Rory's POV
This takes place after the season 2 finale, when she's in Washington
I wonder whether he ever thinks of me. He probably hates me. Why wouldn't her? I kissed him, avoided him for three long weeks and then ran off to Washington. I know it was heartless of me but he just makes me so confused. He makes me realise that love isn't as simple as I thought. He makes me realise that maybe I don't love Dean. . .
Who am I kidding? What kind of a person am I? A fickle, bimbo girl that flings her heart all over the place? I thought that I was a loyal, loving girlfriend. Who am I now?
But, I can't blame Jess. I was the one who had the boyfriend. I was the one who kissed him. I was the one that made everything so complicated. Every thing used to be so simple. I would love Dean, not caring for anyone else. Dean is the perfect boyfriend. Jess, on the other hand, is the town menace, sarcastic and gives the impression of being unfeeling. But something more lurks beneath that cool exterior. A sort of mysterious guy, with his unpredictable ways. His passion for reading, something I definitely relate to. And his.I don't know how to describe it.the way he can make me feel like I am the only one that matters to him, despite Luke.
He's so unique. Sometimes, I just feel like wrapping my arms around him, telling him everything is okay. Wait, how can I want to be comforting him? I was the one who caused him pain. I would be like comforting him about the horrible things I've done to him. How ironical. . .
Believe me, I've tried so many times to write a letter to him, to explain everything. To try and tell him that I'm sorry for what I've done to him and that I'm sorry for the way I feel. I feel awful about the way I'm treating Jess, and Dean. Should I tell Dean about the kiss? How would he react? He could break up with me. Where would that leave me? I doubt Jess would welcome me with open arms, not after what I've put him through.
It all comes down to my heart. It try to listen to what it's telling me but it keeps sending mixed messages. It gives me a constant dull ache, but why or who for, I don't really know. I think that's the worst thing; I can't figure out what I really feel. Normally, mom and I would talk it over and usually come up with a solution. But I can't confide in her. She hates Jess. And also, I think she will tell me what I don't want to hear, or to admit. . . that I've fallen for Jess.
I wonder whether he ever thinks of me. He probably hates me. Why wouldn't her? I kissed him, avoided him for three long weeks and then ran off to Washington. I know it was heartless of me but he just makes me so confused. He makes me realise that love isn't as simple as I thought. He makes me realise that maybe I don't love Dean. . .
Who am I kidding? What kind of a person am I? A fickle, bimbo girl that flings her heart all over the place? I thought that I was a loyal, loving girlfriend. Who am I now?
But, I can't blame Jess. I was the one who had the boyfriend. I was the one who kissed him. I was the one that made everything so complicated. Every thing used to be so simple. I would love Dean, not caring for anyone else. Dean is the perfect boyfriend. Jess, on the other hand, is the town menace, sarcastic and gives the impression of being unfeeling. But something more lurks beneath that cool exterior. A sort of mysterious guy, with his unpredictable ways. His passion for reading, something I definitely relate to. And his.I don't know how to describe it.the way he can make me feel like I am the only one that matters to him, despite Luke.
He's so unique. Sometimes, I just feel like wrapping my arms around him, telling him everything is okay. Wait, how can I want to be comforting him? I was the one who caused him pain. I would be like comforting him about the horrible things I've done to him. How ironical. . .
Believe me, I've tried so many times to write a letter to him, to explain everything. To try and tell him that I'm sorry for what I've done to him and that I'm sorry for the way I feel. I feel awful about the way I'm treating Jess, and Dean. Should I tell Dean about the kiss? How would he react? He could break up with me. Where would that leave me? I doubt Jess would welcome me with open arms, not after what I've put him through.
It all comes down to my heart. It try to listen to what it's telling me but it keeps sending mixed messages. It gives me a constant dull ache, but why or who for, I don't really know. I think that's the worst thing; I can't figure out what I really feel. Normally, mom and I would talk it over and usually come up with a solution. But I can't confide in her. She hates Jess. And also, I think she will tell me what I don't want to hear, or to admit. . . that I've fallen for Jess.