Merlin ran up the stairs from his lair to his kitchen, grabbed a bowl from the cupboard, took a spoon from the silverware drawer, and poured duplicated Magic Treasures into the bowl. But then he noticed that he had forgotten something; he just couldn't remember what else went with cereal. Gee, I wonder what that could be…

"Milk!" he realized. He waved his magic wand and said, "Bovine, bovine, small or big. Give me a cow, not a donkey or pig!"

Suddenly, a black and white cow poofed out of a puffed cloud and said, "Moo!"

"Now, I will have to milk you," said Merlin.

When the cow heard that an old, creepy, weird wizard was going to milk her, she kicked Merlin's butt so hard that your daddy would be impressed with beating up old, creepy, weird wizards. The cow grew wheels like how Dababy turned into a convertible and drove - so fast and so far - that she made a huge hole in the wall of Merlin's home. Merlin got so gosh-darn mad that he stomped harder than the horses mentioned in the previous chapter.

"Do you know how long it took me to learn that spell?!" shouted Merlin. "It was like 20 seconds or something! I could've spent those seconds doing something else if I knew this was going to go wrong!"

But then, Merlin opened the fridge door, saw a whole carton of fresh milk on one of the shelves, and groaned with frustration.

"If that's how you want it…" he mumbled.

Merlin reached in the fridge, grabbed the carton, and walked back to the table. He poured the milk in the magical cereal as crystals emerged from the depths of the bowl and his mind blew up with all of the possibilities that that cereal could have. He hoped that it would make his taste buds jump with joy, hug his mouth, and cheer for more. (If you don't know what the concept of personification is, then you wouldn't know what that meant.) He picked up his spoon, dug it into the marshmallows, and brought it closer to his mouth. He was sweating, beating, anticipating having the best breakfast he would ever consume…

"Merlin!" shouted Surly as he flew vastly into the kitchen. "You're still not feeding me?! And why are you having cereal at 12:30?! I just told you that it's lunch time, you sagging bag of uselessness! If you won't give me something to eat, you will be something to eat! I'm dead serious!"

Merlin jumped from his seat, went crazy from all of the demands, and - without warning - shoved the spoonful of Magic Treasures into Surly's avian mouth. After Surly unintentionally swallowed the treats, he went insane from Merlin's pestering and started to poke him harder and harder. Merlin's head had so many pecks that it looked more like a cantaloupe than a part of the body.

But then, something dreadful happened.

Surly abruptly stopped what he was doing. He turned his head 360 degrees counter-clockwise, opened his mouth with sounds coming out that sound similar to the most obnoxious sirens anyone could hear, and his eyes turned cherry red.

"That's strange…" Merlin said to himself. "Usually he would turn his head clockwise."

Then, something else dreadful happened.

Surly didn't look so realistic anymore. He had turned into a brightly colored, creepy, big-white-eyed cartoon owl with the most unnerving smile since the Cheshire cat. He slowly turned his head around - but this time it was 90 degrees clockwise - to Merlin's face and shouted in a demonic voice, "Eat these yummy, delicious treats! You will never feel pain ever again after you have tried these Magic Treasures!" Suddenly, Surly grabbed two wingfuls of Magic Treasures and pushed them into Merlin's mouth, who was suffocating from the large quantity of marshmallows. He twisted, turned, cried, licked the floor, said "I love Barney the Dinosaur!" in Korean, and transformed into a stupid cartoon. His smile was even more creepy than Surly's smile!

"We must give everyone these yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy Magic Treasures, slave!" said Merlin in one of the most horrifying voices in all of England.

Now, here is what happened: Your mom died in the story. Of course I'm not going to straight up explain what happened, you moron! Have you ever heard of "show, don't tell"? Huh? Tell me! I'm getting sick and tired of people explaining things that don't need to be explained! Shut up! Anyway…

"OK, slave," said Surly. "We need everyone (not just in England, but in the entire cosmos) to eat these! And then we will force everyone to dance to baby songs… and stuff!"

"That's stupid," Merlin grunted.

"Just like you?" said Surly. "Would you legitimately start using your imagination, Mr. Lame?"

"Let's just go," said Merlin. "You're a pain in the neck to deal with!"

Merlin waved his cartoon wand and summoned a staircase that went straight up to the surface of England. While he climbed the arduous stairs, Surly flew up to the sky (because he's a bird, for you "geniuses" out there). After Merlin got really sweaty, tired, and depressed from climbing up the hundred-flight stairs, Surly shouted, "Get up, you lazy bum! You poopy head! You dum-dum!"

Merlin smacked Surly across his owlish face with the wizard's own wrinkly hand, causing a red spot to form on the owl's cheek.

After Surly cussed at Merlin for 10 minutes, the two of them looked around for some innocent folks who would be foolish enough to eat the treasures and be the Devil's slaves. They looked and walked for 30 minutes until they saw a medium-sized village on the horizon. There were hundreds if not thousands of people looking at the King of England talking to two folks about something that neither of the "slaves" could understand. They looked at each other, took deep breaths, and produced smiles that were so pitiful and horrifying that Sus Jerma would say, "All right, I'm out of here," dig a 12-foot hole before leaping in, and bury himself completely for at least 30 years.

"Let's do it," said Merlin.

"Yes!" said Surly.