Ripples In Time
By: Can (lucyc_23455@yahoo.com)
Spoilers: Up through Unrealized Realities
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own them
Many thanks to gbbarb for reading
Part 3
Chiana walked with John to his new quarters, helping him with the few belongings he owned. Entering the cell, Chiana said, her voice light for him, "Pilot and the DRD's did a good job with the room, John. It's just like your old one." She saw the sudden gloom settle over him, realizing what she said, only too late to retract it. He didn't want the cell to remind him of his old one. It would only keep the memories constant. "Um.maybe I'll ask Pilot to prepare another one."
John held up his hand, appreciating her understanding. "It's ok, Pip. This one will be fine," he replied, moving to put his things away. He worked in silence, each piece being placed in the same spot as they had been in his former quarters for over six arns.
Chiana observed his mechanical movements, seeing the dazed look on his face. "John?" She asked, worried he was shutting down. Chiana had seen that look before and it scared her, remembering when they had found him on Elack.
John finished arranging his room. The tiredness crept over him, only wanting to rest, walking towards his bed, contemplating a dreamless sleep. "Chiana, I just need some sleep now," he said, curling up in his new bed, pulling the covers up.
"You want me to stay?" She asked, willing to sit with him, the worry written on her face.
"I'll be fine," John said, his eyes closing, the physical and mental exhaustion commanding him.
She leaned down and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "I'll see you when you wake up then," Chiana said softly.
"Than." The sleep that had been beckoning finally took him, his words never fully forming.
Chiana knelt beside him, caressing his cheek. "Sleep well, old man." She rose from the floor, feeling only sadness for him. "Don't give up," she whispered, lowering her head and exiting his cell.
xxxxx
D'Argo walked through Moya's corridors in deep thought; the question the other John asked haunting him. 'What if there really wasn't an answer? What the frell would they do?' He knew the two couldn't co-exist on the same ship. Just the little time they had been together cycles ago had caused nothing but tension for everyone. He almost ran into Chiana as he rounded the last corridor, stopping short.
"Where are you going, D'Argo?" She asked, snickering at the surprised look on his face. Chiana had gone back and looked over John's cell to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything.
"I was on my way to see John," he replied, straightening his clothes. "I haven't seen him since last night when I broke the news to him."
"Well he's moved, D'Argo. Pilot readied another room for him," Chiana stated, knowing the Luxan was as sad as she was over this. "John wanted it that way."
The Luxan growled. "This is his home! He shouldn't have to move!" D'Argo moved past her having to see for himself. He stopped in the entrance, dropping his head when he saw no trace of the human in the cell. D'Argo stepped out quickly, leaning his back against the wall, closing his eyes. "Frell!" He shouted, his frustration mounting.
Chiana's heart went out to him, knowing he felt deeply for his friend. Even though they never continued with their relationship after his son left, Chiana still had a special place in her heart for him. She was sure he did also.
Chiana raised her hand to touch his face, calming him. "D'Argo it's ok. I know where he is, but he's sleeping now," she replied, seeing him lay one of his on top of hers.
D'Argo looked down at her, still holding her hand. "Chiana, we can't let him sink again. He may never recover this time. Take me to him," he answered, the anger washed out of his voice.
Chiana looked into his eyes, only to see fear. She knew this was not normal for D'Argo. He always told her warriors never displayed this, whether they felt it or not. Perhaps the human had touched him more than she had thought. "Come with me," she said, leading him by the hand.
xxxxx
Aeryn jolted awake, the sweat pouring off her. She gasped trying to catch her breath, finally breathing deeply, feeling as if she had been running.
The dream came crashing down on her, feeling like it was going to smother her once again. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, trying to get some control back. Aeryn carefully rose, not sure her legs would support her, moving towards the wash basin. She needed something cool. She needed to think clearer. She needed..
Aeryn hit the basin, the water spilling out as she tried to steady herself. Reaching into the bowl she gathered the wetness in her cupped hands and splashed it on her face, relishing the coolness.
"Frell me," Aeryn whispered, shaking now, reaching for the towel, fully awake, knowing this dream was real, just like the other ones.
Aeryn walked slowly back to her bed and sat on the edge of it. She pulled the blanket around her, staring out, thinking about what she had seen. It frightened her horribly. She knew there was no mistake, because the earlier ones had come true.her John returning. Aeryn shivered under the warmth of the blanket, holding herself. "How can I possibly do this?" She questioned, knowing they wouldn't answer. She was on her own.
