Chapter 5 (thanks for the reviews! Keep them coming, good or bad!)
Soda and me sit silently for a long time. Soda finally says, "He didn't mean it, Ponyboy. He's just mad. You knew he'd be mad." But Darry hadn't just said he didn't want me anymore, he'd also said he didn't want Sodapop anymore, and that hurt. "All you have to do is quit. Do you think you can do that?" "Soda, I can't stop. I've tried. One time, pretty early on, I did quit for about a week, but then I needed it again. I need it more than cigarettes, more than chocolate, and more than Kayla. She got me started, but it's ME who can't seem to quit!" He stared at me. I realized at that moment that it had never occurred to him I was actually addicted. He took this as a bump in the road, never thought I wouldn't be able to quit. "I'm sorry, Sodapop, I'm really sorry." Soda looks down, as if the sight of me is too painful. "How could you have let this happen, Ponyboy? You were so smart, doing so well in school, so good at track. We were all just about over Dally and Johnny's death, and then you had to pull this. I just don't understand, won't ever understand, how you could have let this happen. I just.just.I don't get it." Darry reentered the room. "Ponyboy, you're grounded for however long it takes us to get this thing under control, no less than 6 months. I mean no NOTHING after school. I already called the coach. No track. No seeing anyone 'cept for me, Soda, Steve, and sometimes Two-bit. No movies on the weekends. And NO seeing that Kayla girl." Sodapop looks at Darry, questionably. "And just how, exactly, are you going to KNOW if he comes strait home after school or if he stays out on the weekends or if he sneaks out at night. And by the way, Kayla goes to his school. How are you gonna know if he's off it or not, Darry?" "I'm doing everything I know to do, Soda. I guess he'll have to go with Two-bit after school most days. Two-bit normally goes to the gas- station anyways. He'll just have to stay there with you." Soda shakes his head. "Nope. I have to work, Darry. I don't have time to baby-sit Ponyboy. Sorry." "No, Soda, I'm sorry. We don't have any other choice. Unless you want Ponyboy and you to go to a children's home, you're going to have to help." They're acting like I'm not even there, like this conversation doesn't include me at all. So I say, "Hey, I don't need a babysitter, I'm fine all by myself. Just, oh, I don't know, just send me to the school counselor or something. And don't make me stop seeing Kayla. She has nothin' to do with this." Darry and Soda both look at me like I've lost my mind. They don't think it will work, they need more convincing. And as for Kayla, they just don't like her because of what Sandy did to Sodapop last year. I'm losing my cool. "Ponyboy, you can't kick this alone. And Kayla, well, Ponyboy, she's bad news. I'm sorry, but you're gonna hafta stay away from her. Believe me, you'll live." Sodapop was giving me one of his This-is-the-way-it-is speeches. "How come? Lord knows you're not the world's best at staying away from girls that you know are bad news. And Darry, I thought you didn't even care about it. That IS what you said, isn't it? That you were sick of dealing with me and you weren't going to do it anymore? That you weren't even gonna try to get me to quit? And now you've decided to just make my life stop. I don't need a babysitter, Darry. I just need to have the freedom to make my own decisions. Can you just give me that?" "I have, Pony. You screwed up. I know what I said but it wasn't true. I'm going to help you however I can. But this is the only way I can come up with and you're going to have to deal with things MY way." I feel my face getting red. "Trust me, Darry! You used to trust me! Can't you find it in you to just trust me?" Darry shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Ponyboy. I can't."
Soda and me sit silently for a long time. Soda finally says, "He didn't mean it, Ponyboy. He's just mad. You knew he'd be mad." But Darry hadn't just said he didn't want me anymore, he'd also said he didn't want Sodapop anymore, and that hurt. "All you have to do is quit. Do you think you can do that?" "Soda, I can't stop. I've tried. One time, pretty early on, I did quit for about a week, but then I needed it again. I need it more than cigarettes, more than chocolate, and more than Kayla. She got me started, but it's ME who can't seem to quit!" He stared at me. I realized at that moment that it had never occurred to him I was actually addicted. He took this as a bump in the road, never thought I wouldn't be able to quit. "I'm sorry, Sodapop, I'm really sorry." Soda looks down, as if the sight of me is too painful. "How could you have let this happen, Ponyboy? You were so smart, doing so well in school, so good at track. We were all just about over Dally and Johnny's death, and then you had to pull this. I just don't understand, won't ever understand, how you could have let this happen. I just.just.I don't get it." Darry reentered the room. "Ponyboy, you're grounded for however long it takes us to get this thing under control, no less than 6 months. I mean no NOTHING after school. I already called the coach. No track. No seeing anyone 'cept for me, Soda, Steve, and sometimes Two-bit. No movies on the weekends. And NO seeing that Kayla girl." Sodapop looks at Darry, questionably. "And just how, exactly, are you going to KNOW if he comes strait home after school or if he stays out on the weekends or if he sneaks out at night. And by the way, Kayla goes to his school. How are you gonna know if he's off it or not, Darry?" "I'm doing everything I know to do, Soda. I guess he'll have to go with Two-bit after school most days. Two-bit normally goes to the gas- station anyways. He'll just have to stay there with you." Soda shakes his head. "Nope. I have to work, Darry. I don't have time to baby-sit Ponyboy. Sorry." "No, Soda, I'm sorry. We don't have any other choice. Unless you want Ponyboy and you to go to a children's home, you're going to have to help." They're acting like I'm not even there, like this conversation doesn't include me at all. So I say, "Hey, I don't need a babysitter, I'm fine all by myself. Just, oh, I don't know, just send me to the school counselor or something. And don't make me stop seeing Kayla. She has nothin' to do with this." Darry and Soda both look at me like I've lost my mind. They don't think it will work, they need more convincing. And as for Kayla, they just don't like her because of what Sandy did to Sodapop last year. I'm losing my cool. "Ponyboy, you can't kick this alone. And Kayla, well, Ponyboy, she's bad news. I'm sorry, but you're gonna hafta stay away from her. Believe me, you'll live." Sodapop was giving me one of his This-is-the-way-it-is speeches. "How come? Lord knows you're not the world's best at staying away from girls that you know are bad news. And Darry, I thought you didn't even care about it. That IS what you said, isn't it? That you were sick of dealing with me and you weren't going to do it anymore? That you weren't even gonna try to get me to quit? And now you've decided to just make my life stop. I don't need a babysitter, Darry. I just need to have the freedom to make my own decisions. Can you just give me that?" "I have, Pony. You screwed up. I know what I said but it wasn't true. I'm going to help you however I can. But this is the only way I can come up with and you're going to have to deal with things MY way." I feel my face getting red. "Trust me, Darry! You used to trust me! Can't you find it in you to just trust me?" Darry shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Ponyboy. I can't."