p class="MsoNormal""span style="text-transform: uppercase;"What did you just do and what the hell were you thinking/span!"/p
p class="MsoNormal"Phileas's mind cried out. His hands shook with repressed terror at what had just transpired. Cavois had just stood to leave and Passepartout was still on the other side of the entrance to this small room, likely wondering if his master was still alive. Phileas had known when his valet had left the room, but at the time, he had been in a steely calm./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"The feeling fits me like a second skin. I have lived with it for years. It comes on me when the danger to me or another is at its highest. It gives me a detachment giving me sharp concentration, discounting any harm, ignoring overwhelming odds, and in essence, making me behave like a stone-cold bastard./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"This time you used that steely calm to play death games, Phileas accused. This time, you did not simply meet the enemy; you joined that assassin in his madness and proved yourself the more demented. Cavois, at least, had found some lingering sense of self-preservation. He had used it to save himself. But you, Phileas Fogg… You had to one up the man. You picked up the gun after your opponent accepted his defeat and…/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"I held it… to my own head, firing away until I heard the weapon find the chamber with its single bullet. Then I turned the gun on Cavois, and…/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"Phileas stopped his litany of mortal transgressions, acknowledging that he had in the end regained a semblance of sanity in this episode of psychotic perversity. I can kill and have killed, but I'm not a murderer. I emptied the weapon of its one bullet just over the man's right shoulder, inches from his head./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"The professional assassin had not been ready to die. No, not at all. When I pointed the gun at Cavois, he had been afraid. When the bullet left the gun, I could see that Cavois expected death. Then, when the sound of its firing died away, he lived still. He took long seconds before he opened those eyes after tightly clinching them in terror, shaking all over in the realization that he had life still. It took another ten seconds to accept what had truly happened before he stood and accepted his defeat. He was alive, but a dead man nonetheless; and will be expected to conduct himself as one./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"Silently, Cavois had lowered his defeated eyes from Phileas's steely calm ones to acknowledge that fact. He left the room with his second trailing behind him, heading to whatever crypt he plans to hide in./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""It is over," something/someone said in Phileas' head. It was a near audible voice, soft and soothing, speaking in a whisper. "Rebecca will be safe now. Cavois will never menace her or you ever again."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"Phileas heard the voice and knew there was no one in the room with him. He looked about anyway. Then he began to shake from a new terror, of what he had just gone through and a very real fear for his sanity. No sane man would have done what I just did. Sane men did not hear voices in empty rooms either./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"It's finally happened. Phileas broke down in the growing panic; he had cleared the edge of the abyss into madness completely. His body's quaking was uncontrollable. Fogg turned in his seat and silently called out to a god he had only given a nodding acquaintance to in recent years. His eyes closed tight, and his shaking hands came together at the fingertips./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"In an instant, time stopped./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"The darkness he had fled to with eyes closed was replaced with a blinding brightness. He stood in the middle of that brightness in the presence of the owner of the voice. It was a man/presence… angel? Phileas couldn't for the life of him identify the being before him. It was fierce, frightening, and glorious all at the same time. It carried with it a strength that sent the mere mortal Phileas Fogg to his knees before it. He had no clear vision of its appearance, only an impression of overwhelming strength. His mind extrapolated a familiar approximation, a man in robes and armor carrying a shield and sword. A very big man, one that made him feel like a child looking at a giant. But the ferocity in this being was not menacing, it was triumphant… jubilant, and the effect of feeling this creature's presence staggered him./p
p class="MsoNormal"Phileas's terrified mind changed its assessment of this creature. This is no angel of God but of Satan; it is a demon from Hell! It is the one that drives me to fits of suicidal insanity such as this. It's celebrating its total triumph./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"I'm lost!/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"Oh, God… Help me!/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"As Phileas struggled in a fit of panic, the creature before him took notice and addressed him again in a rich deep masculine voice full of fraternal comfort. "Fear not old chap. God is still with you. You are not in the clutches of any demon. The demon was in the other fellow; and we defeated them! Good show old boy!"/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"The very English accent and turn of phrase the voice used took Phileas so by surprise, he lost his fear and stared. The creature before him still scared him. But then even that cleared away as a feeling of warm comfort washed over him./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Yes, Phileas Fogg. I am an angel, your guardian angel. And I was here for you and with you, through it all."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""You don't feel like an angel," Fogg said before he could break off the thought for fear of offending the creature. He needn't have worried./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"The angel laughed, deep and joyously. "I'm not that kind of angel." it chuckled. "Those angels watch over less troublesome souls. For one such as you, sterner stuff is required. And you keep me right busy sometimes."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"Phileas could well believe that, even if he had not considered the existence of guardian angels in years. A long-forgotten verse of scripture came back to him from somewhere in his early religious education. 'Somewhere in Mathew, was it?'/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""The tenth verse of the eighteenth chapter of Mathew," the angel supplied for him. "A good verse to keep in mind."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""You are a right lucky mortal Phileas Fogg," the angel continued. "If you had not been so grounded in God's grace early on, you would have damned yourself good these last few years. But God looks kindly on those who will lay down their lives for others, and you know enough to be penitent and pull away short of falling into perdition. I didn't make you not murder that evil fellow, Phileas Fogg. You did that yourself. You did right good, old boy. Now go from this place. Your man is waiting for you. Remember this; God is always with you, even in times such as these."