They had shown her and now it was up to her. Aeryn shrugged off the blanket and slowly rose to her feet, wishing it were all a nightmare.
Swallowing hard, she opened her comm, dreading what was to come. "Pilot, where is the. other.John?" The words were more difficult than she thought they would be.
"Aeryn, he is still in command," Pilot replied. "Ka D'Argo informed us he needed to tend to something." Pilot was relieved she hadn't asked about their John. He didn't want to have to lie to her.
"Thank you, Pilot. Please ask John to wait for me there," Aeryn stated, her voice weary from the disturbed sleep.
Aeryn quickly left her quarters, needing to be alone with John right now. She only hoped D'Argo and Chiana were busy for the microt. Rygel she didn't need to worry about, he'd be eating again at this time of day.
She walked along the corridors, running her hand against Moya's walls, pleading in her mind for some wisdom. Aeryn wanted to remember what Zhaan always said, opening her mind to allow the words to penetrate. She felt a warmth come over, her heart opening, remembering Zhaan's peacefulness and what she had sacrificed for them. Aeryn relaxed, feeling stronger for what lay ahead. She lifted her head, chin up as she entered command.
Aeryn saw him and stopped. She took him in as her heart broke, remembering the time they spent together. It was real and no matter what, it was special. She would always hold onto that. Aeryn knew now she never had to let it go, it was hers to always hold close to her heart.
"John," she said simply, standing in the entrance. "We need to talk."
John turned with a smile on his face. He noticed the somber look on hers, his smile turning into a frown. "What's the matter, babe?" He asked starting towards her.
Aeryn held up her hand. "No, John, stop there."
He did as she asked, not wanting to upset her. "What the frell is wrong now?" John asked, chuckling. "Don't tell me it's the other one."
Aeryn smiled sheepishly, "No John, it's not that," she replied, wishing for a miracle to stop her from having to do this. She slowly walked closer to him, digging deep inside for strength.
As she drew closer, John saw the look in her eyes. He dropped his head, not able to meet them. "You know. don't you," he said, his voice full of anguish, feeling someone had stolen his timeline.
"Yes," Aeryn whispered, her voice pained, her eyes tearing. "Th..they.came.," the lump in her throat growing with each word.
He said the only thing that would meet his lips, the tears glistening in his eyes as he met hers. "I love you, Aeryn Sun. now. forever. and always."
She smiled as the tears soaked her face, taking his face in her hands. "I know."
Aeryn embraced him tightly, their tears mingling, their love still strong. They held each other for a quarter of an arn, Aeryn finally breaking away.
Wiping the tears away from both their faces, she said softly, "You have never been away from my heart and you never will."
John smiled softly, caressing her face, content with the love he had, knowing it was time. "Ready, Aeryn? It's up to me now," he said, the smile still on his face. He was longing inside, but he couldn't let her see that. It was time for him to do what he was destined for.
xxxxx
He nodded; pleased she was doing what was necessary. His superiors would receive a positive report on the situation, relieved they had allowed him the authority to direct this unexpected setback. He only hoped nothing else stepped into their path.
xxxxx
D'Argo stepped into John's new quarters. He saw the sleeping figure, determined it would not be this way. D'Argo walked over to the bed and shook John roughly. He would wake up and fight for what he wanted.
Chiana hurried behind D'Argo, surprised at what the Luxan was doing. She grabbed his arm and tried to pull him away. "Leave him the frell alone, D'Argo. He needs the sleep!"
D'Argo spun around and faced her. "I know John hurts inside, but nothing will ever get better if he just sleeps. We saw that happen before, Chiana, and look what it did to him," the Luxan expressed, determined not to let it happen again. He knew his friend would be angry, but so be it.
Chiana nodded, dropping her hand from his arm. "You're right. I'm sorry D'Argo, I wasn't thinking," she replied walking towards the closet. "Wait here." She emerged with a glass of water, knowing a sure way to wake the human since he wasn't responding to D'Argo.
Leaning over John, Chiana warned D'Argo. "You might want to step back." D'Argo nodded puzzled by the glass. Chiana had never tried this, she only remembered John talking about it when he spoke of jokes on Erp. She tilted the glass over his face and emptied it upon him, soaking him and the bed covers.
