Chapter 12 (Thanks for the reviews! Please keep sending and tell me what
you think!)
"What are you thinking about? Huh? You've always been a good kid, but now, your, your different." Sodapop frowns at me. I am sorry that it happened; I shouldn't have smoked it again. When Darry found out that I had, he panicked.
Now here we are, at the dead end of the road. That's what Darry says, anyway. That if I don't quit after this, he's not sure what he can do.
"What do you think mom and dad would think, huh, Ponyboy?"
Soda's words pierce my heart. Mom. Dad. What would they think? They'd be awful disappointed in me. Darry's tried hard and done good, and they'd be real proud of him. Sodapop's gotten into the world, gotten a job, and stayed light-hearted and fun. They'd be proud of him. But me, they'd be real disappointed in me. I've let them down.
The next step in getting me off Marijuana is that Two-bit, Steve, Darry, and Soda are going to be here along with the counselor. Then they're all supposed to tell me why I shouldn't take the drugs. Basically, they're supposed to pressure me out of taking them. I'd like to say it'd do no good, but maybe it will. It's the only thing I have left to hope for, that maybe it will help.
I have an hour before they'll be here, and I really want to talk about something else for awhile. "Sodapop, how's Sandy?"
I expect to see pain on his face, but there's none. "Bitchy, as usual. She wants us to get back together, says she doesn't care what her mom thinks, she wants to marry me and she's sorry about everything and that she loves me. It was kinda fun, telling her I didn't give a shit and to get lost."
I blink and look again, making sure that that's my brother speaking, telling me that he blew off Sandy like that. "Soda, um, don't get me wrong, I'm on your side, but, well, weren't you a little harsh? It must've taken her a lotta guts to say that to you, and maybe you coulda let her down easier?"
It feels good, talking about Soda's problems. It feels like no time has passed at all, like we're still as close as we used to be, before Johnny and Dallas died.
"Nope, no easier way of telling her how I feel, I'm afraid. She did seem a little quiet after that, though. I went ahead and drove her home, but she seemed reluctant to tell me what's all going on with her in jerk-land. I think she must've been a little hurt." The sarcasm in my brother's voice is calming, almost fun, in a way.
"Yeah, ok, as long as you don't think you were too hard on her." I smile in his direction, and surprisingly, he smiles back.
We're quiet for a long time. Words are too painful right now, only silence will do. That way we can just sit and enjoy each others' company. But Soda eventually breaks the silence.
"Ponyboy, I know that a whole lot has been happening lately, and it's easy to get caught up in life, and yes, you made a bad choice about Kayla. But, well, Ponyboy, I'm still real proud of you. You're really smart and you're going to go places in the world if you can get off these damn drugs."
Soda stops a minute to think, but then he just says, "I love you lots, Ponyboy. No matter what happens, remember that."
"What are you thinking about? Huh? You've always been a good kid, but now, your, your different." Sodapop frowns at me. I am sorry that it happened; I shouldn't have smoked it again. When Darry found out that I had, he panicked.
Now here we are, at the dead end of the road. That's what Darry says, anyway. That if I don't quit after this, he's not sure what he can do.
"What do you think mom and dad would think, huh, Ponyboy?"
Soda's words pierce my heart. Mom. Dad. What would they think? They'd be awful disappointed in me. Darry's tried hard and done good, and they'd be real proud of him. Sodapop's gotten into the world, gotten a job, and stayed light-hearted and fun. They'd be proud of him. But me, they'd be real disappointed in me. I've let them down.
The next step in getting me off Marijuana is that Two-bit, Steve, Darry, and Soda are going to be here along with the counselor. Then they're all supposed to tell me why I shouldn't take the drugs. Basically, they're supposed to pressure me out of taking them. I'd like to say it'd do no good, but maybe it will. It's the only thing I have left to hope for, that maybe it will help.
I have an hour before they'll be here, and I really want to talk about something else for awhile. "Sodapop, how's Sandy?"
I expect to see pain on his face, but there's none. "Bitchy, as usual. She wants us to get back together, says she doesn't care what her mom thinks, she wants to marry me and she's sorry about everything and that she loves me. It was kinda fun, telling her I didn't give a shit and to get lost."
I blink and look again, making sure that that's my brother speaking, telling me that he blew off Sandy like that. "Soda, um, don't get me wrong, I'm on your side, but, well, weren't you a little harsh? It must've taken her a lotta guts to say that to you, and maybe you coulda let her down easier?"
It feels good, talking about Soda's problems. It feels like no time has passed at all, like we're still as close as we used to be, before Johnny and Dallas died.
"Nope, no easier way of telling her how I feel, I'm afraid. She did seem a little quiet after that, though. I went ahead and drove her home, but she seemed reluctant to tell me what's all going on with her in jerk-land. I think she must've been a little hurt." The sarcasm in my brother's voice is calming, almost fun, in a way.
"Yeah, ok, as long as you don't think you were too hard on her." I smile in his direction, and surprisingly, he smiles back.
We're quiet for a long time. Words are too painful right now, only silence will do. That way we can just sit and enjoy each others' company. But Soda eventually breaks the silence.
"Ponyboy, I know that a whole lot has been happening lately, and it's easy to get caught up in life, and yes, you made a bad choice about Kayla. But, well, Ponyboy, I'm still real proud of you. You're really smart and you're going to go places in the world if you can get off these damn drugs."
Soda stops a minute to think, but then he just says, "I love you lots, Ponyboy. No matter what happens, remember that."