietly, running his thumb across her cheek, watching her eyes close. "Just all grown up, I guess." Her eyes fluttered open slowly to lock with his, blue combining with brown for an instant. They stared at each other until their lips were just a fraction away from each other's, both closing as they made contact, this kiss much more passionate and desperate from the others. Ashley's fingers immediately went to the buttons on Nick's shirt, frantically working her way down to the last and pushing the garment from his shoulders into a heap on the floor. Her arms looped around his neck, holding him against her in a deep kiss, and she felt his hands slide under the t-shirt he'd given her. He felt her back arch at his touch and marveled in the softness of her skin as his hands traveled up her back, taking the t-shirt with them. He broke away to slide it over her head, and she took in his muscular chest, running her palms over his skin, down his arms. His hands settled on her neck, just below the crook of her jaw as he made swift, nipping kisses at her lips, knowing she wanted more. The tension was mounting - both knew exactly where this was heading, and both were nervous. Ashley fought against the teasing kisses Nick was torturing her with, but knew she couldn't win. Her fingers closed on the snap to his jeans, and she went to work on it, daring him to do the same and let go of his control over her. Before he realized her tactic to steal his advantage, her fingers were locked around him. He moaned against her, unwillingly letting her take control of the kiss. He slid his sweats from her hips, his hands running slowly over her body. He walked her backwards into the bedroom, their lips never breaking apart as he lowered her onto the bed, hovering just inches above her. Her hands pressed against his shoulder blades, urging him forward. They both gasped as he entered her, the sensation familiar, but still new. Both had felt the tension earlier, and both now knew it wouldn't last much longer.
***
Nick woke slowly, groggily, a few hours later. He turned his head and saw her still lying next to him, the sheet wrapped artfully around her body, her back exposed. A small smile formed on his face as he looked at her. She was beautiful, every inch of her. He scooted his body closer to her, settling close behind her. His arm went around her, pulling her against him, and she shifted slightly as he planted a soft kiss on the back of her neck. She smiled in her sleep, pressing back against his warm body.