John shot up gulping for breath. He started coughing when some of the water entered his mouth choking him. Clearing his lungs, he swung his legs over the side of the cot and looked up at Chiana with anger in his eyes. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He shouted, watching Chiana put some distance between herself and him.
D'Argo was shocked that Chiana had thought of this, suppressing the smile that threatened. She never ceased to amaze him. The Luxan cleared his throat and spoke. "She was only trying to wake you John since you didn't respond to me."
"And who the hell said I wanted to wake up?" He snapped, turning his head towards the Luxan. "Maybe I like it this way!" John rose to his feet and brushed past D'Argo, reaching for the towel to dry himself off. John lowered his voice, leaning his hands on the table. "So what the frell is so important that you had to wake me? I'm sure Johnny boy can take care of whatever it is."
D'Argo heard the bitterness in his voice. He sighed before he spoke. "John, you have to face this. now. You are only pushing Aeryn into his arms by acting this way."
John chuckled sarcastically, staring at the wall. "You got that wrong D. She made that choice the first night he came aboard." Every muscle in John's body tightened thinking of her in his arms again. He fingered his lip, the pain running deep. He pulled away from the table unable to think about it anymore.
D'Argo and Chiana watched him as he reached for a fresh T, picking up the black one, only to stare at it for a microt before flinging it away. John rummaged through all his shirts until he was satisfied, donning the green one from before. "Wouldn't want her to get us mixed up." His words were full of sarcasm, his soul consumed by hatred for the hand fate dealt him. "I think I'm going to get something to eat," he said, not caring whether the others followed or not.
Chiana and D'Argo looked at each other speechless. When they saw John put the shirt on it dredged up disturbing memories from the past, ones they only wanted to forget. Why did John want to remember?
Baffled, they followed him from a distance to the center chamber, knowing he needed some space as the human called it.
Rygel was the only one in the chamber as John entered. John ignored him, having nothing to say. The Hynerian watched the human fix his plate and take a place at the table, never once looking at him.
"So which one are you?" Rygel asked bluntly, wanting to know who he was sharing a meal with.
John looked up snickering. "Can't you tell?" He asked, pulling on the shirt. Conversation wasn't something he was interested in. He just wanted to eat in peace and think.
"Oh!" Rygel said quietly, wishing he hadn't asked. He got the distinct impression it was best to eat in silence at this microt.
He was relieved when he saw Chiana and D'Argo enter the room. "I'm glad you are here. Now I can converse civilly with someone!" Crichton's demeanor insulted Rygel. He was a Dominar after all.
D'Argo and Chiana looked at him hastily and said at the same time. "Shut up Rygel!"
The indignation rose in Rygel. "I do not have to put up with this! I can easily eat in my quarters!" He rose in the throne sled and exited the chamber.
John sat back, dropping the food cube, looking at the ceiling. "Damn! I didn't mean to insult the little guy!" He knew Rygel didn't mean any harm. It was him, edgy over Aeryn. "I sure bring out the best in everyone these days," John stated, closing his eyes, wishing he could have the last two cycles back to do all over again. He had failed somewhere along the line, only where he didn't know. But he must have for Aeryn to be willing to drop him so easily.
"John it's not your fault. Rygel has a way about him. He's.um. offending," D'Argo said for lack of a better word.
John abruptly rose from his chair, knocking it over in the process. "No D, it's my fault, just like this is," he stated, picking up the chair. "It's time I see him again.way past," John replied, dreading the encounter, but knowing it had to be this way. If he screwed up, he at least wanted to know why. Only Aeryn could tell him and he wanted the truth. It was the only thing that might possibly help him now.
Chiana stared at him. "Are you sure you want to do this, Crichton?" She only feared for him. This could be the worse thing for him, seeing the two of them together.
"I'm sure, Chi. D'Argo was right all along." John had finally let D's words penetrate, knowing they held nothing but truth. It was time he moved beyond his fears.
D'Argo tapped his comm, pleased that John was willing to face the inevitable. "Pilot, can you tell me where the other John is?"
"D'Argo it seems they are headed towards your location," Pilot replied. He wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing. Pilot notified the DRD's, especially 1812 to head to the chamber and monitor their behavior.
Just microts after Pilot disclosed their location; Aeryn and John entered the room. Their John wasn't prepared as he felt his legs give out, lowering himself to his seat. This wasn't the way he wanted to meet his twin, but it was better than lying on the floor.