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"With those words of bone deep soothing comfort, time reasserted itself and Phileas Fogg was back in his shaking body with his eyes shut tight. His trembling hands were still held together at the fingertips. He clenched his hands into fists in an attempt get hold of himself and looked up into Passepartout's face./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"I did not commit suicide here tonight, nor did I commit murder. I came in the name of protecting Rebecca's life and succeeded./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"God forgive me the means./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"Phileas's mind cried out. His hands shook with repressed terror at what had just transpired. Cavois had just stood to leave and Passepartout was still on the other side of the entrance to this small room, likely wondering if his master was still alive. Phileas had known when his valet had left the room, but at the time, he had been in a steely calm./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"The feeling fits me like a second skin. I have lived with it for years. It comes on me when the danger to me or another is at its highest. It gives me a detachment giving me sharp concentration, discounting any harm, ignoring overwhelming odds, and in essence, making me behave like a stone-cold bastard./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"This time you used that steely calm to play death games, Phileas accused. This time, you did not simply meet the enemy; you joined that assassin in his madness and proved yourself the more demented. Cavois, at least, had found some lingering sense of self-preservation. He had used it to save himself. But you, Phileas Fogg… You had to one up the man. You picked up the gun after your opponent accepted his defeat and…/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"I held it… to my own head, firing away until I heard the weapon find the chamber with its single bullet. Then I turned the gun on Cavois, and…/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"Phileas stopped his litany of mortal transgressions, acknowledging that he had in the end regained a semblance of sanity in this episode of psychotic perversity. I can kill and have killed, but I'm not a murderer. I emptied the weapon of its one bullet just over the man's right shoulder, inches from his head./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"The professional assassin had not been ready to die. No, not at all. When I pointed the gun at Cavois, he had been afraid. When the bullet left the gun, I could see that Cavois expected death. Then, when the sound of its firing died away, he lived still. He took long seconds before he opened those eyes after tightly clinching them in terror, shaking all over in the realization that he had life still. It took another ten seconds to accept what had truly happened before he stood and accepted his defeat. He was alive, but a dead man nonetheless; and will be expected to conduct himself as one./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"Silently, Cavois had lowered his defeated eyes from Phileas's steely calm ones to acknowledge that fact. He left the room with his second trailing behind him, heading to whatever crypt he plans to hide in./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""It is over," something/someone said in Phileas' head. It was a near audible voice, soft and soothing, speaking in a whisper. "Rebecca will be safe now. Cavois will never menace her or you ever again."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"Phileas heard the voice and knew there was no one in the room with him. He looked about anyway. Then he began to shake from a new terror, of what he had just gone through and a very real fear for his sanity. No sane man would have done what I just did. Sane men did not hear voices in empty rooms either./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"It's finally happened. Phileas broke down in the growing panic; he had cleared the edge of the abyss into madness completely. His body's quaking was uncontrollable. Fogg turned in his seat and silently called out to a god he had only given a nodding acquaintance to in recent years. His eyes closed tight, and his shaking hands came together at the fingertips./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"In an instant, time stopped./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"The darkness he had fled to with eyes closed was replaced with a blinding brightness. He stood in the middle of that brightness in the presence of the owner of the voice. It was a man/presence… angel? Phileas couldn't for the life of him identify the being before him. It was fierce, frightening, and glorious all at the same time. It carried with it a strength that sent the mere mortal Phileas Fogg to his knees before it. He had no clear vision of its appearance, only an impression of overwhelming strength. His mind extrapolated a familiar approximation, a man in robes and armor carrying a shield and sword. A very big man, one that made him feel like a child looking at a giant. But the ferocity in this being was not menacing, it was triumphant… jubilant, and the effect of feeling this creature's presence staggered him./p
p class="MsoNormal"Phileas's terrified mind changed its assessment of this creature. This is no angel of God but of Satan; it is a demon from Hell! It is the one that drives me to fits of suicidal insanity such as this. It's celebrating its total triumph./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"I'm lost!/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"Oh, God… Help me!/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"As Phileas struggled in a fit of panic, the creature before him took notice and addressed him again in a rich deep masculine voice full of fraternal comfort. "Fear not old chap. God is still with you. You are not in the clutches of any demon. The demon was in the other fellow; and we defeated them! Good show old boy!"/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"The very English accent and turn of phrase the voice used took Phileas so by surprise, he lost his fear and stared. The creature before him still scared him. But then even that cleared away as a feeling of warm comfort washed over him./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""Yes, Phileas Fogg. I am an angel, your guardian angel. And I was here for you and with you, through it all."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""You don't feel like an angel," Fogg said before he could break off the thought for fear of offending the creature. He needn't have worried./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"The angel laughed, deep and joyously. "I'm not that kind of angel." it chuckled. "Those angels watch over less troublesome souls. For one such as you, sterner stuff is required. And you keep me right busy sometimes."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"Phileas could well believe that, even if he had not considered the existence of guardian angels in years. A long-forgotten verse of scripture came back to him from somewhere in his early religious education. 'Somewhere in Mathew, was it?'/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""The tenth verse of the eighteenth chapter of Mathew," the angel supplied for him. "A good verse to keep in mind."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal""You are a right lucky mortal Phileas Fogg," the angel continued. "If you had not been so grounded in God's grace early on, you would have damned yourself good these last few years. But God looks kindly on those who will lay down their lives for others, and you know enough to be penitent and pull away short of falling into perdition. I didn't make you not murder that evil fellow, Phileas Fogg. You did that yourself. You did right good, old boy. Now go from this place. Your man is waiting for you. Remember this; God is always with you, even in times such as these."/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"With those words of bone deep soothing comfort, time reasserted itself and Phileas Fogg was back in his shaking body with his eyes shut tight. His trembling hands were still held together at the fingertips. He clenched his hands into fists in an attempt get hold of himself and looked up into Passepartout's face./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"I did not commit suicide here tonight, nor did I commit murder. I came in the name of protecting Rebecca's life and succeeded./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"God forgive me the means./p
p class="MsoNormal" /p