All parties looked intensely at each other, Aeryn speaking first. "I felt it was time for all of us to meet," she said dryly, glancing at the John who had been on Moya, knowing it wasn't like him to be sitting at a microt like this.
D'Argo and Chiana nodded, acknowledging their presence. John was the only one who looked away as if they didn't exist, the pain coming back in throes, feeling his breath catch in his throat. Hearing about him and seeing him were two different things, John realized now, knowing he wasn't ready for this moment. He labored to breathe, the harsh reality hitting home.
Aeryn realized the shock that had overcome John, running to his side. His mouth was open wide, trying to pull in the air his body was suddenly deprived of. "Close your mouth John," she commanded, remembering his physiology. "Breathe through your nose only!"
John did as she instructed, only wanting to refuse her help, but knowing he couldn't. She was the only one who knew about the human body anymore. The rest had died or left Moya. 1812 sidled up to him, calming him with his prattle. John took a deep even breath and settled the roaring in his heart, knowing he had gotten past the worst.
Aeryn saw the color come back into his cheeks, rising to her feet. "There is much we have to discuss, John," she said sincerely. She understood he didn't trust her anymore, but this was one time he would have to if they wanted the universe to survive.
John rested his head in his hands, trying to compose himself before dealing with his twin. The other John saw the grief he felt and took a seat across the table from him.
"John, I'm here. in front of you. take your time," he said, realizing the torment he must have put him through returning after all this time. Their love was the same, only he didn't have the right to it anymore. How could he have done this to his own?
"Can we please be alone, Chiana and D'Argo? There is much the twins must say and do." Aeryn saw the skeptical looks on their faces, but knew she couldn't explain it to them. She couldn't divulge what she knew.even to them. "Trust me," she said, her eyes pleading for their cooperation.
Chiana reached across the table, finding John's hand, taking it into her own. "Do you want us to leave, John?" She asked softly, ready to do whatever he asked. The twin saw the interaction, remembering the days when he had it, knowing it could only be a memory for him. John was luckier than he knew. For now he would at least still be able to feel their touch in the cycles to come. In so many ways he envied him, but at the same time, he had experienced Aeryn's love and that was a gift in itself. He would cherish it always.
John lifted his head and looked around the room, focusing on each face. He felt surprised when he didn't feel threatened by his twin. Hesitantly he said, staring at his twin, "Sure guys, go ahead. I'll be fine here." John was surprised by his own words, relaxing in his seat, unable to take his eyes off his twin.
Aeryn watched the others leave before proceeding. "John, I know you don't trust my love anymore, but there is something larger here that we must deal with," she said, standing away from both of them. She knew how he must have viewed the other night, feeling only sorrow for the words she had used, but he wouldn't understand now if she tried to explain.
John laughed hysterically, the tears streaming from his laughter and his pain. When the laughter stopped he looked at her, his eyes red. "Ya think so Aeryn? Damn I can't imagine why," he said, looking away, staring down at the table. She had taken his heart and once again betrayed it. There wasn't much more he could take in the frelled universe he lived in. "Screw you," he mumbled, not willing to let her take anymore of him.
Aeryn winced, hearing his final words, but not blaming him for them.
The other John couldn't let her take anymore blame, seeing how the words had cut through her. "John, listen to me. Nothing happened between Aeryn and me last night. We only talked.unfortunately," John replied, looking up at Aeryn, his eyes warm with love, wishing they could have had at least a night together.
Aeryn thanked him with her eyes; wishing things hadn't turned out so frelled. John didn't believe any of what he heard. They would sooner lie to him than tell the truth. He knew they wanted something so they would never tell him what really happened. "Sure, and I'm supposed to believe that," he said, his voice dull, all emotion spent. He found he couldn't blame him anymore since they loved the same person. All he could do was wonder why she felt the need to be with him.
"Believe it, John. It's the truth. Aeryn loves you and couldn't betray what you have had for the last two cycles," the other John replied. "It was best for you, but not for me. I was willing to win her over again," he said smiling, a twinkle in his eye for Aeryn. She noticed it bringing a huge smile to her lips, her eyes lighting up in happiness.
"It's true, John. But now we must get to work. Are you ready?" Aeryn asked, hoping she had won back some trust.
John believed them for some reason, not really sure why. What he did know was there was some urgency to what they wanted. Whatever it was he knew he would cooperate, people didn't come back just for the hell of it he reasoned in his mind.
There was a long pause as John contemplated the question. "What the hell do you want from me?"
Part four tomorrow
Many thanks to gbbarb for reading
Part 3
Chiana walked with John to his new quarters, helping him with the few belongings he owned. Entering the cell, Chiana said, her voice light for him, "Pilot and the DRD's did a good job with the room, John. It's just like your old one." She saw the sudden gloom settle over him, realizing what she said, only too late to retract it. He didn't want the cell to remind him of his old one. It would only keep the memories constant. "Um.maybe I'll ask Pilot to prepare another one."
John held up his hand, appreciating her understanding. "It's ok, Pip. This one will be fine," he replied, moving to put his things away. He worked in silence, each piece being placed in the same spot as they had been in his former quarters for over six arns.
Chiana observed his mechanical movements, seeing the dazed look on his face. "John?" She asked, worried he was shutting down. Chiana had seen that look before and it scared her, remembering when they had found him on Elack.
John finished arranging his room. The tiredness crept over him, only wanting to rest, walking towards his bed, contemplating a dreamless sleep. "Chiana, I just need some sleep now," he said, curling up in his new bed, pulling the covers up.
"You want me to stay?" She asked, willing to sit with him, the worry written on her face.
"I'll be fine," John said, his eyes closing, the physical and mental exhaustion commanding him.
She leaned down and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "I'll see you when you wake up then," Chiana said softly.
"Than." The sleep that had been beckoning finally took him, his words never fully forming.
Chiana knelt beside him, caressing his cheek. "Sleep well, old man." She rose from the floor, feeling only sadness for him. "Don't give up," she whispered, lowering her head and exiting his cell.
xxxxx
D'Argo walked through Moya's corridors in deep thought; the question the other John asked haunting him. 'What if there really wasn't an answer? What the frell would they do?' He knew the two couldn't co-exist on the same ship. Just the little time they had been together cycles ago had caused nothing but tension for everyone. He almost ran into Chiana as he rounded the last corridor, stopping short.
"Where are you going, D'Argo?" She asked, snickering at the surprised look on his face. Chiana had gone back and looked over John's cell to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything.
"I was on my way to see John," he replied, straightening his clothes. "I haven't seen him since last night when I broke the news to him."
"Well he's moved, D'Argo. Pilot readied another room for him," Chiana stated, knowing the Luxan was as sad as she was over this. "John wanted it that way."
The Luxan growled. "This is his home! He shouldn't have to move!" D'Argo moved past her having to see for himself. He stopped in the entrance, dropping his head when he saw no trace of the human in the cell. D'Argo stepped out quickly, leaning his back against the wall, closing his eyes. "Frell!" He shouted, his frustration mounting.
Chiana's heart went out to him, knowing he felt deeply for his friend. Even though they never continued with their relationship after his son left, Chiana still had a special place in her heart for him. She was sure he did also.
Chiana raised her hand to touch his face, calming him. "D'Argo it's ok. I know where he is, but he's sleeping now," she replied, seeing him lay one of his on top of hers.
D'Argo looked down at her, still holding her hand. "Chiana, we can't let him sink again. He may never recover this time. Take me to him," he answered, the anger washed out of his voice.
Chiana looked into his eyes, only to see fear. She knew this was not normal for D'Argo. He always told her warriors never displayed this, whether they felt it or not. Perhaps the human had touched him more than she had thought. "Come with me," she said, leading him by the hand.
xxxxx
Aeryn jolted awake, the sweat pouring off her. She gasped trying to catch her breath, finally breathing deeply, feeling as if she had been running.
The dream came crashing down on her, feeling like it was going to smother her once again. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, trying to get some control back. Aeryn carefully rose, not sure her legs would support her, moving towards the wash basin. She needed something cool. She needed to think clearer. She needed..
Aeryn hit the basin, the water spilling out as she tried to steady herself. Reaching into the bowl she gathered the wetness in her cupped hands and splashed it on her face, relishing the coolness.
"Frell me," Aeryn whispered, shaking now, reaching for the towel, fully awake, knowing this dream was real, just like the other ones.
Aeryn walked slowly back to her bed and sat on the edge of it. She pulled the blanket around her, staring out, thinking about what she had seen. It frightened her horribly. She knew there was no mistake, because the earlier ones had come true.her John returning. Aeryn shivered under the warmth of the blanket, holding herself. "How can I possibly do this?" She questioned, knowing they wouldn't answer. She was on her own.
They had shown her and now it was up to her. Aeryn shrugged off the blanket and slowly rose to her feet, wishing it were all a nightmare.
Swallowing hard, she opened her comm, dreading what was to come. "Pilot, where is the. other.John?" The words were more difficult than she thought they would be.
"Aeryn, he is still in command," Pilot replied. "Ka D'Argo informed us he needed to tend to something." Pilot was relieved she hadn't asked about their John. He didn't want to have to lie to her.
"Thank you, Pilot. Please ask John to wait for me there," Aeryn stated, her voice weary from the disturbed sleep.
Aeryn quickly left her quarters, needing to be alone with John right now. She only hoped D'Argo and Chiana were busy for the microt. Rygel she didn't need to worry about, he'd be eating again at this time of day.
She walked along the corridors, running her hand against Moya's walls, pleading in her mind for some wisdom. Aeryn wanted to remember what Zhaan always said, opening her mind to allow the words to penetrate. She felt a warmth come over, her heart opening, remembering Zhaan's peacefulness and what she had sacrificed for them. Aeryn relaxed, feeling stronger for what lay ahead. She lifted her head, chin up as she entered command.
Aeryn saw him and stopped. She took him in as her heart broke, remembering the time they spent together. It was real and no matter what, it was special. She would always hold onto that. Aeryn knew now she never had to let it go, it was hers to always hold close to her heart.
"John," she said simply, standing in the entrance. "We need to talk."
John turned with a smile on his face. He noticed the somber look on hers, his smile turning into a frown. "What's the matter, babe?" He asked starting towards her.
Aeryn held up her hand. "No, John, stop there."
He did as she asked, not wanting to upset her. "What the frell is wrong now?" John asked, chuckling. "Don't tell me it's the other one."
Aeryn smiled sheepishly, "No John, it's not that," she replied, wishing for a miracle to stop her from having to do this. She slowly walked closer to him, digging deep inside for strength.
As she drew closer, John saw the look in her eyes. He dropped his head, not able to meet them. "You know. don't you," he said, his voice full of anguish, feeling someone had stolen his timeline.
"Yes," Aeryn whispered, her voice pained, her eyes tearing. "Th..they.came.," the lump in her throat growing with each word.
He said the only thing that would meet his lips, the tears glistening in his eyes as he met hers. "I love you, Aeryn Sun. now. forever. and always."
She smiled as the tears soaked her face, taking his face in her hands. "I know."
Aeryn embraced him tightly, their tears mingling, their love still strong. They held each other for a quarter of an arn, Aeryn finally breaking away.
Wiping the tears away from both their faces, she said softly, "You have never been away from my heart and you never will."
John smiled softly, caressing her face, content with the love he had, knowing it was time. "Ready, Aeryn? It's up to me now," he said, the smile still on his face. He was longing inside, but he couldn't let her see that. It was time for him to do what he was destined for.
xxxxx
He nodded; pleased she was doing what was necessary. His superiors would receive a positive report on the situation, relieved they had allowed him the authority to direct this unexpected setback. He only hoped nothing else stepped into their path.
xxxxx
D'Argo stepped into John's new quarters. He saw the sleeping figure, determined it would not be this way. D'Argo walked over to the bed and shook John roughly. He would wake up and fight for what he wanted.
Chiana hurried behind D'Argo, surprised at what the Luxan was doing. She grabbed his arm and tried to pull him away. "Leave him the frell alone, D'Argo. He needs the sleep!"
D'Argo spun around and faced her. "I know John hurts inside, but nothing will ever get better if he just sleeps. We saw that happen before, Chiana, and look what it did to him," the Luxan expressed, determined not to let it happen again. He knew his friend would be angry, but so be it.
Chiana nodded, dropping her hand from his arm. "You're right. I'm sorry D'Argo, I wasn't thinking," she replied walking towards the closet. "Wait here." She emerged with a glass of water, knowing a sure way to wake the human since he wasn't responding to D'Argo.
Leaning over John, Chiana warned D'Argo. "You might want to step back." D'Argo nodded puzzled by the glass. Chiana had never tried this, she only remembered John talking about it when he spoke of jokes on Erp. She tilted the glass over his face and emptied it upon him, soaking him and the bed covers.
John shot up gulping for breath. He started coughing when some of the water entered his mouth choking him. Clearing his lungs, he swung his legs over the side of the cot and looked up at Chiana with anger in his eyes. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He shouted, watching Chiana put some distance between herself and him.
D'Argo was shocked that Chiana had thought of this, suppressing the smile that threatened. She never ceased to amaze him. The Luxan cleared his throat and spoke. "She was only trying to wake you John since you didn't respond to me."
"And who the hell said I wanted to wake up?" He snapped, turning his head towards the Luxan. "Maybe I like it this way!" John rose to his feet and brushed past D'Argo, reaching for the towel to dry himself off. John lowered his voice, leaning his hands on the table. "So what the frell is so important that you had to wake me? I'm sure Johnny boy can take care of whatever it is."
D'Argo heard the bitterness in his voice. He sighed before he spoke. "John, you have to face this. now. You are only pushing Aeryn into his arms by acting this way."
John chuckled sarcastically, staring at the wall. "You got that wrong D. She made that choice the first night he came aboard." Every muscle in John's body tightened thinking of her in his arms again. He fingered his lip, the pain running deep. He pulled away from the table unable to think about it anymore.
D'Argo and Chiana watched him as he reached for a fresh T, picking up the black one, only to stare at it for a microt before flinging it away. John rummaged through all his shirts until he was satisfied, donning the green one from before. "Wouldn't want her to get us mixed up." His words were full of sarcasm, his soul consumed by hatred for the hand fate dealt him. "I think I'm going to get something to eat," he said, not caring whether the others followed or not.
Chiana and D'Argo looked at each other speechless. When they saw John put the shirt on it dredged up disturbing memories from the past, ones they only wanted to forget. Why did John want to remember?
Baffled, they followed him from a distance to the center chamber, knowing he needed some space as the human called it.
Rygel was the only one in the chamber as John entered. John ignored him, having nothing to say. The Hynerian watched the human fix his plate and take a place at the table, never once looking at him.
"So which one are you?" Rygel asked bluntly, wanting to know who he was sharing a meal with.
John looked up snickering. "Can't you tell?" He asked, pulling on the shirt. Conversation wasn't something he was interested in. He just wanted to eat in peace and think.
"Oh!" Rygel said quietly, wishing he hadn't asked. He got the distinct impression it was best to eat in silence at this microt.
He was relieved when he saw Chiana and D'Argo enter the room. "I'm glad you are here. Now I can converse civilly with someone!" Crichton's demeanor insulted Rygel. He was a Dominar after all.
D'Argo and Chiana looked at him hastily and said at the same time. "Shut up Rygel!"
The indignation rose in Rygel. "I do not have to put up with this! I can easily eat in my quarters!" He rose in the throne sled and exited the chamber.
John sat back, dropping the food cube, looking at the ceiling. "Damn! I didn't mean to insult the little guy!" He knew Rygel didn't mean any harm. It was him, edgy over Aeryn. "I sure bring out the best in everyone these days," John stated, closing his eyes, wishing he could have the last two cycles back to do all over again. He had failed somewhere along the line, only where he didn't know. But he must have for Aeryn to be willing to drop him so easily.
"John it's not your fault. Rygel has a way about him. He's.um. offending," D'Argo said for lack of a better word.
John abruptly rose from his chair, knocking it over in the process. "No D, it's my fault, just like this is," he stated, picking up the chair. "It's time I see him again.way past," John replied, dreading the encounter, but knowing it had to be this way. If he screwed up, he at least wanted to know why. Only Aeryn could tell him and he wanted the truth. It was the only thing that might possibly help him now.
Chiana stared at him. "Are you sure you want to do this, Crichton?" She only feared for him. This could be the worse thing for him, seeing the two of them together.
"I'm sure, Chi. D'Argo was right all along." John had finally let D's words penetrate, knowing they held nothing but truth. It was time he moved beyond his fears.
D'Argo tapped his comm, pleased that John was willing to face the inevitable. "Pilot, can you tell me where the other John is?"
"D'Argo it seems they are headed towards your location," Pilot replied. He wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing. Pilot notified the DRD's, especially 1812 to head to the chamber and monitor their behavior.
Just microts after Pilot disclosed their location; Aeryn and John entered the room. Their John wasn't prepared as he felt his legs give out, lowering himself to his seat. This wasn't the way he wanted to meet his twin, but it was better than lying on the floor.
All parties looked intensely at each other, Aeryn speaking first. "I felt it was time for all of us to meet," she said dryly, glancing at the John who had been on Moya, knowing it wasn't like him to be sitting at a microt like this.
D'Argo and Chiana nodded, acknowledging their presence. John was the only one who looked away as if they didn't exist, the pain coming back in throes, feeling his breath catch in his throat. Hearing about him and seeing him were two different things, John realized now, knowing he wasn't ready for this moment. He labored to breathe, the harsh reality hitting home.
Aeryn realized the shock that had overcome John, running to his side. His mouth was open wide, trying to pull in the air his body was suddenly deprived of. "Close your mouth John," she commanded, remembering his physiology. "Breathe through your nose only!"
John did as she instructed, only wanting to refuse her help, but knowing he couldn't. She was the only one who knew about the human body anymore. The rest had died or left Moya. 1812 sidled up to him, calming him with his prattle. John took a deep even breath and settled the roaring in his heart, knowing he had gotten past the worst.
Aeryn saw the color come back into his cheeks, rising to her feet. "There is much we have to discuss, John," she said sincerely. She understood he didn't trust her anymore, but this was one time he would have to if they wanted the universe to survive.
John rested his head in his hands, trying to compose himself before dealing with his twin. The other John saw the grief he felt and took a seat across the table from him.
"John, I'm here. in front of you. take your time," he said, realizing the torment he must have put him through returning after all this time. Their love was the same, only he didn't have the right to it anymore. How could he have done this to his own?
"Can we please be alone, Chiana and D'Argo? There is much the twins must say and do." Aeryn saw the skeptical looks on their faces, but knew she couldn't explain it to them. She couldn't divulge what she knew.even to them. "Trust me," she said, her eyes pleading for their cooperation.
Chiana reached across the table, finding John's hand, taking it into her own. "Do you want us to leave, John?" She asked softly, ready to do whatever he asked. The twin saw the interaction, remembering the days when he had it, knowing it could only be a memory for him. John was luckier than he knew. For now he would at least still be able to feel their touch in the cycles to come. In so many ways he envied him, but at the same time, he had experienced Aeryn's love and that was a gift in itself. He would cherish it always.
John lifted his head and looked around the room, focusing on each face. He felt surprised when he didn't feel threatened by his twin. Hesitantly he said, staring at his twin, "Sure guys, go ahead. I'll be fine here." John was surprised by his own words, relaxing in his seat, unable to take his eyes off his twin.
Aeryn watched the others leave before proceeding. "John, I know you don't trust my love anymore, but there is something larger here that we must deal with," she said, standing away from both of them. She knew how he must have viewed the other night, feeling only sorrow for the words she had used, but he wouldn't understand now if she tried to explain.
John laughed hysterically, the tears streaming from his laughter and his pain. When the laughter stopped he looked at her, his eyes red. "Ya think so Aeryn? Damn I can't imagine why," he said, looking away, staring down at the table. She had taken his heart and once again betrayed it. There wasn't much more he could take in the frelled universe he lived in. "Screw you," he mumbled, not willing to let her take anymore of him.
Aeryn winced, hearing his final words, but not blaming him for them.
The other John couldn't let her take anymore blame, seeing how the words had cut through her. "John, listen to me. Nothing happened between Aeryn and me last night. We only talked.unfortunately," John replied, looking up at Aeryn, his eyes warm with love, wishing they could have had at least a night together.
Aeryn thanked him with her eyes; wishing things hadn't turned out so frelled. John didn't believe any of what he heard. They would sooner lie to him than tell the truth. He knew they wanted something so they would never tell him what really happened. "Sure, and I'm supposed to believe that," he said, his voice dull, all emotion spent. He found he couldn't blame him anymore since they loved the same person. All he could do was wonder why she felt the need to be with him.
"Believe it, John. It's the truth. Aeryn loves you and couldn't betray what you have had for the last two cycles," the other John replied. "It was best for you, but not for me. I was willing to win her over again," he said smiling, a twinkle in his eye for Aeryn. She noticed it bringing a huge smile to her lips, her eyes lighting up in happiness.
"It's true, John. But now we must get to work. Are you ready?" Aeryn asked, hoping she had won back some trust.
John believed them for some reason, not really sure why. What he did know was there was some urgency to what they wanted. Whatever it was he knew he would cooperate, people didn't come back just for the hell of it he reasoned in his mind.
There was a long pause as John contemplated the question. "What the hell do you want from me?"
Part four tomorrow